Lover

Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Tell your friends you're out for a run

You'll be flushed when you return

Take the road less traveled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

And clandestine meetings and longing stares

It's born from just one single glance

But it dies, and it dies, and it dies

A million little times

Ashlynn rolled over as she woke to the sound of her phone ringing. She glanced at the clock on the wall beside the door.

"Fucking 5:36," she muttered darkly reaching for her phone that was still ringing.

Pandora groaned from the other side of the room, pulling her pillow over her head.

"Sorry," Ashlynn murmured as she looked down at her phone. No caller ID.

She hung up the call and put her phone back on the bedside table.

RING. RING. RING.

"ASHLYNN I SWEAR TO GOD I LOVE YOU BUT I WILL THROW YOU OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW IF YOUR PHONE MAKES ANOTHER SOUND," Pandora shrieked from her bed.

Ashlynn bit back a laugh and grabbed the phone, going outside and quietly closing the door to their dorm behind her, not really caring that she was standing in the middle of the hallway in nothing but trackies and a sports bra. No one was going to be awake at this hour anyway.

She swiped her finger across her phone screen, answering the call and pressing her phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Ashlynn?"

She froze. No.

"Ashlynn," the voice said again. Not a question this time. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move.

"Um, yeah, hi. Shit, Mia... what's up?"

Mia sighed and Ashlynn heard her sit down.

"I just... I wanted to talk. We left things pretty badly,"

"We?"

"Oh come on, Lynn," Ashlynn flinched at the old nickname, even though she knew Mia couldn't see her. "You know I couldn't leave. I couldn't! You can't blame me for that. I'm surprised you left, honestly."

"Are you?" Ashlynn replied sharply. "Did you really expect me to stay there? With my family and everyone else in that god-awful town?"

"I expected you to stay there for me."

"And I expected you to leave for me,'

She could hear Mia's intake of breath at that.

You see, she and Mia had grown up together. They had spent their whole lives living next door to one another, walking to school together, going for long walks to avoid their parents and, well, other things as they got older and moved into their teenage years.

Really they should've seen it coming, it was inevitable, really, them falling for each other. Falling in love with each other. However, they always had been different people. Mia just wanted everyone to get along, even if she sacrificed her own happiness to maintain that. She had also never really forgiven herself for her sexuality and Ashlynn knew. She knew that if Mia couldn't accept herself for being gay, she could never accept Ashlynn but it didn't change how she felt.

Ashlynn turned 18 after they graduated high school. Mia turned 18 two months before Ashlynn and when she did she immediately packed her things, ready to leave and she went to see Mia, to ask her to go with her. Mia had said no. What about my parents? Our families? We'll break their hearts. They don't deserve that. And besides, how could we explain this to them? What if they figure out what we are? Just stay, Lynn. Stay for me. It'll be ok. We can hide. It's easier to hide. They'll never love us if they know.

And Ashlynn knew that this was the end. Because she couldn't stay. Her parents and relatives had hurt her more than anyone else before. She could still hear her mother's voice in her ears after she accidentally told her when she was 11. All those horrible words. She remembered being hungry for days, locked in her room. She remembered her mother kneeling on the ground, praying to God to make her daughter better, to heal her.

So Ashlynn said goodbye to Mia and left. She blocked the phone numbers of everyone she had known for her whole life. She remembered that day, checking into a hotel and breaking down on the floor of the too-clean room. She hadn't been able to breathe. Tears cascading down her cheeks. What had she done? What was she supposed to do? How was she going to pay for things? She had applied for that art school? Maybe she could go there? They had offered her a scholarship after all. All she needed to do was accept it and they'd give her a dorm. But Mia. Oh, Mia.

The next day she had been desperate for anything. Anything at all. She couldn't look in the mirror without wanting to throw up her insides. She needed a change and what better place to go for a change than a hairdresser?

She had gotten a wolf cut, her hair almost reaching her elbows, compared to where it used to reach her waist and she died it bright pink. Then she had gone to a tattoo parlour, because, hello? She can do whatever she wants now and she's wanted a tattoo for a while now. She had gotten a light pink and black butterfly just above her right hip. It was small, about 6 x 4cm(2.4 x 1.6 inches) and she could pretend that it was just random, it had looked pretty, but it wasn't. She'd always had a fascination with butterflies because they symbolise new beginnings and this was one hell of a new beginning, one that she'd been dreaming of for years. It wasn't quite living up to her expectations, but she was sure it would work out, it had to. As for the pink, well that was simple. It was her second favourite colour(purple's first, obviously) and it matched her hair. Now, back to the present.

"You can't blame me for that, Lynn,"

"Ok. Why did you call then?"

"I was wondering if you'd come home,"

"No."

"Come on, Ashlynn. Don't be so stubborn! Your family misses you so much. They're worried about you. And I miss you. Come back. Then we can be together again. I love you, Ashlynn."

"In secret. Then we can be together in secret. Again. You know I can't do that Mia, I can't hide. Besides you know what my family's done to me."

"They're your family, Ashlynn! You have to forgive them. Why can't you just move on? You're always so stubborn."

Ashlynn laughed. Out of shock more than anything else.

"Oh, my, god," she laughed. "You did not just say that to me,"

Mia sighed loudly, sounding exasperated.

"God, you're a nightmare. Forget that for now though. You love me, Ashlynn. We both know you love me. Can't you just come back for me?"

Ashlynn froze. Because she didn't. She didn't love her. Not like that. Not anymore.

"No." She said quietly. "I don't. You're too late. I'm sorry."

"Oh."

Mia hung up.

Ashlynn sunk to the floor against the door and put her phone down, sighing and undoing the plait she had put her hair into to sleep the night before, combing her fingers through her hair.

It's ok. Honestly, it's Mia who's in the wrong, right? I mean she can't just expect Ashlynn to forgive her family like that. They abused her. And it wasn't her fault that she didn't love Mia anymore. She couldn't control that. And Mia had changed. She wasn't someone Ashlynn could love anymore. It broke her heart but it was the truth and there was no point in lying to herself or Mia about it.

She sighed again.

"Morning,"

Now that had Ashlynn jumping out of her fucking skin. She pressed a hand to her chest, looking up at the person who had spoken.

Lily laughed.

"Sorry," she grinned. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," Ashlynn replied, eyeing the other girl warily. "Why are you up so early anyway?"

Lily was wearing navy blue running shorts and a white singlet. Her face was flushed and her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, a few wisps of hair falling out around her face. Oh dear.

"Could ask you the same thing. I wanted to go for an early run before class."

"Oh," well that makes sense. What doesn't make sense is why a flustered, out-of-breath Lily Evans has her practically speechless. Well, it does make sense, she supposes. It makes perfect sense but perhaps that is the exact problem. "Um, I had to answer a phone call, and my roommate threatened to throw me out the window if I woke her up again so..."

She cringed at herself for her awkwardness but Lily just laughed. She was so pretty when she laughed... NO. No. She is not going to fall for a straight girl. Absolutely not. However, maybe she wasn't straight. It was wrong to even assume she was straight in the first place. And she had said that she loved the show Love, Victor, so...