Pain was seeing your first love marry your very close friend. It was your brother being the best man, while his partner (because of course he was in a happy and successful relationship) was the man of honor. Said man of honor was currently helping get the radiant bride down the aisle, probably back there somewhere fanning her so she doesn’t sweat off her makeup in the painful summer heat. I mean, truly, who chooses a summer wedding these days.
When Regulus gets married he wants an early spring wedding, somewhere close to his uncle Alphard’s summer home in Italy. Since he was a child every diary he ever had consisted of mockups, vision boards, and fake vows to the person of his dreams.
Said person of his dreams was currently at the end of the aisle already getting his ear whispered into by Sirius.
Why had regulus come here? Well, maybe he was a masochist. But more likely was that he wanted to see the happiness of two of the people he loved most.
It wasn’t just that he and James had dated years ago and slowly fizzled out. They had grown up near each other, and had been so infatuated with one another before they had even started dating. In the end, Regulus thought that was what had made it so hard to let go.
Only Regulus never really had, but James did not have that problem and Regulus can only sit back and watch as he sees someone who he loves be happy. To him that’s one of the purest ways to love, unselfishly, but Regulus was never very romantic.
He didn’t begrudge Lily, having been one of the only ones of Sirius’ friends who Regulus had taken an instant liking to when he showed up at school the year after Sirius had started. She guided him to classes and did everything a friend of an older sibling did, being fun and sometimes teasing him along the way but also painstakingly gentle with the shy younger brother of her future husband's best friend.
Regulus scanned the crowd in the lawn (because of course they were marrying in James’ parents backyard) and could see Mary and Marlene, two of Lily’s bridesmaids talking to each other in whispers. Regulus couldn’t make out what they were saying but Mary looked very upset at what Marlene was stating, emphasizing each word with the movement of her hands. Lily had picked lavender, a color that looked great on both the girls. This wedding was going to be so picturesque and Regulus could only stand back and watch.
“How are you holding in there?” Dorcas said at Regulus’ shoulder.
“And why would I be simply ‘holding in’?” Regulus asked, faking ignorance to someone who has been in his life way before his and James’ story began.
“Because,” Dorcas started like it was obvious and it really was to most definitely everyone “you’re watching to people you love and care about find love with each other and I know you’re strong but even that’s gotta hurt a bit.”
“it actually doesn’t,” Regulus shrugged, but what he was thinking was that he could take it, he had been taking it, and maybe if he could get through this day he could get through anything. “I’m completely neutral.”
“More like completely numb.” Dorcas rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should talk to Mary after the ceremony.”
Ah yes the other jaded ex who was participating in this wedding. It was a wonder that no one considered that a red flag, especially James. But Regulus was practically a walking red flag and James had dated him for four years anyway. Such a Potter thing to do, believe the best in people.
“Not likely to happen,” he said. “how would one start that conversation ‘wanna form a jilted ex lovers club?’ or should I just do what you did and say ‘how you holding in there, buddy?’”
“I did not say ‘buddy.’”
“It was implied.” And with that Regulus turned back to the front of the aisle, James and Sirius were standing under a flowered arch that probably cost more than the custom tailored suit Regulus was currently wearing. His eyes wandered from the arch to the arch to the suit that James was wearing, his gaze landing on the cuff links that had been a gift from Regulus to James last Christmas. Regulus didn’t judge James wearing a gift from his ex at a wedding to another, they were really nice cuff links.
Regulus eyes surveyed James arms, ones that had once held him in various loving embraces. All the way up James’ neck and to his face. It was there that James’ eyes met his.
Regulus was lost, he was drowning in James eyes at the moment and it felt like all the pressure in the world was pushing down on his chest when he realized that he was quite possibly the only person who felt the tension. Nobody here, none of James’ relatives nor Lily’s nor any of their friends had any way of feeling this.
Regulus couldn’t do this, he loved Lily and he definitely loved James, but this was the worst situation he’s ever put himself in.
Regulus stood up suddenly but maybe the universe wanted a good laugh because at the same time he stood up so did everyone else around him. It was then that Regulus heard the music, it was time.
Regulus turned to see Lily standing independently at the front of the aisle, Remus, Marlene and Mary trailing behind her. She looked absolutely breathtaking. Regulus had been there when she picked out the gown, being the fashion expert that he was of course Lily had invited him to her fitting. The number she had settled on was a high neck lace dress that fanned out at the waist. Absolutely stunning.
When she made her way up to the front, Effie, who would be officiating the ceremony, began speaking, “we are gathered here today…” and so on the ceremony went.
Regulus listened intently to Effie while she spoke going along with the script that she probably wrote months before this day. Although James’ parents treated Regulus the same before and after the breakup, Regulus still felt a little awkward around them. He knew that Effie felt bad for him, but despite that, Fleamont understood him better than almost anyone.
When James and Regulus had started dating, Fleamont had pulled him aside at one point and said “My son has dug himself into a bit of a hole.”
“Oh? And why’s that?” Regulus had been genuinely confused.
“Because now, if the two of you break up, whoever he dates next will never measure up.” And broke up they had.
However, Fleamont loved Lily, Regulus knew that because out of everyone in his life Fleamont was probably one of the only people Regulus felt most comfortable opening up to. Therefore, Fleamont sometimes opened up to him in return. He said something once, something along the lines of James seeming to have a type, that Lily and Regulus had something of similar personalities.
The ceremony was continuing at a swift pace, which was good because the heat was going to go up soon and although Lily’s dress was beautiful and so were her bridemaid’s dresses, they probably wouldn’t be as comfortable in the summer sun at peak temperatures.
Just before the moment came for James and Lily to say their vows to each other, Effie said, “If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.” That was very odd. Regulus, as did most people here, knew that this part was usually passed over in more recent ceremonies.
Next to him, Dorcas jokingly nudged Regulus but he ignored her because he was too focused on what was happening at the altar.
Sirius was staring very intently at James, who was staring very intently at Marlene, who was leaning slightly into Mary, who was staring very forcefully at Lily. The only person who seemed not in tune to this mess was James. Remus, Regulus could see, had his hand at his side twitching, an indicator that he was very chimed in to what was happening all around him.
Marlene’s lips started moving, her slightly whispering something to Mary. A second later, Mary snapped up straight and said, “I object.”
“Oh, thank god.” Both Sirius and Remus said at the same time, then looked at each other in shock.
Lily turned around to look at Mary, both fear and longing in her eyes. “Mary,” she breathed out. “What are you doing?”
”Saying what I needed to years ago.” Mary said. It was at this moment that Regulus looked to see how James was taking all this, probably not well at all considering there was now an extremely large chance that he was going to be left at the altar. Not to mention that two of his best friends had just seemed elated at this interjection. But when he saw the look on James’ face all his nervousness that James would be heartbroken fell away. James had a bright smile on his face, one that was filled with pride and as he watched Mary confess her feelings for Lily, feelings that had never gone away even after being broken up, his smile grew.
“Looks like someone beat you to it.” Dorcas murmured beside Regulus. Regulus could only shake his head, watching in shock yet again as Lily nodded along to what Mary was saying.
When Mary was done, Lily hesitated. Luckily James was right there.
“Go on, Lily.” He said from where he was standing over her shoulder, “Tell her how you feel.”
Lily turned back to him then, and he said, “Go get the girl, Lily.” Lily nodded and leaned in to whisper something that nobody seemed to be able to hear. Of course, Sirius tried to lean in to hear but stopped himself when he saw the look that Remus was leveling him with. When Lily moved away from James, she grabbed Mary’s hand and the two ran down the aisle. Regulus caught a whiff of her perfume as Lily ran by, flashing him with a smile.
Effie standing there looking not at all like a mother who had just watched her son get left at the alter said, “Well, I guess that’s that everyone. Feel free to take some food from inside, seeing as there is going to be no reception.”
Regulus had to talk to Sirius, he had to talk to somebody about what happened. But as he stood up he realized he couldn’t do that right now. Too much had just happened.
“Don’t you want to talk to James?” Dorcas said as she tried to stop him from outright running.
No, Regulus did not want to talk to James. He couldn’t entertain the idea that this was a good thing for him. Besides that, James and Lily technically just broke up and Regulus wasn’t going to swoop in and offer himself as a rebound when James was potentially emotionally torn up about this whole ordeal.
“No.” Regulus said, and then he turned and ran.
Regulus made it to the front of the house before he had to stop. He heard the footsteps behind him before he felt the hand on his arm.
”Regulus.” James said simply.
Regulus didn’t know what to say. What did one say to the person they were in love with at the failed wedding of said person who also just got left at the altar by someone who was considered a best friend?
“Why did Sirius and Remus say “thank god” when Mary objected?” Apparently that’s what they said.
James released a breath, “Because they both knew that Lily and I would be happier with other people.” Regulus supposed that made sense. Obviously two of James’ closest friends would want him to be happy, and especially considering that Remus was Lily’s best friend it made even more sense.
“Did you know that was going to happen?” Regulus had most likely lost it, because he had not clue why he was still standing here asking questions when every instinct within him was telling him to run away.
“Well, it wasn’t Sirius who told my mom to ask if anyone had any objections.” James shrugged.
“That was you?” Regulus was seriously surprised at this, although he had noted that it was highly odd for Effie to say that.
James shrugged yet again, “You see, I knew that Mary and Lily still had some lingering feelings for each other.”
Regulus reeled back, “You mean she…”
“No! We were never unfaithful to each other. But as the wedding got closer it became more and more evident, to the both of us I think, that these feelings might be bigger than we both thought. I’d rather she be happy with Mary and me to be happy with someone else,” James looked Regulus up and down in a way that sent shivers down Regulus’ body as he said this, “than for our marriage to fizzle out and of us to have an ugly divorce.”
“So I’m guessing you're gonna use that honeymoon to figure your shit out alone.” Regulus said. He hated that he had said that. Why was he giving James ideas on finding a rebound?
“Well, not quite.” James smiled. “Regulus…”
Regulus heard that note in his voice and knew James was about to ask him something, “Will you come on my honeymoon with me?” He said in a rush.
Regulus’ eyes snapped up to James’ “You want me to come with you?” He couldn’t keep the shock from his voice. “Why?”
“I did say that Lily and I were both in love with other people. The only thing I don’t know is if the person I’m still in love with still has room in his heart for me.” James took a step forward and his body was encompassing Regulus’ space.
Regulus couldn’t help but lean in and when James’ head tilted downward, he didn’t even try to resist the urge to kiss him. The kiss was everything Regulus remembered it to be, he roamed his hands over James’ sprawling chest trying to feel his body underneath the designer suit. With his own hands James was trying to do the same.
A few minutes later they pulled away naturally. “So is that a yes?” James asked.
“James…” Regulus breathed out. “Of course it is. Yes, I love you still. I never stopped.” James’ smile reminded Regulus of everything he had missed over the time he and James weren’t together but at the same time it reminded him of all that he would soon have again. “And I’ll go with you on your honeymoon.”
James leaned down to kiss him again but Regulus avoided his mouth and asked, “When do we leave, James?”
”Right now.” James said and grabbed Regulus’ hand pulling him towards the car that they would use to drive away into their happily ever after together.
“One more thing,” Regulus started from the passenger's seat once they were both inside. “What did Lily whisper to you before she ran away?”
James chucked, “She said, ‘Go get the boy, James.’” Regulus laughed too, because James had done exactly that.