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Dumbledore was sitting in his office when he heard a soft thumping noise. Turning around, he saw an owl carrying a small brown box wrapped in a crab-themed ribbon.

getting up he snapped his fingers, the window opening on command (he wasn’tVoldemort's fear for nothing after all!) The owl flew in and landed on Fawks’s perch startling the Phoenix into moving. Gently grabbing the owl's claw, he separated the box from its leg and sat back down at his desk, turning over the box he looked for any clue to tell Dumbledore who sent him the package. After casting a few spells to ensure the box wasn’tdangerous he carefully unwrapped the bundle only to find a sack of papers and a ruby red apple, Dumbledore curiously picked up the stack of papers. He could tell whoever wrote it had doused the sheets into Veritaserum by the smell that instantly invaded his nose, meaning that whatever was written on the papers Dumbledore wouldn’t have believed originally. Reading the paper Dumbledore had become increasingly interested, greedily absorbing every word it was addicting‘Voldemort has a child? In Yokohama, Japan? Unknown by Voldemort himself? This was perfect! No… this, this was more than perfect, it was almost too great to be true!’ Dumbledore thought to himself ‘I will have you on my side… Dazai Osamu.’ Unknown to him a dark figure chuckled in the shadows, violet eyes trailed over to his companion and uttered a single sentence“остерегайся демонов гравитации” (which I think about translates to “beware the demons gravity” or something close to that)

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A certain brunette had just finished beating his little dog in another one of their dares, afterall his chibi had never once beaten him at one of their games, ever! Can you believe it? Anygaysthe punishment the redhead has to endure is that he has- “-to follow me around wherever your loving master goes!” Dazai taunted “WHY YO-“ “Huh? Well, Chibiko looks like all your brains have been replaced by anger! How sad, I might as well just die~” Dazai interrupted Chuuya, thesmaller boy aimed a kick at his head “Shut up you shitty bastard.” The younger dodged the attempt, instead of backing away or fighting back he grabbed his dog’s wrist pulling him onto his lap and wrapping his arms around Chuuya’s waist. Chuuya immediately flushed a bright red, contradicting his bright hair color. “That color of red looks bad on you Chibi~” he said, poking the elder's cheek. Chuuya flushed an even deeper red at the comment, this time it was in embarrassment.

Later that night

Dazai scrolled through his phone slowly running his fingers through a sleeping Chuuya’s hair, when suddenly ‘peck’ the ginger shot awake a red light surrounding him as he glanced around his bedroom (A/N I know I know, soukoku sharing a bed VeRy OriGinAL E! I’m sorry but Dazai breaks in so much that Chuuya got tired and just told him to move in.) “Calm down slug, it’s just an owl on the balcony” Dazai sighed, still scrolling through his phone “you shitty mackerel, you had something to do with this didn’t you?” Chuuya whisper-yelled partially muffled by him flopping back down onto the bed.“Ah! My dog is so disgusting!” Dazai yelled startling a sleeping Chuuya awake “WHAT THE FUCK YOU SHITTY BASTERD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” The shorter screamed aiming to punch dazai in the chest, Dazaiquickly dodged not wanting the elder to be the cause of his death. Afterall a death given by Chuuya was almost always without a doubt extremely painfuland Dazai had no wish for pain. Chuuya's punch just barely grazed Dazai instead going straight past him and into the wall, the force of the hit destroying the wall behind his bed“CHIBI!” Chuuya could practically feel Dazai’sfake disappointed glare

“why are YOU so sad about this, we both know there's another bedroom for us to share until this gets fixed mackerel''Chuuya said turning to Dazai with an annoyed look. “Of course I know that Chibi! I just didn’t realize your hat had eaten so much of your brain, I bet even Akutagawa could figure out the other problem you just let in.”

Dazai turned to his confused dog“what do you mean by the problem I just let in?” Chuuya snarkley replied, Dazaichuckled at the smallercute confused face‘I suppose I can tell him what I mean, afterall I am a good owner’ Dazai thought. turning to face his cute little dog “I mean the owl of course sincei’m such a good master to my dear dog I decided to tell him the owl outside got in~” he stated diving at Chuuya with the mission of having him fall and crush the intruding little beast ‘it’s fucking creepy as hell’ thought staring into it’seye’s just when his body hit the cold floor of the room. “Owwww! Chibi~” Dazai whined on the floor before getting up. “Oi Mackerel'' Chuuya said, crouching next to the owl, “hmm?” “it has a letter attached to it” now that was something Dazai wasn’t expecting. “Wellthen are you going to read it or are you to stupid to be able to read~?”  Dazai asked innocently, well both him and chuuya knew he was far from innocent “what the fuck did you say to me? I’ll beat your fucking ass,becidesit’s not addressed to me” Chuuya scowled“oh? then who’s it for slug” dazai retorted “it’s addressed to you, Dazai.” Chuuya had left the room with the excuse of ‘I need a drink’ leaving Dazai alone with the owl. who would write to him especially using an owl, atfirst he immediately assumed it was Mori, afterall that man only wrote missions down on paper. But then he remembered no human or animal would ever willingly agree to do anything for such a slimy man, so he immediately crossed that out. opening the paper inside the letter he read Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards) Dear Mr- he stopped reading and thought ‘wtf and who would answer to a headmaster who delivers letters using owls.’ Dazai threw the note away.

Chuuya’s mind was foggy when Dazai walked in“w-what d*hic* did the *hic* darn letter say?” He managed to slur attempting to walk to Dazai, “it was just some weird headmaster probably trying to persuade the infamous Demon Prodigy into going to their school, though now that I think about it the letter wasn’t English. Eh I doubt it has any meaning” Dazai complained while catching a falling Chuuya“Chibihow much di-“ he spotted 3 empty bottles of the shorters favorite whine “ah, that answers my question” Dazai sighed turning his attention back to the older “since I am such a good owner I decided I will help my dear dog to go back to sleep” the younger said smiling down at his Chuuya.“shut up you *hic* shitty bastard” dazai heard chuuya slightly mumble, though he chose to ignore it in favor of dumbing him on the bed in a certain fishes room.

They both woke up the next day. one boy grumbling about waking up the other over the massive hangover he had.looking around the room he slowly realized something was wrong.

“Dazai '' he said, as if whatever he was looking at would disappear the minute he looked away. Dazai looked towards Chuuya, hearing his obvious concern. “why the FUCK are there letters all over the room?! I swear if the is a prank I will fucking make you live for you're whole fucked up life, and will make every second painful” Chuuya promised turning to face Dazai. Dazai could practically feel Chuuya’s burning gaze ripping through him as if aimed to kill, but he couldn’tface him, insteadopting to stare at the pile of letters now covering the entire floor.

“I assure you Chibi I did not do this, but I guess since there all here I have to read one or more will come with each day” the fish now faces his dear dog, “stop calling me Chibi jackass! I’m still growing dammit! and if thats whats going to happen the I suggest you read one of them now before I kick you out to go live in that old fucked up shipping container form before asshole” the shorter boy yelled before pushing the younger off the bed. “wah! Chibi’s so mean to his owner, I could just die!” Dazai whined making puppy eyes at Chuuya “then go die already shithead!” Chuuya retorted as Dazai opened the first letter his hands found “and read it out loud “ Chuuya added “Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards) Dear Mr Dazai I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, fifth year, please meet us in London, Leaky Cauldron.From, Dumbledore (insert rest of titles here) hope to see you soon!” Chuuya and Dazai stared at each other for a bit, no one moving, “so are you going?” Chuuya started“ yes, I don’t want thousands of letters coming after me for the rest of my life but remember our deal?” Dazai asked, narrowing their eyes at their dog.

“of course I remember! I’m not stupid” he paused at the look on Dazai’s face“so, I’m going with you? Chuuya sighed wishinghe’d just stayed with the sheep, after he didn’t need to know about Arahabaki that bad right? but whatever they sleep together this couldn’t be THAT much different… right?

Dazai ended up forcing Chuuya to write the letter to Dumbledore for him.