let me go, hold me close

The last few months pass by like nothing has changed. Even if he knew things had changed irrevocably, Harry cannot imagine any other way now.

It is the day they get to leave for Christmas hols (and Tom's birthday, but only he knows about that one) and the New Year.

His present is already situated in Tom's room, which itself was a gift. James had modified two of the guest suites in his wing to create it. 

Harry hoped he loved it. Just as much as any of Harry's other surprises.

As the Syltherin portrait swings open, the space holds a now familiar face.

Tom.

He smiles as he reaches over to take the boy's bag and trunk. The trunk is unexpectedly heavy, a conspicuous lack of lightening charms, but that should be resolved soon.

He carries it all in one hand, his other in its now familiar spot on Tom's shoulders. He leads the boy towards the gates, towards a compartment they will now share.

Towards a home they will now share.

When they enter the compartment, Tom seems lost in thought. He has said not one word throughout today, except the usual greetings.

"What's wrong?" He has to ask.

Tom looks at him, making a decision it seems.

"The matron"  he starts. "She doesn't know I won't be back, now or ever." The last two words are said hesitant and wondrous.

"We will let her know" Harry decides. He has not forgotten about Lily's specific gift, after all.

Tom only nods, still hesitant. 

Harry reaches out towards him, pulling at the hand that meets his gently, urging Tom over next to him.

He wraps his arm around the boy once more as he sits beside Harry. 

"Don't worry Tom", he has to say. "There is a surprise waiting for us when we reach." Anything to take Tom's mind off the orphanage.

They spend the rest of their ride in silence, an echo of their usual time in the library, each with their own book.

Tom has barely started on the fourth year books and Harry couldn't be any prouder. 

And although he had assumed otherwise, Tom had taken care of himself adequately this whole time. Infact, he had sent three other boys in fourth year to the hospital wing, their attempt at bullying him a complete and abject failure. It hadn't happened again.

Harry had been proud then too, all the jinxed and hexes he had taught Tom so far worked to resounding success.

And Tom was Tom after all. Lord Voldemort, even as Harry hadn't thought of him as such since the start.

He stands up when he feels the motion slow, when he hears that loud whistle ring through. Collects their belongings before holding the door open for Tom again.

James greets them at the door, helping Tom down the narrow steps and onto the platform. 

Apparently, Harry is not worth a second glance, he decides amusedly. Lily and James surround Tom, though he's pretty sure they talked to the boy only last night in the mirror. Tom's mirror. Which had seen more use than Harry's since it was owled over.

"Hello Mom, Dad", his tone is both amused and resigned. Hopefully the boy was okay with it, he had had a few weekends with them after all. (The cloak and tunnel came in handy!)

"Darling" and arms are around him. He breathes in as another set joins in.

"I missed you guys", he is unable to keep that to himself. 

"We missed you, let's go home!" The words are said in an overlap.

Tom is still just looking at him without a word, and he remembers. Shit, the orphanage.

"We have to make a quick stop elsewhere." He decides to say to his parents. Now they look at him too.

"Tom's guardian needs to be informed of his plans for the holidays", he reminds them, watching the thought process.

Lily turns to Tom at that. "Why don't you give us the address Tom, and we will settle it, adult-to-adult. You don't have to go back there for even a second."

Tom hesitates again. He looks between Harry and Lily, seemingly deep in thought.

He makes a decision on his words, "She may tell you things about me." He stops. Harry doesn't know what to say.

It's not like he has forgotten, he just hadn't been thinking about it.

"I'm sure she could say nothing that would make us love you any less", even though it's James saying the words, he has eyes only for Harry. Harry who looks right back and nods.

"Nothing!" He confirms James' declaration.

"Nothing", chimes in Lily.

"If you killed someone you should tell us now, though", James adds in a lighter voice, even as Harry starts to freak out. "So we can hide the body before we meet her. That way there's no proof!" He smiles goofily at Tom, who's now looking between him and Harry. 

Tom only nods.

"Let's go!" James reiterates, holding his hands out. Harry takes his and Tom's hand, and Lily holds on to Tom's other. 

James side-alongs them into the foyer.

And Harry can finally breathe a sigh of relief. He still holds on to Tom even as the other two look at him, knowing. 

"We'll leave you boys to it then", Lily says.

"Welcome Home, Tom", James adds. "Prepare to meet my two best friends in a couple hours. They're gonna love you. I hope you don't kill my dog, I love him so much." And he is laughing by the end.

Harry is not worried. He has explained this to Sirius many times. Over the course of many letters. To both him and Remus. Tom is a werewolf-on-the-full-moon twenty-four-seven. Just be careful and don't get too close.

Hopefully they understand, he thinks as he leads Tom towards the boy's new room. He opens the door again, ushering Tom in.

It is just as he expected from his Mom. An echo of the sketch Harry had sent her, of Tom's imagined Room. They had done wonderfully.

He hears Tom gasp. "Harry?", his name a question.

"Yes, Tom", he knows what the question is. "We love you very much. I love you very much. We want you to be comfortable." His attempt to hide in the middle is unsuccessful.

Tom's eyes are wider than he's ever seen them, before he disappears, and Harry almost drops the luggage he's still holding. 

He sets it down beside him as he embraces Tom back with both hands. 

"Ofcourse we love you, Tom. Ofcourse, I love you", he adds. "You are so easy to love." And it is the truth. This little boy that Harry had found and kept and protected and mentored. Befriended. He is proud of both of them.

He is almost sure the words are returned, yet he thinks he imagined them. He doesn't know what to say in the quiet silence that follows. He's unsure and yet he's pretty sure. He cannot ask for a repeat or a confirmation, so just his theory and hope would be enough for now.

He gently soothes his hand down Tom's back as he always done, and has been noticing with growing pleasure how Tom had been filling out more. 

Perhaps a trip to the tailor was also a necessity. An addition to the new ever-evolving to-do list.

"I think Pads and Moony will be here soon. Let's walk back? You can unpack tonight, after dinner. Unless you'd like to do that now?" He really needs to stop telling Tom what to do before he gave him the option of his free will.

"What are they like?" Tom wonders, a question.

"Sirius is literally an exact copy of James, and Moony could be my mother, so what does that tell you?" He laughs at that and Tom does too. "Sounds like fun", the boy says, and Harry has not the heart to disappoint him so soon.

"I hope it will be, but if not, we always have presents tonight and tomorrow morning", he reminds Tom, who nods with a smile.

The boy hesitates for a second, before he adds, "I hope you will like your present." And Harry....is gone. 

If he died right now he would be Happy and Content. That Tom Riddle would get him a Christmas gift was already an impossibility. That he would think Harry could ever dislike even a twig Tom picked up on the ground for Harry.....the boy was crazy. 

"I already love it, because you thought of me, and that is the real gift to me, Tom", he speaks his truth. Tom's returning smile is blinding.

"Let's meet Pads and Moony, your other parents", he says and Harry agrees emphatically. "Sometimes they're worse", he admits to a small laugh.

They are so much easier now, his laughs, his smiles. Their conversations. Harry doesn't know how he lived without it before. Tom Riddle has created a change in this life Harry had learned not to expect, after so many years of disappointment.

His mind wonders about Tom's present for him. He is literally bursting with curiosity, even as he thinks about his own present. Hopefully Tom would love it. 

They reach the currently empty main living room, the fire already roaring. On the side table sit four cups of hot chocolate, most likely charmed to remain the perfect temperature until the very last sip.

Tom's eyes have not left the upward swirling steam even once. "Hot chocolate, Tom?" He both asks and offers, a gesture towards the treat.

"Please", says Tom as he walks towards it and picks up a cup. He sits down, the rim rising slowly to meet his mouth. Harry wants to learn his opinions on chocolate, so watches, unwilling to miss a single second.

Tom's eyes widen again, and a little sigh escapes him after that first sip. He hasn't paid any attention to Harry at all, fully focused on his treat, and Harry is grateful.

He doesn't know what face he's making as he thinks about buying out Honeydukes' chocolate selection. He still has a couple hundred galleon from the start of the school year after all.

"Chocolate is the best", Tom starts as Lily and James walk in. 

"Yes it is the best!" James agrees. "These two and their treacle tart makes no sense to me at all."

"Me either", Tom agrees, a quick look at Harry. Harry laughs lightly. 

"Treacle tart is superior to your dark bean paste, thank you very much", Lily argues just as Harry was about to start himself.

Then he double-takes at Tom's purposeful fanning of the flames. Yes, it's not that serious, but still. Harry's glad he's growing comfortable with them, he really fit perfectly with them.

He imagines if Lord Voldemort had only stopped for a cup of tea that 31st night. If he had looked past his own and Lily's blood, and drank hot chocolate with them, things would have been......

Pigs would fall out the sky, it is an amusing thought. He watches Tom set his now empty cup down, and considers. "You can have my cup if you'd like. I'd rather a cup of tea, honestly." As soon as he says that, Tom's empty cup disappears and in its place lies what Harry knows is a perfect cup of tea.

"Thank you Muffy", he says to thin air as he walks over to Tom, picking the cup as he sits beside him. They had evolved to sitting next to each other now, at their table, on their couch in the Room, on the bleachers as they discussed Quidditch strategy. Or Harry explained and Tom listened. 

Such closeness was a rarity to Harry, especially between friends, it had been such a long time, and he always looked forward to every minute he spent with Tom. 

And the boy was so smart, so quick, so confident in his abilities, Harry felt life anew beside him. His attempt to be a good friend had been successful so far.

As he sipped his tea, and his parents argued over who's present would be opened first, the fire flashed a bright green.

Out tumbled soot, ash, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. 

"Har-bear", how had not forgotten that ridiculous name, Harry rages in his head even as he embraces his Godfather. "The mutt." He responds in a condescending tone. Sirius attempts to tickle him but is unsuccessful. He bounds over to Moony.

"Remus, Merry Christmas eve." 

It is returned with a hug, and then another set of arms and then two more. He looks at Tom watching them and becons the boy over. Tom lightly shakes his head and he nods. 

He will ask again, maybe it would be a different answer next time.

They part, and Sirius makes straight for Tom, his thoughts tumbling out of him.

"So there's my Godson's bestfriend I've heard so much about." He envelops Tom this time even as Remus says, "Siri!"

"But Moons, I wanna meet Harry's friend too. James has all the stories around the office. And I've only seen him in the mirror! Twice!" Even as Remus turns to Tom, "Hello Tom, I've heard so much about you."

"It's nice to meet you in person, Mr Black and Mr Black" and Sirius almost cries. "Noooo, you can't call me that Tom", the last word is a whine, so like his other self.

"If you're not gonna call me Sirius, call me Pads or Padfoot."

"Okay Mr. Padfoot" Tom agrees and they all burst in laughter around him and Sirius. 

Sirius drops to the ground dramatically in front of Tom, transforming into his furry persona, and then hides his face in an obvious, guilt inducing way, his ears and paws covering his eyes and snout. When he lets out a whine, he is almost pitiful. Harry wonders if Tom will give in. 

He does. He bends down to pet gently between Sirius' ears and the now dog-man turns in place to lick the inside of his paw.

Tom giggles even as he takes his hand away. "Fine, Padfoot", he agrees, even as a new whining begins.

"But you still call me Mr. Potter", and Sirius rubs it in further, unable to help himself as always. "I'm Padfoot and you're still Mr. Potter. Where is all that charm you got Lily with, Jamie boy?" He punctuates this statement with a now-human arm wrapped around Tom, who is looking between them with what seems to be trepidation.

James sputters and goes to lunge at Sirius. Harry takes this as his cue to pull Tom away from them. 

And good timing too, as they start to wrestle on the ground....and Harry is so done with this. He specifically asked for this to not happen. 

Mom and Moony just look at them while Tom looks at him, wide eyed. "This is a regular occurrence." Tom looks at them for another glance before he turns back to Harry. 

"Can I have my second cup now?" He asks Harry, and Harry would have given him two million cups. Made individually. By hand. Harry's hand. Merlin!

"If you want another cup after, just ask for it, and Muffy will make it for you just like school." Tom nods. 

He thinks it is late enough for his mother's present to start the night off. They have to wake early after all. For the real presents. 

"Mom" he says, and she turns to him, studying him for a second. She nods. 

"Tom" She says, turning to him. "I believe we will start with my Christmas present. I know Harry has told you about the blood tests I used to fail to understand his ability."

She starts to walk towards the tables holding all their presents to each other, picking up hers, wrapped in that snitch and broomstick paper James loved. 

She hands it to Tom who unwraps it to reveal a lidded box that held a potion under stasis, a small curved knife and a small silver bowl.

"If you would like to see where your blood takes you, this should give you the names of your parents and grandparents. If it is not enough, we can perhaps try it at a location with a reserve of stored information, such as the Ministry. Blood Magic has only been recently outlawed, after all."

Tom has picked up the knife, examining the blade, so Lily continues, "Only a small cut, Tom, and I am quite a proficient healer. Your discomfort will only last a second."

Tom nods, so Lily reaches over to take the box from him, moving it over to a low table she conjures up.

She kneels in front of Tom, another smaller low table conjured, upon which she places the bowl.

She holds Tom's left hand and slices the round tip of his pinky finger with the knife. Blood pools in the bowl, slow yet steady. When it reaches the right amount, as Harry recalls from memory, she quickly heals Tom's finger and lets go, turning to the potions bottle.

She unstoppers it, looking up at Tom once before she pours it in there. 

Smoke begins to waft off the small bowl, slow as it rises and clumps together in weird places and forms two small family trees.

     Tom Riddle Senior                 Mary Riddle

                                  |                      | 

                                             |

                             Tom Riddle Junior

On the right before it starts on the left.

        Marvolo Gaunt                     Seraphina Gaunt

                                  |                      |

                                              |

                                 Merope Gaunt

It stops smoking, the words still float in the air. "Gaunt", James breaks the silence. "That name is familiar."

"They are the last descendants of Slytherin", Harry reminds him. The Gaunts are known in the wizarding world, even they hadn't been seen in society in many decades.

"I know that Harry, no, it's something else", James turns to him. 

"He was sent to Azkaban for hurting one to many Muggles with his Magic. And he was half mad. So was his son. This was a few months back." Sirius recalls.

"I don't remember there being a daughter", James' voice is uncertain. "There wasn't", Sirius confirms.

"Well, Tom." Lily waves her wand, vanishing the smoke, the gift and the table with the box. The bowl vanishes too, leaving a small piece of parchment with those words on there.

She hands it to him, continuing, "James will find out more about this Gaunt family, and perhaps I can get my parents to find out about these Riddles. I make no promises, though." Tom only nods.

"Thank you for my Christmas present." He starts. 

"This wasn't all of it", James stops him. "This is just half. Once we find out what happened with your family, I believe you will get the other half. If they abandoned you on purpose, and it's seeming to be likelier by the second, then we will just take Magical guardianship over you."

"And figure out a way to get your family name back. If anyone is worthy of the name, it's you Tom", Lily chimes in.

Tom just looks between them without a word. "Thank you Mr and Mrs Potter. This was the best Christmas present I've ever gotten." He finally says softly. 

"You are very welcome, Tom", says Lily even as James attempts to correct Tom. "Wait till you see the rest of them! Was the room a good one? That was all me!!"

Lily just clears her throat. "With the invaluable help of my lovely wife, ofcourse", he adds, all gallant. Lily just shakes her head at him.

"The room was wonderful" Tom agrees.

"More presents will be opened tomorrow, we were all very curious about the results of this one", Harry turns to him.

"I have a present for everyone, it's small, but you could open it now, if you'd like", Tom looks at everyone around the room.

"We would love to open your present Tom!" Lily says, even as James is almost jumping in excitement. "What did you get me Tom? Is it deer related?" He's replaced Lily on the carpet in front of Tom.

"They're still in my bag upstairs." Tom starts to get up. 

"I'll go get it for you!", James almost runs out of the room in his haste.

"I'm sure we will love whatever you got us, Tom", Remus smiles at him. Tom did look a bit nervous to Harry too.

James bounds back into the room with Tom's bag in his hand. Tom lays it on his knees, flipping the flap over.

He takes out small packages wrapped in a brown paper. Two of them have hand drawn lilies and stags all over, he hands those to James and Lily.

The other two have stars, moons and constellations, he hands those to Sirius, who passes one to Remus.

"I found some Acromantula silk yarn, and some of the books you included", he looks at Lily, "were of householding spells and charms. So I practiced a bit, and this is what I was able to do."

Harry notices he has not gotten a present yet. He says nothing. Hopefully he wasn't forgotten, but he would understand. 

Tom needed to impress. It was fine.

James and Lily each open a set of matching cream and khaki gloves, with the same pattern around the wrist. Four stags and four lilies. Harry is almost jealous. 

Sirius and Remus get two matching warm brown scarves, with tiny knitted charms between the fringes. Half moons and stars. 

How cute. (Whatever)

Tom takes this time to lean up closer to Harry's ear. "Your present is in my trunk."

Harry turns to look at him suddenly, disbelieving of what he thinks he has just heard. 

"You got me a present?" An incredulous whisper back, even as Tom's words in his room come back to him. Tom hoped he liked his present, as he remembers. Yes!

His heart could burst out his chest in his excitement! If this was even a fraction of what James felt, his earlier antics made sense.

Tom just looks at him, that now-rare unreadable look on his face. "I hope you like it", Tom repeats. "I will." Harry promises.

It is all the time they get before they are covered in four pairs of arms around them, the couch slightly groaning at the weight. 

They are left breathless for a long second before a chorus of 'thank yous' surrounds Tom.

"Thank you for my present. I love it", he returns, to both Lily and James.

"You can open ours in the morning, lets eat dinner", Remus says.

"Merlin it is getting a bit late, isn't it", Lily agrees, even as James and Sirius laugh calling them old folk. They are met with exasperated looks, as always. 

They move to the dining room for dinner, and it is perfect, as it always was at home. He is surrounded by his family as he has always been for the last few years, yet this year it is sweeter. He is present! It doesn't feel like an almost surreal dreamscape. He is here, with his parents, with Lord Voldemort, having Christmas dinner. It is an unbelievable thought, even as he knows Tom is not Him.

He makes Tom's plate as always does now, and he doesn't miss the looks he gets from around the table, but no one says anything, and that's fine too. Who knows what he would tell them, were there any questions. Merlin. 

He has to. He needs to make Tom plate. It is a routine now. Just like walking the boy to the Dungeons. Or his Dorms sometimes, if they lost track as they talked about a subject. 

Like many new things now. Walking Tom to classes, to dinner. To the library. It was a strange new wonderful experience.

He is lost in his thoughts, even as his family and Tom talk softly about Toms likes and dislikes of food, so they can let the house elves know. 

Harry wants to pay attention to the subject, but this Christmas is unlike any other spent here, and the feeling it brings washes over him. A strange sort of nostalgia for something he has never had. 
Christmas with a family where he had felt excitement. At Tom's gift! Tom had given him that too!

He finishes up his plate in silence, slowly ridding himself of what had caught him for a little bit. "Another glass of hot chocolate in front of the fire before bed?", as he turns to Tom beside him. Tom nods. 

"We will see you boys tomorrow morning", Lily gives them their cue to stand. 

"Good night everyone." Tom looks at everyone for just a second before he looks down. "Thank you for my room and the blood test." Specifically between James and Lily now. "Thank you for our present", even as Moony joins in. "I don't think we have matching scarves either. And those charms are so cute. Thank you so much Tom." 

Tom smiles at all of them as he starts to walks back towards the living room. Harry kisses his mother on her head as he passes, wishing the rest of them himself as he leads Tom out the door.

"That was a fantastic gift, Tom. And very practical! They loved it!" He has to say! He felt as such! Even as he, a bit shamefully, had forgotten about Tom's words and his own gift, and looked on with jealousy. How absolutely terrible of him.

The mystery gift though, it now held the main space of his thoughts. What would it be? Why had the boy kept it in his trunk? Was it a different gift than a knit item? Was it a bigger knit item? A sweater? How very Molly of him. The thought makes him want to laugh.

When Tom is done, and they are almost at Tom's new room, the boy stills. "Your present" he begins. "I'm sure I'll love it", Harry is quick. 

"Would you like to open it now?" Tom looks at him. 

"If you'd like to open mine now." It was only fair. Tom had only gotten him one present, and thus it was equal to Harry's biggest present. The rest he could open tomorrow.

"I have more than one", he is honest as Tom's face changes to surprise. "You can open the others with the presents from them tomorrow." Tom nods.

He holds the door open for Tom and adds, "Your present is already in your room, actually. Behind the that narrow door in the corner."

He had wrapped it much like he had received his own first broomstick, in a very obvious manner.

Yet, while this was no Firebolt from the 90's, it was still better than Harry's own Firebolt from 1938. It was the Firebolt Professional for next year. He had had to pull quite a few strings to get it. Or rather, Sirius had. Thank Merlin for Lord Black!

Tom opens the door and takes out the only decently-wrapped broom. He brings it over to his bed to lay it down. 

"You got me a new broom?" His voice is full of wonder. "A better broom", Harry corrects him.

"And I want you on the team next year, the holidays should be good practice, and Summer hols too. It's better than my broom, so it should even us out in advantages department", his words are said with a little hint of a laugh. 

Tom is nowhere as good a flier as Harry after all. Even with a Cleansweep, Harry would maybe most likely sweep the floor with most people. But perhaps, the broom would help, and Harry would help too.

Tom hugs him again, and those are just as sweet and yet getting less rare too. It is wonderful. He is so happy at how things have gone so far he could burst. 

And he hadn't even gotten to his own present from Tom yet!

As if reading his mind, Tom leaves the bed to reach for his trunk still on the floor. The result of a previous hug. Harry was really going crazy in this new reality. But a good kind of crazy. A great kind of crazy.

Tom pulls out two slim, familiar, leather bound books and Harry feels the first vestiges of that once familiar panic run through him once more. No. What. No.

No way!

It is not, thankfully, as he finds out. 

Tom hands him one of them, it could be an exact copy of that diary from his first second year at Hogwarts, except it has Harry's name embossed in gold on the face. 

"It's more than just a notebook", Tom looks up at Harry. "I learned the protean charm, and we can write to each other in class through them. I have the other one", he shows Harry an actual replica of that diary. 

Harry is feeling so many things at this, he really has nothing except a hug. He is shocked, in awe, surprised, relieved, joyous. Too many things. He clings to Tom, his heart flying as he considers this boy. His friend. His only friend. The boy who had made him feel. 

"It is the best and most thought out Christmas present I've ever gotten. Thank you Tom. I hope you liked mine as well." He has to add. He hopes. 

He still cannot believe his own present. Tom wanted him more? More than Harry already was with him? In classes too? 

He doesn't know how to feel about such a thought. 

"I love it Harry. Can we fly tomorrow?" But then his face turns hesitant as he looks through the window. It was snowing after all. 

"We have a charmed pitch, don't worry. And yes, we can fly tomorrow. I'm probably more excited than you." And it is the truth. 

Tom shakes his head but he still smiles at Harry. Harry reaches out to brush the top of his head again. "You should probably go to bed, we have a full day tomorrow. Full of presents, as you know." Another quick hug. 

Tom walks to his bed after Harry lets go, and Harry goes to place his new broom back in the Quidditch supplies cupboard in his room. He picks up his bag and trunk, and on a whim walks back to Tom, his memory of that first night tucking Tom in crystal clear as it comes back to him. 

"Merry Christmas, Tom. I love my present and I love you. Goodnight. Sweet dreams", and with that new addition, and a repeat of that kiss earlier, he waves the lights dim as he walks out quick to the neighboring door. His own. 

He will find out how his words were taken tomorrow, just like last time.