1947
When Snape entered the silent headmaster’s office after the welcoming feast the next evening, he was his old self again. His robes billowing behind him, his black eyes cold, his sallow face smooth but for a slight crease between his eyebrows.
With a lazy wave of his wand, he conjured a goblet, a water pitcher and a bowl of fruit. He walked around the desk and raised his hand to scratch the old man’s nose.
Dumbledore opened an eye. “How are you today, Severus?”
Snape sucked his teeth. "Tolerably,” he said, swinging the portrait open and shutting the conversation.
“Manners, Severus,” Dumbledore chided from the other side of the canvas, but Snape did not deign him with a reply.
He selected a few stacks of letters from out of the cavity and put them on the desk. He hesitated for a moment, tempted to leave the portrait open so that he could read in peace without the pair of blue eyes boring into the back of his head, but then he sighed and clicked the portrait shut.
He sat, this time in the great headmaster’s armchair and poured himself a goblet of water.
“How was the feast, headmaster?” came Phineas Nigellus’ nasal voice behind his back.
“Tolerably,” Snape said, unfolded the letter and started to read.
Nurmengard, 7th of January 1947
Dear Albus,
Why did not you tell me you would come? Our meeting could have been different, Albus, if you would have given me time to prepare myself.
Gellert
Hogwarts, 12th of January 1947
Different in what way, Gellert? Prepared, how? You would have employed more subtle forms of manipulation, is what you are trying to say?
Nurmengard, 20th of January 1947
What I am trying to say, Albus, is that I am sorry it went that way. I was desperate to protect myself against your judgement, and I lashed out against you. Had I known you were coming I would have been calmer.
I might have been able to understand that you had come to seek a connection, not to judge me. But you did not know it yourself, did you? You came on an impulse after having spent New Year’s eve aching, brooding (and drinking mulled wine, I presume). I might have taken pity rather than offence.
Give us another chance.
Your friend
Gellert
Hogwarts, 2nd of February 1947
Why deny it? You are right, of course. A part of me hopes that this connection is still there, buried beneath all the bad history, beneath the decades of silence. That the friend I lost is still there, buried beneath the man who tried to subjugate the world.
You are right: I am still aching. A part of me is forever trapped in the nightmare that was the 14th of August 1899, reliving it again and again. It is there when I fall asleep, Gellert. In my dreams I scream, I throw myself in front of her, I reach out to my brother and hug him, or you, or both of you, I cast shield charm after shield charm, I change the cause of history in millions of different ways. But when I wake up, it is always the same. I am reminded of it as soon as I wash my face and look into the mirror to see the nose that Aberforth broke in his fury when he punched me during her ceremony.
Would you have stayed, Gellert, if Ariana had lived? Would I have persuaded you to leave the Muggle world alone?
Probably not.
We are no longer teenagers. I made a mistake in coming to Nurmengard. Whatever closure I can find for myself, I need to find it alone.
I hope you can find your own peace some day, Gellert. More than ten years of violence, so much blood on your hands. I am sure it haunts you at night and I don’t think I am strong enough to face it with you.
Albus
Nurmengard, 10th of February 1947
Dear Albus,
Thank you for your openness. I appreciate it.
You are being a bit melodramatic, though: I never tried to subjugate the world. What I did was convince the Austrian Ministry of Magic to end the statute of secrecy so that wizards could take their proper place in society before the Muggles plunged the entire continent into chaos. You may remember that I got elected as Minister for Magic, that all the actions I took were lawful. Other governments were inspired by my example, maybe, but I had only little influence on them. Yes, I used what some would call ‘Dark Magic’. Yes, I used violence, and my followers did, too. But it was tame in comparison to what the Muggles did.
I am not saying I did not enjoy wielding power. I did (as do you, by the way), but world domination was never my goal.
Peace and closure, Albus? I am a Seer. A Seer can never have peace. I am haunted, not only by one summer’s night in 1899, I am haunted by all the possible pasts and all the possible futures. There is no peace for me. I have accepted that decades ago.
Think it over, Albus, before you turn your back on me. We are connected, you and I, in almost all of those pasts and futures.
Your friend
Gellert
Nurmengard, 20th of March 1947
Dear Albus,
I finally finished my paper: ‘Redefining Gamp’s fourth exemption - a theoretical approach and its practical implications’.
Where does life begin, Albus? Where does it end? Where are the boundaries of magic? I know that such questions interest you, so here it is. If you ever care to read it, do tell me what you think.
You are very welcome to submit it to ‘Transfiguration Today’ under your name if you deem it good enough.
Gellert
Hogwarts, 25th of May 1947
Gellert,
You know that healing magic is not my forte, so I may not be the best of judges when it comes to Gamp's forth exception. Regardless, I can see that your work is exceptional.
After a good deal of internal debate and some laying awake, I decided to send your paper to Lancelot Prewett, a healer at St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries in London and an old acquaintance of mine, asking him for his opinion. To be honest, I regretted my decision the moment I had sent the owl on its way. But if I can support you in applying yourself to something good - shouldn't I better do it?
Lancelot's return owl came the very next day, inviting me to lunch in the Three Broomsticks, a pub down in the village. He told me he was impressed and wanted to meet the author to discuss a collaboration. He already had some ideas for the study design of the practical experiments, he said. If only I could give him the contact details.
In lieu of a better reply, I said that the paper had been written by a promising seventh-year student of mine, who was not ready for publication.
He laughed in my face. ‘Why so mysterious, Dumbledore? What’s wrong with the man? Has he got Dragon Pox or is he sitting in Azkaban?’
I could have offered to forward your communication, but I did not find the idea in the least appealing. So, I left him without an answer nor a way to contact you. After two more weeks of mulling it over, I decided to tell Lancelot the truth. Or at least parts of it - that we corresponded on transfiguration theory in our youth and that you sent me your recent work. He was predictably shocked, and I took my leave shortly after. I do not think he will get in touch, I must say, but I wanted to tell you that I tried. Whatever I may think of you, Gellert, and whatever the world may think of you - this is a brilliant piece of work.
Albus
Nurmengard, 30th of May 1947
Slightly presumptuous of you, wasn't it? I cannot recall that I gave you permission to go looking for 'collaborations' on my account or even to disclose me as the author to anybody. Beneath the great Albums Dumbledore to ask, was it?
What did you think was going to happen next? That the College of Sorcery in Paris would offer me a position as professor for Transfiguration?
I must presume that you meant well, 'supporting m in applying myself to something good', but it is not appreciated.
Gellert
Nurmengard, 14th of August 1947
How are you faring today, Albus?
Will you go to Godric’s Hollow to put down some flowers or are you too caught up in your self-pity? Bring a rose from me if you go, will you?
Gellert
Hogwarts, 16th of August 1947
Why are you so intent on antagonising me? What do you hope to gain? Some minor interruption of your boredom? You must have a low opinion of yourself indeed if you think that this is the most promising way to form a connection.
Albus
Nurmengard, 21st of August 1947
You mistake me, Albus. I am not intent on antagonising you - I try to nudge you in the right direction. Tell me, honestly: would you have gone to Godric's Hollow on Ariana's death day if it hadn't been for my letter? I am asking the uncomfortable questions and I put the finger where it hurts so that you have to open your eyes. Isn't that what friends are for?
Gellert
Hogwarts, 26th of August 1947
How can you know these things? We have barely spoken or seen each other in decades. How can you know that I felt unable to visit Ariana last week and that I did go, your crumpled letter in my fist and seething with anger, and that I was utterly relieved that I did?
Nurmengard, 29th of August 1947
Dear Albus,
I did not know, but I am somewhat gratified to read that I was correct. You forget that I see you in my dreams, and I have done so for many years. My gift is a slippery one, as you know: Some of the things I see come to pass, others do not. I need to sift my dreams carefully, look for patterns, for probabilities, for reoccurrences. But even with a lot of false guesses, I can still make you out quite clearly, Albus. Don't you see how useful I could be to you if you let me?
Gellert
Hogwarts, 9th of September 1947
Gellert,
if you truly want to try this, if I am supposed to try this, then here is my condition: no games. None of your games, Gellert. I am not going to be your toy again. Start playing and it will be the end of this. It will. You may think this is another empty threat and I haven't been following up on those very well in the past, I know. But Merlin help me - I will not be your toy again.
Could this be something more than a game to you?
Albus
Nurmengard, 5th of November 1947
Dear Albus,
Alright. No games.
I do not want you to be my toy. Not anymore.
Let us try. Please.
Yours,
Gellert