“Why do you do this?” Draco asked. Harry was mid thrust when he heard the soft whisper that came in pants.
“Do what?” he himself was panting because of the effort he was putting in. He was on his knees with Draco's right ankle over his shoulder while he was thrusting into Draco with earnest. One could see the shiny later of sweat on both their bodies.
“This. You come in.. uhh fuck..whenever you wish, pull down.. oh merlin.. pull down your zipper, remove your,, yes there, more.. your Auror coat, fold your sleeves, remove my underwear to one side, fuck me like that’s the most important thing… harder, harder please… thing in your life, complete the action and then pat my ass and go away the way you came. Why do you do this?”
“Because I like it. And don’t tell me that you don’t. You wouldn’t be making these noises then.” Harry smirked
Draco sighed, and let himself lose to the brilliant action that he was getting. The post war days haven’t been unkind to him, but they could have been better. He lived in a studio apartment in the Diagon above his tiny potions shop. His mother had asked him to come back home but he had refused. His shop did well, no doubt, but he had no life whatsoever. Unless you call these irregular booty calls from an enemy turned acquaintance to be a life. All of his friends were in the continent, doing their things or some shaking up with rich brats of wizard royalty. Much like he used to be. Hey, he is not judging, but an owl one in a while would have been somewhat nice. So here he is, getting steadily boned by one Harry Potter who couldn’t even bother with taking his pants off.
“Hey, don’t say that. I do take your pants off sometimes.” Harry protested.
“Hmm. Yeah” he panted and moved his hand from Harry’s abdomen to his dick. Harry swapped his hand away, “uhh uhh not yet”. Draco thus, put his hand on Harry’s pec this time. Well, clothed pec. Harry changed the angle somewhat, grabbed his wrists and pinned them over his head. “Being needy, huh, Dray? Not happening. Keep your hands there, don’t you dare move them. That’s your punishment. You don’t get to touch me.” Harry muttered with a husky undertone which signaled that he was close. The voice always got Draco closer as well.
Harry increased his pace and bent down to bite Draco on the juncture of his neck and shoulders. Draco moaned beautifully while they both came together. Harry, inside Draco, and Draco all over his sheets and t shirt. Harry lay there, on top of Draco for a while, panting, trying to catch his breath. He then got up, cleaned himself with Draco’s sheet, zipped up his pants, pat Draco on the ass, squeezed him one and said, “See, I also squeeze your ass at times.” Chuckled and left the way he came in an hour ago. Draco lay there, like every time, feeling emptier each time Harry leaves. But, to his horror, this time, he cried. He got mad at himself; he did not want to cry. He knew there arrangement was nothing more than having meaningless sex from time to time. This arrangement even saved Draco from going out unnecessarily. However, there are times when the alley is far too silent and there is not even a cricket chirping, he thinks, it would be nice to be warm again. It would be nice to have friends again. After the war, Weasley, Granger, Longbottom, Lovegood and the rest of the Weasley clan had once invited Draco to go sit with them at the pub, but Draco had been too ashamed of himself to go to them and make new friends. Not long after that, he had bumped into Harry while he was hiding from some guy who had for some reason, taken a liking in him. Harry had offered to make out with him to drive the guy away. Since then, it has been a routine that whenever, Harry was wound up about something he would pay Draco a little visit and fuck his brains out.
Draco was really tired of this. He has not and will not ever confess to Harry that he has been in love with him since before he even saw him, since before he even knew what love was. Since his childhood, the numerous Harry Potter stories that her had heard, tuned his need to be Harry’s friend into devotion so strong that even the fear of death could not shake it. But no more, he will not be the doormat any more. Starting today, he will turn a new leaf. He will put himself first. No one ever has, it time he does.
He slowly got up, with Harry’s cum trickling down his leg, cleaned himself up, and then he went to his floo network and banned Harry from his apartment. He did the same with the wards. After having dinner with a heavy heart and a sense of closure, he went to bed and cried himself to sleep.
It had been 3 weeks since he last heard from Harry. He thinks about him every day, if he has eaten, if he is safe, if he is injured, if he has someone to take care of him. He just cannot stop it, he tries to school himself into not thinking about it, but it is harder than he had thought.
The second month after his great decision, he feels a shimmer in the wards and a muttered “What the fuck?” from his front door. So Harry needs to wet his dick again, does he? Well he is not getting laid tonight. Draco is completely ready to fight with Harry, about how he feels, about his decision. So he waits till the knock. But that never comes. All he hears is, “So, the prick banned me huh? Suit yourself Dray”, and then nothing. So little, huh? So very little consequence he is to the guy he has spent literally his whole life loving. Today, Draco cannot school himself, he screams and sobs and breaks things. He tears his pillows away, he sheds his sheets to smithereens, and still the agony in his which is threatening to burn him alive will not go. So, he did the next best thing, he went to the pub. He goes down to the Leaky and orders himself a pitcher of their best beer. Ready to drink his sorrow away and then start new from tomorrow. Today, please God, let me have today to mourn for something that never was mine, he thought. Only God has different plans, he sends the great Luna Lovegood and Ginerva Weasley in the pub. And thanks to his trademark Malfoy hair, they recognize him immediately. They trot over to him, he doesn’t even have the energy to be indifferent towards them. Recalling their invitation of friendship 5 years back, he tried to smile at them. They come over and join him at the booth.
“So, what’s up? You and Harry fighting?” Ginerva asks.
“What? What are you talking about?” Draco slurs.
“Oh, in denial, are we. Well, good to know, Lu, play along, shall we?” Ginerva smirks. The smirk is so much like Harry, he can barely control himself.
Luna, bless her, said, “Come on, Gin, he is hurting, don’t be like that.”
Ginerva just cackled like that is the funniest shit ever. However, Draco, really was hurting and he just wanted to talk about it all to someone. So, he burst out, “You don’t know shit, okay. You know nothing about me or my life, so stop thinking that you are better just because you have a bunch of people to love you. When your life is a tiny potions shop and an even tinier apartment with not even a cat for company, then come find me, and we can talk about how funny this is. Solitude is something that people crave, but loneliness is a real issue. You may not have that, and you are lucky that you don’t. So don’t sit there and judge me, thinking that it is something that I could get over with if I just had friends. Well guess what, I don’t. It has been five years, and I have yet to receive the letters that they had promised will write me.” By the end of it, Draco was crying and after his big speech, he could not control and he broke down. Surprisingly, it was Ginerva’s strong arms that hugged him tight and would not let go, no matter how much he struggled.
“I am sorry, I am so sorry” she whispered over and over again. When Draco’s sobs had died down and he was whimpering, Luna joined and rubbed his back while Ginerva stoked his hair. The human contact after so long overwhelmed him again, so he started crying again. They sat there, silently and let Draco collect himself. Finally, Draco was all cried out and he felt tired, so very tired. He just wanted to go back to his apartment and sleep. But he sat there with Ginerva and Luna, because he was not ready to be alone again. They kept holding him in between and talked about nothing and everything, never pressuring Draco to talk. Amidst all of these, Draco felt like he could breathe again and maybe find someone someday who will actually love him. It won’t be Harry of course, but it will be someone who will love him. Who will be soft with him, who will love to see him for all he is, not just his ass. He took a deep breath and asked for his leave when they also got up, paid for everything, Draco had protested, of course, but Ginerva leveled him with a glare that would make Molly Weasley proud. When he started to go to his apartment again, they tagged along, Draco didn’t question, he was glad. Only when he opened the door and saw the state of his apartment, did he recall his outburst. Ginerva just snorted and led him to his couch, wrapped him in a blanket, which he had forgotten he owned and got to work. The two formidable war heroes made their hands dirty to tidy up his apartment. They cleaned everything, restored the sheets, the mattress, put away the broken plates, and fixed the coffee machine. Then they took Draco by the hand and led him to his bedroom. They tucked him in, Draco did not protest because he world take it. Soak it all in because he was again going to be alone from tommowrow. They then freshened up themselves and lied on either side of Draco. Then he got surprised, when he stated to question it, Ginerva said, “Don’t you ever worry about not having friends again. You have us. You will always have us. I know you don’t quite believe me, but I promise, we will earn your trust. No go to sleep. We maybe younger, but we wiped your snot today, so we are technically older from now on.” Draco laughed and cried at the same time and fell into the most wonderful sleep. How could he not? Luna even gave him a good night kiss on his forehead. Draco’s huge king sized bed, the only thing he had splurged on, was full for the first time.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
“What crawled up his ass?” George whispered to Fred on the weekly Sunday dinner table.
“Dunno, he has been in a mood since last week.” Fred replied.
“Anything funny you would like to share with the rest of the table?” Hermione asked pointedly to them. They rolled their eyes at her.
“Don’t you dare roll your eyes at her, you uncouth boys.” Molly thundered.
“Sorry Hermione” They both chirped together and scowled when she smirked.
“So, is there anything you both world like to share?” it was Molly this time.
“No mum” they chirped together again.
Even Harry cracked a smile at this.
“He smiles, oh thank Godric he smiles again.” Ron cried.
“What has gone into everyone?” Harry asked.
“Oh nothing, only how you have been sour since last week. Last Thursday to be precise.” Ron looked at him narrowly. Harry rolled his eyes this time and said, “You’re seeing things, old man.”
The banter carried on, but Harry did not participate. His mind was elsewhere. He could not stop thinking about Draco. Granted he never stopped thinking about that guy, but now it was even more, that was troubling him. He hadn’t expected this. He was standing outside with his whiskey tumbler in hand when he felt her before even seeing her. “Ma, you have to stop trying to sneak up on me.” He smiled at Molly. He had asked Molly tearfully after the war if he could call her Ma, Molly bawled and hugged him, saying he has always been her boy.
She laughed, the sweet sound warming his heart, “Well, I wouldn’t have to if you’d just tell me what happened to my ever smiling boy, who usually has the energy of a puppy on drugs.” Harry guffawed at that comparison and sat at the bench, inviting Molly to sit as well. After some contemplating, he finally said, “Well, I was kind of seeing someone and he suddenly ghosted me. I don’t like it and I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, go talk to the lad then. Better yet, bring him here. Maybe he just needs a hearty meal”
“Food isn’t the solution always, Ma”
“You bet it is. And why don’t you talk to him”
“The relationship was not like that. It started as an arrangement but I had started to think of him as a friend. Apparently he does not, which is why it was so easy for him to shut me out.”
“Are you sure, it not something you did?”
“Yeah, I am fairly certain. I mean, I never crossed the boundaries. I always kept my distance, I never approached him outside of our arrangement and before you, nobody even knew about that.”
“You still don’t see how that might have hurt him”
“But, he didn’t say anything”
“Maybe he did, you did not catch on.”
“I don’t ..”
“Think about it, hon and next Sunday, I would like my boy back please.”
Harry laughed and said, “Well, I will be sure to owl him then, saying his mother has demanded an audience.”
“You do that” Molly ruffled his hair and went back inside. Harry sat there, thinking but everything Molly said, but could not, for the life of him figure out anything.
On a Monday, a few weeks after the dinner, while briefing the junior Aurors, Harry got a call, that one of the dark wizards that the senior Aurors had been searching for has resurfaced and if they don’t move fast, they might lose him again. Thus, Harry cut the meeting short and hurried out to gear up. With his combat gear in place, he went to find Hermione. He found her hunched over innumerable documents at her office in the Wizengamot. He knocked, Hermione looked up and a dark look crossed her face seeing his gear. She came up to, hugged him, patted his cheek and said, “Be careful. Come back to us.” Harry nodded and went on his way.
Harry and his team went inside the abandoned apartment, where the deal between the dark wizard and his handler is supposed to take place. They are silent and deathly together. Harry put up signs with his hands and asked the team to get divided into three groups and search thoroughly. The second Harry’s team found the guy, they stated dueling in earnest. He led the group, however, his team did not need much leading, trained by Harry himself, the four people were ruthless in non-verbal and wandless dueling. In about half an hour the criminal was caught. When they thought that they had won, someone called out Harry’s name and he felt a deathly push square in his chest. He looked down, but could not decipher anything, but there was a piercing pain in his left side, from his shoulder to waist, he collapsed, only then did he realize that he has been hit by a spell that he doesn’t know. He stated gasping for his breath and there were only tow things that were running in his mind like a loop. He was heartbroken by thinking that he wouldn’t be able to see his Ma again and second, he will die, before ever telling Draco that he does this because he loves him and he did not understand that the feeling he felt in his chest and throat and stomach whenever he saw Draco was called love. He will not get to apologize to Draco for making him think unwanted, for making him think that he was Harry’s dirty secret, where in reality, Draco is and always will be his most cherished person. Oh dear lord, he loved Draco, he won’t ever be able to tell him that. He was hyperventilating now, he was having a panic attack now, I mean come on!!! Did the Gods really hate him so much, he slowly accepted his fate and closed his eyes and let himself fly. He will give Draco signs to say that he had loved him. In his lifetime, he had loved Draco. The thought of seeing Draco was his driving force. He lied on top of Draco after coming everytime was not to catch his breath, albeit he pretended to do that. The reason was that he did not want to leave. He will give Draco signs.
Since his big meltdown, Ginny and Luna continue to show up at his apartment every Friday like clockwork. He still didn’t dare anticipate them because he was still scared of getting hurt. They would come, all three of them would drink, Ginny would bring the raunchiest gossip of the entire Wizarding world and they would drink and eat cheap takeaway and fall asleep huddled together in Draco’s big bed. This Friday, however, they are late. Draco is waiting for them and its 10 in the evening when it is clear that they won’t come by. So, they did finally get tired of him. Well, he will survive. He has survived worse. When he is about to go to sleep, he hears a knock. He goes to open it and he sees Ginny standing there with her eyes and nose red, like she has been crying non-stop. Draco’s eyes widened, he pulled her in and asked, “What happened? Do I need to kill anyone? I know loads of potions that don’t come up in the autopsy report. Please, please tell me, Gin, what can I do?”
Only then Ginny whispers three words which makes Draco’s life stop, “Harry’s been hurt.” And she starts crying all over again. “Wh.. wha.. what happened?” Draco can finally muster the courage to ask.
“They don’t know. They don’t know the spell, he has been gasping for air since they brought him in, nothing else, he is not responding to any spells. They don’t know if he will make it.” with that Ginny collapses again crying like a little child. Draco can do nothing but hold him and occasionally stroke her back, because he doesn’t think he will survive if Harry doesn’t. He hasn’t even wondered about the scenario despite Harry being the Head Auror.
"I couldn’t stay there anymore, Mum been like a stone since they brought him in. Hermione’s been coordinating with the healers left and right, but I sat there thinking that any moment the healers will come out and say something bad, I cannot be there for that, I just cannot. Harry is something else you know, he has always been there for me. When we broke up, he never once harbored any bad feelings for me. Till date, whenever I am tensed, I just go to him and sit. Silently. And he has something about him that helps me. I depend on him so much. When Luna and I got together, it was Harry who pushed me into asking her out. He has always been my best friend. What will I do? Oh my god, what will I do?” with that Ginny starts sobbing all over again.
Draco is still sitting there thinking that Harry will die thinking Draco hates him. He did not get the chance to say that he loves Harry. He loves Harry so much that it physically hurts him to contain it within. He will not be able to tell Harry that he wants him to be his boyfriend. That he wants to get a puppy together, that he wants to go to Kilimanjaro with Harry. He will never get a chance to say all of these things and he cannot even grieve because Ginny is grieving. It is his responsibility to support her like she did. He cannot fall apart now. So he sits there holding Ginny while his own heart breaks over and over again.
It’s Narcissa Malfoy who gives the solution to the spell that has been cast on Harry. They have put Harry in a statis so as to not deter him any further while they search for a cure. Hermione has been to every big or small library in Britain asking about a book which has a cure for this spell, but she hasn’t succeeded yet. Suddenly, she thinks of the Malfoy Manor’s library. Thus, here they are, Ron and her, in the same place after five years. Only, the place doesn’t look the same anymore. It looks like something out of an English children’s fairy tale. When they tell Whoolphy to tell Mrs. Malfoy that they are here to seek an audience, they are greeted by the lady of the Manor herself.
“Mrs. and Mr. Granger-Weasley, how may I help you?” she asks pleasantly.
“We need to search the library. Harry’s been hurt you see, but the spell is unknown and we are searching for any document which can help us find the cure. Or even the spell, maybe we will be able to devise a cure ourselves.” Hermione rushes out.
“Dear lord, of course come in, come in.” Narcissa invites them in.
“Can I be notified about the symptoms of the spell so that I can help you in searching?” The husband and wife exchange a look and explain Narcissa the nature of the spell. Her eyes lighten up like she knows exactly what they are talking about. She rushes over to a section, asks Ron’s help to pull out a tome and turns to the specific page. There it is the spell and its cure.
Hermione hugs Narcissa and cries in joy while the three of them together go to the hospital to cure Harry. The spell demands casting from 5 women who love the victim unconditionally. Therefore, the healer had to step aside and the five most formidable women the Wizarding World has seen in a long time join hands to save the Saviour. In the room, Molly, Hermione, Andromeda, Narcissa and Minerva McGonagall cast spell after spell to revive Harry every time he convulses. After a grueling 3 hours, Harry is free of the remnants of the curse and is sleeping under meds. However, when the curse was cast at him, the sheer force had led to him dislocating his shoulder. So, there is only a cast and a sling. Otherwise, he will be fit to go home in 3 days.
It has been another 2 weeks since Ginny had come to Draco tearfully the night Harry had been hurt. They had resumed their routine bur Draco has been too much of a chicken to ask about Harry. It is clear that he lived given how happy both the girls are, but Draco would still like to know details. Thus, he pretends not to notice the pointed looks that Ginny gives him when they talk about Harry and he pretends to appear disinterested. He has drafted almost a thousand letters to Harry asking about his well being but hasn’t been able to send any to him. Out of fear of rejection. Thus, he is here on a Thursday evening restless and about to floo Weasley and Granger to ask about Harry when he hears a thud on this door. He goes and opens the door a sliver, somewhat scared. He sees a mop of unruly hair and immediately opens the door wide. He scans with his eyes to see if Harry is indeed alright. Other than the sling supporting his left shoulder, the guy looks unharmed. And there is a bouquet in his right hand. It is of modest size and has white carnations and white tulips. Those two flowers signify new beginnings, seeking forgiveness and love. And there is Harry Potter in all his glory, his delicious bronze skin and glasses askew and a sheepish smile. Draco stands there unable to say anything, then Harry says, “Mind if I go in and sit down? I am not supposed to put strain on my right hand.”
“Oh my gosh, yes yes, of course please, I am so sorry, I didn’t say sooner, please come in.” Draco ushers him in right on the sofa.
“These are for you.” Harry says giving Draco the flowers.
“Why?” Draco is dumbfounded.
“Well, it took a curse to the chest for me to realize that what I feel when I look at you is not just the need to fuck you all the time. That is there, don’t worry, but that’s not all. You are the driving force behind me getting up every morning because then I get to see you open you shop from the coffee place that I order my morning coffee from. And at lunch time, I again go to see you in your shop and have lunch with you. My time as a Head Auror is so boring, but these little stolen moments with you is what keeps me moving. After I come, the way I lay on you is not because I need to catch my breath, it’s because I loath to leave right then. I don’t undress because I fear, if I do, If I take my time to undress you, caress you and look at you like I want to, I will never leave. I am scared that if I show you my real feelings you will run away like the others. Everyone says I am intense, I agree, I am. But, I can also promise you no one has ever known how to love like I do. So, here I am, sitting here, asking for you to see inside if you can find it in you to forgive me for my stupidity of making you feel unwanted, I would really want a chance with you. A real chance, where I get to take you out on dates, hold your hand, brush you hair, cook for you, bring you flowers and whatever other things that boyfriends do. Did you know I learned to do braid because one day you did it. So I had hoped that you will ask me one day to help you with your hair. But as the idiot I am, I did not realize that for you to ask me these things, I would also have to tell you my feelings. There I was trying to keep my distance by behaving nonchalant while I was just the opposite. I hurt you in the most bad ways doing what I thought was what you wanted. It seems that a spell to your chest clears your head enough to take it out of the ass.” Harry completed laughing.
But Draco sat there looking at Harry in disbelief as he opened his heart out and the only thing he could say is, “When did you have lunch with me?”
Harry cracked a sly smile and said, “Remember Nightshade?”
“THAT’S YOU?” Draco thundered.
Harry cowered and said, “yeah, my animagus. Why?”
“Why wouldn’t you just talk to me? Why are Gryffindor such idiots? I hate you. Oh I hate you so dam much. You made me cry almost every day making me think that I am good for nothing. Do you even have any idea how lonely I am? What did you think that you’d come here waxing poetic and I would fall into your arms and we’ll declare our undying love for each other?” Draco seethed.
“Well, I mean yeah.” Harry shrugged.
“Oh, I cannot believe you!” Draco hurled a cushion at him, which hit him in the shoulder and Harry let out a cry.
In seconds Draco was near him checking to see what damage he had done, and when he realized Harry had pranked him, he stated hitting him in earnest, but minding his injury as well. Then he collapsed into Harry’s lap, crying.
“I thought I lost you.” He said over and over again.
Harry held him with his burly arm and stoked him with all the love that he had for Draco and said, “I am right here you see” he pointed at Draco’s heart. “You could never lose me. I will always be here.” Harry promised and Draco continued to cry. He cried in happiness. His tears washed away all the despair that he had, making space for the all consuming love he had for Harry. They lay in each other’s arms for a while and then Draco looked up, surprised to find tears in Harry’s eyes, “What’s wrong?”
Harry laughed and said, “Nothing’s wrong. Everything is right actually. Everything is right where it is supposed to be.” He dipped his head down and kissed Draco. Draco did not even try to fight; he just held on to Harry and let Harry kiss him. And Harry did kiss him, he poured all the love that he held back on, he poured every bit of devotion into that kiss so that Draco never feels lonely ever again.