chasing fortune and fame

Sirius truly had never trained for anything harder in his life than this tour. It was predicted to be one of the highest-grossing tours of the decade, which meant that he had to be absolutely perfect. Everyone would be watching. He couldn’t miss a cue, and he couldn’t mess up. At least on opening night; after that, he could laugh the mistakes off. It was all very stressful, and sometimes he wondered if it was worth it. All the exhaustion and lack of privacy. But that was when he searched his memory for the faces of fans he met and saw in the crowds. He wouldn’t have changed it for the world. 

His water bottle was stuck at the bottom of his bag, so he had to rummage through it, crouching on the ground as his eight backup dancers moved past him, saying goodbye. He had gotten close to them. After all, they spent hours every day for months together. Four of them had even been on previous tours with him. Of course, they were all better dancers than he was, as he saw in the mirror in front of them as they practiced, but he felt like he had the choreography down. Truthfully, he could have probably done the entire two-and-a-half-hour show in his sleep with two left feet. He knew the steps that well. 

Finally reaching his water bottle, he pulled it out of his bag and twisted off the cap. He drank in large gulps as he heard a laugh from across the large dance studio. The voice behind the laugh was so familiar that he didn’t even pay attention to it before he had downed half of the bottle’s contents and felt like if he drank more, he might have thrown up. 

“That out of shape, huh?” the voice joked, and he finally looked up to see his publicist and one of his closest friends, Mary McDonald. 

Sirius wasn’t ashamed to admit that he would have been completely lost and probably hated if it weren’t for Mary. She was unapologetically herself in every situation, and she was one of the most beautiful girls Sirius had ever seen. The way she wore her natural, loose curls at shoulder length, her glistening brown skin, and how she never stepped out of the house without wearing the latest fashion made people stare in awe.

Thinking back on it, Sirius may have flirted with her the first time they met, but not soon after, he learned that she was solely interested in women. It was then that one of the most important friendships of his life began to take place, and he owed all of his fortune and fame to the women who now stood only a few paces away. 

He lifted the edge of his shirt to wipe away the sweat on his face and retied his hair. It almost reached his collarbone at this point. “I swear I’ve been training. I run through the entire show running on the treadmill every day. I just didn’t have time to eat or drink before this,” he explained, pulling the strap of his duffle bag over his shoulder. 

“You’re going to make yourself pass out with the way you don’t eat before training soon enough,” she pointed out. They had had this conversation many times before, but he never fainted, and he always pushed through lightheadedness. 

Sirius shook his head casually, trying not to appear worrisome because there was nothing to be worried about. “I promise it won’t happen on stage,” he vowed as they began to make their way through the building. The air conditioning was always on full blast, even during the winters. It cooled him down almost instantly, but he still wanted to stop  by his apartment for a quick shower. He would then head to the studio, where he would meet Peter. 

Mary took hold of his bare arm, forcing him to stop walking. She forced him to make eye contact, keeping her voice stern. “Not everything is about this tour, Sirius. Your well-being is important. I’ll cancel the entire thing if I have to.” She wasn’t bluffing, and he knew that. 

“I’m fine, love. Don’t worry about me. I just woke up late. If it makes you feel better, we can stop by and get some sushi,” he offered. 

She rolled her eyes, releasing her grip on his arm. “You’re just saying that because you want sushi.” 

He laughed. “I will neither confirm nor deny.”
“Well, even though the tour isn’t everything, it does start in a couple of days. How are you feeling?” Mary asked as they stopped at the exit. 

Sirius grabbed a hoodie from his bag and pulled it on. The first show would be in Houston, Texas. He would stay there for two nights before going to Dallas and then Austin, starting the trek of moving across the United States and playing countless shows. They would work their way up the East Coast until, about three weeks later, they would reach New York and do another three shows. After that, there was a month-long break before they went on the road for another month or two, visiting the rest of America. It would be a lot of planes, so a lot of donating to climate change organizations to offset the damage. Then there were also international dates in the summer, but they hadn’t confirmed all of the venues yet, so they couldn’t release the news to the public.

“Nervous, obviously,” he admitted, putting his winter jacket over the hoodie, leaving it unzipped. “But I’ve missed performing and the fans.”
She looked at him warmly, and he felt that warmth in his bones in a way no one else could make him feel. It was just how Mary was, and he trusted her with his entire life. “Well, they’ll all be screaming your name soon enough.” 

He chuckled. “Peter’s waiting on me, though, so I have to head out, but you’re still coming to Texas, right?” he asked, then, as he was waiting for her answer, pulled a thick wool scarf over the lower half of his face. It tickled his lips and nose, but it made him unrecognizable. 

“I can’t believe you insist on going like that into public. You realize you have enough money, and it’s safer, to have bodyguards near you,” she said, lecturing him like she had done so many times before. 

Sirius rolled his eyes and put on a hat that would cover the rest of his hair and forehead. “It’s winter, Mary. I can be disguised. It’s nice to not be important for a bit,” he confessed. “But you are coming?”

It was her turn to roll her eyes fondly at his stupid question. “I come on every tour you go on. I’ll be there,” she promised. 

She couldn’t see his wide smile, but it was there all the same. “Thanks, love.” Without another word, he pushed the doors and ended up on the ever-busy streets of New York. 

Really, it was only a couple of blocks to his apartment, but he walked as slowly as he could without running late. He loved almost everything that came along with his job, but it was nice to just occasionally be. He was so appreciative that his words were reaching people in a way he couldn’t have ever imagined, but he liked not being ambushed in the streets, too. 

There was something about writing all those love songs and singing them that made him crave the type of love he brought to life from his imagination. He had liked people, sure. He had written songs about them, and he had performed them. He wanted to fall in love, but everyone he met now only wanted to do with him because of his fame, and everyone he had met before was people he wouldn’t sacrifice for something as short-lasting as love. That left very few people to fall in love with, but perhaps he wasn’t meant to fall in love. 

Most people didn’t get as lucky as he had when it came to pursuing his dreams. Something had to give, and maybe that had been his ability to have a soulmate. He shrugged off the thought. Perhaps, if he really felt like processing that thought, he might write a song about it, but until then, the vibration of his phone, signaling that he had gotten a text message, was a welcome distraction. 

He checked his phone when he was in the elevator going up to his apartment to see a message from Mary. With a few clicks on his screen, he had their message chain open, and he saw her most recent message. A linked article and then a message underneath it telling him that she thought he would like it. Sirius was stepping into his apartment by the time he opened the article. 

James Potter and Sirius Black: Best Friends or Brothers? He laughed at the title. He didn’t read many articles about himself unless Mary sent them to him, signaling that they were okay to look at. When you got to be as famous as he was, people said things because they didn’t think you were human. It left scars, as he had learned fairly early on. 

The rest of the article had many photos of them throughout the years and even a deep analysis of whether the sibling he referred to in more than a few songs was actually James. He got a good few laughs at some of the inaccuracies of the writing, but he forwarded the link to James anyway. He then set the phone down and hurried to take a shower before he pissed Peter off by being late again. 

* * *

“You are absolutely insane,” Peter said the moment Sirius walked into the studio, not bothering to say hi or even wave. 

Sirius dropped his jacket on the couch along with his hat and scarf. “What did I do this time?” he asked, genuinely wondering. There were many reasons you could call him insane. He was questioning which one Peter had found. 

Peter scoffed, amused. “You’re going on tour in a couple of days, and you want to produce another song?” 

“Exactly. I won’t have much time after I get started, so we might as well start recording the songs you need for that movie you’re doing. What was the name? Seals in a Mist?” 

“Sealed With a Kiss,” Peter corrected. “But I guess you’re right. How many shows do you have?” 

He had to think for a moment. “Around twelve, I think, before we hit New York. Then there’s a month’s break, and we do another thirty for the rest of America. I don’t remember what breaks there are in the middle. Then there’ll probably be around thirty shows in Europe during the summer. I haven’t heard anything about Asia or Oceania, though,” he recalled, trying not to get overwhelmed by the amount of it. 

There would be three or four shows to play almost every week for the stretch of the East Coast, then two or three a week for the rest of America. He knew the schedule for Europe would be a little less packed. He was already aware it would be a lot of work and a lot of little sleep, but he loved going on tour. It was also planned that the tour would end in England, his home. After all, it was called The Star’s Journey Home, which he knew was corny, but it was a good theme for the shows. Most of his sequin outfits had some type of star on them, and even the stage would have pictures of stars. They really had gone all out for this stadium tour. It was his biggest one yet, and he couldn’t remember a day he had been more excited. 

“That’s… a lot,” Peter breathed, almost in awe of the fact that Sirius would do it. Sirius was also in amazement that he had the audacity to try, but if he wasn’t doing the impossible, he didn’t know what to do. 

“But it’ll be the best year of my life. Especially because you’ll be there with me.” He winked, and Peter threw an empty Pepsi bottle at his head. “What was that for?” 

“For being an idiot.” Peter sighed. “Let’s get to work. I have places to be after this,” he said, grabbing a guitar from the wall. 

Sirius glanced at his phone, which told him it was seven in the evening. “Where are you going? Do you have a date?” Sirius exclaimed. 

He couldn’t remember the last time Peter had gone on a date. Sirius remembered him mentioning a girlfriend from his hometown, but the last time he had lived there had been well over half a decade ago. Peter just wasn’t the type to casually date, not that Sirius hadn’t tried to set him up with people. Peter had always insisted he was fine on his own. 

“No, I’m just hanging out with a new friend,” Peter denied, not going red in the face, which meant Sirius knew he wasn’t lying. 

Grabbing an acoustic guitar from the wall as well, Sirius sat down on a chair in front of all the sound controls and computer. “Do I know them?” he asked, tuning the guitar, even though he knew it was probably tuned already. 

Peter did the same, not looking up as he answered. “Lily Evans? She wrote Sealed With a Kiss. We’re working together and had dinner the other day. We had fun, so we’re doing it again,” he explained, then, after a pause, continued. “You doing anything tonight? I think you’d like her.” Sirius paused for a moment. He was looking forward to a nice, quiet night in his apartment… “She’s best friends with Remus Lupin.” 

“I’ll come,” Sirius responded immediately. 

Peter laughed easily. “I knew that would convince you.” 

“Well, he’s a genius. I bought another one of his books the other day, and it was even better than the last one. It was about a spy mission in Helsinki in the 1950s. All the characters were happy, and then in the last fifty pages, everyone but two people died. They were all so close friends, fully family, and then they all died while the main character was on a remote mission. I think I spent five hours crying. I’m almost scared to read another book. They’re traumatizing me,” he ranted because once he got started on these books, he would never stop. 

“Save some of it for Lily. We have to get started on the song. I already have all of the lyrics.” 

They spent the next two hours revising lyrics, getting a melody, and even recording half of the song. Peter already had a plan for most of the song, so it flew by. Sirius vowed that he would stop by after the next day’s final run of the show before they took a couple of day’s break, so they were all well-rested for opening night. 

Peter led them through the streets until they reached the doors to an expensive-looking bar. There were gold details everywhere, and even chandeliers were hanging from the ceiling. Sirius had spent his fair share of time in bars. Playing them as well as drinking. But none of them had been anything like this. It looked like they only sold whiskey that had been aged for at least twenty years and like they actually cleaned the place every night.

There was even a wall of coat hangers that were partially filled with jackets and scarves. Peter and Sirius deposited their winter clothing, sharing a pair of hooks, and made their way into the establishment. Truly, Sirius was just following Peter, who had a set of instructions open on his phone in the form of a text message chain. 

Not a second later, there was a warm voice that called Peter’s name, and Sirius turned his head to see a woman already sitting in a red leather booth in the corner of the room. Peter visibly brightened when he made eye contact with her, and they made their way over to the booth. Lily Evans, Sirius assumed, wore a silk button-up with dress pants that looked like she could have just come out of a big meeting with an executive for her movie. Or perhaps she was just the type of person to wear business casual everywhere she went. Sirius only wore casual clothes, no matter the place. Unless it was an award show or a performance, he took those seriously. 

“Hey, Lily,” Peter greeted, shuffling his way onto the opposite side of the booth she was on. 

Sirius sat next to him, noticing how the freckles on Lily’s face were like a constellation. Lily had the type of beauty you associated with home. She was the type of rose your mother grew on the porch of your childhood home, and every time you saw those roses, you thought of her. Lily’s beauty was more a light summer rain than a stark storm. You noticed it, but then all of a sudden, at one moment lost in time, you noticed it. She smiled gently at Sirius, and he might have just written a song about it. 

“Who’s this?” Lily asked, making eye contact with Sirius. 

He had a feeling that if he had lied about his name, she would have gone along with it and not mentioned the fact that she knew just who he was. “I’m Sirius. Hope you don’t mind that I tagged along.” He held out his hand, and Lily shook it. 

She shook her head, dismissing his concerns. “Don’t worry about it. How are you guys doing?” she asked, directing the question to the two of them, but Peter was closest to her, so he responded. 

“We were actually just recording a song for your movie,” he said. 

Lily narrowed her eyes in interest. “How’s it coming along?” 

Peter took the question once more. “It’s alright,” he replied humbly, and Sirius wouldn’t have it. 

“Actually, it’s amazing. Peter wrote the lyrics, and they’re absolutely brilliant. He just doesn’t want to admit it,” he corrected as Peter grew slightly flushed at the compliments. 

“That does sound like him,” Lily laughed, lifting her glass to her lips and drinking the last of her drink. 

There was a lull in conversation, and he figured he’d give the two friends a few minutes to get another one started. “I’ll get drinks. What do you guys want?” he asked, already standing up. 

Repeating Lily and Peter’s drink orders, Sirius made his way to the bar. There were a couple people sitting, but other than that, there was really no one. He listened to the light jazz music playing as he waited for the bartender to finish making another person’s drink. After another minute and realizing the bartender had four empty glasses in front of him, Sirius figured that it’d be a while, so he pulled his phone out and saw James’ response to the article he had sent calling them brothers. 

James had sent multiple separate texts, many with emojis. James absolutely loved using emojis in a way Sirius would never quite understand. He laughed lightly at the last message: Maybe we are brothers. Should we get a DNA test? He replied, Definitely, and put his phone away, noticing the bartender was in front of him. 

He gave his order to the bartender, who didn’t give any signs that he knew Sirius. It could have been equal parts that he genuinely didn’t know him or that he had seen many famous people. This place seemed like it would attract a popular crowd. A few minutes later, he had paid and was walking back to the table with three drinks in hand, trying not to spill them. He placed Lily’s wine in front of her, Peter’s beer in front of him, and his own water glass in front of his seat, which he then took. 

“You don’t drink?” Lily asked, taking note of his glass of water.

Sirius shook his head. “Not this close to tour. I try to stay as healthy as I can,” he responded. 

She nodded, accepting his answer without a second of hesitation. There were many people who told him a glass of wine or a bottle of beer would be fine. He didn’t like them. “So, I hear you love my friend’s books,” she said, an amused glint in her eye. 

He turned to Peter with an accusatory look on his face. “Have you just been laughing at me when I was being so nice getting you a drink?” 

“I have, yes,” Peter admitted, unashamed. 

Turning back to Lily, Sirius was fighting a laugh. “I do.” 

As it seemed, it was Peter’s turn to call him out on his underestimate. “I swear, half of all of our conversations are filled with Remus Lupin this, Remus Lupin that. Literally today, he was going on and on about that book of his set in Finland,” Peter told her, and Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. 

“That might just be my favorite one. I promise I tried to talk him out of killing everyone off, but he was so intent on making a sad ending,” she revealed, and Sirius began to memorize every single word she said. 

“Did he want to kill me?” Sirius asked as a joke, but Lily took his question in all seriousness. 

“I believe his exact words were, ‘The more people that cry, the better. I want people to hate me because of how sad this book is.’ So, yeah, he did. You know, a couple more people were going to make it to the end, but then he realized it would make the devastating ending hit that much harder, so he killed them off.” 

Sirius fell against the leather behind him, almost in awe. “His cruel, brilliant mind. It’s genuinely the best writing I’ve read in my entire life,” he declared. 

She chuckled, taking a sip of her wine. “You could tell him that, and he would say that it’s because you haven’t read any actually good writing yet. He’s actually been getting into your songs.” 

“No way,” he said because he genuinely did not believe it. There was absolutely no possibility that the Remus Lupin thought his songs were good.  

“Yeah, I recommended you a while back, and he started listening to your albums. I’m pretty sure he’s memorized half of your lyrics by this point. He keeps on texting me lyrics and just going into a five paragraph analysis of them. The songs were supposed to help him write, but if anything, they’re distracting him.” 

Sirius laughed, taking a drink of water. “Good. I don’t want him to rip my heart out again. Maybe he could write a book with a happy ending?” 

“That’s not like him,” she laughed, shaking her head. “So, Peter, do you have any more of the album produced?” Lily asked, talking about the movie. 

Peter was carefully pulling apart a napkin and placing the trash in a neat pile. “I’ve got some of the lyrics for most of the songs, but not a recording. I have to set up some meetings with artists so we can record the songs I do have, but I should have enough songs produced to show you in a month or so,” he said. “We’ll have the songs with Sirius done only after he plays the shows in New York.”

Lily nodded. “Are you going to the tour?”

He snuck a glance at Peter, who was already looking at him, and saw that small smile he always had when he was withholding a secret on his face. “You could say that,” Sirius said slowly. “Should we tell her?” 

Peter nodded and turned to Lily once more. “I’m actually a surprise guest on a couple shows,” he confessed. “But don’t tell anyone.” 

There were very few people who actually knew about this arrangement. The head coordinators of the tour obviously knew as well as Mary and James, and they had told Marlene and Dorcas. His backup dancers also knew, but that was it. It wasn’t the end of the world if the news came out; after all, they could always change the date to keep people on their toes, but Sirius wanted it to be a surprise. 

“I won’t. God, I wish I could see it. I know you’ll be absolutely amazing. People will finally give you the recognition you deserve,” Lily said to Peter, and it warmed Sirius’ heart to know that Peter had found such a wonderful person who saw his value, too. 

Realizing that he had the solution to this problem, Sirius spoke up. “I can get you tickets to the show. Do you have plans on February 26th?” he asked. 

“You really don’t have to do that,” Lily began to refuse, but Sirius was fully confident she hadn’t been fishing for tickets. She only wanted to see her friend on stage. 

“I want to, Lily. I’ll even give you two tickets, on the condition you take Remus,” he offered. 

Perhaps he would see Remus Lupin in the crowd and somehow signal to him through his eyes that he needs to stop making his readers cry and start writing some books that won’t give people the need for therapy. Sirius thought about it for a moment longer and came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t do that. Remus’ books were so good because they were tragedies. It only made the good in them shine brighter because you knew that it would end. Plus, he would have to know what Remus Lupin looked like to spot him in a crowd. He made a mental note to Google him later.

“He’ll be thrilled,” she responded, accepting his offer, and Sirius couldn’t help but smile widely. 

They exchanged numbers, and Sirius promised to sort out the tickets for her the first thing tomorrow morning. They then moved on from the topic and got to the point that by the end of the night, they were making fun of each other. He got back to his apartment, and he knew that meeting Lily would fundamentally change the course of his life. He just didn’t know how, but he had a feeling it was connected with the date: February 26th.