let me go, hold me close

He looks at the face of his now husband.

Tom's smile is everything, Harry's never seen it this wide before, such a complete removal of his mask in front a whole crowd of strangers. Hed done it solely for Harry, and he wouldn't do it for anyone but him, Harry knows. 

He leans forward to lightly peck at Tom's lips, hearing James and Sirius howling in the background with amusement and resignation. They wouldn't change, no matter the occasion. 

He slips an arm around Tom as he moves to whisper in his ear, having felt him lean more against Harry, as if in fatigue. "Ready to get out of here?" Tom barely looks at him as he nods, eyes trained mostly on to the dias they stand on. 

So fucking cute when he was shy!

He turns back to his parents and the rest of their friends. "Thank you so much for celebrating with us today. Now, I believe my new husband is tired and we should make our move." They are hugged once more before Harry turns to walk him towards their room, while the whole time, Tom keeps looking up at him as if expecting him to disappear.

"Everything alright?" He slows his pace as they reach the door. Tom glances at him again, looking away to the handle of the door as he answers. "I'm fine." 

Alright then. He'd asked, atleast. 

"Carry you over the threshold?" He remembers Tom's words from months ago. Tom turns to look at him sharply at that, his face in a slightly shocked expression that turns into that beaming grin again. "Yes", he says softly.

Harry turns towards him, bending down just a bit so he can curve his other arm under Tom's knees. He lifts the boy up against him, as Tom's cheeks grow that rare but still familiar blush that Harry so craved, and yet rarely got to witness.

He gives in, giving the cheek closest to him a gentle kiss. "Mr Potter", he says to Tom softly, as he starts his walk through the doorway. Tom's blush intensifies at this, but he only smiles at Harry as he mirrors his words. "Mr. Potter", he agrees. "Although I'm sure my title would still be Lord Gaunt", that smile turns cheeky. 

"I wouldn't mind, being Mr Gaunt", he admits, "Or even Mr Riddle", anything for Tom really, but perhaps mentioning 'Riddle' right now was terrible timing. That smile lightly leaves Tom for just a second as he looks away before he regains it. Still, he reaches out to lift one hand and card it lightly through Harry's hair, just as they reach the bed. 

He lays Tom on it gently, slipping in beside the boy. 

"I know", Tom replies, turning to him even as he does not look up. "Just as I don't mind Potter. I want to, Harry." He is shy again as he pauses without continuing.

The silence grows before Harry decides to take that step. "So, is it time for our conversation now?" It's what they had decided on earlier, after all. 

"Before that, there is one more thing I want."  When isn't there, Merlin!

"What is it, Tom?" 

He receives no reply.

"Is something wrong?" He thought Tom had been fine, hadn't he said so!

"No", Tom hurries to assure him, yet stays silent after. "What is it Tom? You can tell me anything, you know that", he lays a hand at the boy's knee in reassurance.

"Well, it's a ritual I found in the the study, in the Chamber", he finally elaborates, "The marriage bonding ritual Salazar had with his wife, he wrote about it in his journal."

"A ritual?" What!

"I would like for us to be additionally bonded with the same ritual before you tell me." "Why?" They just got bonded in Magic, mere hours ago! As Tom wanted!

"You still think I will leave after you tell me, Harry." There is no doubt in his tone, the words are matter of fact. 

Perhaps in some corner of his brain Harry still thought so, but he'd been trying to ignore any thoughts of that kind when they attempted an escape.

He decides to ignore this accusation too. "What kind of ritual?" He asks instead.

"It's called the Unbreakable Bond", the last two words said in Parseltongue. "It's not very complicated, I have already brewed the Potion we need, and we just have to recite a phrase in Latin within an hour of ingesting it."

"The Unbreakable Bond?" It sounded so ominous. 

His mind flashes back to the cracked mirror from this morning, to the weird feeling of gloom that had enveloped him, as he had stared at his own broken up millions of reflections and they had stared right back.

"He said that it created a quadruple bond, Mind, Magic, Blood and Soul. He doesn't provide much detail, as it wasn't a ritual he created himself. He says it was 'created by a shaman that lived his wife's childhood village, centuries before them'. Apparantly, her parents would only allow them to be married thus, or never at all. Perhaps they didn't trust he would be loyal and take care of her, I suppose. But yes, it is unbreakable, as the name implies." 

He looks up at Harry after his speech, all earnest as he adds. "I want you to be sure that there is nothing you could say to me, nothing. Nothing that would make me want any distance from you. Nothing that will make me want you any less than I do. And you should know this already, for if I have ever known want in this life, it was when I wanted you, Harry. In every way."

Not so shy anymore as he reaches out one hand to cup Harry's jaw, thumb lightly brushing his cheek.

"I want you now and I want you forever." He leans forward to kiss Harry at these words. It fills him with a certain melancholy, this kiss, those words. He cannot explain it. 

"But this ritual—", the thought of it fills him with dread, for some unknown reason. Some gut wrenching intuition he cannot explain. 

Tom cuts him off, "Please Harry, trust me."

"I do trust you, and I don't need some ancient ritual that could end up killing us both in the process to prove that."

"It will definitely not kill us", Tom smiles at that. "And Salazar actually recommended all his descendants use the same ritual for their own spouses. To ensure a complete trust between them."

What can he even say to that!

That feeling only grows as he slowly comes around to accept Tom's newest demand.

If only he'd listened as he speaks his next words, "Okay Tom. Let's do this ritual and finish off our conversation before we floo over to the hotel." 

For their honeymoon.

A new tension grows within.

Holy fucking shit! They would have...

Nope, he buries that thought as Tom turns to get up, not helping as he kissed Harry lightly as he moved. "Stay here, I will go get the vials from storage."

He slowly loses his mind as he waits for the boy to return. The thought refuses to leave him. Sex! They would have sex tonight.

They would go much further than mutual wanking in those waking hours, tangled between the sheets. 

This time it would be more.....

He's sure Tom is back quick enough, but it could have been literal years as his brain refuses to give.

He is handed a clear vial filled with a sparling gold liquid reminiscent of that vial of Felix Felicis he'd once won in Slughorns class. 

Not really the time for another trip down memory lane as he unstoppers the vial, holding it up in front of him. "What's the incantation?"

Shy again as he says, "The words I said earlier but in Latin. 'Te nunc volo, et in perpetuum te volo', I want you now and I want you forever."

Harry repeats it out loud once to Tom's agreement before he brings the vial up to his lips. 

Every cell within him screams to stop, but he cannot. It's too late. 

He gulps it down, a sweet syrup that tasted of fresh berries. "Te nunc volo, et in perpetuum te volo." 

Nothing happens. 

He turns to Tom to watch him sip down his own vial, and then—

Then the boy speaks the words that change Harry's life forever.

Again.

"Te nunc volo, et in perpetuum te volo."

—And Harry's head bursts open in a raging flame, it feels like he's being split in two, starting at the top. 

His eyes scrunch tightly, his hands coming up to grip his temples. There is no give. His mouth opens in a loud scream he cannot hold back.

His head throbs like he's being hit with a thousand Crucio's at the same time, like it's being held over an open flame.

He feels himself involuntarily curl up on the bed, before—

He can distantly hear Tom's screams as well, and that's what pushes him into action. He shoves all that hurt down as he turns to attempt to focus on Tom.

Getting his eyes to open is difficult, but getting them to focus seems impossible.

It hurt! He looks past the pain—

The boy is writhing on the carpet, clutching his own head. 

Harry half tumbles off the bed, suppressing the newest scream that demands to free itself from within him.

He can feel his heart beat through every part of him, his head throbs, insistent in that raging fire as he crawls his way towards Tom.

"Tom", the words is a gasp that barely leaves him. "Tom, are you alright?" Not words, his brain insists, screams.

"Tom", his hands reach out blindly to grip what seems to be Tom's shirt. "Tom", it hurts. Oh it hurts!

"Tom please", he feels his grip start to loosen, and then, thankfully, he feels that iron grip around his brain start to loosen too. 

His mouth breathes in a broken ragged breath, then another as he feels Tom's body under him stop shaking as he had been. "Tom, are you okay?", words are easier now, thank Merlin.

Now what the hell was that!

The first thought in his head, after, as he watches Tom suddenly still all movement at Harry's whispered words, even his breath stops, his nostrils flaring slightly. 

Then, the boy takes in one more breath before his eyes blink back open, and Harry—

Harry jumps back in shock, forcing himself into the bed frame behind him quite harshly, which only serves to make him bounce back off and into Tom's still prone form on the floor. 

He feels that earlier scream finally find its way out, though for an entirely different reason this time. 

He scrambles off into the opposite direction, his body insisting that he get as far away as fucking possible from those now RED eyes that stare back at him without a word. 

"Vol....vol.....vo" the word will not leave him, the accusation. The knowledge. His lungs cannot pull in enough air.

The feeling of betrayal, of confusion, of a strange anger.

Those Eyes still look at him from His Tom's face.

That Red.

No.

No.

No!

NO NO No No no no nooooooo

No!

But it is!

He is!

Red

No

He doesn't know how much time has passed as they simply gaze at each other without a word.

Neither one moves a muscle, although Harry's heart feels like he's in the middle of a marathon. 

His mind is blank, empty of everything except that Red that fills his vision entirely, unable to focus on anything else in front of him. 

What the fuck had just happened!

As this intrusion breaks through his shock, his hand reflexively reaches for his wand as he sees Tom move—

No! As he sees Lord Voldemort move!

But he doesn't even reach the hilt before the figure in front of him has vanished with a soft crack, leaving nothing behind him but air and Harry's new descent into madness.