It Wasn't Funny

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
G
It Wasn't Funny
Summary
“Draco Malfoy is a git, but he didn’t deserve to be transfigured into something he’s not against his will.”“You’re mental, mate,” Ron responds to the words Harry had buried in his gut until now, to keep his sympathy for the Slytherins hidden. “I would’ve given anything to see Malfoy bouncing in the air as a ferret.”Harry would have given several things for it to have never happened, but who’s asking him?
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Chapter 1

Harry stands alone in the courtyard, the school turned against him, and Hermione elsewhere with Ron, who still isn’t talking to him. 

 

Harry stands alone in the courtyard, defending his heart from the insults Malfoy shouts down at him from a tree, the dramatic git.

 

Harry stands alone in the courtyard, but he can hear Professor Moody tromping over. He turns to see him raise his wand to cast near Harry, and he ducks aside in time to realize he aimed behind Harry, and not at him.

 

Professor Moody stands by Harry in the courtyard, and Draco Malfoy is a ferret, being flung around in the air by their DADA professor. Harry wishes he was still alone.

 

Cries of horror and disbelief sound from Malfoy’s Slytherin allies, and Harry’s would join them if the blood in his veins hadn’t frozen. Either Crabbe or Goyle is reaching out to try and scoop Malfoy out of the air – Harry only notices a meaty hand, and can’t focus his eyes anywhere more than a foot away from the blurry white fur still bouncing up and down at Professor Moody’s whim.

 

Harry thinks he hears people laughing, too, but he can’t be too sure. Malfoy’s scared chittering reminds him too much of Harry’s own quietly terrified whines, which he made in the corner of his cupboard as he tried to stay out of sight and out of mind.

 

“Professor Moody!?” Shouts Professor McGonagall, and Harry almost collapses with relief. “Is that – is that a student?” She stutters her inquiry, jaw near-slack. Moody doesn’t look at her.

 

“Technically, it’s a ferret.” And he continues his punishment. 

 

“Professor Moody, we do not use transfiguration on students, ever.”  The world begins to seem a little clearer to Harry, now that his head of house has intervened. 

 

He takes in the bigger group that has gathered around the scene, mostly of Cedric and the Hufflepuffs who proclaim their support for him in the Triwizard Tournament most loudly. Their faces are joyful, red from their cheer, and now that Harry can move again he feels like vomiting. These… these are all 6th and 7th years laughing at the misery of students the same age as Harry. 

 

At least Professor Moody no longer has his wand trained on Malfoy, cruel as his decision was to set his small, vulnerable body inside the clothes of his peers. Harry goes back to staring at Malfoy, completely missing the wink Moody tries to throw him.

 

When Professor McGonagall restores Malfoy to his human form, Harry swallows the salvia that had been gathering in his mouth and turns away. He hears Malfoy scramble to stand in the leaves littering the grounds, and run from his transgressor after blurting, “My father will hear about this!” Harry uses the chaos that follows the statement to escape.

 

He’s suddenly glad Ron’s rat turned out to be Pettigrew, because the stupid thing was always lazing about in their dorm when his secret had been yet to be uncovered, and Harry didn’t know if he would react so well to seeing another rodent within a day or two of Malfoy’s transfiguration. Now, the only living thing that resides in his year’s dorms are the dozen plants that Neville raises. 

 

With no one around to comment, Harry flops face first onto his bed, barely sparing a thought to magically close his curtains and sheathe him in total darkness, and lets himself tremble.

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