“I don’t think you get it, Barty, he had the audacity to try and get all friendly with me after he insulted me behind my back,” Evan said, stuffing his mouth full of pancakes. Barty makes a face at him.
“I think you should’ve let him, make him pay.”
Evan rolls his eyes, “I didn’t want to deal with it!”
“Well, now I have to deal with him trying to make friends with me!”
“Whatever,” Evan scoffs, “Reg, what do you think?”
Two heads turn to their third friend, who’s resting his chin on his hand and staring, glaring perhaps, ahead of him. Regulus’ eyelids are slowly blinking, his pinky tracing his lips lightly. It’s obvious he wasn’t listening in the slightest if the cooling tea and breakfast were anything to go by.
Barty and Evan share a glance, knowing exactly who he’s looking at. “Reg?” Evan prods lightly at Regulus’ shoulder.
Colour comes over Regulus’ cheeks as he zones back into reality, shifting his eyes to his friends.
“This crush is pathetic,” Barty says, taking a sip of his tea, “like, Potter? Really?”
“Oh, hush,” Regulus huffs, “it’s not like you and Evan are any better.”
“Yes, but at least I can suc-”
“Die.”
Evan laughs softly, “I just think he’s saying it’s weird because he’s been pining after that Evans girl for ages. Seems kind of unattainable to me.”
“Plus, he’s your brother's best friend.”
“I think that makes him more enticing to Regulus, Bee,” Evan teases, grinning as Regulus groans.
“I know he’s unattainable! And straight, and all that!” Regulus huffs. “I’m not happy about this either you know.”
Barty laughs at his misery, making Regulus scowl. This dumb crush on James Potter of all people reared its ugly head when the school year began, forcing Regulus to come to terms with the fact he’s fancied his brother’s best friend for several years. It’s annoying because James Potter is annoying, but Regulus likes the older Gryffindor too much to actually want to get rid of the butterflies in his stomach that flutter each time Potter does something. What’s worse, it makes Regulus want to try to make amends with his brother, which wouldn’t be so bad, but then it would create a complicated mess that’ll force Regulus to pick sides.
And there’s the whole egregious idea where James would like him back, which made Regulus laugh so hard he cried in Evan’s arms when Barty suggested it. James is straight. He likes a girl. Makes it very, very, clear that it gives way to the thought that maybe Regulus shouldn’t have transitioned; yet that’s a thought that Evan and Barty quickly beat out of his head. So, with that, Regulus is notably not a girl, thus James can’t like him.
Yes, bisexual people exist but Regulus is adamantly not giving himself hope. Absolutely none.
“Oh, the king of pining strikes again,” Dorcas says as she sits down next to Barty and across from Regulus, “do you need a cut out of him to curse again?”
“No,” Regulus mumbles, stabbing his eggs.
“Alright, darling.” She pats his hand in a pitying manner, and it took everything in Regulus to not stab her instead. Unfortunately, stabbing is not so becoming of one in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. At least that’s what he’s told.
“I have to go walk my fish,” Regulus grumbles angrily, standing up and leaving the Great Hall.
“His fish?”
“He doesn’t own a fish, Dorcas.”
“You can’t walk fish? They swim?”
Regulus had been so annoyed at his friends that he didn’t realize he was being followed until a hand grazed his wrist. He flinches and looks back, hand over his wand and his eyes narrowed. In front of him is the one person he doesn’t really want to see, but James Potter stands, with a dumb grin and messy hair and his stupid glasses.
“What do you want, Potter?” Regulus scowls, trying to get as much malice in his tone as possible. With James’ widening grin, it doesn’t work. Butterflies fly around his stomach, his soul singing with the attention James is giving him. “Well?”
“Well,” James drawls, “I was hoping if you were free sometime this weekend?”
Regulus feels his face go red, “It’s Hogsmeade weekend?”
James nods with a warm smile. His hands rest in his pockets, his stance casual. “Yeah, so wanna go on a date? If you’re free of course?”
“Yes.”
Regulus meant to play it cooler than that, he really did. Even tried to rationalize how just yesterday, James was making heart eyes at Evans. However, in his defense, his brain was racing along with his heart to make any logical decisions. It doesn’t matter though, James resulting grin makes it so much sweeter.
“Awesome! I’ll see you then?” This results in a nod from Regulus, watching James turn back to the Great Hall with a wave and just like that, he’s alone. Messing with his rings, curling his hair around his fingers and quickly realizes he’s feeling too much emotion for the corridor.
Heading back down into the Slytherin dungeons and the dorms, he leaps on his bed and screams into his pillow, pressing it to his face.
“Oh my god!” He breathes. It’s hardly believable that Potter wants to go on a date with him. Him! But it happened and his heart is dealing with the repercussions of the interaction with Potter. When it finally calms down, he stands and starts planning his outfit for the upcoming day, a happy blush over his cheeks.
Sometimes, things aren’t meant to last, Regulus finds out as he sits in his secluded spot of the library.
“James, why would you ask Regulus out if you didn’t mean it?” He hears Sirius hiss to someone, presumably James. It makes Regulus frown.
“It was just a dare, I didn’t think he would actually agree,” James replies, quickly. Sirius groans.
“You need to cancel if you’re not going to go with him, he doesn’t deserve to be stood up.”
“It’ll be fine,” James sighs.
There’s a muffled thump and a wince from James. “I can assure you it won’t be. Who the fuck gave you the idea?”
Regulus was curious too, because he was trying so hard not to burst into tears right there in the middle of the library, grateful for the lack of his friends.
“Remus and Peter thought of asking someone out, Mary had put Regulus in my head,” James says, “she was pissed at him for something, and Lily planned the idea of the date. And I guess I thought I could fix him.”
“And you didn’t consult me? His older brother?” Regulus can hear Sirius’ scowl. “Because you had to choose the one person with a crush on you? Really?”
“He has a crush on me?”
“Why the fuck do you think he agreed?”
“I-”
“You have to tell him. It’s cruel otherwise.”
Regulus has had enough, leaving his spot and passing the two. “Don’t bother.”
“Wait, Reg!”
“Do not call me that, Potter.” Regulus breathes through his nose, through his teeth. He’s not even angry, resigned to the conclusion he’s just unlovable. That’s all there is to it. Turning again, he storms out, fighting the tears all the while, but of course , Potter had to follow him; he fucking wanted to do this now? Fine.
“Just wait!”
“Why?” Regulus turns to James, they’re in the middle of the main hall, people have stopped and are staring. Regulus is so uncomfortable; he just wants to go cry in his bed. “So, you can break it to me with your own fucking words? Huh? How sick are you?”
Sirius has caught up by now and by the pure look of despair on his brother's face, Regulus’ own is crumbling. It’s incredible that by realizing that fact, tears find their way down his face.
“Look, I’m sorr-”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it!” Regulus cuts him off, the first sob coming from his throat. “It doesn’t! You don’t just get to do that!”
“I didn’t mean anything by it!” James yells out, running his stupid hands through his stupid fucking hair.
“Oh, really?” Regulus glares, tears falling down his face. He wants to go somewhere private, so he can break down in peace. “Because it meant everything to me! Am I just a joke to you? Huh? Someone you can just fix ?”
“Regulus,” Sirius cuts in, his tone calm. It works on Regulus, though, despite him not wanting it to. He’s just as angry at Sirius for pointing out the ‘joke’.
“So, you’re just going to side with him? Fuck me, right? Silly little Regulus, being asked out as a joke !” Emotion wells up within Regulus again, sobs wracking his body. He holds over his stomach, choking out curses to his brother and Potter. There’s snot coming out of his nose, dripping down and mixing with his tears. “You’re fucking ridiculous!”
“Darling, breathe,” Sirius holds onto his shoulders, “I’m not on his side, frankly, I’m pissed.”
“Leave me alone, Sirius,” Regulus sobs, gripping onto his robes. His chest feels like it’s bursting out of his chest in an attempt to kill him, “we’re in public.”
Sirius presses his lips together but releases him.
“Reg, I just,” James had started, closing his mouth, then continued, “I just thought we could end up being friends.”
Grey eyes peer over Sirius’ shoulder, bloodshot and angry. Tears fall in burning streams and land on the floor below. “I will never be your friend,” Regulus sobs out, “I refuse. Now, let me go! This is humiliating, don’t you see?”
It leaves James shocked, enough to allow Regulus to finally turn and travel down to his dorm, a sick parallel to just days earlier. He sobs once he reaches his bed, gripping onto the sheets, struggling to calm down. The hurt spreads all over his body, rendering him helpless to the sobs that choke him, leaving him breathless.
On the other side of the castle, several arguments are going on. All stemming from Sirius.
“You’re all fucking with me!” He releases a crazed laugh. “You can’t tell me none of you thought that was a good idea!”
“He pissed me off! The little shit deserved it!” Mary scowls.
“Deserved to believe his feelings might be returned? Sure!”
Remus chooses to walk into the common room just at that moment, flinching when Sirius confronts him immediately.
“Did you know?”
“Know what?” Remus questions, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at Sirius.
“That James was dared to ask Regulus out.”
Remus’ eyes widen. “What? I just thought it was an idea we came up with, something half-assed.”
“Well, they full-assed it!” Sirius yells, gesturing to the people behind him, “And now Regulus isn’t ever going to forget this!”
“I thought it would be fine!” James despairs, “I really liked him...”
“Well, you fucked it up,” Sirius sneers, “congratulations.”
Well, fuck, because Remus is reeling from the information. When he and Peter were high off their asses, he didn’t think the idea would be put into fruition. He especially didn’t think Regulus’ feelings would be used against him like this.
“We have to fix this,” Remus says. Sirius rolls his eyes at him, frustration coming over his features.
“Oh yeah, fix how? Tell Regulus the betrayal was for something real? He’ll never trust it, it’s ruined.”
Ruined. Sounds about right.