a summer flashback
The summer air blew through our home as Juniper tended to my grandmother's garden. It finally felt peaceful after what happened with my sister near the end of the school year. Another moment passed and my heart skipped a beat as the scene flashed in my mind. Moments of peace were few and far between without the comfort of Hogwarts and my friends. In those moments, I felt that I could breathe, but I did not quite feel safe. I felt that at any moment, another dark wizard would come after us.
I suddenly heard an owl screech as it came toward our window.
"It is probably for me! My friend Lydia is supposed to be writing me back. We might go to Hogsmeade," Juniper said as if this spring was any indication that she should be going anywhere without protection. The owl held a letter in its beak that was addressed to me. I grabbed the letter from him and patted his head before sending the owl back on his way.
"It's for me," I said. I never got many letters over the summer. Ominis would write to me sometimes to check in and let me know he was okay. I worried about his family and the things they might do to him when he got stuck there during the summer. Every so often, I would get a letter from Poppy, but she was very busy this summer looking after all of her rescued animals from the past school year.
"Who is it from?" Juniper called from outside the window.
"It's from... Sebastian," my voice quieted at the name as it fell out of my mouth. He had rarely written to me. It was always Anne who had done so, but Anne had gone. I missed her.
"WHO? Sebastian Sallow wrote to you?" Juniper asked from outside. I ignored her, and quickly walked out the door of the house, past her beautiful plants, and through the gate to get to my spot.
I sat with my legs crisscrossed on the grass up the side of the hill just above Keenbridge. I loved to sit here in the quiet without being disturbed. Our hamlet was so little, it almost felt so small that I could not breathe sometimes. I longed for bigger, but this spot was my favorite place to go and think. My fingers pulled at the wax seal and unfolded the parchment.
Dear Willow,
I wanted to let you know that I heard from Anne. She is still doing okay but wishes to stay apart. I wish I could get her back home. I tried so hard to save her. I fear I have lost her forever. I hope you are doing well and that Juniper enjoys being home with her garden again. I miss having my sister. It is so lonely in Feldcroft now that I don't know what to do with myself here. I found myself flying aimlessly to pass the time. I know we never wrote to each other, but I remembered that my sister used to write to you often before she left and I know how much you must miss her. She told me to tell you she thinks of you often but does not feel right getting in between any friendships at Hogwarts. Please write back. I will be waiting.
Signed,
Sebastian Sallow
I had tears running down my cheek thinking about Anne and how much I missed her. My heart felt heavy and then I had a thought. Why would her writing to me get in the way of anything? I thought we were best friends. I had figured she had been too sick to write to me after going through grief regarding her uncle. I did not think she was actively avoiding speaking with me, until now. I rushed back home to grab my quill and parchment.
Dear Sebastian,
I would be happy to come to visit Feldcroft at any time. My broom has been sitting idle as I spend my days aimlessly as well. After this spring's events, I am not sure if I will ever feel normal or good again. I miss Anne. Thank you for thinking of me and writing. I do miss her owl coming to the window every day. Name the day and I will come and visit.
Signed,
Willow
I handed my owl, Bea, the letter and sent her off with it. Before I could even find anything else to do other than pester my sister out in the garden, Sebastian's owl came swooping back in. I grabbed the letter and ripped it open.
Come today?
Sebastian
With that, and with nothing better to do, I got ready to fly to Feldcroft before thinking anything through. I did not tell Juniper where I was going, but after I annoyed her in the garden, it was likely a welcome reprieve. I waited until I had walked far enough away from our hamlet before swinging a leg over my broom and taking off to Feldcroft.
The air felt cool on my face on the warm summer day as I flew over fields upon fields and hills upon hills. I finally saw Feldcroft in the distance and slowed my speed as I came in. My heart quickened at the sight of the old cottage, once full of family and life, now empty with only one person living inside. It was my first time back in Feldcroft since Solomon passed away and Anne fled. I popped down right in the middle of the little hamlet.
"That was quick!" I heard a voice sound behind me. I turned to see Sebastian standing outside with another townsperson who quietly dismissed their conversation and went on their way. His eyes looked tired, but his skin had a glow from spending days in the summer sun. His freckles had darkened into a deeper shade and had spread across his cheeks.
"Well, I had nothing better to do and Juniper was tired of me bothering her." I let out a sigh as I took in my surroundings. It was nice not to be in Keenbridge for once.
"I am glad you came. Let's go inside." Sebastian led the way to the cottage that I had grown so familiar with in past years. I recalled the summer days I spent here after my parents passed away during my third year. My grandmother did not know how to handle us yet, not that she had quite gotten the handle of it now. I worried about her when I was at school, but knew the neighbors in the hamlet would take care of her. Our time in Feldcroft was always full of laughter. Anne always made me feel welcome as if this had been my home instead of my grandmother's.
"Are you hungry? I haven't quite gotten cooking down yet, but my neighbor was just dropping off some stew for me."
"I wouldn't mind some. My grandmother has only been making liver lately due to the benefits that she heard it has," I grimaced thinking about the liver that may be waiting for me on the table when I get home.
"Benefits?" questioned Sebastian.
"She was told by someone who was traveling through Keenbridge that cow liver can help extend the life of those who eat them. If I never have to stomach another one, it would still be too soon." I sat down at the table while Sebastian brought bowls and spoons over. The stew smelled delicious and nothing like liver. I could feel my stomach growl.
"You were not lying," Sebastian laughed at the sound of my stomach. My face blushed as he served me some stew. This did not seem like the Sebastian I had gotten used to years ago, but we had been distant from each other since our fifth year. Most of our sixth year was spent with Ominis while Sebastian seemed to stay away from all of us. Ominis would not tell me anything that had happened between them, but I knew something was different. It was not until later in the spring that the two seemed to reconcile, but Sebastian was still somewhere else mentally.
"So, you got my letter," Sebastian stated.
"Yes, it would seem so," I said back. I sat in quiet for a moment. I had not thought about the lack of other friends making things a bit awkward. We hadn't really talked in over a year and we were never alone when we did so. He glanced up from his stew and made eye contact with me for the first time in minutes.
"I did not mean to lay it all on you like that. I truly was planning on writing you just to let you know that Anne was still okay,"
"It's okay, you needed to let it out," I spoke softly, trying to convey that there was no issue.
"No, it is not okay. You have obviously been through something yourself and all I can think of is me," Sebastian said while laying his spoon down next to his bowl. His hand came up to his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. My heart hurt for him. Seeing him like this made something soften within me toward him. He and I always had a playful relationship, but it felt like our relationship had suddenly shifted together. It felt as if we had ended up somewhere deeper than before.
"You are all alone out here. I cannot imagine what you have been through, Sebastian. I knew Solomon's passing must have been difficult, so I did not pry last year. Maybe I should have, but I also knew that you would not tell me anyway." He winced at the mention of Solomon and I knew I had struck a nerve.
"I am sorry for leaving you alone like that. I just did not know how to approach you, especially with everything happening with Anne. Losing your best friend? I could not even look you in the eye for the first half of last year." He looked into my eyes, his welling up with tears. I could not stand to see him in such pain.
"You may be a thorn in my side sometimes, Sallow, but I will always be willing to lend an ear to you. You and Anne played a part in getting my sister and me through one of the hardest times in our lives. You had no control over what Anne did after Solomon passed," I said. It took me saying that to him to realize that even though he took to making fun of me throughout our schooling, he truly was one of the pillars in my life all along. He was someone I never wanted to lose. He placed his hand on mine and looked me deeply in the eyes.
"I am here for you too," he spoke softly. He had not been told about the attack on my sister in the late spring. My sister and I had decided not to tell anyone, but the secret was hard to keep. Ominis seemed to know something was up, but he never asked.
"Oh, well, I- I am okay," I said. I pulled my hand away from his to take another bite of stew. Sebastian looked at me for a moment before grabbing another serving of stew. The meal continued in comfortable silence for a few minutes until we were full. I truly had been starving.
We decided to go for a walk just outside Feldcroft. The world always looked most beautiful when the sun started to set. We found a spot to sit and watch the sunset together.
"I know that something had to happen in the spring. You wrote me about it," Sebastian said as he picked at a blade of grass.
"I just meant all of my studies. The O.W.L.s were looming over me for months." Sebastian let out an incredulous laugh.
"You are one of the smartest witches that I have ever known. There is no way it was about the O.W.Ls." Sebastian knew me better than I gave him credit for.
"Okay, but I don't know if I want to talk about it yet." My voice shook as I wrapped my arms around my legs after bringing my knees to my chest.
"I understand what that is like. I won't force it out of you but I want you to know that you can trust me." I looked him over as if his appearance would show me I could. I took a deep breath and looked around to make sure that we were alone. I suddenly felt as if I might throw up all of the stew I had just eaten.
"My sister was attacked in the late spring. We had taken a weekend trip to our grandmother's house because Juniper wanted to get a head start on her garden for the summer. I had agreed because we believed it would be safe. We got started on our journey a little bit late, but we made it just outside of Keenbridge before we landed to walk the rest of the way. A man approached us saying he recognized Juniper from somewhere and we told him there was no way that he knew her. He took out his wand and I told Juniper to run. As she turned, he hit her with petrificus totalis and I decided to fight. I took out my wand and attempted to disarm him, but I was shaking so hard that I missed. He was going to hurt my sister and I panicked. He was torturing her with the cruciatus curse and would not stop. He kept asking her questions about what she knew of some order of dark wizards, and he told her he would kill her if she did not answer. It turned out that my training in Crossed Wands did not prepare me and," my voice caught in my throat as a sob built up in my chest. "I- I... I killed him."
Sebastian immediately wrapped his arms around me and held me there as the sun continued to lower on the horizon until it had completely disappeared. He did not say anything for a long time. I cried into his chest and could feel his heart racing on my face. His shirt was wet with my tears, and I finally got the strength to speak.
"Do you think I'm a bad person?" I pulled back to look into his eyes.
"No. You were protecting your sister, something that I could never do fully." He spoke with such sadness in his voice. His eyes glistened with tears as he grabbed hold of my hand.
"We didn't know what to do, so we ran into town saying that we came across someone on the road who had collapsed. We lied. I cannot live with myself."
"You will live. You will learn to accept yourself and move past it."
"How do you know?" His eyes were piercing mine now. He paused a moment, deep in thought.
"Because I know you." Sebastian wiped the tears off of my cheek as we sat under the moonlight, and I realized then and there that he knew me better than anyone else did. For the rest of the night, before I flew back to Keenbridge, we laid back and stared up at the stars without saying much, but we did not need to. For this short time on this little hill outside of Feldcroft, we finally felt real peace.