Our Love Is..?

🎵Candy Store from Heathers the Musical🎵

Regulus POV

Dear Diary,

It has been a total of 3 weeks since I started hanging around the Slytherins, and it is absolutely amazing! Other than having to run errands, write passes 24/7, and the constant negativity, but they keep almost everyone else away, so I can live with this. Although I do wish they were nicer to-

“Reggie, get your slow ass down here, it’s movie night!” I heard Sirius yell from downstairs. I groan and yell back a “coming”.

I can’t believe I forgot about Sirius’ stupid movie night tradition, at least it’s Remus’ turn to pick the movie. At least now I won’t be forced into chick flick hell, it’ll just be some dumb comedy, hopefully. I hurry to grab my favorite blanket and head downstairs, dreading the night ahead. As soon as my foot hits the bottom step, Sirius is there, pulling my arm bringing me over to the couch where about 5 different snack bowls and a bunch of soft drinks are set out. Remus gives a simple wave as Sirius shoves me down to start the eternal hell. Now, movie night would usually be seen as a super fun thing, watching movies in silence, enjoying it, but Sirius could never keep his mouth shut long enough to enjoy the movie. He talks over every goddamn movie, so I’ve come to dread these nights. I don’t know how Remus can stand my brother, he’s absolutely annoying.

Remus gets up and puts in a movie, I don’t pay attention to the name and pull out my phone to text Snape and the other two. Well more like I text them, and they ask for favors Monday, but that's better than whatever movie Sirius is talking over currently. After texting and scrolling on my phone for a while, Sirius nudges me.

“Holy shit Sirius, what is wrong with you!?” I jump and yell. “You weren’t even paying attention to the movie, do you really hate your brother so much you won’t even set your phone down for a movie?” Sirius pouts. “Well there’s not much to watch when you talk through the whole goddamn movie Sirius.” I argue back. “Well it’s obviously 100% better when I talk over it, it has my voice there now, making it perfect.”

I go to keep bickering with my brother when Remus clears his throat calling out a gentle “Siri”, snapping my brother into his “Sirius Mode”, as he calls it.

“Right, I..We’ve been worried about you Regulus. You seem so tired lately, and have been coming back later and been in even worse moods than usual. You also never invite Pandora over anymore, did you two get into a fight? You should just apologize and make-up if you did, I love talking with her.” Sirius rambles. I’m not quite sure how to answer it, so I just tell the almost truth. “Yeah, uhm, me and Dora got into a fight, I don’t think I…we can fix it. I did meet some new friends though, they helped me out a lot and uhm, we hang out a lot after school doing some..fun things.” It’s not the most believable lie, but hopefully Sirius won't dig anymore.

“Well, I mean, I’m sure whatever happened can be fixed, Reg, you should really try. You’ve known Pandora since you were 4, inseparable actually, I’m sure if you would just talk to her-” Sirius tried to help, but I can’t take it, it hurts to hear. “Yeah, I get it, I get it, I just don’t want to ,Sirius can we move on?” I rushed out.

“But Pan-” Sirius started, but Remus quickly cut him off “That’s okay little star, why don’t you tell us about these new friends you told us about?”

Remus, the amazing father/brother figure he is, I could hug him.

“Of course, you probably remember them, or at least one of them. It's Snape, Mulciber and Pettigrew.” I spoke calmly as I could with my heart going as wild as it was.

I watched Sirius really close, seeing the recognition cross his face. He opened his mouth a couple of times, but didn’t answer, which was much scarier than disappointment or anger. Sirius would definitely know those names, they tried to constantly bully Sirius back when he was also at school, but of course he handled it in the very Sirius way. He told them to fuck off or he would beat the shit out of them, which actually meant Remus would. They all backed off, but went immediately after me instead.

“Wow, that’s uhhh, great Reggie, you know I’m sure they’re so very.. Nice to hang around…constantly.” Sirius spoke with an almost pained look on his face. It probably hurts to think about me hanging around such terrible people.

“And they are treating you well? Like an actual friend, little star?” Remus asked kindly.

“Well, yeah, I guess, they’re pretty…great?” I grimaced by that horrible lie, it was always hard lying to these two, as much as I hate it, I love them more than anything in this world.

“If you’re sure Reg, then alright,” Sirius finished after a bit of uncomfortable silence. “Just know we’ll be here to talk, alright?”

I simply nodded and grabbed the remote to start the movie back up, now paying attention to what was happening in it. That’s how we spent the rest of the night, watching cheesy and bad films, the tension leaving the room as we laughed, joked and complained about the shitty acting. We didn’t go to bed until around 3 in the morning, that’s when I decided to finish up my journal entry.

Although I do wish they were nicer to me and others, I have started to have many second thoughts. They are so mean to some, it’s hard to watch, and it's starting to seem like they want me to join, and I refuse to do that. I would never want to hurt someone like that, not in a million years. They also mentioned they had something to show me Monday, which is probably the most concerning thing I have ever heard, what could they possibly have to show me, and why couldn’t it be shown that day. Overall, my week hasn’t been great, but I’m not being bullied all the fucking time, so it’s better than nothing. I do miss Pandora though, a lot. 

*Time Skip*

It was Monday, today it was just Remus driving me to school, Sirius had a late night last night. It was kind of awkward, and I have never been so glad to have arrived at school. I knew Remus wanted to talk about Friday night, but he also knew I hated talking about things, so he left it alone, for now. He always forced us to talk about things eventually. I waved to him quickly and started heading over to where I usually meet the other Slytherins. They were already there, giggling? Well that’s concerning, they never giggled, not like that, they almost sounded like stupid mean girls in those cheesy movies and musicals, weird. 

“Hey guys, what’re we…laughing about?” I asked hesitantly.

“Well Regulus, we were actually laughing about this amazing note we want you to rewrite for a…joke. It will be really funny, and it proves that you really really want to be one of us.” Severus answered me in a very suspicious manner. That was even scarier than the giggling.

“I mean sure, why not? Who is it for?” I asked while I held out my hand for the note.

They passed it over and went silent, again scary. The note was written in pretty neat handwriting, Severus’ no doubt. It said:

Dear my dearest Pandora,

I have loved you since Kindergarten, and would love it if you would come to my party this weekend at my house. There we can talk more about our feelings for each other.

Love Barty Crouch.

P.S. I love the way you look and talk, you should actually wear that amazing outfit you wore to homecoming last year.

I stared in shock. Not only was this for Pandora, this was no doubt to embarrass her and make sure she cried. Regulus couldn’t do this to her, she has been nothing but kind to him since they were kids. She always held him when he cried about his parents and the bullying. She always showed up for his birthday when no one else did, she watched stupid movies with him. She loved him more than his own parents did, she was like a sister to him. She was a sister to him.

Severus coughed and spoke “Sooo, are you going to start writing? Wait, you probably need a flat surface. Peter! Bend over for him to write on his back.” 

Peter bent immediately, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, they would have my head for this.

“I-I can’t.” I whispered quietly, with no possible way they heard me.

“What was that Reg?” Severus asked, distracted by his phone.

I took a calming breath and said it loud and clear. There were 2 distinct gasps and the sound of a phone dropping. I cringed, this was bad, it was now time to die via head chopping. Severus turned his head slowly, in a creepy horror movie type of way, I think I might’ve whimpered a little at the pure hatred in his eyes. I saw in the corner of my eyes that both Mulciber and Peter had taken a step back.

“What was that Black? I don’t think I heard you right?” Severus said in a calm voice.

I gathered my courage and prepared to dig myself deeper into my grave. “You heard me, Snape. I won’t do it, Pandora doesn’t deserve that, she’s sweet, unlike you and doesn’t hurt people. This would break her heart, and I just can’t. So just just…FUCK RIGHT OFF!”

…

…

…

I’m so fucking dead, goodbye cruel world, I hated you too.

Serverus scoffed. “Are we going to have a problem Black? You got a bone to pick? You have come so far with us, why now are you pulling on my dick?” Snape said as he got closer and closer. “Usually I would beat the shit out of you, but I’m feeling nice, so here’s some advice, so listen closely bitch. You would be nothing without me, you would still be getting harassed by Crouch and Rosier. Everyone in the school would still hate you and that little friend you’re fighting so hard to protect. That same friend who would leave you in a second if she had the chance.” I tried to interrupt but Mulciber spoke up. “Plus, you get to skip class, have girls and guys fall at your feet to do your homework. Get to have alcohol and drugs, why would you give this all up for little miss airhead. What has she ever done for you to stay around, give you a little emotional support? We protect you, keep you safe, if anything, we are the better friends, don’t forget that, Reggie.” My name was spat out like I was the scum of the earth. “Yeah listen to them, plus, you wouldn’t want to upset your brother Reg, we used to be so close, he would love to see you be close with me as well. The weirdo wouldn’t do half the stuff we do for you Reg, please, just do this one thing for us and we’ll all be okay. It’ll honestly be funny, wouldn’t it, she’d understand.” Peter finishes.

I couldn’t even think before there was a pen and paper shoved in my face with three faces looking at me expectedly. I didn’t even think I could say no, they just were so convincing, Pandora wouldn’t mind a harmless prank, plus she never gave me this comfort and peacefulness these guys do.

“Okay, I’ll do it, it’s… just a harmless prank, she won’t mind at all.” I answered. I was immediately met with grins and claps on the back.

It took me 5 minutes to complete it, Crouch’s handwriting was shitty, and kind of hard to replicate, but it got done. They then took it and told me to watch as they whispered to Crouch to go give it to Pandora. Of course the dumbass listened, he was such a mindless idiot. He gave it to her and she lit up instantly. She had looked sad and alone, which made my heart hurt, but there wasn’t much I could do now, it was already done. She opened the letter and immediately brightened up even more, looking up to search for someone. It was only when she started skipping my way did I realize she was looking for me. I didn’t even know what to do when that hit me, she still chose me to tell this to, and that hurt so much worse than anything his parents had ever done to him.

“Reggie, Barty sent me a letter, he likes me back, after all this time, he likes me back. I’m going to a party this weekend to talk with him about our feelings for each other! You should come Reggie, we haven’t hung out in awhile anyways.” Pandora rushed out.

I just stood there, I didn’t know what to say, how could I say anything without spilling the truth. The truth being I had just faked a love letter to hurt my best friend, my sister. I couldn’t even call her that, I had no right, I could never call her that again after this.

“That’s uhm, great.. Dora?” I said with as much fake enthusiasm as I could muster. “Of course I’ll go to the party, It’ll be so much fun!” This time with better sounding excitement.

“Thank you thank you Reggie, we should go now, class will start soon. Bye bye!” She rushed off.

I barely had time to break down before a voice behind me spoke up. “Wow, that was sad.” A monotone voice spoke, spooking me.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!” I shouted turning around to see a… emo kid? Reading…Harry Potter. What the actual fuck. “Who the hell are you? How did you get back here? When did you get here? How long have you been listening in? Why are you dressed like you parents just fucking died? And why the fuck are you reading Harry Potter out of all of the pieces of literature in the world?” I fired the questions off without breathing. “I am James Potter, I walked back here early this morning and have been here this whole time watching you get bullied into bullying your ‘friend’. Why are you dressed like you're about to go to an expensive restaurant? And what books do you read? Hm?” James fired off at me. “Well, uhm, it makes me feel nice, and I actually read a lot of poetry.” I said shyly. “Wow, poetry boy wants to talk to me about literature, surprisingly. Want to tell me what the blue shirt that was mentioned once means?” James spoke in a sarcastic voice. I was going to clap back with a very thought out and clever response of a simple and strong “shut up!”, but the bell saved the dick from my very well placed response, so instead I simply flipped him off and left.

Today was such a weird and emotional day, I wish I had never written that letter to Pandora or met James. Maybe my life wouldn’t have gone so off the rails that weekend if none of that had happened.