Hate + Love = (?)

Sure. 

Jhoanna and Aiah are friends but it also cannot be ruled out that they are enemies. The only probable reason why others are labelling them as friends is the fact that they are within the same circle of friends - together with six other girls. If that is not the case, they are surely plain enemies. 

But if you will ask the two why they are enemies, they can provide a whole presentation, a paper or even a mind map of endless reasons to that question. 

Aiah hates Jhoanna’s cockiness while Jhoanna hates Aiah’s mighty attitude every time she loses to her. 

Aiah hates how the younger girl is getting on her nerves while Jhoanna hates how Aiah is so demure with other people but with her, she seems like a warrior who always picks a fight. 

Aiah hates the latter’s annoyingly cute features while Jhoanna hates the other girl’s annoyingly perfect face. 

The last one might make anyone think that they just have a crush on each other and are reeling their pent up admiration by acting as if they loathe the very existence of the other.

But no. They will clarify this one. 

They vowed to everyone that they will never harbor any feelings for each other except hate and annoyance. 

Love is never and will never be in the equation between Aiah and Jhoanna.

Hindi sila papayag. 

As per their words - verbatim: Mas mabuti pang mamatay nalang kaysa magkagusto kay Aiah/Jhoanna. 

Just like how they became rivals in academics and even in real life - them bickering and contradicting each other is not a rare occurrence anymore. It would be more surprising if they are on good terms. Ang tanging panahon lang na magkakampi si Aiah at Jhoanna will probably be in debates and quiz bees - when they’re the representatives of their school for the said competitions. Other than that, they are the typical rivals who hate each other’s guts to the core. 

“Ayan na naman sila.” Sheena cannot help but to point out as the ruckus caused by their two friends played in front of their very eyes. Napailing nalang ang iba pa nilang kasama sa table. 

Other than the two who are now clearly getting worked up while getting their point across, continue in chewing their food. Sanay naman na kasi sila sa dalawa. Kung sa first year ng pagkakaibigan nila ay inaawat pa nila si Aiah at Jhoanna, ngayon ay hinahayaan nalang nila because they know too well than getting in between the two whose pride is as high as the tallest mountain there is in this universe. 

“Ang boring naman kasi talaga, Aiah.” Jhoanna groans in frustration for the nth time after seeing the schedule prepared by their class president for their field trip. 

Aiah leans forward, now taunting Jhoanna, “Kapag may napilayan ba sa atin. You’ll take responsibility?” she reasoned out because Jhoanna for some ridiculous reason like wanting to have fun suggested that they do relay races as activities which Aiah contradicts as this likely ends up in disaster - fractures and injuries. 

Jhoanna scoffs before replying, “Hindi naman kasi lahat ay lampa katulad mo.” to say that it hit Aiah’s nerve is an understatement. Even a few of their friends let out a gasp. Particularly Sheena and Stacey whose reactions are sometimes over the top.

A moment of silence passes while Aiah tries to conceal the disbelief and anger that courses through her system at the latter’s words. Inisin niyo na siya sa lahat ng bagay, huwag lang talaga when it comes to her physique. She is well aware of the fact that she is not that active physically. 

She jogs, yes. But when it comes to sports and other outdoor activities that require physical strength, it is always a losing battle for her. Honestly, it is one of her insecurities. Kaya niya naman kasing sipagan sa pag-aaral pero pagdating sa physical activities, she did try back then pero tinatamad talaga siya kalaunan. 

Kasi naman…

Who the hell would want to run under a scorching sun? 

Who will practice nonstop for a few hours after dismissal just because of a basketball game? 

Who will do drills just because their coach said so? 

She is not that silly. Unlike this girl in front of her who has the audacity to freaking insult her. 

“Kami na ni Mikha kay Jhoanna. Stacey and Maloi, kayo na kay Aiah.” Colet simply uttered with a heavy sigh. Agad namang tumango ang mga pangalan na natawag, understanding their assignment as if it is their second nature. 

The four girls counted in their heads habang nagpipigil ng galit si Aiah. Si Jhoanna naman, imbes na makonsensya, she continues to smirk at the older girl. She doesn’t feel sorry any bit. Sa dalas ba naman ng away nila, may nasasabi din naman si Aiah sa kaniya. Kaya it is always a tie. Talo ang pikon. Clearly, this time hindi siya iyon or so she thought. 

Sensing that she cannot keep her cool anymore due to the smirks thrown at her instead of apologies, kaagad na padabog na tumayo si Aiah as she lunches forward towards Jhoanna, “Anong lampa?! Baka gusto mong balibagin pa kita! Come here.” Galit na saad na Aiah habang pinipilit na abutin si Jhoanna. 

Heeding to Colet’s earlier words, Stacey and Maloi abruptly held the older girl’s wrist on each side, preventing any violence from taking place. 

“As if kaya mo.” Hindi pa rin tumitigil si Jhoanna and she never plans to stop. Aiah’s annoyed face is what she looks forward to every day. Pumapasok lang ata siya para makita ito to be honest. Now that it is on full display, her day is already complete and she is enjoying every bit of this moment. 

“Halika nga dito at itry natin!” pinipilit na pumiglas ni Aiah pero it was futile since hinihigpitan din nina Maloi and Stacey ang kapit sa kaniya.

Having thought of a perfect counterattack, her angry expression morphed into a cocky one, now smirking, at the girl. Syempre hindi siya magpapatalo, “I even beat your ass sa quiz bee last week. Why would you think that I cannot even beat your ass. Physically naman this time.” 

If kanina ay si Aiah ang inis, mapapansin naman na si Jhoanna na ngayon. The tightening of her jaw and how her haughty attitude immediately disappeared didn’t go unnoticed. Hence, Colet and Mikha stood up preparing to do what Maloi and Stacey had been doing all this time to Aiah. 

It is now their time to do their assignment. 

True to their words, they held Jhoanna, trying to keep her in place as she too is now launching forward towards Aiah. If the older girl gets worked up with her performance when it comes to physical activities, Jhoanna’s trigger button is when Aiah will keep on bringing up the times where she earns the second spot in competitions/events against her. 

Last week kasi ay may Mathematics elimination round na naganap for an inter school competition. Being the top two students, they were invited together with the other three candidates to have a friendly competition - whoever wins will be the representative of the school. Hindi naman na ito bago sa kanila at hindi na rin bago ang resulta. 

Aiah is mostly hailed as the chosen one, much to Jhoanna’s dismay. Hence, it is another event that Aiah can utilize in order to get back at the younger girl’s teasing. 

At ginamit niya na nga ngayon. 

Ang dalawang hindi nautusan para umawat ay nagpatuloy lang sa pagkain, glancing at their friends from time to time. “Jhoanna?” Gwen asked Sheena while putting a thousand bill atop the table. Kaagad naman na nagets ni Sheena ang ibig sabihin ni Gwen. Ngumisi ito bago dumukot ng one thousand sa wallet niya. 

“Deal. Si Ate Jho manok ko this time.” Ibig sabihin kasi ni Gwen this time ay si Jhoanna ang feel niya na unang magwawalk-out. Sensing that mas naiinis ang mukha ngayon ni Aiah, kaya ang pusta ni Sheena this time ay ito ang mauuna na aalis. 

It simply happens that they got to this point - them betting about the two to make things more exciting. Just like how Jhoanna and Aiah have been on each other’s throats ever since their freshman year. 

It is almost natural. 

“Sayang 1k.” Bulong ni Gwen habang nakanguso at sinusundan ng tingin si Aiah na ngayon ay padabog na umalis sa cafeteria. 

Sheena on the other hand, smiles victoriously at how things unfolded.

Easy money baby. 

“Keep it up, ate Jho.” she uttered to Jhoanna who's now seated, refusing to look at Aiah’s retreating figure.

“Please lang. Nakapag-away naman na kayo kanina. Pwede bang ceasefire muna ngayon?” Colet pleaded while looking at Jhoanna and Aiah as they waited for the traffic light to turn red for them to cross the street. 

After their dismissal, the group of friends decided to chill in the nearby mall to destress. Next week kasi ay banat na naman sila sa pag-aaral since midterms na by the end of the month. 

“It's not me who started it a while ago. Ang isa diyan ang pagsabihan mo.” Aiah replied, throwing Jhoanna her infamous glare. She even crossed her arms in front of her chest.

The latter feigns an expression that she is offended, even putting her hands on her hips as she faces Aiah, “Wow ha. Edi sana kung nakinig ka muna sa akin before making that schedule edi wala tayong problema.” 

Colet looks so done at the moment. Feeling like she even instigated a fight rather than preventing it. 

Aiah was going to retort a reply but the traffic light turns red so she keeps her words, making sure that she remembers to get back at Jhoanna later. 

“Dito ka nga, lampa ka pa naman.” The younger girl commanded, pulling Aiah towards the safer zone of the sidewalk. Si Jhoanna na ngayon ang nasa side sa tabi ng daan mismo. 

If ‘Dito ka nga’ lang ang sinabi nito, pwede pa sigurong mag thank you si Aiah. But Jhoanna’s next words brought her back again to their bickering during lunch time. She cannot help the annoyance to resurface. 

“Nakakaini—” naputol na naman ang sasabihin ni Aiah when the latter slightly tugs at her waist making her swerve towards her. The reason? A man walking opposite to them is about to collide with Aiah. Sa sobrang inis kasi ni Aiah ay nakatuon na ang buong atensyon niya sa demonyong nasa tabi niya kaya hindi niya napansin ang lalake. In her defense, panay din kasi ang cellphone ng lalake so it is not solely Aiah's fault. 

In the first place, bakit ba kasi sila sabay maglakad at bakit din nakahawak pa rin ito sa bewang niya?!

Sensing their proximity, Aiah angrily removes Jhoanna's hand on her waist and even puts a safe distance between them as if the latter is a type of virus. 

Jhoanna lets out a few humorless chuckles at Aiah’s actions, “Diring-diri ah?” It doesn’t hurt her one bit but her ego is surely wounded. 

“Sige diyan ka.” Jhoanna lowly mutters as she holds Aiah’s shoulders and gently (but her grip is far from being gentle) pushes her towards the throng of people. 

Walking ahead of the two, their friends are oblivious to what’s currently happening. Aiah was too caught off guard at the latter’s actions kaya hindi siya nakapiglas kaagad. When she bumps into someone, doon lang siya binitawan ni Jhoanna at nauna nang maglakad. 

“Ikaw na nga tinutulungan. Ang dami pang arte.” she hears the latter murmur under her breath as she passes by her. 

“Himala ata at hindi kayo nagbabangayan ngayon.” Sheena pointed out while waiting for their orders, darting her eyes at their two friends whose seats seem like the north and south poles, clearly avoiding each other. 

At her words, she was immediately shushed by Colet who was beside her, “Baka ma-jinx mo.” Bulong nito habang tinatakpan ang bibig ni Sheena. Despite their curiosity growing, they never ask the two about what’s happening. Afraid that they might disrupt the peace that only comes once in a blue moon.

Maloi slightly leans her head on her right, her gaze sharp and is unyielding as she observes Jhoanna and Aiah - trying her best to figure out what is wrong. 

They are now in a bookstore after their dinner to restock their school supplies. But ever since they went inside the mall, the two never spoke a word to each other. Their dinner was miraculously quiet and peaceful, save for the playful jokes and banters instigated mostly by Sheena and Stacey. Ang leader nilang tatlo pagdating sa kalokohan na si Jhoanna ay tahimik lang na kumakain ng ramen. 

Which is really an odd occurrence. Mas dapat pa nga ata silang kabahan sa nangyayari ngayon kaysa sa nag-aaway ang dalawa. 

By now they should have been criticizing each other’s choice in pen, in a book that one is reading or anything that they could bicker about. Surprisingly, Jhoanna never spared a glance at their older friend. Aiah on the other hand, is a little fishy. Maloi notices starting from their dinner how the older girl is sometimes looking at their other friend discreetly. Right now is not an exception. Hence, she is squinting her eyes at the scene in front of her as if she is a detective trying to catch the culprit for a case she is investigating. 

If there is one thing that Maloi is proud of, it will be her observation skills. At this specific situation, with how they act with each other, she guesses that it is Aiah’s fault. She might have done something to offend the other girl. Kasi if si Jhoanna ang may kasalanan, she will be all over Aiah, annoying the hell out of her until she forgives her. 

So ganito pala ang mangyayari kapag si Aiah ang may kasalanan. She nodded her head in understanding as if she just solved the hardest puzzle in the world. 

Kumapit naman si Stacey sa balikat niya as she too observes her friends who try their best to not be in the same shelves, “Ano na, teh? May idea ka na ba kung anong nangyayari diyan sa dalawa?” 

“May masama talaga akong kutob eh.” Si Sheena naman this time ang nagsalita sa kabila ni Maloi. 

“Feeling ko ito na ang simula ng love story nilang dalawa.” she utters with a smile, her voice full of certainty.

“Paawat ka naman, teh.” 

“Impossible. Itigil mo na ‘yang pagkadelulu mo, Loi. Nakakasira ng utak ‘yan.” Sunod-sunod na sambit ng dalawa na para bang ang iniisip niya ang pinaka-imposibleng mangyari.

We’ll see. She’s never been wrong when it comes to her guesses. Naprepredict nga niyang magiging sila ni Colet soon. 

With that thought in mind, she happily skips towards the girl who is now busy reading a book. 

“Hi, baby ko.” Maloi sweetly utters, clinging unto Colet. Napabuntong-hininga na lang si Colet nang malaman kung sino ang kumakapit sa kaniya. 

She is familiar with the voice. Kahit pa siguro nakapikit siya ay mahuhulaan niya kung kaninong boses ito. Sa araw-araw ba naman na ginawa ng Diyos, never ata siyang hindi tinawag ni Maloi na baby. Being in the same friend group made it worse. Nasanay nalang siya one day and since then ay hinayaan niya nalang si Maloi sa pangungulit niya. Hindi rin naman kasi ito titigil kahit sabihin pa niya nang paulit-ulit na hindi niya ito gusto. 

See? She is not even resisting. 

Kailan mo ba ako titigilan, Yves?

“Mag-away kayo.” Colet simply utters with a hint of playfulness but full of challenge. She then proceeds to open the door of the taxi. Pauwi na sila at as usual, si Jhoanna at Aiah ang maiiwan. Silang dalawa lang kasi ang magkaparehas ng daanan pauwi while their other friends are on the other way. 

Napatawa naman si Sheena habang papasok rin ng sasakyan. 

With curious gazes, the two in question look at Colet, slightly taken aback with what she said because by now she should be warning them not to fight. But here she is, saying the exact opposite.

“Never naman kayong nakinig sa akin kapag sinasabi ko na huwag kayong mag-away. Sige na, mag-away na kayo kaysa sa hindi kayo nagpapansinang dalawa.” Litanya niya and soon closes the door after saying her goodbye with a sly smirk and amused eyes. The car sped up and what's left are Jhoanna and Aiah who are now standing awkwardly beside each other. 

For some unknown reason, parang hindi nga nila trip na mag-away ngayon. 

“Una ka na.” Jhoanna ushers for Aiah to take the next taxi who's now awaiting in front of them.

“Hindi na, ikaw na.” the other girl refuses adamantly. Hindi niya man gustong aminin pero parang nakokonsensya na siya. She never knew that her action a while ago could make Jhoanna react like this. Palagi naman kasi niya itong tinataboy. 

So, anong problema nito ngayon?

Nakakainis. Aiah hates it when she cannot figure out the reason for things. Hence, the reason why she studies hard. She wants to know so she takes as much information as possible.   

No! She denies with all her heart. It is not that I am interested in knowing more about Jhoanna. Bakit ko naman gugustuhi—

Her mental ramblings get cut off when she feels that the girl is pushing her towards the vehicle just like what she did a while ago, Jhoanna even opens the car door for her. 

“Pwede ba kahit ngayon lang, makinig ka sa akin. Hmmm?” A sigh of relief was heard when Aiah was successfully but gently being pushed inside. 

Unlike the happening that transpired a while ago, this time, Aiah did something. 

Aatras na sana si Jhoanna nang hilahin siya ni Aiah, making the two to sit side by side with each other. 

Jhoanna looks at the latter with wide eyes, clearly flabbergasted at how things had turned out. Never pa kasi silang nagsasabay na dalawa. Aiah just throws her a lopsided grin and a shrug and soon proceeds in saying to the driver the name of their subdivision. 

Yes, you've heard or read it right. They unfortunately live in the same subdivision. Fate must have been pulling all its strings to make their lives a little more miserable. Sa dami ba naman ng lugar na pwedeng lipatan nila Aiah from Cebu, sa subdivision pa nila Jhoanna naisip ng mga ito na lumipat. 

As if it's a consolation, their houses were situated blocks away from each other which makes it rare for them to cross paths. Well, hindi rin naman nila gugustuhin na magkatagpo. 

“Alis na. Bilisan mo.” as if Aiah grew two heads, kaagad na napatingin si Jhoanna sa kaniya, her expression is not feigning, she is now clearly offended. Kanina lang diring-diri ito sa kaniya tapos ngayon pinapaalis na siya kaagad. 

Aba! Sumusobra na ‘tong babaeng ito! 

“Talagang aalis ako!” was all she sternly uttered, her annoyance is evident in her voice. Jhoanna is even sporting a pout and her eyebrows are knitted while trying to pull the car’s door handle. 

Jhoanna tries her best to open it as soon as possible because she doesn’t want anything at this moment other than to be away from Aiah. She cannot stand to be in the same cramped space with the older girl any longer. It is truly plausible that Aiah might become the cause of her death. Feeling how her blood really boils due to the latter’s immature tendencies simula pa kanina. 

As she unmounted herself out of the car, a paper bag was handed hastily at her, followed by the abrupt closing of the door. Aiah didn’t even give her a chance to react or even say anything. Jhoanna’s anger is now mixed with confusion, staring at the leaving vehicle. 

After recovering, to finally ease her confusion first, she opens the paper bag. But it didn’t ease anything, this action of Aiah even made it more confusing for Jhoanna. 

It is a poetry book from one of her favorite poets, Lang Leav. ‘The Universe of Us’ written in a much larger font welcomed her line of sight. This is the very book that she has been eyeing ever since she found the poetry books section of the bookstore. Kung hindi niya nga lang kasama ang mga kaibigan niya, paniguradong binasa niya na ang nilalaman nito. 

Turning to the first page, a light blue sticky note stood out with a one word scribble from her enemy. Jhoanna hates to admit this to herself but since then - she knows Aiah’s handwriting by heart. Kaya alam niyang sa kaniya talaga ito galing. 

Neat. 

Well calculated. 

And if writings bear confidence, for a fact, Aiah’s would be full of it - in a good way. ‘Unlike her attitude’, if Jhoanna may add. 

Sorry. 

There it is. The rationale why the older girl is giving her this. It finally eases some of her confusion. 

Take note - some.

Because right now, Jhoanna is still wondering why Aiah will give her this.

Yes, it is to say sorry. 

Yes, this is somewhat a peace offering. 

Yes, dapat lang gawin ito ni Aiah kasi naiinis na talaga siya kanina. At first. Pero kalaunan ay ginagawa niya nalang ang hindi pagpansin dito para magpapansin. In hopes that the older girl will be kinder to her or at least not push her buttons. 

But how this day ended is beyond Jhoanna's expectations. Kasi never naging ganito si Aiah sa kaniya which incites the other half of her confusion.

Hence, even if Jhoanna is well-aware that this might be just the older girl’s way of saying her apologies to her, she still cannot help but to ask - ‘why?’ 

Hindi naman ito ang unang beses na may binigay si Aiah sa kaniya. Kahit magkaaway sila, on their birthdays, they still give each other gifts. But this is the very first time that Aiah gave her something out of the usual reason of it being her birthday. 

Questions swirled at the back of Jhoanna’s mind along with a feeling that she will never want to recognize.  

Bakit? 

Anong nakain n’on? 

Marunong naman pala siyang mag-sorry. Bakit ngayon lang niya ginawa? 

Ano pa kaya ang pwedeng mabigay sa akin ni Aiah? (insert evil laughs right here.)

“Dalawa bibilhin mo?” Maloi asked as soon as Jhoanna stood behind her at the counter holding two tubes of pringles - original flavor (her usual) and a BBQ one. Sa BBQ flavored one nakatuon ang buong atensyon ni Maloi, her expression questioning. Ngayon lang kasi niya nakita si Jhoanna na bumili nito. Kung si Aiah pa siguro ang bibili ay expected niya na. 

Wait. 

Oh?

Huli pero hindi kulong!

As if a lightbulb was lit up above Maloi’s head, feeling like she already connected the dots. 

“Gutom ako.” Jhoanna plainly reasoned out. 

“Junk foods talaga? Mabubusog ka nga talaga diyan.” Sarcasm filled her voice. She has a goal in mind, to catch Jhoanna's lie. 

Kaya lang hindi na ito umimik ulit despite her incessant questioning about the BBQ flavored Pringles. Jhoanna even pay for hers which heightens her doubt. 

“Tara na. Nasa room na daw sila Maloi.” Colet announces to the group and then proceeds to stand up. Sumunod naman ang lima. May binili kasi sila Maloi at Jhoanna sa 7/11 at since may time pa naman bago matapos ang lunch break nila, the others opted to just lounge in the cafeteria talking about the usual things. The usual things revolves around chismis, buhay ng ibang tao at mga ganap nila lately. Marami pa atang buhay ang mapapakialaman nila kung hindi lang nila need bumalik na  sa classroom.

Aiah sighs as soon as she settles herself on her chair. Even though she is studious, she cannot deny that studying is exhausting in all its forms - mentally, physically and all the words that end with ‘lly’. 

Huh? Kanino galing ‘to? 

Confusion was etched on Aiah’s face because upon opening her bag, a tube of Pringles came into view. Not to mention that it was her favorite flavor - BBQ. When it comes to chips, she prefers all the BBQ flavored ones. And among the BBQ flavored ones - she likes Pringles the most. Hence, she can safely deduce that whoever gives her this knows her too well or really exerted an effort to know this preference of her. 

She inspected the container for any clue but it was to no avail since there is no note or whatsoever. 

More than being thankful for the gesture is her growing curiosity. 

A secret admirer kind of setup is not new to her. Back then she even receives flowers, chocolates and all the cliche things you can give to someone you harbor feelings for. However, this is the first time that someone gives her something that she really likes. As if knowing her too well. 

Kasabay nang pagtatanong niya sa sarili niya kung kanino ito galing, for some unknown reason, her eyes darted on Jhoanna who’s seated a few tables away from her.

For another unknown reason, the girl immediately ducks her head, covering her face with the book she is holding. 

Jhoanna curses under her breath when she meets Aiah’s curious gaze. 

Teka nga lang. Jhoanna backtracks. 

Bakit ba kasi siya nagtatago? Wala naman siyang balak na hindi ipaalam kay Aiah na siya ang nagbigay nito. Baka isipin pa nito na secret admirer niya si Jhoanna. 

Hindi pwede. Over her drop dead gorgeous body and face card. Ang swerte naman niya ata kung ganun nga. She tries to manipulate her thoughts. 

Just like the poetry book, it is also a mere ‘thank you gesture’. Nothing more but it could be less. Kasi pakialam ba niya kay Aiah. With those immature thoughts, Jhoanna meets Aiah’s eyes this time.

Eat well. She mouthed to the older girl with a smirk. Pabalang nga niyang inabot ang poetry book kagabi. 

All things being set aside, Jhoanna is indeed touched — touched?! Hell nah! She just appreciates the gesture. Yes, ‘appreciation’ is the right term. Hindi naman kasi mumurahin lang ang ganung bagay. 

All Jhoanna wants is to return the favor in her own little ways (may pinag-iipunan pa kasi siyang Samba and Puma Speedcat) but upon seeing Aiah’s hardened expression as she puts back the chips to her bag while suppressing a smile. Bahala na kung guni-guni niya lang ang ngiti nito. 

It made her think that there might be more to it than being just a gesture of her returning the favor. 

Maloi might be right with her prediction.

This may be the start of something. 

Kung love story ba nila - ‘yan nga lang ang hindi sigurado.