aftershock
“Wow, this place is smaller than I thought it would be,” Sebastian said while looking at the library of books surrounding my desk.
“Well, it is based on the user’s needs. I imagine it could get larger.” My eyes traveled to his hands as he grazed his fingers across the binding of a leather-bound book on the shelf. Something in me lit up like a flame watching him read each title and touch each of my books.
“You have a whole bedroom in here!” Ominis said while exploring the room with his wand in hand. My cheeks went pink with embarrassment when I realized that I had been staring at Sebastian for a couple of minutes.
“What is that doorway to?” asked Sebastian after peeling himself away from the books. He opened the door and revealed Deek, who was making tea.
“Oh!” Exclaimed Deek.
“He is a house-elf here at Hogwarts. I wanted to give him a nice place to rest, just like I found a place to rest here.” Deek came out of his room with a teapot and three mugs on a tray. He smiled at me as he passed.
“It is the first time Deek has met any friends of Miss Willow,” Deek said. “I am Deek.”
“Nice to meet you, Deek. My name is Sebastian,” he said while grabbing a cup of tea. “This is my favorite tea. Thank you, Deek.”
“That is Miss Willow’s favorite tea as well!” said Deek. I smiled softly as Deek handed me a cup.
“Now that we are here, I want to know why you feel you need help with defending yourself,” Ominis said as he took a sip from his cup. Deek excused himself and went back into his room to leave us with some privacy.
“After what happened last spring, I haven’t shaken the feeling that something bad is going to happen. It has been haunting me for months,” I said while taking a seat at my desk to dig for a book.
“So that’s what you have been researching,” Sebastian said as realization set in. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” I looked at him without an answer. I didn’t want to involve them or worry them. I found the book I had fallen asleep on the day before and handed it to Sebastian.
“Well, I might be able to help you a little bit. Though I never was able to defend myself against my parents, I may be able to help you fight against other dark wizards,” Ominis said. I walked over and hugged him. I hadn’t realized how scared I truly was until Ominis had wrapped his arms around me. Before I knew it, I had tears rolling down my cheeks and onto his shirt. He squeezed me tighter as I cried quietly. Sebastian was too busy pouring over the books to realize at first. I sniffed and heard him get up and move toward us. I felt him wrap us both in a warm hug.
“I felt left out,” Sebastian said muffled.
“All right, that’s enough,” Ominis said and he pulled away from us, but Sebastian didn’t let go.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Somehow it felt like he realized why I was so hurt that he had left me hanging the last month of summer. “I’m sorry for all of it.”
“It will be okay.” I pulled away from him and looked at his face. His features had softened as he placed his eyes on mine.
“You don’t think Everett is a dark wizard, do you, Willow?” asked Ominis.
“No, he couldn’t be. He strikes me as an asshole, not someone who is willing to use the Cruciatus Curse on people,” Sebastian said as he let go of me.
“Funny you should be the one to say that, Sebastian,” Ominis said.
“Hey, it was one time, and it was life or death for all of us there, Ominis. I am the reason we are even here to help Willow in the first place.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow as he waited for Ominis’ response.
“I suppose you’re right, just this once, Sebastian. Don’t let it go to your head.” I could not help but feel loved at that moment. My heart felt full looking at Ominis and Sebastian in the Room of Requirement and talking about ways to protect me. I felt well-protected and well-loved. I had a big, goofy grin on my face.
“What’s that smile for, Starling?” asked Sebastian.
“Oh, nothing. I just feel like everything might be okay for once,” I said while smiling at him. “And it is all thanks to you both.”
“We will always be here for you, Willow,” said Ominis.
“Always,” repeated Sebastian as he looked into my eyes. The past months fell away as I looked at him.
The boys and I continued to chat about the ways that we would use the Room of Requirement and the Undercroft in the coming days for training and research purposes. At some point, we had all laid down on the bed in my bedroom. As we lay there, we discussed the outcomes of my love life.
“That punch looked like a pretty good one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has a huge bruise,” I said.
“I can definitely feel my bruises,” Sebastian said while poking at his face. Out of instinct, I grabbed his hand to keep him from touching it. Instead of letting go, Sebastian intertwined our fingers as we lay there. My heart fluttered in my chest.
“It will teach you to stop being such an idiot,” Ominis said, unaware of the butterflies in my stomach as Sebastian rubbed his thumb on the back of my hand while holding it. Sebastian turned his head toward mine and he studied my face for a reaction.
“I will likely never stop being an idiot,” Sebastian responded, still looking into my eyes as I smiled. I never wanted this moment to end. At that moment, I knew that I only wanted Sebastian. There was no chance that I would end up with Everett while Sebastian could simply win my heart by just existing near me. My heart felt lighter as I let go of what could have been with Everett.
“We should probably get down to dinner,” Ominis said sleepily. “It is getting a bit late.”
“Yes, we should,” I said with a sad face, not wanting to let go of Sebastian’s hand. As we all got up to go, Deek came out of his room to wish us a good night.
“Goodnight, Deek! Be sure to get some rest. I think we are going to be having more company from now on!” I said with a smile.
“I like that he takes such good care of you,” Sebastian said while opening the door for Ominis and I.
“It is nice to know that you are getting rest somewhere,” Ominis added.
“Yeah, well, now you both know why I haven’t.” I felt a hand wrap around mine as I walked.
“We won’t let you do this alone,” Sebastian said while rubbing his thumb over my hand again. The butterflies continued and grew inside my stomach. As we rounded the corner, Sebastian dropped my hand at the sight of a group of girls. My heart dropped to my stomach as I realized that nothing had changed. He was not ready to face his feelings for me, he just wanted to play with mine.
We walked into the Great Hall in silence and Everett looked over the crowd at the three of us, searching Sebastian’s face for bruises as he sported his own fair share. Everett’s gaze found mine and his eyes rolled. He hated me now. I understood why, but I hoped we could eventually be friends.
I sat down across from Sebastian and Ominis in typical fashion. I started to eat the meal in front of me before I realized that Sebastian had been staring at me. I looked up and locked eyes with him. He looked conflicted as if he didn’t know how to act anymore. It was understandable since he was the reason Everett and I did not work out. He obviously was not ready for anything.
“What happened earlier, Willow?” asked Juniper as she sat down next to me at the table.
“Nothing to worry about. Why do you ask?” I answered.
“Well, I noticed that Everett’s face is pretty banged up and I can’t help but see that Sebastian’s is as well,” she said while staring down Sebastian.
“We may have had a little fistfight because he would not let her walk away earlier. I was protecting her.”
“Were you? Or were you just trying to make her life harder?” Juniper snapped.
“Juniper!” I said.
“No, he can’t keep doing this to you. I have watched him break your heart over and over for years. I am done watching it.”
“Go back to your table, Juniper. I don’t need your help,” I said. Juniper unwillingly left the table.
“I don’t know what she was talking about,” I said while avoiding Sebastian’s eyes. After all of my feelings were just laid out for me, I tried my hardest to act like it did not bother me at all. He didn’t need to know that I had loved him since our first year. He didn’t need to know that he was who I wanted, not after how he reacted to others seeing us in the hallway.
We each finished our dinners and headed back to the common room. Ominis decided to go right to bed, but I think he knew that we needed to talk about what happened. Sebastian and I sat on the couch where we had been just that morning.
The heat from the fire warmed my face as we sat in silence for a while. I did not know where to start or what to say to him. He sat with a blank face while staring at the fire. It seemed that we both didn’t know what to say.
“I,” Sebastian said. He went quiet again and looked over at me.
“You what?” I asked.
“I am so sorry for any part I had in any of this. I didn’t want any of this to happen, but you do deserve better than him. When I saw his grip on your arm, I knew I had to do something. He should never lay a finger on you.”
“It’s okay, Sebastian. I am not mad at all. I am grateful you were there.” I sat cross-legged on the far end of the couch from him.
“He’s a jerk,” Sebastian said while seemingly lost in thought.
“What’s going on up there?” I asked while I pointed at his head.
“I just feel as though,” he paused. “Juniper was right. I have been hurting you. I was in the middle of everything with Everett from the beginning.”
“She wasn’t right. You don’t have any control over the choices that I make or the feelings that I have.” My heart sped up. He quickly turned his face toward me and studied my face.
“Feelings?” he asked. I immediately rolled my eyes.
“What? Do you think that I just walk around kissing anyone? You are going to tell me that you just kissed me because we are friends?”
“Well,” he said but did not finish what he was saying.
“Wow,” I said. I didn’t want to sit up with him anymore. “I guess I am going to bed.”
Before he could reply. I got up and went to my room to get ready for bed. I knew that he would never tell me his real feelings. I knew it the moment that he dropped my hand in the hallway. A tear rolled down my cheek as I lay down and allowed sleep to wash over me.