Narcissa sighed, breathing in the warm steam as she closed her eyes and let the hot water run across the front of her body. She really should have worn an extra layer beneath her robes. She’d just wanted to get in the air as fast as possible and hadn’t given the winter chill much thought.
She leaned forward, letting the water drum down on her head. Flying hadn’t done anything to distract her the way she’d hoped it would. No matter how fast she flew or how many laps she did, all she could think about was that moment in potions.
Narcissa swallowed, parting her lips as water trickled over them. She breathed in. Why couldn’t she stop? She breathed out. Why was this happening?
***
“I trust you and Miss Fortescue can clean your station without me? I have a meeting with Professor Sprout in a few minutes that I absolutely cannot miss.”
Narcissa nodded as she placed the vial of strengthening solution on the fifth-years shelf. It was her fault they’d fallen behind today. She spent far too much time talking to Alice and nowhere near enough reading the instructions.
Again.
“Of course, Professor.” Narcissa turned to face Slughorn, who was already halfway out the door and smiled politely. “We’ll be out of here as quickly as we can, I’m sorry about the delay in our brewing.”
Slughorn waved his hand, “No need to apologise Miss Black, I’m sure your potion will make up for it.”
“Thank you, sir. I hope so.”
“I have faith,” Slughorn replied as he made his exit. “Please remember to close the classroom.”
“Yes, Professor.”
Narcissa pursed her lips as she turned back around, making her way toward their station where Alice was already collecting all their unused ingredients. Her stomach twisted.
“Hey I’m really sorry about this, I can finish myself if you want to leave. It’s my fault we ran late.”
Alice smirked as she looked up, rolling her eyes. “I’m pretty sure it takes two to have a distracting conversation.”
“Yes, but I did most of the talking and-”
“-and I did most of the listening.” Alice held out two bottles. “Take these for me?”
Narcissa grabbed them. “Are you sure?”
Alice chuckled, pulling back and picking up a few of her own bottles.
“You really thought I’d run off and leave it all up to you?”
“Well, you do have that Thestral essay due tomorrow, and I know you haven’t finished yet.”
“Ughhh, don’t remind me,” Alice groaned and started leading them toward the storeroom. “I don’t know how Kettleburn expects us to write so many inches on them. There really isn’t that much information out there.”
“Maybe he thinks they’ll be in the OWLs?”
“Or he just wants to torture us,” Alice mumbled as she backed into the door, pushing it open as she kept her bottles crossed in her arms. “After you.”
“Thanks,” Narcissa said, slipping passed her toward the insect section. The door banged shut and she could hear Alice fussing about in the blood area. She shelved her bottles quickly and turned to see the other girl still holding on of hers, head tilted, scanning the cabinets.
Merlin she’s useless
“Need a hand?”
Alice sighed, “Where does the Salamander blood go again? I wish he would just store it in alphabetical order like a normal person.”
“Top shelf,” Narcissa chuckled, walking up beside her and pointing toward the left end. “See? Just beside the Crup blood.”
Alice pursed her lips as she looked up to where she was referring to, and Narcissa’s grin widened. “Do you need help reaching that high?”
“Oh shut it,” Alice snorted. “I can do it myself, just you watch.”
“Hmm,” Narcissa stepped back, raising her arms in surrender. “I’m watching.”
Alice shot her a dirty look, but Narcissa could see her lips curling up at the corners. It wasn’t like she was excessively short, but Narcissa was rather tall and enjoyed teasing her about their difference in stature. She was pretty sure Alice didn’t mind. Much.
Narcissa crossed her arms, grinning as Alice gripped the bottle in one hand and reached up with the other, grabbing one of the upper shelves. It didn’t look comfortable, but she did seem to be managing. She lifted one foot, placing it on one of the shelves, stepping up to match Narcissa height and-
“Help me!”
Shit
Alice started slip back and Narcissa dashed forward. She reached out, grabbing Alices waist and bracing to keep her up.
“Are you right?”
“Fuck,” Alice breathed, relaxing against Narcissa’s hands. “Thanks.”
“Just put the bottle away before you fall to your death.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Narcissa’s face warmed and Alice stretched up to put the blood in its place. Her back tensed under her hands and-
Shit
Narcissa’s face burned.
Hurry up
“Are you done?”
“What?” Alice glanced over her shoulder, smirking. She let go of the shelves, letting her back press against Narcissa’s chest, placing her hand over one Narcissa’s.
Narcissa swallowed as their eyes locked. Grey eyes meeting brown.
“You tired?”
Her stomach swooped and her grip tightened around Alice.
“No I… I just…”
Alice raised an eyebrow, “You just?”
“I just… um…”
Narcissa breathed in, her eyes darting down to Alices parted lips. They looked so soft. It was no wonder so many boys chased after her. Narcissa considered what it would be like to press her own lips against them. Feel just how soft they were…
“I…”
Alices hand slid down the back of hers, her fingers tightening around her wrist. Narcissa’s eyes flicked back up, and she suddenly realised their faces had gotten closer. So close she could see the freckles on her nose, make out the little green specks of colour she’d never noticed in her eyes before.
“Come on, Black.”
Narcissa swallowed as Alices breath brushed against hers. Her eyes darted back down. Merlin. Her stomach fluttered and she licked her lips. Alice giggled and a shiver shot down her spine at the sound.
“Hmm?” Narcissa’s face burned. “Cissa?”
Her breath hitched and her hear raced as Alices lips moved, her name coming out of them. She let her hands slip further around her, her fingers curling around Alices middle as she leaned closer… tilting her head… her eyes fluttering closed…
“I just…” but she was cut off as warm, soft lips crashed into hers. Time stood still as Narcissa melted into Alice, their lips dancing together. She was sweet. So sweet.
She moved closer, her fingertips meeting, curling around each other as she leaned further forward, pulling Alice into her.
So sweet… so soft…
Alice twisted and Narcissa loosened her arms to let her spin. Their chests met and Narcissa tightened them again as Alices slipped around her. Her heart beat with hers. Their lips moved in sync. It felt so-
SMASH!
Narcissa’s eyes shot open and… fuck… she pushed Alice back into the shelves, pressing her hands into her middle, separating them as she stepped back, glass crunching beneath her shoes. Alices eyes widened, as Narcissa slipped out of her reach, her lips red and swollen, her brows knitting together.
“Cissa?”
Narcissa stepped back again, letting Alice step down and yanking her hands back to herself.
What did I just…
“I-I have to…” Narcissa blinked. Alice shrinking as she backed away. “I have to go…”
Narcissa shook her head, letting her eyes drop down at the bloody, glassy floor between them. She had to leave. This wasn’t… She couldn’t do this… She looked up at Alice and kept moving away. Her face was all screwed up. Her cheeks were red.
She’s angry… I’ve ruined things… Why did I just…
Narcissa ran.
***
Narcissa groaned, closing her eyes as she pressed her forehead against the cool tiles, letting the warm water stream down her back. Focusing on the way it tapped against her skin, the contrast between hard water and soft steam.
What was I thinking…
She messed everything up and Alice was going to never want to keep being her friend. Hell, she probably wasn’t even going to want to be around her. Alice was just friendly. She was kind and funny and caring and… and the best friend she’d ever had and… then she had to go and get all these stupid queer feelings…
Narcissa shut off the water, opening her eyes and stepping back.
“Get a grip, Black…”
She wrapped her hands around her hair, ringing out the excess water and letting her down against her back. Grabbing her towel, Narcissa wrapped it round her body and started patting herself dry. She worked down from her shoulders to legs, ignoring the cold, prickling chill and when the moisture was gone from her skin, she dropped the towel.
She pulled up her skirt, fastening the buttons and slipped into her bra. Narcissa grabbed her brush and unlocked the cubical door, stepping into the empty change room as she started detangling her hair.
It wasn’t overly knotted, and the brush slipped through easily. The bristles scratching her scalp as she slowly paced in circles. It didn’t do anything for her mind. She could still feel Alices lips. Her waist in her hands. Her chest against hers…
“Merlin…”
Narcissa’s brush clattered to the floor as she pressed her palms into her eyes, trying to force the memories out of her head. Why couldn’t they leave her alone? She never asked for this. She never asked to feel this way.
She slid her hands down her face, breathing in as she opened her eyes and stared up at the old ceiling. The ceiling stared back. Narcissa groaned, and her knees buckled as she collapsed back onto one of the benches.
I have to get it together. I have to-
“Narcissa?”
Narcissa jumped her, twisting toward the door where the voice had come… from… shit…
She froze as her eyes landed on the one person in the whole castle, she wanted to see both least and most. Alice. Narcissa swallowed. She opened her mouth to say something. Apologise, beg for forgiveness, anything that might help the situation, but no words came out. No sound came out at all. She just stood there gaping.
Alice didn’t seem to share her inhibitions. She walked closer, shortening the space between them. Waving her hands everyone as she spoke rapidly.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Please listen to me. We need to talk about-”
Just as Alice was about to get in arms reach, Narcissa stepped back, holding out her hands and shaking her head.
“No. No we don’t need to talk. I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”
Alice stopped, her hands pausing mid-air, her eyes widening, and her mouth forming a little circle. Narcissa put her hands on her hips and turned around, so she didn’t have to see Alices expression.
“Please don’t tell anyone. I didn’t mean it and… and I just got confused alright? It was nothing. I’m sorry.”
Narcissa held her breath, waiting for an answer. She needed to know what Alice was going to do. Would she yell? Call her names? She couldn’t be sure. She was such a nice person but… but she had no idea where her thoughts were on this sort of thing. She was a pureblood too; it was more than likely she was brought up with the same beliefs.
“A mistake?”
“Yes.”
“You… you didn’t mean it?”
Of course, I meant it…
Narcissa shook her head, screwing up her face and squeezing her eyes together so tightly they hurt. Sucking in a shallow, shuddering breath as she forced her emotions to stay contained. She was not a crier. She was not weak. She was not a slave to her feelings.
“No, of c-course not.”
Silence.
Narcissa mentally cursed herself for stuttering and bit her lip to stop herself from saying anything else. If she spoke, she’d only dig herself a deeper hole. So she waited. She waited for Alice to respond. Let out a sigh with relief, thank Merlin it was a misunderstanding. Or call her out, bullshit you’re a dirty queer. But… neither of those things happened.
As a tear worked its way out onto Narcissa’s face and began rolling down her cheek, something grabbed her left hand. Someone grabbed her left hand. Someone’s hand grabbed left hand.
It was small, and soft, and she knew that touch anyone.
“Alice I just-”
Narcissa inhaled sharply as Alice pulled her hand from her hip and tugged, spinning her back around. She kept her eyes shut and swallowed, conscious of the damp trail down her face.
“Cissa… please… look at me…”
Her voice was soft, full of the warmth and kindness it always held. But Narcissa shook her head, refusing to heed her instructions. She couldn’t face her.
“I’m sorry Alice. It was nothing. Please just forget it ever-”
Narcissa was cut off once more and she gasped as a soft hand, gently cupped her cheek. The one her tear had fallen down.
Stop… please stop… you’re making this harder…
She couldn’t help it. Another tear escaped. It didn’t trickle far before pooling around the tips of Alices fingers.
“I’m sorry…” she breathed, trying her best to keep her voice steady. “I’m so sorry…”
Another tear fell, this time from the other eye and Narcissa grit her teeth. Why was her body doing this? How could it betray her? She wasn’t supposed to act this way. Blacks weren’t supposed to act this way.
The hand on hers dropped away and Narcissa almost sighed a breath of relief, thinking Alice was going to leave her. But she didn’t. Instead Narcissa gasped, as the warm hand cupped her other cheek, concealing her stray tear.
Another two escaped, trying to replace them both. She squeezed her eyes even tighter, trying to stop more from coming as her throat began to sting and her breaths became impossible to control.
I’ve messed everything up…
Narcissa tried to resist. She tried with every fibre of her being to stop herself from placing her hands over Alices. She failed, and their hands met. Narcissa shivered at the contact. Her heart raced and she was certain her face was going red if it wasn’t already.
“Please forgive me… I didn’t mean it… Just leave me and I’ll leave you… I’m sorry for what I-”
“Narcissa stop.”
Narcissa stopped. Merlin… This was it…
“Look at me.”
Narcissa breathed in. I’m sorry. She relaxed her eyes and slowly, let them open to reveal the blurry shape of Alices face looking up at her. She opened her mouth to speak again, but Alice beat her to it.
“I meant it…”
What?
Narcissa blinked, the wall of watery glass clearing enough for her to realise that… Alice was crying too…
“Cissa please just…” her voice cracked. “Just look me in the eye and… and say you didn’t mean it and I’ll go but…”
Narcissa swallowed.
But what…
“…but… you have to know that… that I meant it… that I wanted to kiss you and for me it… it wasn’t nothing…”
Narcissa froze. She couldn’t be hearing this right. Alice wasn’t… Alice had boyfriends… Alice was beautiful… She was everything good that Narcissa failed to be… She couldn’t feel this way too…
But here she was. Right here in front of her, saying it was so. Saying that… that she had wanted to kiss her. That it had meant something.
But… that isn’t possible…
Except it was. Alice was telling her it was. Alice. Her Alice. The real Alice Fortescue was holding her face and telling her she…
She wanted to kiss me…
“… I know you must be so confused… I just needed to tell you that I wanted it… that I still want it and I thought you did it too… I know I should have asked first and I’m sorry but I-”
“Shut up.”
Narcissa leaned forwards, dropping her hands and letting them find Alice’s waist as she pressed their lips together. They kissed. They kissed and within half a second Alice was kissing her back, moving her lips in sync with hers like they were partners in a choreographed dance.
It wasn’t like earlier, curious and slow. Alice moved like fire and Narcissa let her burn. Alice slipped hands down her neck and Narcissa shivered as one curled around her neck and the other crept even lower. Her touch was like flash of lightening or the warm sun or maybe both. Whatever it was, Narcissa wanted more.
She pulled Alice closer, letting her fingers slip beneath her shirt and crawl across her soft skin. Narcissa gasped as Alice let her own hands explore.
They didn’t stop for air. They didn’t stop to talk. They didn’t need to. They could taste each other’s desire, feel what the other wanted like they were reading each other’s skin. Time passed as they surrendered to each other. Maybe a little, maybe a lot. They didn’t know and they didn’t care.