Covered In You

“And the old widow goes to the stone every day
But I don't, I just sit here and wait
Grieving for the living”

**
James slams his hand against the wall next to Regulus’ head. Regulus is standing in the corridor outside of the empty Transfiguration classroom reading, one leg propped up on the wall, wand behind his ear. It’s a few weeks past the start of term.

“Potter,” says Regulus calmly. “To what do I owe this rude interruption. I’m trying to study.”

“You bloody well know what,” replies James removing his hand from the wall and pushing his glasses back up on his nose. His cheeks are red and his brow is furrowed. “It’s been weeks since we’ve been back and you haven’t even said a word to him.”

At this, Regulus flinches slightly, but recovers quickly, his calm mask restoring. He turns to face James, fixing him with a piercing stare.

“Didn’t think he’d want to see me honestly,” Regulus says. “Not after..” his mask slips and James notices this time. He can see the pain behind Regulus’ eyes. The cool gray in Regulus’ stare becomes watery, and James sighs.

“Why’d you let them do that to him, Regulus?”

“If you think I could have done anything to stop it, Potter, than you clearly don’t know a thing about it,” Regulus says, moving closer to James. “My family would have just turned on me next.”

He’s shorter than James by a head, but he stands tall and assuming like he could take on just about anything or anyone. He stares at James without blinking, without flinching. “You know I did all I could to help him leave that night. If I wouldn’t have cast at just the right time he never would have made it out of the door. I don’t know how he managed to get to your house James, but I’m glad he did.” Regulus pauses for a moment and then asks, “Is he ok?”

It’s so quiet when he asks, and James thinks, that the boy before him is really that. Just a boy. A boy fighting to be so much more than he really is, but it’s so obvious to James that he’s just pretending. “No, Regulus,” he replies. “He’s really not ok.” James turns and walks away.
**
—

Remus and Peter are huddled together at a table in the back of the library working on a Transfiguration essay.

“Leave it to McGonagall to assign 5 feet for the weekend”, says Peter, his face screwed up in concentration.

“It’s not so bad,” laughs Remus, who naturally is mostly finished with his essay.

The boys look up with a jolt when Sirius slams a letter down on the table in between them. A grin on his face, he casts a quick muffilato around them.

“Fleamont wrote me back!” He exclaims.

He opens the letter from James’ father and reads it aloud:

S,

Thank you for your letter, and thank you for trusting me with this. I hear your concerns about your brother, but I don’t think it prudent to discuss them any further through the post. Eyes are everywhere. I’m in contact with A.M. regarding this - will reach out to you boys when able.

F.

“Brilliant!” Says Sirius grinning. He places a hand on Remus’ cheek. “He’s gonna get Moody in on it. We might actually do this Moons. We could get him out.”

“Course we will Pads. When has Sirius Black ever failed at anything?” Remus replies with a smirk, running a hand down Sirius’ face himself.

Peter looks away uncomfortably. “So…” he says, still looking away from Sirius and Remus, “James’ dad really willing to help then?”

“Yeah, Pete. It would appear he is,” says Remus, still not looking away from Sirius.

“But, he doesn’t know about James and Reg does he?” Asks Peter.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” Sirius barks back.

“Nothing, nothing. I just didn’t think he’d be too fond of the relationship is all. You know purebloods and … stuff.” says Peter.

“Yeah, I guess Pete,” Remus replies through narrowed eyes, slowly pulling away from Sirius.

The three sit in silence for a moment, until Sirius breaks it. “Anyways. We have to clue in James. But, we have to be careful. We can’t speak about this outside of this group, ok? The Blacks have ears everywhere, and I’m sure my mother is itching to hear that I’m up to something. We can’t jeopardize this for Reg.”

“Course.” Says Remus.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Secrets safe with me.” Says Peter.
—

James and Regulus are laying on the floor in a classroom on the third floor. The door is locked and James has the Marauders Map, so they’ll see if anyone comes in. James has spelled the ceiling to flurry down snow. The heat from the fire place is cozy, holding them blanketed in warmth. The fire burns an orange glow, but the light coming off of the snow looks like stars in the night sky. Regulus can’t stop looking up, like he might see a constellation or two pass them by. They come here often after dinner to talk and just sit together away from everyone else.

James is on his side facing Regulus and counting the freckles on his cheeks. He pokes at them one by one, his soft fingers drumming against Regulus’ pale skin. James always has his hands on Regulus, always touching him. It’s like he can’t help it. Like he’s pulled towards him every second by an unseen force that pushes him to long for Regulus. “If you could be anywhere right now where would you be?” He asks.

Regulus doesn’t hesitate. “Right here,” he says. He clears his throat, embarrassed. He sighs, and turns to look at James.

“Stop looking at my like that, Potter,” says Regulus covering his face with his hands. He tries to let his guard down with James, sometimes it slips before he can catch it, but other times it’s not as easy. “I know what you’re going to say, so don’t.”

“I’m gonna say it anyways,” James smirks, turning on his side to face Regulus.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“Stop.”

“I love you.”

“St- what?” Stammers Reg.

“I love you, Regulus.”

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t… I didn’t expect that. James.”

Regulus sits up and pulls James up with him. He takes James’ face in his hands and kisses him. “I love you too.”

They stay in the warmth and safety of the classroom a little too long and Regulus slowly lets some of his walls slip.

—

Regulus leans against the dungeon wall outside of the Slytherin common room. He’s hesitating, briefly, unsure if he is ready for the onslaught of snakes behind the door. He puts his occlumency walls up. He is not afraid. He is not sad. He is not angry. He does not love James Potter. In fact he doesn’t feel anything at all.

“Serpentine,” he whispers to the door. It lets him enter with a creak. The emerald glow from the Black Lake casts a eerie shadow over the common room. The Slytherins sit mostly apart from one another, their heads bowed down to their homework or leisure. The room has a chill, the breeze blowing through seemingly from nowhere, as if the common room itself was a haunted house. Regulus begins his walk to his dorm room, but doesn’t notice the hulking figure jutting out to stop him.

“Black,” Severus Snape spats in Regulus’ face. “Where might you have been at this late hour? It’s almost curfew.”

“Aren’t you tired of this back and forth Severus?” Replies Regulus dryly. “I’ve told you before, my comings and goings are none of your business.”

“It’s my business when you spend time with blood traitors and filth. Who’s side are you really on Black?”

Regulus holds on to his walls, careful not to let himself slip. Could Snape know where Regulus had spent his time tonight? He moves hastily toward his dorm room, trying to maintain a his cool facade as he moves closer to Snape.

“Watch yourself, Black,” calls Snape. “Wouldn’t want to end up on the wrong side like that traitor brother of yours.”

Regulus huffs out a laugh and pushes his shoulder against Snape’s to pass him. “Is that jealousy I sense, Sev? Maybe someday you’ll be a part of the inner circle too,” Regulus calls over his shoulder as he makes his way to his dorm room.

Lucky that he’s skilled as an occlumens, he can keep this interaction short and without incident. Don’t let them see you sweat.

He braces himself on the door to his dorm room and sighs. He feels calm wash over him as he enters and sees his own four poster, emerald green hangings and sheets. Four beds are lined up against the wall - one for himself, one for Snape, one for Barty and the last for Evan Rosier. Regulus spots Barty on his four poster propped up, with his legs resting on Evan’s lap. They are deep in conversation, Evan looking over what appears to be a map. To anyone else, the boys appear as an inseparable pair of friends, but Reg knows better. He can see the way that Barty looks at Evan. The way his eyes automatically draw towards him every time he moves or speaks. They brighten whenever he is in Evan’s presence. Reg knows, because he looks at James the same way. It’s a shared secret between Regulus and Barty; another secret that ties their allegiance.

“Reg my dude!” Barty exclaims. “You’ll never guess the opportunity that just fell into our laps.”

—

James, Regulus, and Sirius sit in the Transfiguration classroom. It’s dinner time and they are taking advantage of the fact that most students should be in the great hall. There is less opportunity for eaves dropping. James is sitting on top of a desk, the Marauders Map splayed out in his lap, just incase. Regulus is in the seat behind him, arms around his waist, head resting on his back. Sirius is laying on his back on Mcgonagall’s desk. Regulus is explaining his upcoming mission for The Dark Lord.

“For some reason he’s picked the three of us. For tonight. There’s something he needs us to retrieve. Should be quick and without incident. Lucius will be with us.”

“We’re trusting Lucius Malfoy, because?” asks Sirius.

“Were not.” replies Regulus. “I mean, I don’t. But, it will look awful suspicious if I don’t go. Besides I’ve got to keep an eye on Barty, he’s a loose cannon, he’ll get himself killed.” I have to take care of him, Regulus adds to himself.

“Are you sure you can’t get out of this?” questions James. “I don’t like it Reg. Why would they want three sixteen year olds for a mission?”

“Because if it goes wrong it’s really no loss,”Sirius scoffs.

“It’s a simple retrieval of some order plans. We will be in and out; it will be fine.” Regulus says, with such finality it makes James change the subject. He has his own ways of keeping track of Regulus. James can always sense when Regulus is in trouble, he feels it somewhere deep.

“So, dad and Moody should be flooing us any day now and we’ll have our plan to get you home with us this summer,” says James. “We’ll have you out before they even see it coming”

“If you think they don’t already know, you’re seriously deluded,” says Regulus, shifting his weight slightly behind James. He’s uncomfortable.

“It’s true the bitch has eyes everywhere,” says Sirius rolling his eyes. “But, I think we’ve actually got the advantage this time, little brother. We can make the plan and get you out before you go back to that house. You’ll never have to go back there again.” Sirius sits up and grins wide at Regulus, all teeth.

“You’re right, our mother does have eyes everywhere, but their side is gaining strength and numbers. They are everywhere. We can’t underestimate them and what the Dark Lord’s followers are capable of.” Regulus shivers. James turns around, so that Regulus can lay his head in his lap. James brushes his fingers through Regulus’ hair.

Sirius gets up to stand and walks over placing a hand on Regulus’ back. “I’m not giving up, and I’m not leaving you behind this time,” he says. Regulus sighs, placing a hand on top of Sirius’ and squeezing. The brothers start as there’s a knock on the door.

“Don’t worry,” says James, moving to get the door. “It’s only Peter. I saw him coming on the map.”

—

“So, let me get this straight,” says Regulus. “Lucius Malfoy sent you an owl and said to meet him in the astronomy tower for a mission from The Dark Lord? And we’re just accepting this?”

“Yup,” says Barty. He’s walking backwards down the hall leading to the grand staircase, bouncing with anticipation. “He said the three of us were needed urgently.”

“But, why us?”

“Dunno, but I’m ready to prove myself aren’t you?” says Evan. The excitement is clear in his step, he’s vibrating with anticipation.

Regulus catches Barty’s eye and raises his brows. Barty knows that Regulus would rather be anywhere else, but he won’t say that in front of Evan. They walk along the corridor leading to the astronomy tower. Moonlight sneaks in through the windows casting eerie shadows that dance in front of them as they walk beckoning them forward. Regulus trails behind as Evan catches up to Barty, intertwining their fingers and laying a head on his shoulder as they walk. It would be so pretty Regulus thinks, the two walking hand in hand through the moonlight of the castle. If only they weren’t walking into impending doom.

Regulus breaks the stillness, “And we trust Lucius because?”

“Oh, Reggie boy! Don’t fret. We’re all on the same side!” Barty twirls his wand between his fingers as they ascend the stairs to the astronomy tower. Lucius is waiting for them at the top. Death Eaters, like him have ways of entering Hogwarts undetected. Evan and Barty drop hands quickly, unnoticed.

“Black, Rosier, Crouch,” sneers Lucius. “We’ve no time to waste. We’ll be flying. I trust you studied the map. Let’s go.”

“What’s the mission, Malfoy?” Asks Regulus. “What are we meant to retrieve.”

“No time for explanation just now, Black,” replies Lucius mounting his broom.

The boys follow, their brooms already waiting for them next to Lucius’. Regulus mounts his and sets off into the starry night sky, his stomach in knots. He has a bad feeling about this mission, but he can’t quite put his finger on it.

The air is fridgid. Winds whip them and Reg is struggling to hold on as his fingers freeze to the wooden handle of his broom. They take many turns, Regulus assumes to avoid suspicion incase they are followed, and after thirty-five minutes they touch down. They arrive at what appears to be an abandoned building.

As soon as Regulus sets his broom on the ground, he feels it. The hair on the back of his neck starts to rise and his skin prickles. They walk towards the abandoned building - there is a hole in the roof and the door is blown off it’s hinges already. Snow covers the ground and there are footprints leading from the front door around the back of the building. Though the leaves are all dead, ivy branches crawl up the walls of the building overtaking the windows and roof so that one side is completely covered.

“I believe what you’re here for should be right inside,” drawls Lucius, as if bored by the whole event. “You’ll know it when you see it.”

“Time to shine, boys!” cheers Barty, clapping his hands together.

Regulus, Barty and Evan step into the abandoned building. Regulus is in back of the other two, and stops thinking he hears a faint whisper. Just then a jet of purple light flies past his right ear. Behind him, he hears the crack of apparition and Lucius is gone.

“Shit,” Regulus calls, frantically looking back at Barty and Evan. “It’s a fucking trap.”

The boys duck as jets of light fly over their heads. Seven aurors have surrounded them and they are rapidly firing curses towards them.

“We are not prepared for a wand fight,” Regulus says, throwing up a shield charm just in time.

Barty runs for the nearest Auror and tackles him to the ground. Leave it to Barty, Reg thinks, to take the fight muggle.

Evan is behind Regulus firing off curse after curse. His spell casting is mediocre, but he is the best out of the three of them. As Evan hits one Auror with a body-bind Reg manages to hit another with a Stupefy. Barty is on top of the Auror he tackled, beating him senseless.

As Regulus battles with another Auror he spots Evan mid-battle with Alastor Moody - the only Auror he recognizes by face. He is impressed with Evan’s ability against the advanced Auror. He’s keeping up with the advanced spell casting and blocking Moody’s spells easily. Evan casts, and Regulus watches as Moody goes down with a scream, the right side of his face bloodied and broken. Evan turns and winks at Regulus. Barty is still pounding on the Auror on the ground. As Evan turns to cast at another advancing Auror, Moody stands

“Avada Kedavra” Moody screams suddenly and everything stops. Evan’s body falls in slow motion and Regulus watches as his head falls to the side, eyes wide open in shock. Barty screams but Regulus doesn’t hear it. He can’t hear anything. He watches Barty run from his spot on the ground, the Auror he was punching lying lifeless, and instinctively Regulus runs after him. He knows he can’t let him get to Moody. He grabs Barty around the waist locking eyes with Moody. He watches Moody raise his wand in their direction, just as he feels another set of arms wrap around himself and Barty. There is a tug somewhere behind his navel and he feels himself disappear into blackness.

“What the fuck was that!” Regulus screams, as his feet hit solid ground. They are in Hogsmeade, at the edge of the grounds heading back towards the castle.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Black,” Lucius Malfoy snarls. “Consider that a lesson. Remember where your loyalties lie, boy. Or we’ll take everything that matters to you. Including the Potter you’re so fond of. We’re always watching.” Regulus watches Lucius turn with a wave of his hand and walk away to leave the grounds. He is ready to chase after him, make him answer, when he hears a whimper and remembers. Evan is dead. Barty is next to him, on his knees in the grass, hyperventilating sobs causing his entire body to shake.

—

James pulls out the marauders map to watch Regulus. He sees his dot on the astronomy tower with Evan, Barty, and Lucius Malfoy. He watches nervously as Regulus disappears off the map entirely. James paces his dorm for forty-five minutes watching for any sign of Regulus’ name to appear back on the map when he finally sees it. Regulus Black and Barty Crouch Jr. are moving towards the castle from the edge of the map. And James knows that something is wrong. That something terrible has happened. He can feel Regulus’ heartbreak.