But not kiss!

Jake laid in his bed, hugging a worn out stuffed teddy bear against his cheek, the faux fur of the toy rough and tangled against his cheek. He was curled up on his side, the mattress of his bed sinking around him as he lay there in contemplation.

He sat on the edge of his bed, the springs of the mattress creaking faintly under his weight, the sound oddly comforting in the dim solitude of his room. The bear in his arms was tattered and torn, its faux fur rough and matted, yet Jake loved it all the same. It was all he had ever known; the one constant thing in his life that brought him comfort. As he laid there in the dim light, he hugged the toy tighter, relishing in its familiarity.

His hair was still damp from the recent wash, the faint scent of a floral shampoo clung to the locks, soothing his senses. His teeth were brushed, the toothpaste still giving his mouth a lingering freshness. though the events of this past week have been a hell-hole he had this, his bedtime.

And bedtime was so, so relaxing.

His fathers little stuffed bear was held securely to his chest like a lifeline, both of them tucked under the comforter.

He tucked himself into a snug fetal position, his head bowed towards his chest, his chin and the tip of his nose pressed into the aged, frayed fur of the old teddy bear. The familiar scent of something he had owned since he was young still wafted from the toy's matted surface, and he inhaled it deeply, the scent of nostalgia flooding his senses.

He was finally calm, He felt a sense of calm wash over his body. His thoughts danced idly in his mind, He wondered in the back of his mind, If his father was safe, Somewhere, tucked warmly into bed. He pondered if his father was simply on his own, or possibly in the midst of starting a whole new life with a new, happier family.

Jake hoped he was happy, and while he prayed that he missed him just as much as he missed him, he could accept the possibility of her having a whole new life and family elsewhere, if that was what brought him joy after all these years.

For now, He found solace in the simple comfort of the ratty old teddy bear, its soft yet clumped fur grazing lightly against his chin. Its mere presence lulling him into a state of relaxation, making his limbs feel heavy and his breathing grow steady. His eyelids grew heavy, drooping slowly as sleep began to gently take hold, pulling him towards its embrace.

And then, because, of course, he couldn't have anything nice, His momentary peace was shattered with the faint sound of a phone ringing came from under his pillow, the vibration causing him to jolt awake to his senses suddenly. With a rush of dopamine, he fumbled to sit up, reaching under the soft fabric to retrieve his buzzing cellphone. As he brought the device into view, his eyes locked onto the name flashing across the screen,

𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨... 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘧

He paused, Jake had been purposefully avoiding any contact with him, even going so far as to skip classes they both had and sitting as far away as possible if they had to be in class together.

Sure, he'd die every time Drew would stare daggers into his soul, but facing him would be a 'helluva ride.

If Jake had any less self-control He would have thrown the cell—phone across the room, watch it smash against the wall and hear the satisfying crunch of the screen shattering. the phone buzzed, And the name appeared once more, a wave of anger and panic surged through his body. In his half-sleep derillium and panic he just stared at the screen blankly, thumbs hovering over the button with a deep feeling of unease pushing against his insides.

"Ignore it" a voice urged in his head, "Its— almost 3 am you should be sleeping"

"It might be important," another voice argued back, "Drew almost never calls,
Especially this late."

And even though he struggled with thinking of any reasonable reason why he would be calling him specifically, he still took a deep breath and pressed the answer call button, holding the phone tightly against his ear. The nauseous feeling rose higher in his stomach, his anxieties getting the best of him.

"Hello?" Drew's quiet voice made his chest tighten.

Jake sat up rigidly, stuffed bear lying by his side. The comforter was still tucked loosely over his lap. "Uh, hey," he mumbled swallowing hardly.

"Hi jake," drew's sleep induced voice raised in volume and then quieted, "sorry For calling so late, i was busy all afternoon with family gatherings."

He sounded exhausted too, like he was slumped over, eyes half open.

Jake folded his legs, Shivering with the feeling of drew's voice so close to his ear,
"uh, no, it's okay, it's fine." he said biting at the skin around his thumbnail.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, as drew seemed to hesitate, unsure of what to say. Finally, after a long pause, he spoke up, his voice tentative and tinged with slight guilt. "Were you sleeping?" he asked, a hint of shame in his words.

Jake's vision focused on the blanket, his weary eyes seeking relief from the fatigue. The soft fabric under his fingers was a subtle comfort as he softly muttered, "No," he averted his glare, "not yet." He was damn close enough.

He heard a soft hum from the other end, accompanied by the sound of fabric rustling and a faint creak, as if drew was adjusting his position in bed. In his half-awake state, he pondered if the magenta-haired boy had settled down in his own bed, mirroring his action.

"Are you still up for tomorrow? At your house? Just want to make sure we are on the same page"  Jake's eyes narrowed, his eyebrows drawing together tightly. His features hardened, a look of confusion etched across his face. Then, a sudden moment of shock twisted his expression suddenly into one of realization. That's right, Him and Drew had plans for tomorrow. "oh yeah! yeah that.." His words spilled out in a nervous babble, his mind grasping at anything that sounded normal. He fidgeted with his finger nails, biting down hard on them with a mix of anxiety and habit.

"You don't have to..," jake slurred his words curling his fingers on the blanket "if you don't want to."

Truthfully, all he wanted was for everything to run smoothly. Whichever outcome would keep drew comfortable, and himself not wanting to rip his eyes out was the best thing he could ask for.

"Oh" the boy's voice rang out, "no, it's not like that. I just wanna know whether or not your mom was actually expecting me or if she was just- uh, doing mom stuff, you know?"

Jake didn't know. In fact, he had no idea what Drew was talking about in the slightest. "No," he said, voice vibrating of his palm "no, she's um, expecting you."

"Cool," Drew chuckled softly, "tomorrow it is then."

Afterward, the line was quiet and the blonde's fingers twitched with anxiety, not sure on what to say.

"Im actually pretty excited," Drew's voice came again, slightly louder this time.

Jakes tounge darted to lick his lips gently "You are?" He asked hopefully, not understanding why Drew would ever be excited to be alone in his house.

"Yeah, man," Drew hummed and the blonde heard the sound of fabric shift again, "we've barely gotten to go to your house before now. It's exciting."

"Should i bring anything?" He asked somewhat softly.

Jake couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling nervous, too. Was there a flutter of anxiety in his stomach, as if a swarm of butterflies had taken up residence? And was there an ache, a tightness forming in his throat, as if his body was preparing itself for a deep, heartfelt conversation?

"Just you," he mumbled, breathing out warm air into the chilly room.

"Uh huh.. " the other voice reclaimed.
A few seconds of an awkward Silence lingered on the voice call, before drew broke it once more.

"Jake, could you promise me something?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Start being more honest with me," Drew's voice seemed serious, as if he genuinely ment it.

"Well.. i should go to sleep now! Um.. goodnight!" He ushered a sappy reply, a pathetic desperate avoidance of Drew's observation.

"But—" Jake quickly ended the call, a drop of sweat trickling down his forehead. He winced at the sound of Drew's voice, coming through the phone's speaker in a feeble attempt to be heard.

He sucked in a sharp breath, the air felt stifling and hot, as he placed his hands on his thighs, trying to calm his racing heart. His clothes were clinging to his body, drenched in sweat and sticking uncomfortably to his body.

Disgusting, he felt, disgusting, he looked disgusting, Henry would probably joke about him looking like a wet sewer rat.

"JAKE!, GET DOWN HERE!" Milos scrutinizing voice Echoed from down stairs

"What the fuck, do you want" Jake cautiously descended the stairs, his hand gripping the railing, its wood creaking softly under his touch. He rolled his eyes and pursed his lips in mild annoyance, each step bringing him closer to the bottom without a sound.

"Mom said you have to make me chicken nuggets," milo

"It's 4 in the morning.."Jake walked over to the Open pantry softly pouring some oil into the pan and turned up the temperature. He looked over his shoulder at Milo with lidded eyes.

"So? Can't an alpha enjoy a meal?" Milo enunciated, leaning against the kitchen table, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. He crossed his arms and placed a hand on his hip, his face crumpling in a frown.

"Don't call yourself that..." Jake pinched the bridge of his nose, his frustration evident as he opened the freezer and pulled out a container of raw, uncooked nuggets. He slammed them down onto the counter with a sigh, his irritation mounting as he contemplated the thought of having to cook them for milo, maybe he should eat it himself.

"Whatever!" Milo angrily stomped away, clutching his iPad tight in his hand. He defiantly plopped down onto the carpet, kicking his feet from behind as he opened his iPad with a huff.

Once he placed the food on the kitchen table, jake walked up the stairs tiptoeing into his room, closing it gently with a trembling hand, sitting on the bed untill he heard a small vibration from his phone, looking behind him to see the phones screen Jake glared at it tentatively from across the room, something uncertain brimming in his eyes, hell, what was the point of picking it back up anyway?

"Memories from march 4th last year..."

'Huh', he thought, 'it wouldn't hurt to take a peek at it, right?'

Well actually it hurt, a lot.

He stared at the photo, feeling his heart skip a beat as his gaze lingered on Drew's laughing face pressed against his shoulder. Henry and Liam were goofing off in the background, oblivious to the ache that clutched his chest during that time. He couldn't help but linger on the way Drew's pink lips curled upwards, and the way his face was nestled against his shoulder. It was a moment he wished he could go back in time, a snapshot of pure happiness that now seemed all too distant. As he looked at the photo, he couldn't help but feel a pang of longing for one of those carefree days.

Despite Jake's best efforts to convince himself otherwise, deep down he knew the truth: he missed Drew. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he couldn't shake off the ache in his heart that longed for him. It was Drew who had accepted him for who he was, flaws and all, and that meant more to him than he cared to admit. He tried to tell himself that Drew was toxic, that he was better off without him, but the truth was that he needed him bad, and that realization was just as painful as a gun to the head.

He wasn't prepared to face drew at all, not tomorrow not today not any other day, looking into his dark chestnut eyes would send him through hell n' back.

Jake crumpled onto the cold floor, his back against the door, and covered his face with his hands as the sobs wracked his body. It was as if a dam had broken inside him, and all the pent-up emotions had come flooding out. He couldn't control the torrent of tears that streamed down his face, as his body shook with every sob that escaped his lips,  Jake wrapped his arms around himself tightly, his fingers involuntarily running through his damp hair as his sobbing grew louder and more ragged. He felt like he was drowning in his own emotions, and the harder he tried to steady his breathing, the more out of control he felt. It was as if his body was betraying him, with tears streaming down his face and his heart pounding in his chest.

Jake ignored the need to bang his head against the wall with full force and let his brains spill out on the tiled floor, the need to just bury himself deep in a whole and to be forgotten by the rest of the human civilization.

But whatever, he was too far down to just turn away and hug drew with loving arms,

shoes squeaked against the filthy linoleum floor of the boy's bathroom as he shuffled towards the sink. He huffed and shook his head trying to calm himself Down, jake met his own eyes in the reflection, and for a moment faintly heard Drew's gentle voice in the air of his thoughts.

"Start being more honest with me,"

A bittersweet pain, he suffered within,
Each push he gave, drew away his friend.
He knew it was valid, this strife so unkind.
For a friend's embrace, a safe space, should have been found

His passion deep, in music, things he found delight in.
But drews lack of understanding left him in strife

And each time he pushed his friend away, a piece of his heart did break,
For he longed to share his joy, yet his friend's disapproval just wouldn't fade away.

__

His eyebrows creased whilst watching drew walk off into the crowded hallway. His neck strained as he stared over his shoulder at the back of Drew's head.

For a moment he considered calling out his name. Maybe Drew would be willing to walk with him. Drew did say that if he needed a friend, he'd be there

Before  he could make up his mind, he collided with Hailey's back. Apparently, she had stopped walking.

"Jake, you good?" Hailey exclaimed with slightly widened eyes, watching as jake stumbled backwards into sean and milly.

Jake adjusted his jacket with a nod and mumbled to the two standing behind him.

"Yeah," he said, separating his wispy bangs "im fine, im sorry."

Hailey's eyebrow twitched upwards with a small smile stretching her lips. "Daydreaming again, huh?" She asked, eyes crinkling as she laughed.

Jake laughed back and his voice was calm and clear as he began walking beside Hailey again, "Not quite," he answered vaguely, not wanting to give away the whole situation with Drew.

Hailey was one of his best friends, but jake wasn't sure she would understand the whole situation between himself, plus it was better set in private rather than aired out to hailey.

"How mysterious," Milly snickered softly, shaking a hand through her mess of hot pink box dyed hair.

Jake smile one again as milly leaned her elbow on his sleeved shoulder, raising a playful eyebrow at him.

"Jake's a mysterious dude," sean shrugged nonchalantly beside jake, shaking his head with a hearty laugh, he ruffled the shorter boys hair.

"Am i?" The curious voice in his head inquired. Jake didn't think there was much mystery about him. Anything that you could possibly want to know about him was something he'd tell you if you asked him polite enough

Well everything except for secret promises that were between him and drew.

Jake was sincere, and he wasn't going to tell someone about something that he wasn't specifically told not to talk about.

If anyone was mysterious it was drew. Yesterday on the phone call, he genuinely seemed concerned, only to be the same stubborn dull hearted person he's always been the day after, it didn't take an incredibly intelligent mind to figure out that some of the cold-ness must have been a projection.

"Hey, Hails?" He blurted out, snapping back to his senses. His heart beating faster than usual at the realization that he was keeping a secret from one of his closest friend.

Hailey tilted her head towards him, hands fidgeting with the spare coins in he pockets, "Yeah?" She smiled with a small twinkle in her eyes.

"Were heading this way," zander jabbed his thumb to the left, towards the perpendicular hallway. He stopped walking, standing firmly with a hand on his backpack strap while Luke stood besides him.

"Okay, see you later!"

Hailey, Sean, and Milly gave their respective goodbyes to them, and zander headed off to class.

Hailey readjusted her book bag and glanced as jake picked at his cuticles with his anxious fingers, "What's up?" She pried, knowing that he had something he wanted to say.

Jakes eyes shifted up at her and Hailey saw something unidentifiable in them. "If you knew someone that didn't really like your passion because they— well—" he shook his head, trying not to make it extremely obvious he was talking about Drew, "Because they were possessive," he settled on the words, "What would you do to make them come around?"

"Possessive..." Hailey echoed, leaning her head back in thought. One hand came out of her pocket to hold her chin. She hummed for a moment, brows furrowed. "Well... I'd probably talk to someone about it, And try to avoid miscommunication, "

Jake looked down at his vans and nodded. Well, speaking to Drew didn't seem like a viable option, but talking to someone was certainly something he could do.

"What do you think?" Hailey mumbled to sean, who raised his eyebrows inquisitively at the question.

"I don't know," he thought about it for a moment, glancing away, "I'd try to make them feel less alone," Sean continued, "if someones possessive, Its most likely because they have no one else to talk to."

Jake's brown eyes crinkled. That didn't sound right. Drew was pretty sociable and had lots of  other friends, More than he could count on his hands, So him being lonely seemed highly unlikely.

"Why do you ask? Hailey teased with a smile once again, "Is someone bothering you?"

Jake let out an awkward laugh his voice slightly unsteady "its nothing much."

It was official, step one in project drew was in motion.