Has it ever happened to you that you made a choice that’s the best and the worst at the same time? To Evan, that choice was becoming a dementor after death.
It was a good choice, the best even, because even after he died he could see Barty. Just couldn’t kiss him unless he wanted to suck Barty’s soul out.
But right now, at the Hogwarts express, he feels like it’s the worst decision in the world.
Dementors feed off of happy memories, but what Evan didn’t know was that they also hear and see and feel the sad memories.
And right there is Harry James Potter, the most traumatised kid in the world with enough sad memories to write a book longer than the bible.
But the worst, of course, was the death of his parents.
And for some fucked up reason, Evan heard it too. Every time he gets near the boy, or near Sirius in Azkaban, or near Remus, or anyone else that knew James and Lily the way Evan and the others did, he relives their deaths. Like, a million little times.
One time, we was just flying around in Azkaban when he accidentally came across Sirius’ cell. And he saw it, that’s when he found out the truth.
He saw Sirius finding out James and Lily were dead, he saw Peter Pettigrew blowing up his wand, he saw Peter Pettigrew tuning into a rat framing Sirius for a crime he never committed, nor did he want to commit it.
Evan’s new mission was worse, though. He had to go near Harry. Multiple times.
And whenever he did, he saw it.
He saw James running towards the door (stupid idiot forgot his wand), he heard James’ last words (‘Please don’t blame Sirius’), he saw Lily running for dear life to the nursery.
He heard the words.
‘Avada Kedavra’
Evan had only said those words one time.
It was easily said, just two words and that stupid Aurors life was over.
Just two words and James’ life was over.
He heard Lily’s desperate screams, Harry’s cries, James’ last words and there was nothing, nothing at all he could do.
They just died, and died, and died, a million little times.