The day Sirius crashed onto Remus with sobs everyone who heard would cry too, was the worst day for both Sirius and James
Sirius is understandable, it’s his brother for fucks sake, his brother died
James for one, the person who he loves who he loved, died and he couldn’t even tell anyone about it
Their relationship ended rocky, Regulus had just become a death-eater
I don’t think James had ever felt so betrayed, thinking about it now, I don’t think he’d care
He’d hug his arms and even consider for a second, should he become what he is, thankfully though he had anger towards the new fact, if he had felt sadness, the story would be so different today
He couldn’t show any emotions but pity for he’s long lasted friend, if he showed any more they’d be suspicious
But that night he cried he shouted, he screamed
Why the fuck is the world hating him? They knew so well how much he had loved Regulus Black, how much he’d do anything then to look at him for a single glimpse is crazy
But now on a cute little cafe with a stage for poets and slam poetry
No one in his friend group expected him to stand up and do what he is about to do.
First they thought maybe his gonna make a joke and shit
James didn’t cry, but his voice indicated that if anyone made a single noise he would
James stood up
“Woah James about to sing for me?”sirius smirked
James didn’t spear him a glance
He looked at his hands shaking holding a piece of folded up paper ignoring his friends he slowly made his way up the little stage
People clapping as he got on the stage
“This is a poem I made about, about a person I loved very dearly and sadly cannot say this to in person”james started
He took a huge deep breath
“I’ve never liked you, nor did I know you
But in those months that lead to almost two years, who knew how much I’d to for you
At first it was a cute crush, and somehow it ended up more I felt loved but it came all crashing down the day the news came out
‘He had died’ said by my best friend they didn’t even know how much I’d do for him then
He had died and my soul had left
He had died and why did he
He had died and why did I?
I said I love you and he freaked left and never came back just to tell me
‘I did this for you’
You didn’t
You did it knowing I’d leave
Why did you do it?
Did you do it cause I’d leave?
Did you do it cause you wanted to leave?
Was it me?
The news that you died I thought you come and apologize
Like I’d see you as a ghost cause that day I died too
Even if I smiled the very next day that was yours telling me to stay
The very next year I stayed to live a life you couldn’t live
A life you very much deserve
Is if selfish to say I’d do more then you’d think just to see your glimpse
I had died and so did you, but that burning sensation that you were walking me each step and somehow I’m now running
I’m running from you
Your memory
Cause now I like you
I love you, and I know you
So for you I won’t slow, I’ll run and won’t stop
cause soon I’ll see you
Soon we’ll like each other and soon we’ll remember each other
As I now love you, and I now know you”
The crowd slowly got louder with their snaps
As James got down the small stage he felt dissociated
He wasn’t there
Had Regulus finally left?
Had he stopped walking him?
He didn’t mind
And as he walked to his friends he saw Sirius staring at god knows what
James sat and Sirius quickly asked “you dated my brother?”
All James did was hum a quiet yes
Sirius had no words
He didn’t feel mad as he wished he did
All he did was hug the man that brought him from a dark place into his arms
If only he knew that his friend was in the same exact shadow and somehow got him out and stayed himself
“I love you James, thank you”he didn’t know what he was thanking him for but he did
It felt right.