Moth to a Flame
The schedule was simple. They had four days in every location. A concert on the first night, a concert on the third night, and the rest of the days were used for interviews, publicity stunts, and relaxation. They arrived, exhausted from the plane ride, in Ontario, Canada. Most everyone got their own rooms, except Barty and Evan, who had volunteered to room together for the entire tour, much to Regulus’s surprise.
The hotel was nice, and probably more expensive than Regulus could afford. He set down his suitcase on the soft green carpet before collapsing onto the bed. He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes, sinking into the bed.
The first concert was tonight. That was strange to think about. It had only been a couple months since he had accepted the offer. Only a couple months since he saw Sirius again. Only a couple months since he met James, the boy who stole his brother away.
There was that pounding again in his chest, his heart racing. Regulus pressed a hand to his chest and breathed deeply. It was so strange, that racing, which occurred every time James entered his mind. He wasn’t stupid enough to truly not understand what the pounding signified, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around it. Romance was portrayed in every aspect of the media, but there was a bond, a sort of affection there that Regulus couldn’t fathom possessing. Especially not with James, who Regulus had hated before he ever had the misfortune of seeing him smile.
Regulus hadn’t realized that he was dozing off until he woke up three hours later, with a text from Barty on his phone.
‘Where tf r u???? Soundcheck????’
“Fuck,” Regulus mumbled, pulling himself out of bed. He pulled out an outfit from one of his suitcases. That suitcase he only used for his concert outfits. He picked out a black crop-top and ripped black jeans, with Doc Martens and a black choker. He looked at himself in the tall mirror, running a hand through his curls, and smiled. He felt good.
Regulus showed up twenty-five minutes into the soundcheck, feeling dread build up in his throat. He wasn’t often late to events, forcing himself into a habit of punctuality. As he stepped onto the stage he heard Barty, Dorcas and Evan playing one of their songs while Pandora stood by Evan’s drum set. It wasn’t one that they would be playing tonight, but it worked well enough for a soundcheck. Barty was the first to notice Regulus’s presence, glancing over suddenly as he played, grinning.
“Glad you could join us, Reg,” Barty grinned, his abnormally sharp canines glinting. He was wearing a torn black Led Zeppelin shirt, black jeans, and fingerless gloves. He had his septum ring in. Barty had always thought they looked cool.
“Fuck off, Crouch,” Regulus deadpanned, his gaze cold as he walked confidently out onto the stage, picking up the microphone. “Let’s do a run-through of our setlist, shall we?” Regulus looked around at his friends who nodded. Pandora smiled and stepped towards her keyboard. She didn’t play on every song, but she took part in dozens of different instruments, depending on the song. Evan started counting them off, clicking his sticks together, and Regulus smiled.
There were more people than Regulus expected at the concert. That was probably stupid, considering the popularity of the Marauders, but still, Regulus felt the pressure rise. They had decided to stick with some of their older songs for the first couple concerts, not wanting to take a chance by playing their newer songs that they hadn’t known as well.
Regulus heard his cue, and took a deep breath, before strutting out onto the stage, grabbing his microphone. “Good evening, Ontario!” Regulus shouted, leading to applause and cheers from the audience. Regulus smiled at the validation. “We know you’re all looking forward to seeing the Marauders, and they’ll be here soon, but for now, we are Serpentine!” More applause, more cheers. Evan counted them off, and Pandora started playing, the piano notes meshing with Barty’s guitar and Dorcas’s bass.
“David has a bachelor’s and master’s degree,” Regulus sang softly into the mic. “David’s married soon to have a family of three. David makes six figures, and what about me? Yeah, call me a wannabe.”
Regulus lifted his mic from the stand walking slowly across the stage as he kept singing. “Mom says ‘ditch the hobbies, find a job to pursue’.” he leaned the mic into Dorcas so that she could sing the last part with him. Regulus strutted, quicker now, to Barty. “Dad says ‘don’t go chasing dreams if you can’t go through’.” Regulus turned away from Barty, towards the audience. “‘David couldn’t do it, so neither can you,” Regulus sang with both Barty and Dorcas, as Regulus walked forward into the center of the stage. “Now I’ve got something to prove!” Regulus belted, as he went into the chorus.
“‘Cause I’m so sick of “second best”
I’m so sick of “not impressed”
This family’s obsessed
With validation
And reputation”
“American dream,” Regulus sang, the rest of the band singing the same line quietly in the background.
“Tell me what’s the price of perfection?
Tell me why I crave your affection
When excellence is expected
Praise is a luxury.”
Regulus started walking again, pacing slowly across the stage.
“American dream
Why do my achievements define me?
Why does life feel so damn confining
When success is respected
There’s no room for mediocrity.”
Regulus tapped the beat gently on his thigh, as he hummed quietly, inhaling deeply before the start of the second verse.
“I overcompensate in everything that I do
I bring home all the trophies that I won just for you
You see a starving musician
In debt from tuition
I’m never enough for you!” Regulus sang loudly, tears filling his eyes. It was part of the act, but that didn’t change the built up emotion. He could still feel how angry he was when he wrote the song, when he was around seventeen, desperate for his parents’ approval.
“‘Cause I’m so sick of being stressed
Working hard at your request
This family’s obsessed
With validation
And reputation.”
Regulus inhaled softly as he sang the chorus again, soft and hurting this time. He ran through the chorus, before humming softly with the melody. He could hear the different instruments Pandora had changed her keyboard to. She was always quiet and flawless about changing it, so it wasn’t surprising that he hadn’t even noticed when she had changed the sound to a saxophone. Regulus could hear his bandmates singing the chorus behind him as Regulus just breathed quietly, and dramatically, preserving his showmanship until it was time for him to run through the chorus once more. The song ended on Regulus humming softly into the microphone.
He didn’t expect the applause that met the end of the song, but he accepted it with a smile. That really set the theme for the rest of their songs. They sang confidently, and were bet with hammering applause. They ran through their songs confidently before Regulus raised a hand. “Thank you, Ontario, and give it up for the Marauders!” That was graced with even more applause as Regulus and the band walked off stage, smiling out at the audience.
Regulus exhaled sharply as he stepped off stage, before collapsing into Barty, who wrapped his arms around Regulus. He was used to Regulus after concerts, exhausted and light-headed. He would usually either laugh hysterically, or cry.
“You want to come to our room?” Barty asked softly. Regulus nodded into Barty’s chest. For as shitty as they often were to each other, Barty was the best friend that Regulus could ask for, always there to comfort Regulus, or make him smile. Regulus appreciated that.
Regulus heard Barty and Evan say goodnight to Dorcas and Pandora, Evan taking a minute to hug his sister. Evan and Barty escorted Regulus up to their room. Regulus liked to just sit with them and watch stupid movies after concerts. It made him feel safe and comfortable after putting himself out into the world.
Barty and Evan sat with Regulus and watched Happy Gilmore in their hotel room after giving Regulus a t-shirt and hoodie. It wasn’t Regulus’s favorite, but Barty liked it and Regulus appreciated stupid humor after concerts. After the movie, Regulus excused himself to go to his own room. He was tired and as much as he loved watching movies with his friends, he wanted to sleep.
Regulus collapsed into his bed the minute he got into his hotel room. He turned off the lights and curled into his blankets, quickly falling asleep.
Regulus woke up to knocking on his door, pulling himself from the now messy bed with a groan. He answered the door with a glare, his hair still mussed from sleep. “What do you want?”
He blinked the sleep from his eyes seeing James grinning sheepishly, his brow glistening from sweat. “Um, is it a bad time?” Regulus felt his cheeks flush. He suddenly felt self-conscious of his tangled, sleep-mussed curls, and oversized hoodie, hanging off one shoulder.
“I was sleeping,” Regulus mumbled, staring at the floor. “How did the concert go?”
James grinned. “Good. Um, we just finished cleaning up. I thought I’d stop by and say that you… you were fucking fantastic. I mean, your singing was incredible, and your lyrics… you write your own songs, right?” Regulus nodded. James grinned. “I can tell. You were really incredible.”
Regulus froze for a moment, unsure of what to do with the praise, only letting out a small, rude sounding, “Is that all?”
James shook his head. “You… I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel drawn to you. You shine so bright, and I’m pulled in, like a moth to a flame.”
Regulus almost laughed. James was a romantic. Of course he was. “You don’t even know me.”
James grinned. “You’re right. I don’t. But I’d like to.” James ran a hand through his hair as a flush lit up his face, a warm blush on brown skin. “There’s a bar near here. They do karaoke, and I think it’d be fun. Um, would you like to go with me? Tomorrow night? We can meet in the lobby?”
Regulus should’ve said no. He shouldn’t have fallen for the same tricks that Sirius had, leaning into that warm smile, and kind eyes. He should’ve told James to fuck off. That would’ve been rational. That would’ve made sense. But he didn’t say no. He simply nodded breathlessly, his lips parted. He could feel the flush of his cheeks.
James grinned. “Good night, Regulus.” James walked away, leaving Regulus breathless in his wake. He could understand why Sirius had chosen James now. Why his brother had left him for this boy.
Because James was the sun, and everyone was drawn into his orbit, and Regulus was a moth, being pulled into the flames, but he had never been quite so happy to burn.