James
That was a really long exam. James sighed as he pushed open the apartment door. He’d been prepared for everything but respiratory conditions, and what had the first two case studies been on? Respiratory conditions. At least the rest of it had been based on the circulatory system.
James kicked off his shoes and flicked on the lights as he trudged into the kitchen, opening the freezer. He couldn’t be bothered to cook. He grabbed a container of leftover soup and shuffled over to the microwave, shoving it inside and pressing buttons until it started.
He leaned against the counter and pressed his face into his hands. He was really hoping he did enough to pass, otherwise the prac exam was going to be a nightmare trying to catch up on marks.
The microwave beeped and James grabbed a spoon from the top drawer, then pulled out his dinner. He didn’t bother sitting down, just ripped off the lid and started eating where he stood. It was lukewarm at best, not that he cared. All he wanted to do was sit on the lounge with Regulus and watch something stupid to forget about today.
Not that it seemed like Regulus was awake yet. James sighed. He was really looking forward to residency so he could work more nightshifts and get their sleep schedules a little closer. James downed the last of his soup and dropped the dishes in the sink. He’d clean up later. Probably.
Maybe I’ll just lay down with him for a while…
James turned off the kitchen light and made his way toward their bedroom, trying not to creak all the floorboards. As expected, Regulus was still wrapped up beneath the sheets, laying on his side toward the closed curtains. James smiled. Quietly he slipped off his shirt and tiptoed over to the bed. Gently pulling back the covers, he carefully crawled up beside Regulus, wrapping an arm over his cold body. His freezing body.
James stilled.
Regulus was always a little colder than he was, but this was too cold. This wasn’t normal.
“Reg? Are you alright?”
He paused, waiting for a response, but Regulus remained silent. A shiver ran down his spine. He grabbed Regulus by the shoulders and tried turning him over, but Regulus tensed and curled in on himself. James couldn’t budge him. He learned closer, reaching out to cup Regulus’s cheek.
“What’s wrong?”
Regulus flinched.
“I’m fine…”
“No, you’re not.”
Regulus ignored him and James’s stomach twisted. Why did he have to be so stubborn? James leaned down, sliding his fingers down Regulus’s arm, and squeezing his hand, slipping the other beneath his neck and curled up against his back. He shivered. Even through Regulus’s clothes, the chill seeped through.
“Come on, Reg. Talk to me.”
James shut his eyes and pressed his face into Regulus’s hair, breathing him in. This wasn’t good. Nothing was ever good when he got like this.
“What can I do?”
He gripped Regulus tighter, getting closer, but Regulus tensed up and pulled his hand from Jamess.
“Please go…”
“Regulus, what do you need? I can get it for you. I can-”
“Just leave,” Regulus shuddered. “Please… I can’t…”
James swallowed, his brow furrowing. “What...” He sat up, learning over Regulus’s body, trying to catch a glimpse of his face, but before he could see it Regulus shoved him off.
“Stop!”
He slammed into the mattress as Regulus shot to his feet, fists clenched and his whole body trembling. “James, I can’t… you can’t be so close… I’m not…”
James scowled. He knew what was wrong.
“How long as it been?”
“It’s fine.”
“Howlong?”
James desperately filed through his memories, trying to remember the last time he’d seen Regulus eat. It had to have been a few days at this point, maybe more…
Regulus hesitated, his shoulders tensing even further as he wrapped his arms around himself.
“I… I ran out last week…”
James grit his teeth and sat up.
That’s too long...
“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have grabbed more!”
He worked shifts at that screening centre for a reason. Why wouldn’t he have mentioned he was running low?
“I can…” Regulus shivered. “I can handle waiting…”
“Regulus you don’t have to-” He shifted his weight, reaching out, but Regulus snapped around, pressing himself flat against the dark window. James’s breath hitched. His eyes widened.
Shit…
Regulus’s face was hard and pale. Harder than normal. Paler than normal. His eyes were red, fixed on him, with shadows cracking down his cheeks. James was suddenly very aware of the heart pounding in his chest. Every cell in his body was urging to get away, to run out that door and escape without looking back. Every instinct he had was telling him he was in danger, life threatening danger.
He bit his lip. That couldn’t be good.
“Don’t. Get. Any. Closer.”
James scowled and slid closer.
“This isn’t handling-”
“James, stop!” Regulus screwed up his face, holding out his hands. “I can’t…”
He didn’t stop. He could help. He wanted to help him. He wanted him to do it. James understood why Regulus was nervous. Last time had ended in disaster and he knew that but… that was a one off. Every other time before that had been fine, for both of them. Fresher blood was healthier, and James wanted to share his. “I can help you, Reg. Please let me-”
“James… James stop please…”
“No.” He kept inching forward. “Let me help. I can handle it.”
“Please… I can’t… I can’t hurt you again…”
James shook his head and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He wasn’t going to let him starve. It was Tuesday, and he didn’t have another shift until Saturday. He couldn’t wait that long. He shouldn’t have waited this long.
“Reg, you need to trust-”
James couldn’t finish. Regulus dove toward him, smacking into his body and slamming him into the bed. James choked as the air was knocked out of his lungs, and Regulus squeezed his wrists, kneeling over him. He tried to shift, but he couldn’t move. Regulus had him pinned down.
“Stop…” Regulus clenched his jaw, keep his face screwed up as bloody tears welled up in his eyes. “Please… I can’t…”
“Reg it’s alright… you’ve done it before, and you can do it again.”
Regulus shook his head and a small drop of blood dripped from his face, falling through the space between them until it splattered against James’s own cheek. His chest squeezed as he tried to ignore the painful lump growing in his throat.
“Why not?”
“You know why.”
“Reg, I was fine. I’m fine. It was an accident.”
Regulus opened his eyes and snarled. Part of James screamed at him to fight, jump up and run, but another part wanted nothing more than to remain here, beneath Regulus, completely at his mercy.
“James, I can hear your fear… I can’t…”
“I’m not scared.”
James knew his body was scared, he could feel it in the way his heart was racing faster and faster, the way his nervous system was buzzing. But he wasn’t afraid. He was not afraid of Regulus. He never had been, and he never would be. Maybe he should be, but he wasn’t. He trusted him and maybe he shouldn’t, but he did.
The red in his eyes glowed. The shadows cracked deeper into Regulus’ cheeks, bloody tears mixing through them.
James’ stomach twisted, “Stop fighting,” he breathed. “I want this too...”
I really want it…
He stared deep into Regulus’ eyes, and tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck.
“James…”
He gasped, the fingers around his wrists squeezing painfully tight. He could feel the veins pulsing in his neck. Regulus trembled and forced his eyes shut as another bloody tears dripped onto James’ face.
“Let go, Reg…”
Regulus bared his teeth, and James could see his fangs extending. He watched as Regulus sucked in a breath. Then grimaced as he choked on it.
“I’ll… I’ll hurt you…”
---
Regulus
His mouth watered as he peppered kisses down James’ throat. He could feel his pulse beneath his skin and Regulus was burning with desire as he inhaled the sweet, sweet scent. He’d been resisting all night, but he couldn’t resist any longer. He needed to taste him, needed to feel his blood coat his tongue.
“Please do it…” James begged, the alcohol still fresh on his breath.
Regulus grinned and grazed the tip of his tongue up his neck. James shivered beneath him, and Regulus smirked, gripping James’ wrists even tighter.
“Oh, you would want it wouldn’t you,” he chuckled, letting his fangs scrape across his skin. He was easily as drunk as James, probably more. Oh James. “I want it too,” he breathed.
James’ heart sped up. The beating pounded in his ears. Regulus licked his lips. Oh yes. He sunk his teeth into James and blood oozed into his mouth. James’ blood. James’ sweet, delicious blood.
God, he tastes so good.
James moaned. He could feel James’ breath down the back of his neck and he pressed himself even closer to James, drinking, swallowing, taking James into himself. He was so good. His head was swirling as his blood became his, the emotions becoming one in the same. It just made it so much better.
James tasted so happy. He could taste his joy and pleasure. His passion and hunger. His care and warmth. Regulus could taste his love and god it was good. He couldn’t get enough. He wanted more. He needed it all.
“Hmm… Reg…”
Regulus continued to drink. Savouring every drop as it flowed from James into him. Distantly, he could James’ heartbeat speeding up and his breathing slowing down, but Regulus was consumed. Too drunk to notice the signs, to enticed to even feel the urge to stop.
All he could think about was how good this felt. How much he wanted to be with him.
“R-Reg… I don’t…”
Somewhere the voice entered his ears, but his mind wasn’t there to hear it. There was a push against his hands, but he held firm. Something beneath him was struggling. Regulus continued to drink. How could he stop? Why would he want to?
He could feel his strength growing with every drop. He wanted this feeling to last forever. If he just kept drinking it would. It tasted so sweet and happy and… and… no… it didn’t taste happy… it was still good… so good but... that was fear… why had it changed?
Regulus sucked harder, letting more blood drip down his throat. Why was there so much tension? What happened to the joy? Why had panic replaced it?
The resistance against him eased and Regulus relaxed. But that… that wasn’t right… why had it stopped? Was it supposed to stop? Something said yes but… something else said no…
Someone is saying no…
His eyes snapped open and… Panic washed over him. This was James. This was James and he was muttering…
“No…”
Regulus leapt back.
No…
This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be right.
“James?”
But James didn’t answer. How could he? He was almost completely still. The bite was already healing, but blood covered his neck. It had dripped down all over his shirt. His heart wasn’t beating right. His lungs weren’t breathing right. His skin was dull, and he’d done it. He hadn’t stopped… He hadn’t… He…
“James,” he murmured, his voice choked. He hurt him. James was hurt. James was dying. It was all his fault.
Regulus blinked as his eyes began to sting, the world suddenly tinged with red. He had to fix this.
I have to save him…
Regulus shook as crawled off the bed, hands trembling as he lifted James from the mattress and cradled him in his arms. The hospital wasn’t far. He could make it. He had to.
And he did, but only barely.
The doctor asked questions. He feigned ignorance. Said they were drinking and woke up this way. Her heartbeat said she didn’t believe him, James’ lack of wounds meant she couldn’t prove him guilty. He was though. He was guilty. He’d done it. He was the reason James was hooked up to machines.
“He should be awake by morning,” the nurse smiled as they marked down James’ vital signs. The ones I ruined.
Regulus nodded and was pretty sure he muttered a thanks before they left, but he wasn’t entirely sure. He didn’t overly care. The only thing he could focus on was listening to James’ heartbeat strengthen, smelling the blood in his veins regenerating.
He nearly killed him, so he swore to himself.
I can never do that again…
Guilt makes promises easy to keep.
When James woke up, Regulus couldn’t look him in the eye. Not when he could hear the fear in his heart.
“It was an accident.”
“It was still my fault.”
It took days before Regulus could look at him again. Even more to touch him. Weeks before he trusted himself to even go in their room while James slept. It was months before they were close again. Time proved to be a mostly effective medicine.
It was events like this that made him glad the immortality myths were just myths. Time wasn’t real if you existed forever, and he imagined that would negate it’s healing properties.
He was lucky James still loved him enough to find a new source of blood. He wasn’t affected by the imperfections that deemed donated blood unusable, but bagged blood wasn't as good for him as fresh and he needed more of it. Stealing the discarded blood was difficult, but after James landed the job at the screening centre, it was easier. Still not easy though, and he knew it made James stressed. He could have gone back to hunting but... he couldn't do that to James.
“Do you need me to pick up anything while working?”
Regulus shook his head. James had his exam next week and he needed to focus. He couldn’t stress him out that way. He could handle waiting.
“Why aren’t you having anything?”
He forced a smile and just shook his head. “I had some before you got home.” It was a lie. He hadn’t had anything since Monday. “How’s your exam prep going?”
James groaned and launched into an explanation, as he slipped down the sleeves of his jumper and suppressed a shiver. He was fine.
“Why are you coming to bed so early?”
Because I’m tired and cold.
Regulus shrugged, and slipped into the sheets beside James, curling up to him. He had to hold his breath. It had been a week now. He could make it.
“I really don’t mind you know.”
“Nonsense,” Regulus sat down on the lounge, pulling he pulled another blanket up. “You need to sleep before your exam, and we both know I’ll distract you.”
“You’re too sweet.”
Regulus bit his lip and clenched his fits beneath the mountain of fabric.
No, you are.
---
James
“I’ll… I’ll hurt you…”
James shook his head.
“You won’t… that was different… I trust you…”
That night had been just as much his fault. Regulus had rules, and his biggest was not after drinking. He wouldn’t risk it with alcohol in either of their systems, and yet he’d pushed it. After they’d both been out.
He’d begged at the club, and he’d begged the whole way home. He temped him. Encouraged him. Stirred him up.
He’d chewed at his lip till the skin broke. He kissed him while it bled. He had pushed Regulus until he couldn’t resist, and almost everything that Regulus feared could happen, happened.
Doctors and nurses quizzed him about what happened. He knew they suspected Regulus, he said he didn’t remember. They couldn’t do much when he didn’t want anything investigated, though he was slipped pamphlet. He knew Regulus had seen. He caught the look of guilt.
“It’ll be alright…”
James offered him a smile, even as another red tear dripped from Reg’s face to his. His wrists were hurting, but he didn’t mind, he knew Regulus was hurting more.
“I can’t…” he was sobbing now. “I’ll can’t k-kill you…”
“You won’t.”
He believed that. He really did. Regulus had been starved before and still known when to stop. He wasn’t impaired this time, he knew that if anything, he was hyperaware of everything going on inside James’ body.
“But what if I lose-”
“You won’t.”
“But what if I can’t-”
“You will.”
James wasn’t going to budge. Regulus was never going to admit how hungry he was right now, but his body had long since betrayed him. His eyes mapped the marks creeping across his face, his heart thumped, and he sighed. Even like this James thought he was beautiful.
“You can’t starve yourself. Please just take me.”
At that, something in Regulus’ face softened, and red eyes peeked through red lashes. He looked exhausted and James knew that he was barley seeing the surface of it.
Regulus’ lips parted as his eyes darted down to James’ throat, tracing the curve of his neck. His stomach flittered. His heart must have too because Regulus’ eyes darted to his chest. James’ shook his head.
“I’m not afraid of you.”
Regulus swallowed, blinking slowly.
“You should be…”
“Well,” James tilted his head even further, drawing Regulus’ eyes back to the beating veins. “I’m not.”
The switch flipped.
“James…” His voice was weak with limerence. His breath filled with longing. His entire being exuding lust. If he were standing, James would have collapsed.
James held his breath as Regulus got closer, blinking back tears, mouth wide and teeth visible. His body was surging with fear, his mind with excitement. They both felt the same.
He shivered. “Please Reg…” Cool breath, brushed the skin of his neck and he breathed Regulus in in return. It was fresh and familiar. He gasped as Regulus slide his tongue up his throat. It was happening. His heart sped up, and he felt Regulus pause for a second. “I love you…”
Time stood still. Then it passed.
A sharp sting radiated through James as he felt two sharp fangs digging into his neck. It wasn’t painful for long. Not a moment passed before the venom reacted with his blood, and James felt nothing, but pure euphoria.
Everything around him dissolved, as he dissolved into Regulus. The boundaries between who was who, disappearing as they became one. He could hear Regulus drinking from him and he moaned at the sound. It felt so good. Regulus taking in his very essence felt so good.
Regulus had explained it to him once, that when he fed, he could taste the humans emotions. That he could taste how much he loved him. Right now, after everything that had happened, he wanted Regulus to taste how much he cared. He needed Regulus to know, that the guilt he was carrying had long since been forgiven.
I love you… I love you so much…
James closed his eyes and revelled in the act.
It didn’t last forever, perhaps ending a little sooner than truly necessary, but that was alright. This was a huge step.
Regulus removed his lips, but didn’t pull away, instead panting over the healing wound, breathing cool, but not as cold as before, breaths down his neck. His fingers slipped from James’ wrists, and he collapsed onto James, who then brought his arms down. He snaked one around Regulus’ back, while the other weaved through his hair.
“I told you.” He whispered. “I’m alright.”
As the words left his mouth, Regulus sucked in a sharp breath and let his own arms slide around James. James could feel more blood dripping down his neck, but it was cold, and knew it wasn’t his.
He pulled Regulus closer.
“You did it. I knew you could.”
“I’m sorry…”
James twisted his fingers through the Reg’s curls, as he felt Regulus’ tongue licking up remaining blood from his neck.
“You have nothing to apologise for.”
He really didn’t, he was just happy that Regulus had eaten something. More pleased that something had come from him. James’ yawned and Regulus shifted.
“I need to get you something to-”
James held tighter, “I just had dinner. Stay with me.”
He half expected Regulus to ignore him but was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t try break out his grasp. Didn’t try to escape, instead softening, snuggling closer and letting James hold him. Their bodies fit together like they’d been designed for it, and for the first time in a while, James felt they were truly connected.
He didn’t know how long Regulus would lay with him, he wasn’t even sure he’d stopped crying, but when his eyelids grew heavy and dreams called, he embraced sleeps call and drifted away. Why not? He had his favourite person right here to drift with.