chasing fortune and fame

James flipped through the thick, bound script that had been given to him, leaning against the headboard of his bed. He had gone through and highlighted his character’s name and the lines on each page. His highlighter had run out, so he had to go to the nearest store and buy another one. Well, it had come in a four-pack, and he had thrown the other three into some drawer where he would forget they existed. 

He had spent the last few hours reading and reading, then trying to memorize. He wasn’t going to memorize the entire script just yet, but there was a table read that day, and he didn’t want to come unprepared. James wanted to make a good impression. He wanted his cast members to like him. 

Sirius was lounging on James’ bed, tapping his pen against the notebook he leaned over. Sirius had always sworn that writing his songs on paper was better than typing them on his phone. He said it felt more personal. More real. James understood. He had a journal to process his emotions. His father had suggested it, and it worked for the most part. It worked better than opening a document on his laptop and typing there. Pen to paper just worked better. 

James took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes like he could force the sight of the words into his memory. He knew more scenes than he needed to by this point, and they wouldn’t start filming for at least a few weeks, but everyone was cast, so there was a table read to meet everyone. The email hadn’t said much. He sighed, knowing he would have to take a shower before he left. 

“What?” Sirius asked, abandoning his notebook, which didn’t seem like he had written anything in. 

Grabbing his glasses and putting them back on, James sighed once more, but this time it was more in defeat. He had never been one to hide his feelings. He loved outwardly and made sure everyone knew. He secreted happiness and oozed joy. It had always been that way, so he didn’t know how to be sad. Every time something bad happened, he threw himself into soccer. It had fixed the unfixable, but now he couldn’t. Just because he had a new project, it didn’t mean that losing what had made him the happiest didn’t kill him more than he had ever been hurt. 

“I’m nervous for today,” he admitted, because that was a feeling he knew all too well, and it was easy to admit. 

James was fully aware that he had had a very privileged life. He had friends. He had a family. He had enough money (that he often donated) to last him for the rest of his life. He had a job. Who was he to complain about his problems? People lost stuff all the time. Sirius had lost so much in his life. But it felt like James’ world had ended. Still, he was so used to not being chronically sad that it was a hit to his pride to admit that he could be. 

He didn’t want to be anything other than fine, so he stuck to his temporary feelings. Nervousness he knew like the back of his hand. That feeling in his stomach had accompanied him before every single soccer game he had ever played in, even the little league ones. Nervousness he could get over in a few minutes at least and a few days at maximum. 

“The table read is today, huh?” Sirius asked for confirmation, and James nodded his head. “Wanna talk about it?” 

James chuckled, but he didn’t quite know why. Nothing was funny. “I’d rather you distract me. I know there’s a reason you haven’t written anything in the couple hours we’ve been here,” he pointed out, and Sirius grinned, sitting up until James didn’t have to look down to make eye contact with him anymore. 

“I can't stop thinking about this book that Mary recommended. I read it in a night, and I swear it is the best thing I’ve read. It makes me want to write songs about it, you know? I swear, Remus Lupin is a genius. I don’t know how he does it,” Sirius ranted, a gleam in his eyes that appeared whenever he was on about something he was passionate about. 

James had heard much about this book over the days, but never the author or the name, just how spectacular it was. “Remus Lupin is the author, is he? What book is it?” James asked, intrigued. 

Sirius had read his fair share of books. James figured it had started out as a form of escapment and then turned into something he truly loved. Sirius just didn’t have much free time anymore. At first, it had been because he was trying to find his big break, and then once he had gotten it, he had been so concerned about etching his name into the industry. He was constantly writing new songs or planning something. 

His smile widened as he realized James was just as excited about his excitement as he was about the book. “It’s called The Skeletons of Paris, and James, the characters, the plot, and the ending– God, the ending. I cried, fully sobbed into my pillow, but in the good way.”

James laughed because something was actually funny this time. “I wasn’t aware you could sob in a good way,” he chuckled as he spoke. 

Sirius rolled his eyes fondly. “I didn’t either, but Remus Lupin is a wonder.” 

Pulling out his phone, James checked the time to make sure he wouldn’t be late, which if he didn’t start getting ready, he would be. “I’m going to go take a shower.” He got up and grabbed the towel that was hanging on his doorknob. The bathroom was down the hall, but he paused on his way there. “You ever thought about writing fiction songs?”

Sirius paused, thinking about it. “No, I haven’t. I write to process shit,” he said it like a joke, but James knew it wasn’t. 

“Well, if you’re inspired by the book, write about it. It’s not like you actually tell anyone what your songs are about,” James reasoned. 

“I tell you what my songs are about,” he objected, and James accepted his answer, but he didn’t fully believe him. 

He had heard about every person Sirius wrote his “love” songs about, but he also heard as Sirius overexaggerated his feelings. James had never seen Sirius love someone romantically. A lot of Sirius’ songs were about his family in one way or another, and while James had heard many stories and secrets he was sure Sirius had never told anyone else, he knew he didn’t know all of them either. Sirius kept mentioning a sibling in his songs, but James was certain Sirius didn’t have a sibling because he would have heard about it if he did. James was, however, fully sure that Sirius was lying when he said that the sister or brother he mentioned in countless songs was a metaphor. Perhaps, they were a childhood friend or a cousin he was close with, but Sirius hated all of his family. 

After his shower and walking out of his bathroom to see Sirius writing rapidly in his notebook, he got changed and made a quick lunch before heading out of his apartment. He knew better than to distract Sirius while he was writing. Once he got home that evening, Sirius would probably still be at his apartment with a finished song, waiting to play it to him. It had gotten to the point that Sirius spent so much time in James’ apartment that he had started keeping a spare guitar there. 

He hailed a cab as he ran a hand through his still slightly damp hair to make sure it looked okay. While he wasn’t sure what the appropriate attire was for a table reading, he figured that he couldn’t go wrong with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, under his winter jacket, of course. If his mom had forced one habit into him, it was to always bring a jacket when it was cold out.  

Once he had gotten a cab to pull over and gotten in, he told the cab driver the address and bounced his leg the twenty-minute drive there. He hadn’t brought his large script because he had been told that they were providing them, but he assumed that this meeting was more about the cast members meeting. Still, it didn’t make him any less nervous. 

They reached the building, and it took a cough from the cab driver to make James realize it was time to pay and get out. He stared at the building, which had to have had at least thirty floors on the edge of the sidewalk for a few minutes before he plucked up the courage to go in. He walked into a large lobby with shiny surfaces everywhere. The walls were practically only windows, and there were people walking and chattering wherever he looked. James walked to the elevators and pressed the call button for one of them. He opened the email on his phone that told him what floor and room they would be meeting in. He had about ten minutes before he was supposed to be there, but he figured it couldn’t hurt to be early. 

In the elevator, there was a mirror for a wall in which he checked his hair once more. His mom had always tried to force him to make it uniform, but James liked his hair as messy as it got. The doors dinged a few minutes later, and another lobby was revealed. This one was far more vacant, and he pushed past the few people there were, following the signs to the room he needed to be in. He ended up at a brown door, and he stared at it like it would open for him. He was just about to reach for the handle when a voice sounded behind him. 

“Are you going in or are you going to give the Force another go?” a man behind him joked. 

James turned to the man with a friendly smile who had stopped a few steps from him. He had light brown hair and tanned skin that reminded James of a friend from his hometown, but he didn’t mention it because he didn’t even know this man’s name.

“I’ll give it one more time, and if it doesn’t work, then I think I’ll just have to accept that my dreams of becoming a Jedi aren’t possible,” he joked, holding out his hand. “I’m James.”

“Frank,” the man said, taking James’ hand. “Now, go on.”

Laughing, James turned back to the door and made a show about closing his eyes and trying to open the door. He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t feel anything move, but as he opened his eyes, he saw that the door was open. He blinked in surprise and looked at Frank, who was in a different place than the last time he had seen him. 

“You didn’t have anything to do with that, did you?” James raised his eyebrows in accusation. 

Frank laughed easily and clapped a hand on James’ shoulder as he walked into the room. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Jedi.” 

Shaking his head in amusement, James followed Frank in, having found the courage. There was a large table with a stack of scripts in the middle. Large windows allowed for natural light to enter, and there were plants in many of the corners. The entire room was white, and it looked very corporate. It almost reminded him of his professional soccer days with all the interviews. 

There was a woman with pale skin and long black hair already sitting in a chair, but she was the only one in the room. Frank strode over to her, and James supposed that he should probably start meeting people. At least he didn’t have to choose who to meet first. Frank had more come to him, and now this woman was the only other person in the room. They were standing and easily chattering when James reached them across the room. He took off his jacket and draped it across the nearest chair. 

“James Potter,” the woman said, cocking her head to the side. He had never gotten an email about the cast list, just that he had gotten the role. If he had, he would have known this woman’s name as well, but he didn’t, so he felt a bit awkward. 

“I’m sorry, have we met?” he asked genuinely, racking his head for any memory of the person who stood before him.

She smiled and shook her head slightly. “No, my sister’s just a really big soccer fan. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She extended a hand toward him. “I’m Alice.”  

He shook her hand as relief set in. “Does she play?” he asked, even though there was this little gut-wrenching feeling that came every time he even thought of a field. 

Alice rolled her eyes and scoffed fondly. “Since she was three, and she’s been trying to rope me in for the past decade.” The way she said it told James that she thought it was the worst thing in the world, but he had a feeling it was sarcasm. 

“I may be a bit biased, but it’s not that bad,” he refuted, and she laughed carelessly. 

“And here I was thinking you couldn’t care less about sports,” Frank exclaimed, though it was more for comedic effect. 

James chuckled, raising his eyebrows. “What gave you that impression?” 

Frank drew in a breath through his teeth, going along. “All that Star Wars talk.” 

“I will have you know,” James said defensively, “I have never actually watched the movies.”

Alice gasped like she had heard the truth of the universe. “Absolutely disgraceful.” At her comment, James raised his hands in mock surrender.

Amid their laughter, two men walked in deep conversation. The one on the left had bleach-blonde hair that sharply contrasted with his deeply tanned skin. He was the one who looked at James first. There was something like interest in his gaze; he nudged the man to his right, making him look up as well. The first thing James noticed about this man was that he was Asian–Korean if he had to guess. It had been a long time since James had worked with another person of Asian descent. While he was fully aware that South Asia and East Asia were two completely different places, it was still a relation he hadn’t had before. Unlike his friend, he looked James up and down, and a crooked smirk struck his face. James didn’t back down; instead, he waited for this man to reach him. Frank and Alice were in their own conversation once more, and he didn’t feel like disrupting it again. 

“I haven’t seen you around before,” the man with blonde hair said, without offering a name. 

James didn’t get a moment to respond before the other man began to talk. “Yes, where have you been?” His short, black hair moved slightly in the air conditioning. 

James knew when he was being flirted with, and he found it a little amusing that this man was so very open about it when he didn’t even have his name. “I’ve been in New York the whole time. You probably just didn’t look hard enough,” he reasoned, not mentioning how he often flew out for games. 

“I don’t know, I looked pretty hard,” he responded, at a laugh from the blonde man. 

“Barty, you couldn’t even find your sock this morning after thirty minutes of searching. How much looking are you really doing?” the blonde man pointed out, and James felt like he was intruding on another conversation, but at least he got a name for the man. “I’m Evan, by the way.” 

“James,” he offered and snuck a glance at his phone to see the meeting was about to begin. 

Counting the five of them, there were still two chairs left to be claimed. They began to sit down until there was an empty chair next to James and across the table from him. To his left was Frank, who was by Alice. Skipping the empty chair, Evan and Barty took their seats to his right. He supposed it would have been good to ask who was playing what part, but he would ask that when everyone got there. As if on cue, the door opened once more, and James had to turn his head to see who had arrived. 

If he had thought that Regulus Black was stunning on the screen, James didn’t know what to call him in real life. James had seen his fair share of attractive men, but Regulus Black was the personification of god-like beauty. He was all sharp features and curly black hair, and James was sure he could have died for them in five seconds. Regulus wore a large wool sweater under his coat, and James was mesmerized. He hadn’t known that Regulus was in this movie, and he thanked his luck that he was. He got a grip on himself a second later. He was absolutely pathetic. 

Admitting Regulus was attractive was fine, but being mesmerized was a bit much. Especially because Regulus was his coworker and… glaring at him? Regulus’ eyes moved a second later from him to Barty and Evan, whom he walked toward. He stopped behind both of them, and Barty turned his chair to be able to talk to him better. 

“Minerva not here yet?” Regulus asked, shrugging his jacket off and placing it across the chair next to James. 

“Not yet, no,” Evan responded. “You’ll live another day.” 

“She really would kill me if I was late another time,” Regulus laughed, pulling his chair, but as he sat in it, he was still facing Barty and Evan. 

From the side, he looked a little like Sirius, but James pushed the thought away immediately. He knew Sirius didn’t have a brother, even if it was a little crazy how they had the same last name and looked related.  

Not a second later, an older woman stepped in, and the three men moved their chairs until they were sitting at the table and no longer grouping. She had grey streaks running through her brunette hair that was pulled into a tight bun. The room was silent as she moved through it. James had never seen this woman in his life, but perhaps he would recognize her name if it was given to him. She sat in the only vacant chair and grabbed a few folders from her bag and a notebook. 

Minerva, he assumed, set the folders in front of her and opened the notebook, taking a pen in her hand and looking up at the six of them. “I trust you all know your roles,” she stated with no doubt in her voice. 

They all nodded. James was playing Seamus, a boy in his final year of college at Cornell; this role was perfect for him. For one, he wouldn’t have to stay outside the city, and he was a perfect fit for his character. Seamus didn’t have a care in the world. He had a job lined up for him after school, and he often didn’t think about who he would settle down with. It was throughout the movie that Seamus realized he had other ambitions than just working at his father’s finance firm, and he stopped suppressing the fact that perhaps he didn’t like women in the way he wanted. This was all with the help of Brendan, a boy who liked to hide in corners of Cornell and stuck to himself. 

She nodded, taking in everyone’s faces. “Well, as you all know, this isn’t going to be very official. You are the main cast and will be working very closely with each other. This meeting will be all about getting to know each other so that chemistry will transfer onto the screen. There are scripts if you want to run through some scenes, but we’ll do an actual table read with everyone else sometime soon,” she explained. It was like the spell of silence was broken, and everyone began talking to each other again. 

Evan got up to go talk to Alice, so James figured he would take the opportunity to talk to Minerva. She was already looking at him when he passed Barty with a studying look like he was some puzzle that she could solve within a minute. Minerva stood as he finally reached her, and she was only an inch or two shorter than he was. 

“I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m James,” he introduced himself, placing a friendly smile on his face.

“We haven’t. I’m Minerva and the producer of all of this.” She gestured to the room, and he didn’t know what it was, but he got the feeling she was very experienced when it came to producing movies. He hadn’t paid attention to the credits to any movies he had seen, but he thought that if he had, he would have seen her name multiple times. 

“I must say,” Minerva began to speak once more, “I’m close with the casting director, and she spoke very highly of you, James. I expect great things from you. Hiring you was a risk; I hope you make it pay off.”

He felt a bit like he was talking to his teacher before a big test or perhaps his coach before a game. If he had been nervous before, he didn’t know quite what to call the feeling he had now. James felt the urge and the motivation to make this movie the next best thing in his life. Minerva’s eyes glimmered like she knew that she had gotten through to him. 

James made sure he looked calm and unaffected, even though he felt anything but. “I plan to. You didn’t make a mistake in choosing me, I promise,” he vowed, not quite believing his words, but he knew it was what she wanted to hear, and he figured that the producer was a good person to have on his team. 

Minerva smiled just like he knew she would, then flitted her eyes over his shoulder. “I’m glad to hear it. Now go meet your cast members. I’d focus on Regulus, after all, you’ll be working closest with him.”

James’ interest spiked. “Oh, who’s he playing?”

She laughed like he had told a joke. “Brendan, of course. The role was practically created for him. He truly is a brilliant actor, one of the best I’ve seen,” she praised, and James couldn’t help but look over his shoulder. She then smiled at him in finality, and he took it as his cue to leave. 

He had every intention of meeting Regulus, but he was pulled away by Alice, so James was left to meet everyone else, properly this time. He spent the next hour or two making his rounds through the room, asking what character everyone was playing, and making friends with them. Frank was playing Charles, Seamus’ best friend, whom he would often confide in throughout the story. Alice was playing Patricia, another friend of Seamus’, but she was also in Brendan’s close circle, which would bridge the gap between Seamus and Brendan. Barty was playing Parth, who would push back against Seamus in every way possible. As James had read Parth’s introduction scene, he realized it wouldn’t be hard to resent the character; as long as Barty played him right, James could easily act like he hated him. Evan was playing Zane, who would befriend Seamus throughout the movie. 

The sun began to set through the windows in the mid-afternoon, and by that point, James had gotten even Evan and Barty to like him. He had also discovered that Barty flirted with quite literally every person he met. Alice had eventually forgiven him for his Star Wars comment. In his entire conversation with Frank, James’ eyes had been pulled to where Regulus sat with a book propped open on the table, seemingly done with all of the socialization. He decided it was finally time to speak to Regulus. The longer he let it go on, the more he would grow nervous. 

James pulled the chair next to Regulus and took his place in it, to no reaction from Regulus. “Hi,” he said, pulling Regulus’ attention. He didn’t respond, only narrowing his gaze as if to ask why he was there. “I’m James.” 

“I know.” 

Regulus’ grey eyes were now boring holes through his, and the hatred in his gaze only gave James a strange thrill. “We’re costars,” he pressed on, hoping Regulus gave him something to run with, but once again, he got nothing.

“Again, I know.” Closing his book so his finger remained as a bookmark, he heaved a sigh and fully turned toward James. “What do you want?” He didn’t know how he would work beside Regulus Black and not get distracted constantly when he looked like that. 

James’ eyes flitted to the cover of the book that didn’t seem to be in English, but he put all of the French he remembered from high school, and with the help of some context clues and a similar cover, he identified the book as the one Sirius had been talking nonstop about. Then he saw the author’s name and realized he had done all of that work for absolutely nothing. 

“Is that the Skeletons of Paris?” he asked, ignoring Regulus’ previous questions. 

“It is,” he responded, suspicion coating every crevice of his voice. 

He let out a laugh of relief, finally something to go off on. He was good in social situations, but he wasn’t a wizard. “My best friend has been on and on about how amazing that book is. He won’t shut up about it. Do you like it so far?” he asked, because perhaps if Regulus did like it, he would read it. 

Sirius’ judgment wasn’t always the best. 

Regulus repressed a smirk that James might have missed had he not been fully focused on every little thing Regulus did. “I’ve read it a couple of times already,” he said slowly. 

James latched onto this bit of information and didn’t let it go. “You’ve read Remus Lupin’s other stuff, then?” 

“You could say that.” 

He couldn’t let this conversation die out just yet. “Is it any good?” he asked, even though he didn’t know another book Remus Lupin had written, but he knew there were a couple more than the one Regulus was reading.

“I’m a bit biased when it comes to reviews,” Regulus admitted. 

“Are they your favorite books or something?” James would read each of them just so he and Regulus wouldn’t fall into silence in the future. 

Regulus took a second like he was debating saying something. “I know the author,” he revealed. “I’m afraid I’m obligated to love everything he writes.”

James put on the act of making a tough decision by sucking a breath of air through his teeth. “I guess I’ll have to give his books a go. If you love them so much,” he said. 

“Did you not hear what I just–” Regulus was cut off by Barty smacking his head to get his attention. 

“Dude, I called you like five times. We have to go if we’re going to make that reservation,” he reminded. 

Regulus nodded his head, opened his book, glanced at the page number, and then shut it without another thought. He then tucked it into a backpack, leaving James to falter for his next words, but as Regulus was standing up, he found them. 

“Did you just memorize the page number?” he sputtered, pulling Regulus’ attention toward him once more. 

Regulus cocked his head. “Yes, some of us have the mental capacity to do so.” Then he walked off, leaving James speechless. 

“I’ll see you around,” Barty said, then winked smoothly. 

James was left alone to reel in his thoughts. So Regulus didn’t seem all too fond of him, and he didn’t know why. It was a nice little challenge because he would get Regulus Black to like him.