Give Not This Rotten Orange
The fucking nerve, that weasel. Draco stormed across the Astronomy courtyard toward him.
Harry reached out. "Draco, hey!"
Draco sneered, but the oblivious boy-who-just-kept-on-living didn't notice.
"Today's the day, right? You're gonna ask Ron to be your boyfriend?"
"No."
Harry laughed. "Right, you call it courting. My mistake."
"No, Potter, I won’t be courting Ronald." His words echoed off the walls of the castle. Every student nearby turned, including Ron. The lying toad approached, mouth agape.
"Yes, I'm talking about you, you rotten orange," Draco spat.
"What the hell did I do?" Ron asked, bewildered.
"Don't play innocent. I saw you kissing Hermione. I shall never again kiss your perfect lips nor hold your beautiful body."
"I swear I didn’t kiss Hermione. Love, I am, like super, super gay."
"I don't believe you. You have broken my trust as well as my heart!"
Ron reached out a hand, but Draco batted it away.
Ron winced, falling backward. He sat on the grass, staring at his hand, sniffling as tears ran down his ruddy cheeks.
Hermione, the lying slag, joined them. "Ron, you alright?"
"More proof of their torrid love affair. Look how she dotes upon him!"
She spun, her curls frizzing with magic. "I am not with Ron, you dolt." She sighed. "If you must know, Percy and I are seeing each other. It’s a secret since he's interning here, and I'm an 8th-year student."
"It- it was Percy?" Draco sputtered.
"Yes," Hermione responded. "Bet you feel pretty stupid. Can't even tell your boyfriend from his brother."
Draco dropped to his knees, undoubtedly getting stains on his trousers. "I’ve wronged you! If you never speak to me again, I understand!"
Ron was still sniffling. "You believe me? You know I didn't kiss a girl?"
"Yes, I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Ron."
"I forgive you, Draco. You can still ask to court me even. If you want."
Draco stood, taking Ron's hand. “Ronald, will you do me the honor of allowing me to court you?"
Ron smiled his beautiful, dopey smile. "Course." He grabbed Draco's face and snogged the life out of him.
Pansy approached Hermione. "What I miss?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Just Ron and Draco fighting over nothing."