handsome as hell
James was going out of his mind insane. Something had happened to change some part of Regulus’ mind. Regulus running from him in that bathroom stall had been expected. James understood why he had darted away from him. It was just that Regulus was running away from him everywhere else, too.
Regulus had always made it a point to ensure James knew he wasn't scared of him. This had always set Regulus apart from everyone else in his life who idolized him or feared him. Regulus had stood there, not charmed by James’ tactics, and hated him for it. It had been a breath of fresh air, even if it burned his lungs and his ego a bit.
But now, James didn’t know what to do. He and Regulus would film their respective scenes on set, and then whenever he tried to approach Regulus, Regulus would run like he had caught fire and James was gasoline.
Effie didn’t think Regulus knew about James being best friends with Sirius, and James trusted his mother wholeheartedly, but it was beginning to look suspicious. Perhaps Regulus had found out sometime after the concert. Maybe that was why he was avoiding James like the plague.
They had wrapped up filming for the week, and James was lying in bed in the hotel, trying to figure his life out due to boredom. He would begin returning to New York for the weekend tomorrow. James had been trying to fall asleep for what felt like hours, but life hated him as much as Regulus seemed to, so he had no luck. It was as if his body knew he didn’t have to wake up early for filming in the morning and didn’t enjoy the idea of getting enough sleep.
Around midnight, James decided to cut his losses and go to the bar downstairs. He didn’t plan on staying long, only to grab a glass of whiskey. Monty had always sworn it helped him sleep when James was growing up, and he would have been disgracing his father by drinking the cheap stuff in the minibar. However, James had always strayed away from copious amounts of alcohol because it would have affected his health, and the most important thing to him had been to stay at the top of his game. But that didn’t matter anymore, and James desperately wanted to sleep. He didn’t even bother changing out of his sweatpants and t-shirt to go downstairs.
James hadn’t thought much of it. It was supposed to be a quick trip, and it had been until James was scrolling through his phone at the bar, waiting for the bartender to get to his order, though there were very few people in the bar, when his plans had been deferred.
“James Potter,” a familiar drawl came from behind him, instantly putting a smirk onto James’ face.
“Regulus Black,” he responded, putting down his phone and slowly turning to reveal the image of Regulus in front of him.
Very slowly and very deliberately, Regulus looked him up and down, taking in James’ pajamas. “I never thought I’d see the day you went into public in pajamas,” he commented, a slightly insulting edge to his voice that James was obsessed with.
“I’ve been told I look particularly handsome in sweatpants,” James emphasized the word, forcing Regulus’ earlier comment in his face.
Regulus rolled his eyes in particular defiance. “Who’d ever find you handsome?”
While there were practically a thousand names and articles he could reference, one answer stood out particularly well. “You,” he whispered, but the way Regulus’ eyes widened for just a moment told him Regulus heard.
Perhaps it would have helped James’ predicament if he could have forgotten about Regulus. If he could have accepted that not everyone needed to like him, perhaps his life would have been easier. But how could he forget about Regulus when he stood before him–finally, mind you–looking so tragically gorgeous that James was sure Regulus could convince anyone he was some sort of god.
“Here’s your drink,” the bartender’s voice called behind him.
James nodded his thanks and grabbed the glass. He knocked it back, savoring the way the liquid burned down his throat. “Well, I should get to bed. It was nice seeing you, Regulus.” He paid for the drink, then, with one last glance at Regulus and defying everything that James actually wanted to do, he walked away.
* * *
Regulus was thoroughly fucked. He had been avoiding James like a full-time job, which was particularly annoying considering James was everywhere at his full-time job. Regulus acted in the scenes and did his duty, then fled. He had almost gotten through it. Regulus needed to last through the night without seeing James, and then he was free for the weekend. He could have a nice, quiet weekend where he could process not hating James as much as before.
He had been thinking about it at the bar. He had been trying to make sense of his treacherous brain when James had walked in. It was a crime against humanity how good James looked in sweatpants. It made Regulus want to kill him and then kill himself for it.
Perhaps it was the alcohol, or Regulus needed to get an insanity diagnosis, but he approached James. Regulus talked to James, and then James had left, and truly, maybe it was stupidity, but when Regulus saw that James had left his phone on the bar counter, he followed James. It wasn’t like he didn’t know James’ room number, and he figured James probably wanted his phone.
It seemed Regulus’ heart was equally a traitor as it was beating too hard once again. Perhaps instead of being intoxicated or medically insane, Regulus had a heart disease. Something had to have been seriously wrong with him.
Regulus tapped his fingers against the phone as he waited for the elevator to get to the right floor. He was outside James’ door, and the door swung open before he could even knock.
James was visibly startled at the sigh of someone at his door. “Regulus.”
“Not who you wanted to see?” Regulus teased.
“Quite the opposite, actually,” James responded softly.
His heart rate spiked to dangerous levels. If he hadn’t been in front of James, Regulus would have physically kicked himself. “Well, I brought your phone.” He held it out between them.
James chuckled lightly. “I was just about to go to the bar to get it,” he said, slowly taking the phone.
Regulus swallowed. “Right, well, I’d better get–”
“Come inside,” James interrupted. He said it so fast that Regulus thought it was a split-second decision.
“Why?” Regulus asked because this was entering dangerous territory.
This question surprised James, meaning he clearly hadn’t thought this out. However, he recovered quickly. “We have that big scene coming up next week, and it’d be good to go over it one last time.” He sounded like he was making it up on the spot, which he very obviously was.
“We’ve gone over that scene multiple times,” Regulus pointed out, resisting, but when James gave him that James Potter look–like he always said he wouldn’t–he folded. “Fine. Once.”
James moved out of the way, and Regulus entered with a sigh. He couldn’t believe himself. Regulus took one look at the armchair in the corner, which was overflowing with clothing, and decided not to sit there. This left him awkwardly standing near the unmade bed. James’ room was identical to his, but Regulus kept his neat and clean, and James did the opposite. There was nowhere to sit.
“Here, I’ll find the script,” James said hurriedly.
“You still need the script?” Regulus questioned, his eyebrows raised.
Holding a thick stack of white papers that looked like they’d been through Hell, James turned back to Regulus and laughed nervously. “No, I don’t suppose I do,” he admitted.
“Well, good to have.” Regulus grabbed the script out of James’ hands and flipped through them.
Each page was annotated, and not just with brief annotations. Multiple paragraphs of in-depth thinking and character analysis were there. James had put hours of work into understanding each of the characters and playing his role right. It was then that Regulus realized that perhaps this wasn’t just some pastime for James; perhaps he actually cared.
“Okay, where do you want to start?” James asked.
“You’re the one who wants to go over it, so you decide,” Regulus deferred.
James nodded, accepting the answer a little too easily. It was almost like he was… nervous? Regulus couldn’t recall a time he had seen the famed James Potter nervous. Besides, what was there to be anxious about?
“How about we go from when Seamus says ‘why are you here?’ when Brendan shows up at his door,” James suggested.
“Do you want to use an actual door?” Regulus asked though the question was more sarcastic than anything.
James took the question entirely seriously. “No, we can just go through the dialogue.”
Regulus leaned on the desk behind him, waiting for James to begin.
Clearing his throat, James looked down at the script, then realized he wasn’t even on the right page. “Why are you here?” he asked, saying Seamus’ line, but Regulus could tell he hadn’t become his character. He was simply saying the lines.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Come in; it’s freezing outside.”
By this point in the scene, they would have entered Seamus’ apartment and the kitchen.
“Would you like some coffee? Tea?” James asked, setting the script on the desk behind Regulus, awfully close. He focused entirely on Regulus because, apparently, he did have the lines memorized.
“Do you have anything with a kick to it?”
“I have very cheap tequila.”
“Oh, in that case.” Regulus rolled his eyes amusingly.
“What? Are you above cheap tequila?”
Regulus chuckled lightly. “I like to hold myself to better standards.”
There was a pause that lasted a moment longer than it should have in the scene. James just stared at Regulus in a way he couldn’t identify. “Why are you here, Regulus?”
The script said Brendan, and Regulus was sure of this. He knew the script said his character’s name, so he decided to continue with the script.
“I had to tell you that I finished the book,” Regulus said, hypertuned to how James took a step forward.
Brendan had been writing a book in the movie, a minor plot point, but it was what sent him off the edge. It was the reason there was a kiss in the following few pages of dialogue, but James and Regulus hadn’t practiced it. Mostly because Regulus always avoided it. He had a whole weekend to continue to avoid it.
Regulus took a very shallow breath and regained his senses. “I should go.”
Before James could respond, he stopped leaning on the desk, slightly brushing James when he took the first step. Regulus didn’t let himself look back as he left the hotel room and quickly entered his own. He threw his phone on the bed and shrugged off the jacket he had been wearing.
Rubbing at his eyes, he groaned. The problem was Regulus didn’t get crushes. He didn’t let his heart beat fast for a person. He didn’t get distracted. He didn't entertain anything that could last more than a night. Regulus didn’t give anyone his heart, not even a piece. It was bitter anyway. No one wanted it, and Regulus didn’t want anyone to have it. Regulus didn’t shy away from kisses in movies. And he most certainly did not dream of kissing James Potter.
There was a knock at the door. Against his better judgment, he answered.
Regulus swung the door open, wary about who would be at the door. A part of his mind thought perhaps Barty or Evan would show up, though they had gone out to some club as far as he knew. When they went clubbing, they didn’t return until the early morning, sometimes later. There was only one other option of who would show up at his door in the middle of the night.
James stood in the hallway, his hair more chaotic than usual, as if he had pushed his hands through it one too many times. He was breathing hard and looked more determined than Regulus had ever seen him. There was something in his eyes–
“We never finished the scene,” he breathed.
“What?” was all Regulus got out before James grabbed Regulus’ face and kissed him.
James walked forward, forcing Regulus to move back and further into the room, never breaking the kiss. Regulus heard the faint sound of the door closing, but all he could focus on was James's grip on his neck and the way he was pressed against the wall.
Regulus couldn’t have fought it if he tried. He ran his hands through James’ hair and pulled him in harder. He couldn’t tell who was in charge. He couldn’t tell you his name.
James’ hands moved at Regulus’ sides until they reached the hem of his shirt. Regulus didn’t fully realize what he was doing, fully preoccupied with James’ mouth until James pulled an inch away.
“What are you–” Regulus gasped, terrified at the way he sounded.
“Can I?” James tugged at Regulus’ hem again.
“What are you doing here?” Regulus managed to ask against all odds.
“I don’t know,” James admitted between fast breaths.
Regulus closed his eyes hard to get his brain to work, but all his thoughts were about James’ fingers now under Regulus’ shirt. “This– this isn’t a good idea.”
James shook his head. “I think it’s an excellent idea.”
“James, I– you– we can’t,” Regulus said, doing his best to keep reason within his grasp.
After a moment of consideration, James nodded. Without another word, he pulled away from Regulus and slipped out of the room.
Having used all of his strength to stop whatever had happened, Regulus’ knees gave out, and he slid to the floor. He was still breathing hard, able to feel his hot breath against his fingers that were permanently touching his lips. The mirror in front of him showed his flushed cheeks and swollen lips.
Regulus knocked his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He was thoroughly fucked because, in a few days, he had to do that in front of a camera and act like it meant nothing.