your last lie
9:47 P.M. February 26th.
After the last song was over, Remus turned to Regulus to start gushing about how incredible the concert was, but when he looked next to him, Regulus wasn’t there. Remus looked around but didn’t find a trace of him anywhere. He tried to remember when he saw Regulus last, but that had been a little less than halfway through the show when Regulus told Remus that he was going to the restroom. It couldn’t have been that long since Regulus had been by his side.
Remus pulled out his phone to call Regulus but saw it was dead. Remus had taken some photos and videos because, come on, it was Sirius Black. The battery in his phone was complete shit, so it ran out too fast, which meant that Remus didn’t know how he was going to get home. His phone was dead, and he didn’t know anyone at this concert since Regulus had disappeared somewhere.
Trying his best to think of a plan, Remus sat down in his chair. He supposed that he could check all the bathrooms, but there were so many, and he didn’t doubt the lines would be long with the concert having just ended. Then again, just how likely was Regulus to be in a bathroom hours after he had left? Remus did have his wallet, so he would try his luck outside the stadium with getting a cab.
Just as he was about to exit his row, a man at least a head shorter than Remus with sandy blond hair stopped before him. “Are you Remus Lupin?” he asked, eyes flickering to the seat behind Remus like he expected someone to be there.
“Yes?” Remus responded suspiciously. “And you are?”
“Peter Pettigrew,” the man responded. He looked very familiar. “A friend of Lily Evans’.”
Memories flashed in Remus’ mind of Lily mentioning a Peter she worked with and had grown close to. “Oh, you’re that Peter.” Remus held out his hand, and Peter shook it. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard great things.”
“Thanks,” Peter answered, genuine gratefulness in his eyes like he didn’t get compliments often. “I’m sorry for the intrusion, but where is Lily? I need to talk to her. I haven’t been able to reach her in weeks.”
Remus paused for a moment. He didn’t know how much he was allowed to tell Peter. Remus knew that Lily didn’t want everyone to know. She hadn’t even wanted Remus to know, so she probably didn’t want Peter to know either. But Remus could see in Peter’s nervous eyes that he was worried about Lily, just like Remus had been. That worry would eat Peter alive just like it had Remus.
“I know where she is, but I can’t tell you. She’s fine, though. I had to break into her apartment to keep her to answer my call, so it isn’t personal. I promise.” Remus hoped he had given enough and not too much. Peter didn’t look satisfied with the amount of information, but his worrying had eased at the very least.
“I’m sorry, I have to go find my friend. He disappeared earlier, but it was nice”–Remus’ eyes flitted behind Peter’s head, and he saw–“James?”
James’ head twisted in Peter and Remus’ direction, and he began walking toward them. “Remus, I’ve been looking for you,” James exclaimed and stopped in the aisle in between sections of seats. Peter and Remus moved to where he waited.
“What are you doing here?” Remus asked.
An amused grin erupted on James’ face. “Remember that best friend of mine who’s obsessed with your books?” Remus nodded. “Well, that just so happens to be Sirius.”
“I’m sorry?” Remus froze. If James was friends with Sirius, that meant that every time Remus had mentioned loving his music, his words had probably been transmitted back to Sirius. He was so embarrassed.
Wait, no, he didn’t have time for this. Regulus was missing. Why couldn’t his friends just stay in one place or at least tell him where they were going?
“Sirius is my very close, very old friend,” James repeated the fact Remus couldn’t focus on.
“I’d love to talk to you more.” God, that sounded so insincere. “I really would, James. But I don’t know where Regulus went, and I have to go find him.”
James went wide-eyed, which stopped Remus in his tracks. James knew something. Remus knew that he knew something.
“Regulus already left,” James said hesitantly. Remus couldn’t think of a single reason why James knew this.
“When? Why?”
“Maybe an hour ago.” A pause. “I think he should tell you why. He didn’t tell me why, actually.”
Remus figured that he could have probably guessed. He hadn’t missed the way Sirius had come to his section and been absolutely glued to Regulus. There was something there. Something Regulus hadn’t told Remus or anyone. Something Remus fully planned on figuring out tonight.
Taking a deep breath, Remus looked at both Peter and James. “Any chance I could borrow a phone to call a cab? Mine is dead.”
Peter let out a laugh but quickly shut it down. “There’s no way you’re getting a cab. Unless you have a ride ready or live close, getting out of here within the hour is impossible,” he explained.
“I have a car waiting to take my parents to my place. We could make a stop,” James offered, and honestly, Remus could have hugged him for that.
“You’re a lifesaver,” Remus breathed.
James clapped a hand on Remus’ shoulder and began leading him down the path to wherever this car was waiting. “I get that a lot.”
Remus looked at Peter—really looked this time. He had spent the last ten minutes worrying about where Regulus was and getting home so he could charge his phone and call Regulus, and he had completely missed it.
“You were on stage, right?” Remus asked, keeping his gaze on Peter.
“Yeah, I make some music with Sirius,” Peter responded, pride mixed with a bit of exasperation.
“When he says ‘some,’ he means pretty much every album,” James chimed in.
“That’s really cool. You were great,” Remus said, and Peter didn’t look like he quite believed it. “No, seriously. Your voice stole the show away. Do you have your own stuff out?”
“Not yet,” Peter replied, then his eyes widened like he hadn’t meant to say it.
Remus didn’t know whether it was because very few people were left where they were walking or if the people left were too tired to realize, but he was surprised that they weren’t interrupted. He was walking around with a man who had been on stage not two hours prior and one of the most famous soccer players of their generation, and no one noticed.
James nodded to a security guard who let them behind some tape and then led them down hallways. Occasionally, a window showed Remus just how many people were coming out of the stadium and going onto the street. Peter had been right; Remus would have had no chance at getting out of there with a cab.
They got to an area outside the stadium where Remus could see the trucks that carried the stage from place to place. It was chilly, so he pulled his jacket on and set the merchandise bag with Regulus’ shirt and jacket on the ground. A black car waited in the small loop Remus waited in front of. He assumed he was waiting for James’ parents.
He only realized there was a second door to the loop when it opened. Light poured out into the night, and Remus heard voices, though he couldn’t determine what they were saying. He only saw one-half of a person who appeared to be hugging someone. This person turned out to be a man who was the spitting image of James. The man walking closer to Remus had to have been James’ father. A woman walked out behind him, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that this was James’ mother. Peter slipped through the door, and so did James, leaving Remus alone, only a few feet from James’ approaching parents. Remus assumed that James was coming with them, but if that wasn’t the case and Remus was about to be stuck in a car with two strangers–
James’ voice drifted through the still-open doorway. “Sirius, are you…” his voice quieted so Remus couldn’t hear anything more.
A silhouette stopped in the doorway, though James’ father blocked their face. “Mum, Dad, thanks for coming. I’ll see you later,” said the silhouette.
“We were glad to,” James’ mother responded. “We’ll see you tomorrow.” She then opened the door and got in the car, followed by James’ father, who waved a hand.
This left no obstacle between Remus and the person standing in the doorway. Remus and the person staring at him from the doorway. Remus and Sirius Black staring at him from the doorway. Remus and Sirius.
There wasn’t a bone in Remus’ body that was willing to move because it felt like time had stopped. Every single cell in him knew just who he was looking at, and they all united to keep the moment going for as long as possible.
Sirius stared at Remus like he was starstruck or perhaps just mesmerized.
But there was something off. Remus couldn’t explain what, and he didn’t claim to know Sirius in any way. Though, Remus had seen pictures of Sirius. Pictures where he was happy and carefree, or at least acting that way. Now that Remus was looking at him, he saw the sheet of white that had covered Sirius’ face until he was unearthly pale. Remus might have convinced himself it was just the light, but he had seen this before.
He had seen this type of paleness on Regulus.
“Remus, I’m going to stay here for a bit. I told my parents that the car will drop you off, but I’ll text you,” James shouted from behind Sirius, shocking Remus back to life.
“No problem, James,” he called back, though somewhat distractedly. “Bye.” Remus kept his eye on Sirius until he had slid too far into the car to be able to see him.
There had to have been something wrong with his heart. He could hear it in his ears, and it felt like his head was underwater.
“Where to?” the driver asked. Looking at James’ parents, Remus realized the question was directed at him. Remus told the driver Regulus’ address.
“So, you’re James’ friend,” the man next to him, James’ father, said.
Remus felt a bit awkward. He didn’t like meeting new people, especially those he was supposed to impress. These were James’ parents, after all. “Yeah, we met about a week ago,” Remus responded.
“You’re an author, right?” the woman next to James’ father asked, leaning forward to see Remus.
“I am, Mrs. Potter,” he replied, realizing he needed to be respectful. “I have a few books out already.”
James’ mother laughed. “Oh, there’s no need to be so formal; you may call me Effie. How long have you been writing?” Effie asked warmly.
“I first published in high school, but I’ve been writing since I was four. I annoyed my dad about it quite a lot,” he admitted, laughing a bit. “I used to force my dad to write the stories I came up with on paper because I didn’t know how to write yet.”
James’ father laughed deeply. “I’m sure he was happy to help. Whenever James annoyed me about playing soccer with him in the yard, I would actually enjoy it. I’m Monty, by the way.” He held out his hand, and Remus had to bend his hand a bit to shake it.
“It’s nice to meet you. Did you guys enjoy the show?” Remus asked because it seemed like the easiest topic to approach.
“Oh, it’s marvelous every time,” Effie sighed proudly.
“We went yesterday,” Monty offered as an explanation. “We like to support Sirius, and as much as he doesn’t admit it, he wants us there.”
“How long have you known him?”
Monty looked at Effie, searching for an answer. “Since he was sixteen, right?” Monty asked Effie, who nodded.
“That long?” Remus hadn’t expected that answer. He had figured something bordering on a couple of years was likely, but if they had known Sirius for that long, it meant they had known him before he released anything.
“Well, we were visiting James’ grandparents in London, and one day, James brought this teenage boy with the thickest French accent you’d ever heard to dinner. He stayed with us for a few weeks and then found a job and moved into his own place,” Monty explained.
“James and Sirius kept contact until Sirius moved to New York and stayed with James. He’s come back with James to our place for every holiday since,” Effie finished the story, and there was one detail that Remus simply couldn’t overlook.
Sirius had shown up with a thick French accent. Everyone he had ever heard talk about Sirius said he was from England. After all, he had a British accent and had never denied the assumption.
They continued conversing until the car soon stopped in front of Regulus’ apartment building. “It was great meeting you two,” Remus said as he was climbing out of the car, and surprisingly, he meant it.
“You too, Remus,” Monty smiled widely.
Remus closed the door and walked into Regulus’ apartment building. He approached the security guard at the desk and asked if Regulus had come back yet. The security guard told Remus that he had. Remus thanked him and got in the elevator. It didn’t take him more than a few minutes to show up to Regulus’ door and ring the doorbell. When no one answered, he resorted to knocking until the door swung open.
Pushing past Regulus without a word, Remus entered the apartment and threw the bag with Regulus’ jacket and T-shirt on the table. He turned around to face Regulus, who was equally angry and confused.
“What are you doing here?” Regulus demanded.
“I’m giving you a chance to explain.”
“I don’t have anything to explain,” Regulus claimed, but Remus gave him a look that made him reconsider. “Fine, I got overstimulated at the concert, so I left.”
“Don’t play dumb. I’m not an idiot.”
“What do you want me to explain?” Regulus sighed, exasperated like he didn’t know precisely what Remus was talking about, but Regulus did.
Remus took a deep breath. “I’d love for you to explain how you and Sirius Black share a face and a last name.”
“That’s a–”
“A coincidence, I know. How about the fact that Sirius Black has led everyone to believe that he’s British? I learned a nice piece of information tonight. Sirius showed up in London with a thick French accent at sixteen. So, tell me, Regulus, why is it that when Sirius Black set his eyes on you, his face fell? Why is it the moment he saw you, he changed the lyric from sister to brother? Why is it that James Potter had to tell me you left? Why is it that you’ve been lying to me the entire time I’ve known you?” Remus demanded, only getting more heated with every question.
“What do you want me to tell you, Remus?” Regulus asked, on the verge of shouting. “Do you want me to tell you that I had a brother? Do you want me to tell you that he abandoned me in Hell when I was fourteen? Do you want me to tell you that there is a knife stabbing me every day because of what he did? Do you want me to tell you that I have a panic attack every time I see a mention of him?”
Regulus took a shaky, deep breath, but only fire was in him. “Do you want me to tell you that there is not one place in this world that would have been worse for me than that concert? Do you want me to tell you that he is the reason I can’t fully trust anyone? Do you want me to tell you, Remus, that I had a brother who left me bleeding on the ground with people who only beat me more, then dared to become the most famous person in the world and shoves his existence in my face every damned day? Is that what you want to hear? Remus?” Regulus's voice broke only on Remus’ name.
Breathing hard, Regulus only stared at Remus, his eyes slowly filling with tears. All the anger drained out of Remus as he marched toward Regulus and pulled him into his arms. Remus held him like he was about to slip from him, and Regulus almost clawed at Remus’ back like he was being ripped away.
Remus felt Regulus shake against him. He felt the tears that were soaking through his shirt. Remus had never fully taken off his jacket and he was hot, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that when his best friend needed his help. Though, he didn’t know how to help. Remus could hold Regulus through the night. He could stay with him, but it didn’t feel like enough. None of it ever felt like enough.