The Wizarding World, Severus always thought to himself, was severely lacking when it came to fantasy. Perhaps because they lived what the mass majority of humanity would consider "fantasy". No creativity. The Muggles had it right with Science Fiction.
Particularly robots.
Robots had always fascinated him, especially as a young boy. There were comics, sure, as often as he could get them, with a small prayer his father wouldn't find them, toss them in the bin, and then beat the shite out of him for "wasting money".
The library was significantly safer, he could borrow the books there, hope they weren't checked out, but the selection was lacking. Severus suspected it was from lack of funds and a particular librarian who considered anything but the "classics" to be tosh. As he got older, Asimov, Bradbury, and Dick managed to trickle their way in.
During a raid with the Death Eaters, he discovered a copy of something called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in a Muggleborn's bedroom and pocketed it. He transfigured the cover and read it, finding it worth a couple of smirks from time to time. And then he met Marvin the Paranoid Android. Marvin spoke to him like no other character, human or robot, before. Surrounded by dunderheads, intelligent beyond belief, he was perfect. The absolute best literary character. Later down the line when he found out about the BBC radio series, he had been, well not giddy, but pleased.
Movies were his second choice for robots. He and Lily would go to the movies during the summer holidays, and she'd generally wanted to see Disney Films and cutesy things. He normally obliged her whimsical tastes, but he would convince her from time to time to see a science fictional film. After their falling out, the movies became another safe haven for him, much like the library. Star Wars caught his attention, despite his increasing distain for muggle nonsense, strictly because of the Droids. C3PO was fussy, another caricature of the British by Americans, but R2-D2, helping the young rebels against an empire, that was perfect in his young eyes. Just like the Death Eaters. He wanted to be the R2 to Voldemort's Luke, helpful in destroying something wrong built up by the government.
As an adult, he realized he had it all backwards, but refused to equate Harry Bloody Potter with Luke Skywalker despite their numerous similarities. Who in their right mind would compare Luke Skywalker, Jedi Hero who defeated the Empire and Darth Vader, tova whelp who wasn't even toilet trained. It was madness! Dumbledore(how and when had he seen Star Wars!?) had even joked he was the Obi Wan to Harry's Luke and Severus had given such a shudder, Dumbledore had laughed himself silly for several minutes.
With the lovely muggle invention, the VCR, Severus started renting tapes to watch movies over the Summer Holidays. They killed time and he enjoyed watching The Day the Earth Stood Still,The Terminator, and Alien. He even rented some piece of nonsense called Short Circuit, that severely annoyed him, but it had Ally Sheedy, so it wasn't that bad.
TV, of course, had Dr. Who and the Daleks, a quintessential show for anyone British and who enjoyed robots, but they were not his favorite TV robots. Those two came from an excursion to the States.
Knowing the Potter brat would soon be darkening Hogwarts' metaphorical doorstep and he'd never get a moments peace during the next 7 years, he cut out early in June went to the US on a potion gathering trip. He ended up in a Muggle hotel with the TV on as background noise. Why the Americans Magical Community couldn't have a good old fashioned pub was beyond him, but it was at least clean. On the TV, some muggle in a red jumpsuit who looked like he'd downed too many vials of calming draught was flanked by 2 puppets (robots! His inner voice helpfully and excitedly provided) were forced to watch a movie about aliens and some dunderheaded child who adopted one of them. As the three made jokes regarding the movie, ranging anywhere from stupid to somewhat intelligent, he found himself actually laughing. Not smirking, not chortling or chuckling, he was full out belly laughing at Joel and the 'Bots saying "Trumpy, you can do stupid things." Oh, he was going to borrow that line for is classes.
His contact in the States was Muggleborn and Severus asked about Tom and Crow. The contact was also a fan and offered to record episodes for Severus to watch for when he went home. Magic helped convert the tapes to work on his VCR. They made fun of old black and white movies he had watched as a child, some of them including robots, and they never failed to get a laugh out of him. He didn't like that Dunderhead Mike as much as Joel, and had some trouble accepting the new host, but Mike had his moments too. After Voldemort's return, it became more difficult to feed his love
of science fiction and robots. He barely had time to eat and sleep between classes, detentions, brewing, the Order and the Death Eaters, let alone find time to watch Crow and Tom evsicorate Coleman Francis. And it was during that time as headmaster, the long sleepless nights praying the children, especially the Gryffindors, did nothing recklessly stupid, that he wondered why he enjoyed robots so much.
And it struck him.
He was just like them.
A machine to help and assist with no will of his own. Programmed to do specific tasks and follow through. He could not disobey, it would conflict with his own three rules, different than Asimov's, more pathetic than Asimov's. He was not Marvin. He was not Tom or Crow. Not R2-D2. Not Johnny 5. They had personalities and freedom, had gone beyond their programming while he was the most basic automaton. Obedient with no desires.
***
Of course it was the fucking snake. As Nagini had lunged, ripped out his throat, his mind, so organized, started sprouting nonsense. It made little sense to him, snakes ate pests, they were helpful, they didn't bother you if you didn't bother them, craved warmth, why would it ever go after a heartless machine? "Oil," he thought to himself "It'll be oil. I will shed oil" A hand to his neck. Red. "Rust. I'm a machine, but I'm a funny colour." Then, Lily's eyes. The boy. Needed to know. Memories. Whispy and Vaporized. Not oil. Funny colours. A machine.
***
He didn't expect to survive. The healer told him gleefully and in dramatic detail how Miss Granger and Weasley had been instrumental in staunching the bleeding by using a variety of potions on his person and their dittany stores to heal him. He stared blankly and scoffed. It was probably all Granger, with Weasley riding coattails as always, girl would never give anyone a moment's peace.
Which came true about a week later when he heard her and her orange friend coming down the hallway. He quickly pretended to be asleep as she entered.
"Sir," she said softly. "Thank you. For, well, everything." She paused, unsure of what to say next. "I don't have flowers. I think you'd dislike something impractical that would die in several days. And most Get Well Soon Flowers are useless in potion making. Oh! For when you wake up! It can't be fun here. Gemino!"
She put something on the bedside table. "Again. Thank you."
"He's gonna think that planet with the goofy expression is ridiculous," was Weasley's contribution to all of this.
"Don't panic," Severus heard the smile in her voice.
"Right," Weasley again, clueless as always. "We have a few more rooms to visit". They left and he waited, making sure they were truly gone, before finding an immaculate copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide.
Societal politeness would dictate he get her something in return for saving his life. He sent her a copy of Fahrenheit 451, partially because of the mechanical Hound, but mostly to imagine her irritation over all those (granted imaginary) books being burned.
This lead to her returning his own with a 5 page double sided missive and a copy of I, Robot. He skimmed the letter, her typical probing, before burning the letter. Then sent her a copy of Slaughterhouse Five as a change of pace.
The owl came back with a shorter, but still as flammable letter with the same shite. "What are you going to do? Will you go back to Hogwarts?" More preferable, and with some cheek, was a copy of Misery by Stephen King.
Foolishly, he sent her Brave New World in response, realizing after the fact he was encouraging her legendary persistent behavior.
But, it was... Satisfactory to have a limited interaction with someone regarding, for the most part, science fiction. She still sent missives with her books, thankfully they were getting shorter and shorter. He gleaned from them she was back at Hogwarts to finish her NEWTs, her parents would be returning to England, Potter and Weasley were both in the Auror program and both had girlfriends.
She wasn't with the Ginger boy. Why did he find that so interesting?
She nattered on, asking what he was going to do once fully recovered. He ignored these, content right now to sit and read. He finally responded with a terse missive stating "Like a robot, I have one purpose. To serve. Since I cannot, I am reading."
Towards the spring, she sent him a book called Feet of Clay, different from her usual recommendations, this appeared to be fantasy, and Muggles seemed to both glean and exaggerate topics that were very real to him. Frequently, it made for poor reading. More surprising was Hermione's note (a note! Not a dissertation!) which simply read "I think you'll like Dorfl". He did. A golem. The prototype of a robot, who went beyond his programming, who indeed lived while spitting in the face of higher beings who would dictate how he should live. Dorfl struck a nerve with him he hadn't felt since Marvin.
Live.
He grabbed a parchment and a quill, and responded to Hermione. "I did indeed relate to Dorfl. Perhaps I may give you your next reading assignment in person, after your NEWTs are finished."
The response had come back almost instantaneously with a "Yes!"
***
"I rented our movie!" "
Your pick better not be like the last cartoon you made me sit through. Rodents have no place on the kitchen."
"It was cute!"
"Cute!? There is nothing cute about rodents and cooking! It is-"
"A piece of fiction. I think you'll like this one better, Sev, it's got a robot. And he falls in love!"
"For you, dear wife, I will tolerate it."
"You'll love it!"
He kisses her head. "I love you, Hermione."