☆1. last great amarican dynasty ☆

Some minutes ago, which felt like hours, the world had stopped for a second or atleast it did for Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. The three boys just staring at each other as silence blowed through the room like wind. Everyone trying to process what just happend.
Then everything moved way too fast
James had rushed off, peter nowhere to be seen either.
Leaving Sirius back in his own mind, shaking under the shock and anxiety that followed. Not completely able to grasp what had happened or what was going to result from it.

People always said that Sirius was his own character, an extraordinary personality on its own.

They said he was seen on occasion

Pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea

spinning around, quietly humming the words of his favourite songs

his leather jacket around his shoulders, a cigarette between his fingers

Always finding himself in the middle of trouble, countless pranks pulled as soon as someone gives him the slightest reason

One time in a feud with his neighbor

He stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

sometimes he would take it too far.

But he was never one to betray the people he loved, most would rather describe him as a loyal dog, going through fire for his group. His three closest friends would defend him when people compared him to his family, being there for him just as much. He wasn't bad, he was a good person, and he thought would never hurt any of them.

And yet, tonight, he did.

Sirius always had his nagging suspicions, thinking that maybe a part of his family's DNA is rotting him from the inside. Perhaps he was born to be a villain because, in the end, no matter what, people would get hurt by him. It wasn't unheard of, that he got upset easily, that a snarky, mean comment would slip out of his mouth, or that he would storm off closing himself from the rest of the castle.

When his mind wouldn't shut up, he would sit outside in front of the water at night, only the stars and the moon shining a dim light, and think about who he was and who he would become and who he wants to be.

Usually Remus, who typically couldn't fall asleep as well, would join him.

While Sirius was wide awake at night, he was asleep long in the mornings, sometimes during the first one to five classes. He never seemed to figure out exactly how Remus got back all that sleep he’d been deprived of because Sirius was able to see the dark circles under the boy's eyes and sometimes catch him dozing off on the couch while they sat beside each other while reading a book and listening to a new vinyl, but other than that, he mostly caught him awake, at least while Sirius was fully awake too.

At times, it felt like this was the only moment in which he could genuinely be vulnerable and reveal and express his inner self beneath his obnoxious facade. When the rest of the castle was sound asleep, the world got quieter, and the dimmed, dark sky created a somewhat comfortable blanket draped over their heads. Just the two sleepless boys, both accompanied by their own mental package that they slowly got to unpack with each other. Sirius would tell Remus that he truly isn't a monster, that Greyback is the evil one, but that he also believes it's not because of what the man is, not because of the wolf inside him, but because of the choices he has made that he has actively chosen, that Remus and his choice of actions in contrast are kind and good and the complete opposite of a monster, that he deserves to be free and to get to have a life. Remus would tell Sirius that he wasn't like what his mind would tell him. That, yes, it's true, Sirius is definitely the loudest person Hogwarts has ever seen, but he showed that he was a good person, that he was always making it right again, that he was loved, and that he's able to reciprocate that love back. The truth is that his last name was just some string of letters, nothing more, and that he will live up to create another definition of what it means to be a Black.

But at present, he is seated completely by himself in the dorm room at the open window, thinking, while James tries to make right what he did wrong.

While James tries to save two people, risking his own safety. Three people who could possibly die tonight—maybe four, Sirius is pretty sure Peter ran after James, but everything is a blur. Four people, three of his friends, one his lover. Four people that would die because of him.

He thought about running after them too, standing up to his own maniacal mistake, but James's harsh expression the moment he received the news told his friend everything, and while on a normal night, Sirius would consider this as even more of a push to make a run and do it anyway, he found himself frozen, not even in a position to move his fingertips. this wasn't something he could just fix with an apology or with a big gesture, not even trying to help safe what can be safed would fix it, nothing could fix this at all. it was done. he was done.

The dark sky felt like it would swallow Sirius in itself, the quietness suffocating him, and the loneliness sinking in like poison.

everything slowly makes his way to his mind.

How would he explain this to Remus, to the teachers, to his other friends. How could he explain this to himself. If something does happend, if someone does lose his life or gets turned. How could he life with that weight. Would Snape be going around telling everyone the secret if he survives...and if he doesn't, would Remus get locked up or killed, would he have to run away hiding from the authorities and end up doing something to himself out of guilt and hatred. Would James lose his young life while trying to safe the one of his best friend and his classmate, how would he tell james parents what happend, how could he look them in the eyes while telling the two people who took him in no atter what that their son isn't in this life anymore because of a stupid prank he pulled.

Who knows, if he never showed up, what could've been

There goes the most shameless person this town has ever seen

He had a marvelous time ruinin' everything

He didn't even fully comprehend what he had just done a few hours ago, he just cracked a wide evil smile when he left Snape in the school hallway. He even smirked all satisfied when he told Snape about the passageway to the shriking shack and all the details of how he could get to Remus during the most agonizing night the werewolf had to live through every month, and that was the most terrifying thing about it. Because he knew these were secrets, these were not meant for any other people to know, especially not their enemies and he just spilled them out with a grin, with a flash of joy and mischief in his eyes.

James eventually returned, but his usually clear, shining eyes started to look dull and tired, and he tried to avoid Sirius gaze. James was by no means a very frustrated, angry person, but he could feel the anger bubbling through his body and was aware that he would lash out if his eyes met Sirius right now, so he just moved past him into his bed, closing the curtain behind him. No word spoken but atleast he came back, not in a good state, blood on his shirt and dirt in his hair, atleast that was what sirius could spot in the small time they stand infront of eachother, but he came back.

Leaving Sirius with the knowledge that he's still alive and that the others had to be at least alive too, seeing his appearance, but nothing more. He would have to wait till the next morning, and every second would feel like a whole lifetime to him.