Sheena had always been aware of things before others noticed them. A subtle shift in the air, the way the breeze brought a familiar scent the moments before it should have—she could sense it all. It was a gift, or maybe a curse, depending on how she looked at it. But no ability had ever betrayed her more than the way she could feel Colet’s presence before she even entered a room.
Colet’s laughter was like sunlight through half-open blinds—warm, a bit scattered, and impossible to ignore. And Sheena? She was the quiet observer, the one who noticed the fleeting moments that slipped by everyone else. The way Colet tucked a strand of hair behind her ear when she was lost in thought. The way her fingers drummed against her knee when she was excited about something. Sheena memorized it all, like an artist tracing the same lines over and over, even when they knew the drawing would never be theirs.
This love was painful. Not sharp like a knife, but dull, like a pain that lingers. Colet talked about everything, but never she included Sheena as anything more than a friend. And Sheena? She never mustered the courage to change that. Loving Colet meant loving her freely, without any expectations. It meant holding her in a way that didn’t ask for anything in return.
So Sheena stayed. Close enough to feel, but never close enough to be felt in the same way. She learned to swallow the longing, to bury the words she wanted to say beneath a smile that Colet would never question. And when Colet laughed, Sheena laughed too—because even if she would never be the reason for that joy, she would always be there to witness it.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
“Sheena!”
She looked up just in time to see Colet jogging toward her, breathless but grinning. The late afternoon sun cast a glow on her face, highlighting the excitement in her eyes. Sheena swallowed, pushing down the familiar ache in her chest.
“Di mo man lang ako hinintay.” Colet huffed, stopping beside her. “Ang bilis mong mag-ninja palabas.”
Sheena shrugged. “Di ko naman alam na sasabay ka sakin.”
Colet rolled her eyes and nudged Sheena’s shoulder playfully. “Alam mo namang sumasabay ako palagi, sinong makikinig sa mga rants ko about my day?”
Sheena laughed, fully aware that she wasn’t just a listener—she was a backup. The person Colet relied on when no one else was around. Still, she chose to stick around, because this was all she had.
This is the only way she can be close to Colet.
“So?” Sheena prompted, pretending her heart wasn’t beating a little too fast. “Ano bang nangyari?”
Colet’s face lit up, and Sheena braced herself. She already knew what was coming.
“Remember the girl? Yung nasa kabilang section?” Colet said, eyes shining. “Kinausap niya ko! Like as in!”
Sheena’s stomach twisted, but she forced a smile. “Yung Maloi?”
“Yup! I think—” Colet nodded, she hesitated to continue then softly laughed. “Never mind.”
Sheena should have left it alone. Should have just nodded and let the moment pass. But she couldn’t. Not when Colet looked so hopeful, so full of something Sheena would never be the reason for.
“Ano? Sige na, sinimulan mo na eh.” she said, her voice steady.
Colet bit her lip, a rare hint of shyness creeping into her expression. “I think I like her.”
It was a subtle confession, but it struck Sheena like a tidal wave. She forced herself to nod, just to keep a neutral expression. “Edi… good.” she said, and even to her own ears, the words felt empty.
Colet didn’t notice. She never did.
“Sa tingin mo, i-go ko?” Colet asked, excitement threading through her voice.
Sheena had the option to lie. She could come up with all the reasons why it wouldn’t work, sow a seed of doubt, and make Colet think twice. But that wasn’t who Sheena was.
So instead, she offered a small, careful smile, tinged with a hint of sadness.
“Yeah.” she replied softly. “Go mo yan.”
In that moment, Colet’s joy blossomed in a space that felt too small for Sheena.
And Sheena? She remained there, nodding and listening, even as her heart quietly broke, piece by piece.
The weight of her own words pressed down on her own chest like an anchor. She should’ve been used to this by now—the way Colet spoke about someone else with the kind of excitement Sheena wished was reserved for her. But no matter how many times it happened, it never hurt any less.
Colet looped her arm through Sheena’s, tugging her forward as they walked. “Okay, so tell me, mag-confess na ba ko? Or maghintay muna ako na sabihin niyang gusto niya ako?”
Sheena let out a short laugh, masking the lump in her throat. “Ikaw? Maghihintay? Imposible.”
Colet gasped in mock offense. “Hoy, grabe ka naman sakin, kaya kong maghintay ‘no!”
Sheena raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Kaya pala tinawagan mo ko alas tres ng madaling araw nung isang araw para lang ikwento sakin yung napanaginipan mo.”
“That was important!” Colet defended, giggling. “Eh kasi, nag-hiking daw tayong dalawa tapos pagkarating natin sa tuktok ng bundok, nag-skydiving tayo. Paanong di ko sasabihin sayo, eh gustong gusto mo nga mag-skydiving.”
Sheena shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. She allowed herself to savor this moment—Colet’s warmth next to her, the sound of her laughter echoing around them. It was risky how effortlessly she could pretend.
But reality always had a way of intruding.
“Sheena?” Colet’s voice turned gentle, a rare seriousness creeping in. “Ayos ka lang ba?”
Sheena blinked, realizing that she had been silent for too long. She forced a laugh. “Oo ate Colet, pagod lang talaga.”
Colet looked at her for a moment, then gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. “Sure ba? Pwedeng pwede ka namang magsabi sakin diba? Andito lang ako.”
Sheena wished that were true. Wished she could say, Actually, I love you, and it hurts watching you liking someone else. But she couldn’t.
So instead, she just smiled, the kind of smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I know po.”
And that was enough to convince Colet, who, as always, never noticed what Sheena kept to herself.
“Good! Kasi you’re stuck with me na. Forever.” Colet beamed, nudging their shoulders together.
Sheena exhaled softly. Forever. It was such a lovely word. But it hurts to hear it right now.
Because forever with Colet would always mean being the best friend, the one standing just a step behind.
And Sheena wasn’t sure how much longer she could handle the pain of being the bestfriend that is always there for Colet, but never the person that Colet needs and wants to be with for the rest of her life.
If that forever would keep her close to the girl she loves, then she must endure it, even if it tears her apart.