Smells Like Teen Spirit

James Potter

Friday | October 3rd, 1975

James wanted to scream at Remus, but he couldn’t. Because it wasn’t really Remus’ fault. It wasn’t Remus’ fault at all. It wasn’t Remus’ fault that Sirius had a crush on him. It wasn’t Remus’ fault that he didn’t know. It wasn’t Remus’ fault that he got a partner. It wasn’t Remus’ fault at all.

But, James really wished it was so he had an excuse to yell at… someone. Anyone really. Because James’ best mate was miserable and nothing James could do could fix it.

“Where is he?” James asked Sirius as he walked in from the bathroom. He dried his hair with the towel and left it over his shoulders. It dampened the straps of the white vest he was wearing but he didn’t care too much. 

Sirius looked up from where he had been staring at the map. He was laying across James’ bed. He too was in his pyjamas: black flannel pants and a dark red jumper (Moony’s jumper, James would like to add). Sirius didn’t have to ask to specify who James was asking about. “Astronomy tower. With Micah.”

James peeked over Sirius’ shoulder to look at the map as well and batted Sirius with his towel. “And Mary and Pete! You made it sound like they were shagging up there or something! They’re probably all just getting high.”

The colour drained from Sirius’ face and he scrambled to turn around and look at James. “Do you think that they’ve shagged?!”

“They’ve been dating a week, Pads.” James sighed, laying down beside him– which was quite hard to do seeing as they were on a twin bed. “I doubt that Remus is that much of a slag.”

“Oh, merde!” Sirius sat up. “What if he is?”

James gave him a flat look. “Are you joking? Do you even know our Moony?” 

Sirius laid back down. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m overthinking, aren’t I?”

“Y’think?” 

Sirius groaned. “Do you think it’d be terribly bold of me to invite myself to get high with them?”

James laughed. “Yes. Yes, it would.” James positioned himself onto one elbow to look down at his best friend. “You’ve only gotten high… what? Once?”

“Twice.” 

“That still doesn’t mean that you’re included in their smoking sessions.” James said. “Besides, we have a match tomorrow. You can’t get high the night before a match!”

“Mary is.” Sirius pouted. “I miss Remus.” 

“I know you do, mate.” 

Karma. That’s what this is. The gods are making him pay for how much he’s ranted to Sirius about Lily Evans. “You excited about tomorrow's match, at least?”

“Yeah, I am.” Sirius smiled. Then, he sighed. “You want to rant about the team again, don’t you?”

“Thank you so much!” James launched himself off the bed. “So, Dorcas is by far their best chaser but they never pass it to her because she’s a girl– which is entirely sexist and stupid, by the way– so that leaves Frimley and Aldermaston. Both of them are sixth-years and both are only decent shots. They’ll easily be blocked by Frank. Their beaters, Crouch and Mulciber, are good but too violent. Mulciber gets cocky and Crouch is smart but gets bored quickly and starts being brash.

“Their keeper is Hawthorne–who’s a nice enough guy– and good but not better than our chasers.” James was pacing, which made him appear stressed. He’s not. He just liked to talk aloud about situations to understand them better. “Then, probably the best person on their team is-”

“Don’t you dare.”

“-Regulus. I’m sorry, Pads, but it’s true. Hey!” James jumped out of the way of the pillow Sirius threw. “He’s a fucking amazing seeker– and no offense to Marls ‘cause she’s bloody fantastic– but better than ours. He’s cold, he’d calculating-”

“It sounds like you have a crush on him.” Sirius complained.

“He’s fit too but I doubt that that plays into his quidditch skills.” James added, just to rile Sirius up.

“That’s it!”

James ran. 

It didn’t matter that they were both in pyjamas, Sirius chased James from the dorm, down the stairs, through the common room and portrait, and into the hallways. Sirius tried to catch James, but James had been going on early morning jogs around the castle and Black Lake since third year. He could easily lose Sirius, but what was the fun in that?

James– knowing exactly where he was heading– led Sirius through the castle (it’s a miracle that they didn’t get stopped by Filch) and to the astronomy tower, just as Mary, Peter, Remus, and Micah exit the entrance. James ducked behind Remus.

“James!” Remus exclaimed. “What the… what on fucking Earth are you doing?” When James continued to laugh and duck around Remus as Sirius tried to chase him, Remus sighed and turned to Sirius. “Sirius? Why are you chasing James?”

“He called my brother fit!”

“Oh. Well then, by all means, chase him throughout the castle, annoying all the portraits and ghosts, why don’t you?” Remus said wryly with an eye roll.

Sirius pretended not to hear the sarcasm in his mate’s voice. “Thanks, Moony. ‘Knew you’d understand.”

Remus rolled his eyes again and stepped to the side, allowing Sirius to fully tackle James. They fell to the floor and started wrestling. James heard Micah snort. Then the sound of a playful nudge.

“Don’t encourage them!” Remus chastised. 

“What do you want me to do? It’s not like I’m the one on the ground fighting my best mate.”

“Don’t encourage them!” Remus said, exasperated– though James heard the smile in his voice. “Distract one of them or something.”

“Potter!” Micah called and James disentangled himself from Sirius to look at them. “Did you hear the good news?”

“That Moony was actually able to get the booze for the party?”

“No. Well, yes, he actually did.” Micah smiled. “But, I’m the commentator tomorrow.”

“No shit! Really?” James sprung up, absently pulling Sirius up as well. “That’s great!”

“James,” Mary sighed, hiding her smile behind her hand. James turned to her. “Why are you and Sirius in your pjs?”

James looked down at himself, even though he knew that he was still wearing them. “We were ready for bed when we…”

“Started your game of tag?” Remus offered when James couldn’t think of anything, taking another puff of a joint.

“Yes!” James pointed at Remus. 

They all started to work towards the tower.

“So,” Peter started. “James called Regulus fit?”

Sirius glared at James. “Yes.”

“He’s not wrong.” Peter and Remus said in unison.

“I hate all of you and hope you all die.” 

Micah snorted. “I didn’t say anything!”

“Neither did I!” Mary piped.

“Dead to me by association.”

“Aw, don’t be so bitter, Stars,” Remus cooed. He was walking backwards and just had to lean forward a bit to blow a bit of smoke directly into Sirius’ face (to which Sirius turned red). James looked over to Micah, to gauge how they would react to their boyfriend almost flirting with another dude– James knew that Remus wasn’t flirting, he was just high, but it seemed that way– but Micah just laughed and held onto Remus’ arm. They reached over to steal Remus’ joint as he turned around to face the right way.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow.” Peter sighed wistfully.

“For the game?” James asked hopefully.

“No.” Peter said, flat. “The party afterwards.”

“We better win.” Mary said. 

“We will.” James assured her.

“No, but seriously– don’t you dare make that joke, Sirius– Lily and Severus made bets.” Mary explained. All of the marauders instinctively rolled their eyes at Snivellus' name.

“What were the wagers?” Remus asked.

“Slytherin wins…” Mary trailed off, studying James with her tongue poking the inside of her cheek. “You know what? I’ll tell you all in the locker room tomorrow. For motivation.”

James groaned. “You suck, Mary.”

“Yeah and well too.”

The boys all groaned while Micah and Sirius cackled (James even heard Remus snort before stuffing it. He was always so much less of a prude when he was high). They said the password to the Fat Lady (which James always found to be an offensive name) and entered the common room, instantly finding Lily and Marlene in their group’s usual spot by the fireplace.

“Why are you two in your pjs?” Marlene asked when they walked over and all sat down.

“Why aren’t you, McKinnon?” Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Life’s an uncomfortable bitch; dress comfy.”

“Did you just quote third year me?” Remus asked, staring at Sirius incredulously.

“Maybe.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“You know, one day your eyes will get stuck like that.” James chastised.

“Yes, mum.” Remus rolled his eyes, smiling.

“Speaking of mums,” James sat up and crossed his legs underneath him. “How’d you like that chocolate bark Mami sent you?”

“Ate the whole thing.” Remus sighed wistfully. “You have to tell her to send me more.”

“Speaking of sending things,” Marlene started, pulling out a crappily-wrapped package from behind her. “Remus, why did my owl bring me this? Who’s Charlie?”

“Yes!” Remus exclaimed and reached over to take the package. “I needed to use someone's owl, Marls. Sorry.”

“Who’s Charlie?” Sirius asked. 

“My muggle friend.” Remus explained, opening the package. “The one that I worked with?”

“Oh.” Sirius nodded. “Is Charlie a boy or a girl?”

“Neither. Yes!” Remus pulled out a vinyl cover.

“Is that a vinyl?” Sirius jumped up from the carpet, placing his hands on the bottom cushion of Moony’s armchair– that he was sharing with Micah (they were essentially in each other’s laps). If Sirius was in dog form, James thought, then he would’ve been wagging his tail.

“Yeah!” Remus smiled down at him before looking back at the album cover as he turned it over in his hands. “I asked Charlie to send it to me. It’s Pink Floyd’s new album.”

“We have to listen to it at the victory party!” Mary suggested.

“Don’t jinx it!” Micah rolled his eyes.

“Trust me.” Mary grinned, mischievously. It was almost cat-like, her smile. “We’re going to win.”

Lily’s brows furrowed together. “How do you sound so sure?”

“You underestimate James Potter’s quidditch skills when he has the right incentive.” Mary winked at Lily. Lily’s eyes immediately widened in understanding. 

“What the fuck did you bet on, Evans?” James groaned, hanging his head back. “And why will Mary not tell me?”

“You’ll see tomorrow, Potter.” Lily shared a secret, knowing smile with Mary.

~ ~ ~ 

Saturday | October 4th, 1975

“Do I get to know now?” James asked as he sat down, making pleading eyes with Mary and Lily. 

“Nope.” Mary popped the ‘P’. 

“Why not?” James whined.

“We have to make sure you're zealous.” Lily quirked her eyebrows. “Trust me, I wanna win this bet.”

“And we’ll win it for you!” James said. “Just tell me what these added stakes are!”

Both girls shook their heads, smiling.

“Evil spirits, you two are.” James crossed his arms, pouting. Which made the girls laugh.

“What’re we pouting about?” Remus asked as he sat down. James immediately started making Remus’ plate. The other three marauders had started making Remus’ plates for him every meal in order to save him from the silver. Remus didn’t love it– because he hated being fussed over in any shape or form– but allowed it because the alternative was to continuously transfigure the silver cutlery into tin every single meal. 

Sirius sat opposite James (Peter beside him), and took one look at James and the girls– who were still laughing– and knew. He laughed and started making Remus’ tea, “He’s pissed because the girls won’t tell him Lily and Snivellus’ bet.”

Remus made an understanding ‘ah’ sound before digging into breakfast, smiling a little smugly. James snapped his gaze to the werewolf. “You know what it is, don’t you?”

“Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.”

“So, you do!”

“Remus,” Lily dragged out, warning clear in her voice.

“Clover, come on. You know me. As if I’d tell James.” Remus smiled at her. She grinned back and passed him the last chocolate chip muffin. “Love you, Lils.”

“Love you, Re.”

“So, what I’m gathering is,” Micah sat down on the other side of their boyfriend. “If you give Remus chocolate, he just instantly loves you?”

“Obviously.” They all said. Micah snorted.

~ ~ ~

“Okay, Macdonald.” James crossed his arms over his chest. They were all dressed now, the girls having just come into the main locker room. “What is it? What happens if Lily wins the bet?”

The other players lean in. Only Marlene and Sirius understood what was going on, but Gryffindors are curious by nature and their quidditch team was a prime example of that. Even if they didn’t know what was going on, they still wanted to know about any bet that was made.

“Oh, James.” Mary cooed softly. Like a parent to their kid or someone to a pet when they’re about to have to get coerced into going to the dentist or vet. “It isn’t what will happen if she wins that you have to worry about.”

“Then…” James made a confused face. “What’s the big deal?”

“It’s what will happen if she loses.”

Sirius straightened up. “Why?”

“James,” Mary smirked, a truly devilish thing. “If Slytherin wins this match-” She leaned forward. “Lily has to go on a date with Snape.”

The world went red and time stopped.

Oh.

Ohhh.

Slytherin didn’t stand a fucking chance.

# # #

Interlude

Dorcas Meadowes

“MERLIN!” Micheal Evont’s voice rang through the podium as James made another point. “Ten more points to Gryffindor! This is a massacre!”

Slytherin had zero points. Absolutely not one. It wouldn’t even matter if Regulus caught the snitch now, they’d still lose. Truthfully, Dorcas was about to beg Regulus to just catch it anyway, just to put her out of her misery.

It was ironic, really. Dorcas was the best chaser on her team… but they’d never pass it to her. She had to steal the quaffle herself to be able to score. If she did score (which she would, if she shot it. She had an impeccable shot), the captain would get upset that she fell out of turn. Dorcas was barely allowed to play. She never got a chance. She was hardly a part of the team. If Slytherin won, she got no credit. If Slytherin lost, she was blamed. She was dragging the team down.

How did that work?

Dorcas left the game and flew up to where Regulus was flying in place next to McKinnon. They weren’t even looking for the snitch. They were just watching the madness pass below them. Dorcas had to admit, it was entertaining. She didn’t know what was put into Potter’s coffee that morning but she could only pray for the other teams if it happened again. He was on a roll. Fortescue and Macdonald had scored as well but it was clear that they were fine with just being along for the ride.

“Hey, Cas.” Regulus nodded when she joined them. Regulus wasn’t a real smiley person unless he was 1) drunk or high, 2) alone with just their friends, 3) talking to a cat or thestral (Pandora liked to hang with them), or 4) with his brother. “Coming to enjoy the show?”

“Of course.” Dorcas looked past Regulus to McKinnon. “You wouldn’t happen to know what’s up with Potter, do you?”

Dorcas didn’t like McKinnon. Let’s get that clear. She hated her for multiple reasons. The stupid, childish reasons that Dorcas blamed it on if asked by someone (that wasn’t friends with Dorcas): she was a Gryffindor, she was loud and brash and annoying, she was close with Potter and the ‘marauders’, she was too into muggle stuff for a pureblood, yada yada. The real reasons: she almost unrecoverably ruined Dorcas’ potions grade in fourth year, her eyeliner, her messy, blonde hair, her a-little-too-big-for-her-face grin, her shamelessness, her humour, her diamond blue eyes that Dorcas could get lost in… it didn’t matter the real reasons. Dorcas hated her.

And that was okay. Because McKinnon shared that hatred.

Still, McKinnon was in a bit too much of a good mood to care as she watched the game.

“Oh, I know.” She grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Care to share with the class?” Regulus raised a brow.

“Snape and Lily made a bet on which house would win.”

Regulus and Dorcas both scrunched their noses at the mention of Snape. They may not hate the slimy git as much as Regulus’ brother or the star chaser down below, but neither of the pair had managed to meet someone who actually did like the asshole, other than his three friends.

“Oh?”

“If Snape wins, Lily has to go on a date with him.”

Dorcas’ eyes bulged, and she could tell that– if they weren’t with someone that he didn’t know as well– Regulus’ would’ve too.

“And Potter found out?”

“Nope.” McKinnon popped the ‘p’ and looked at the two Slytherins. “Mary told him.”

“Smart girl.” Dorcas hummed.

“Hey,” McKinnon lost some of her smug arrogance. She bit her lip and looked cautiously at the other two. “Do you guys and your lot want to come to the afterparty?”

Regulus raised his eyebrows and glanced at Dorcas before facing McKinnon again. “You want four Slytherins– three Slytherins from the rival team– and their friends to come to a Gryffindor party?”

McKinnon nodded.

“Why?” Dorcas asked, sceptical.

“You’ve been such a good sport about the whole thing– the match, I mean– and you’re Sirius’ brother. He’d love to have you there, and Remus and Pete are friends with Rosier and Crouch, and everyone likes Pandora.” McKinnon rambled.

“We’d still be Slytherins at a Gryffindor party.” Regulus pointed out.

“No one would care.” McKinnon shrugged, though there was nothing casual about the gesture. “Not after this anyway.” She eyed the game.

“We’ll think on it.” Regulus said.

McKinnon– for whatever reason– looked to see Dorcas’ reaction, as if she’d ever let one of her best friends go into enemy territory alone. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Dorcas sighed. McKinnon looked far too happy with this information.

“THAT’S 400 AND 20 POINTS, FOLKS!” Evont announced. 

“Reg!” Dorcas groaned, banging her head against her broom handle. “Put us out of our misery! Please!”

“Fine.” Regulus rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. He looked to the Gryffindor. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, of course not.” She laughed. “Go on ahead.”

Regulus caught the snitch.

# # #

430 - 150

The only points Slytherin made was when Regulus caught the snitch.

James’ feet landed onto the grass, and he was instantly tackled by his teammates and surrounded by loads of Gryffindors. Hands were on his back, patting him in congratulations. Sirius all but tackled James, arm around his neck in a tight hug. James couldn’t find Remus or Pete but it was more likely that they were standing off near the edge of the large group to avoid getting swarmed and were probably going to offer their congrats later. 

“Yes!”

No moment later, James was jumped on by a short redhead. James caught her almost instinctively. Lily’s arms were around James’ neck and he used the momentum of her running at him to spin her around with his arms gently on her waist. 

The fellow Gryffindors made a little bit of room, everyone in the house (in the whole school, really) knew how much James liked Lily. If she was finally giving them the time of day and– unbelievably– willingly hugging him after a quidditch match when it is well-known knowledge that Lily hated quidditch, then they could at least give the two some space so they could watch it play out.

James set Lily down. There was a moment– five seconds or five minutes, James couldn’t tell– where the two stared at each other. James was taller than Lily, almost comically so, so he had to really bend his neck to maintain eye contact. Lily’s eyes were usually considered ‘emerald green’, but James had never thought of them like that. They weren’t dark enough to be emerald, not in this light anyway. In the daylight, her eyes resembled more that of a peridot. They had a yellow tint like sunlight through tree leaves in the early morning. 

James had always loved Lily Evan’s eyes. He loved them when they were hot with anger or cool with disdain. He loved them and yet, he had never seen them this close up before. He was almost scared to breathe, as if a single breath from him could wake Lily out of this trance and she’d hit him and back away. Vaguely, James was still aware that his hands were still on her waist and her arms were around his neck. 

Then, she let out a shaky exhale, “Thank you, J- Potter.”

A smile grew on James’ face, “You almost called me James.”

“I absolutely did not!” Lily huffed. She released her arms and hit him lightly in the chest. 

“You did!” James grinned. “You absolutely did!”

“You’re ridiculous, Potter.” She rolled her eyes, taking a step back and shaking her head. 

“Yes, but this ridiculous boy just won a bet for you.” He teased.

“Oh, please. As if you'd ever let Slytherin win a match.”

“But, I scored 390 points for you.” 

“You would’ve done so anyway.”

“I may be an amazing quidditch player-”

“Wow, Potter, ever so humble.”

“Humility wastes time.” James shrugged. “As I was saying, I might be amazing at quidditch but I never would’ve scored so many points without the proper motivation.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “Oh?”

“So, please, Evans.” James moved to where he was in front of her again. “I knew what would happen if Snape won, but please tell me what you’ve won.”

“You’ll find out tomorrow.” Lily smirked. “For now, let’s just enjoy a party.”

She tapped a finger to his chest and swung around to find her friends. James just stood there, stunned. He was blinking but he wasn’t sure if he was breathing.

“Wake up, lover boy.” Micah laughed, throwing their arm around James’ neck. “We’ve got a party to get to.”

~ ~ ~ 

An hour later and James was already on his way to being very drunk. 

The marauders’ favourite thing about a party– other than then music, getting sloshed, and the party itself– was getting a break from the school uniform and getting to wear muggle clothes. James was wearing his light-denim, baggy jeans and a silk, red button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and buttons undone to his naval. Sirius was in black jeans that flared a little at the bottom, a black vest that’s sleeves opened up almost to the bottom hem, a silver chain as a belt, and another, thinner one around his neck. Peter was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt and light blue and yellow striped short-sleeve unbuttoned over it like a jacket. Remus was in a dark teal button up, slightly unbuttoned to show off his necklaces, baggy jeans slung a little lower on his hips than usual, and his brown leather bomber jacket. He was also wearing quite a few silver-alloy rings.

The girls looked just as amazing, if not way more so. Mary was in a short, white silk slip dress. Lily was a green, crochet top and denim mini skirt with her hair straightened and down her back. Marlene was in tight, red leather trousers that flared at the bottom and a lacy, black cropped vest.

James, Sirius, Mary, and Marlene were dancing in the middle of the common room while the other three of their group stood by the wall, monitoring. Then, the portrait opened– no one really paid attention due to the music, lights, and noise– and four Slytherins and a Ravenclaw walked in. James stopped dancing to stare. 

The five didn’t really seem to know what to do but they all had very different expressions. Dorcas looked sceptical but intrigued. Barty looked absolutely thrilled and somewhat unhinged. Regulus looked absolutely bored. Pandora looked hopefully and innocently excited. And Evan looked guarded but secretly excited. 

James made his way over to them, weaving in and out of the crowd until he stood in front of them. “Hi! Sirius will be so excited you’re here, Reg, but quick question. Why are you here?”

Evan raised an eyebrow. “We were invited.”

“Oh.” James looked confused for a moment but he smiled warmly at them. “Cool. Great! By who?”

“Me.” A breathless voice said, Marlene appeared beside him. She smiled broadly at the group. “Hi! Welcome!”

“Yeah, welcome to Gryffindor!” James spread his arms, presenting the room. The Slytherins looked unimpressed. “Drinks are over there. Warning: there is an enchantment on it– by our very own Lily Evans– that makes it to where no one under the age of fifteen can drink so… sorry? The makeshift dance floor is in the middle. It’s really loud right now, but it will eventually kind of settle down to just a few people and then we’ll play a few games probably. The music is controlled by Remus and Peter so if you want to add a song to the queue, then you better hope that we have the vinyl and ask them to play it. Other than that… have fun!” 

With that, James turned on one foot and returned to Sirius. 

“Prongsie!” Sirius cheered.

“Hey, Pads.” James said. “Did you see who just arrived?”

“No?” Sirius looked towards the entrance but they weren’t standing there anymore. “Who?”

“Your brother.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up. He placed his hands on James’ shoulders to try and push himself up to see over all the people. “Really!? Where?” He shook James. “Oh merde! Merlin, James! Did you see him?! Did you see him!? He’s here! Holy Godric of Gryffindor, he’s actually here!” And then Sirius ran off to tackle his brother.

James laughed. Leaving Mary– who had found a new dance partner– James went and joined Pete, Moony, and Lily. “You lot look like you’re having loads of fun.”

Remus rolled his eyes, smiling slightly. “We would smoke but our dear Lily here doesn’t want to set a bad example for the younger years.”

“And we don’t want to stink this place out with the weed.” Peter said.

“That too.”

“Hi,” Micah came over. Lily made room for them to squeeze between her and Remus on the wall. “Enjoying yourselves, are you?”

Remus bent down to kiss their cheek– a quick and subtle action that if anyone saw, they could blame on the alcohol. “Now, I am.”

Micah beamed and looked over to James. “Great game, captain.”

“Thanks, Micah.” James said, grinning. “Amazing commentary.”

“I try my best.” Micah bowed dramatically.

“Pandora!” Lily squealed, throwing a hand up in a wave. “I’m going to go say hi to Pandora. See you later, guys.” And she left.

“Yeah, I couldn’t help but notice the few snakes we brought in.” Micah teased.

“Marls invited them.” James glanced over his shoulder but he couldn’t see them well. 

“I'm glad.” Peter smiled. “I haven’t hung out with Crouch or Rosier in forever.”

“You mean that you haven’t gotten high with Crouch or Rosier in forever.”

Peter smirked. “Same difference.”

“I’m going to go dance.” James told them. “Have fun. Make good decisions.”

“Yes, mum.” Peter and Remus said in sync.

James rolled his eyes and left to go to the party.

# # #

Interlude

Evan Rosier

Evan was drunk. Don’t ask him how because he honestly couldn’t remember. He knew that Potter had said that the drink table was bewitched by Evans so that no one under the age of fifteen could drink. Evan was fourteen. He wouldn’t be fifteen until Valentine’s day in four months or so. So, how did he get his hands on alcohol? Who knew?

Evan was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace. It was nearing midnight and the party had barely settled down, still raging on around him.

He wasn’t exactly the biggest ‘party’ person. Evan was more of a ‘quiet night in bed’ kind of guy. More of a ‘small gathering of just his friends’ kind of guy. Problem was that his best friend was a party person. Luckily, Regulus wasn’ta party person either, so he was sat in the armchair beside Evan’s.

They were talking– about nothing of too much value, seeing as both were pleasantly pissed– when a fiery redhead appeared in front of them.

“How in Merlin’s name did you two get alcohol?” She groaned.

“How do you know that we got alcohol?” Evan asked, smiling dopily.

Lily raised one eyebrow, unimpressed, and crossed her arms. “What’s the fifth letter in the alphabet?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Evan huffed.

Lily rolled her eyes, albeit a little fondly. 

“We might be drunk, Evans- oh Salazar!” Evan perked up in his seat and grabbed Lily’s hand. She looked mildly surprised but didn’t yank her hand back. “You should marry me, Evans!”

“This sounds vaguely familiar.” Regulus fake yawns. Lily snorted at that, covering her mouth with her hand that wasn’t being held by Evan.

“We should get married!” Evan repeated. “That way, my name could be Evan Evans!”

Evan burst out in giggles at this. Even Regulus and Lily laughed.

Barty appeared out of– what felt like– thin air, and slumped right into Evan’s lap. He immediately started playing with Evan’s hair. Evan didn’t second guess it; he knew how touch-y Barty was and he was too drunk to care.

“CJ, guess what?” Evan said, giddily.

Barty looked at Evan. “What?”

“Lily Evans and I are getting married.” Evan said simply with a smile. Lily snorted. 

“But, I thought that we were married?” Barty frowned. “Are we not husbands?”

“Oh.” Evan bit his lip, thinking hard. “Can we allow Evans to join our marriage? We can be one of those poly things!”

“Why?” Barty tilted his head to the side.

“So I can be Evan Evans.” Evan said. “And she can be Lily Rose-ier.”

Lily guffawed in laughter, falling to sit on the coffee table.

Barty hummed before nodding. “Okay. I think this could be a reasonable proposition.” He turned to the ginger. “Want to join our marriage?”

Lily studied the pair of teen boys– one of which sitting in the other’s lap. “Are you two actually dating?”

“No.” Barty said. “That would make us boyfriends. We’re not boyfriends; we’re husbands.”

“You’re drunk too, aren’t you?”

“They’re not dating.” Regulus explained, slightly less tipsy than his friends. “They started this joke at the end of last year. They were both high and found out that they shared a crush and somehow, in their high minds, decided that that made them husbands.”

“Ah, I don’t understand the reasoning.” Lily said. “But, I get that it’s an inside joke.”

“So, you won’t join our marriage?” Evan pouted. Barty took one look at him and copied the expression.

“Sure, why not?” Lily rolled her eyes. “I’ll marry you two, but I expect a ring.”

“Yes!” The two boys cheered, Barty throwing his hands up in celebration. Evan looked at his own hands and then at Lily’s. Her hands seemed really small, so he took off his pinky ring. It was silver, wrapped around rose quartz. He pulled it off and held it out to the Gryffindor. She looked at it, confused. “Your wedding ring.”

Her eyes widened for a moment before grinning and accepting it. It fit on her ring finger exactly. She held it up to the three Slytherin boys. 

“That’s it. We’re official. Congratulations. We’re married.” Lily looked over her shoulder and waved someone over. “Potter!”

He jogged over instantly. “Yes, Evans?”

She held up the ring to him. “I’m married!”

His eyes widened, almost comically so. “What?! To whom?”

“These bitches!” Barty exclaimed, gesturing between himself and Evan.

“Yeah, tough luck, Potter.” Evan grinned.

“Oh no.” James dramatically put one hand to his heart and the other to his forehead, falling to his knees. “The love of my life has married another! Whatever shall I do?! I guess that I’ll just have to marry someone else.” James peeked one eye open to look around the room, before his gaze landed on Regulus. “Oh! Regulus Black, will you heal my shattered heart and marry me?”

James went the full mile and propped himself up on one knee, presenting his hands like he was holding a ring. Regulus just looked on with a face of distaste. In the flickering light of the fire, Evan could just barely see the blush that crawled up his neck.

Evan, Dorcas, Barty, and Pandora all knew about Regulus’ not-so-secret crush on James Potter from second year. It had mostly passed, but still. There’s definitely something to have your childhood crush imaginary proposing to you.

Regulus raised a singular brow. “Where’s my ring?”

“Oh.” James’ face went blank as Lily, Evan, and Barty all laughed. 

“Do you take me for some cheap hoe, Potter?”

“No!” James jumped to his feet, head swivelling as he scanned the crowd before running off. He returned not even ten seconds later with a silver and onyx ring. He resumed his proposing position. “Regulus Black, will you marry me in order to heal my broken heart?”

“What if I don’t care about your broken heart?”

“What about getting even with Rosier and Crouch?”

Regulus furrowed his brow as he thought on it. Eventually he nodded. “Sure, why not.” 

James beamed– a little too ecstatically, if you asked Evan– and placed the ring on Regulus middle finger (because his ring and index were too small).

“Whose ring is this?” Regulus asked.

“Remus’.” James said. “He’s the only person that wears rings that I could think of.”

“So am I married to Remus then?”

“No.” James crossed his arms, pouting a little. “You’re married to me.”

“Fine.” Regulus rolled his eyes.

“Sirius!” James called, standing up. Sirius– from what Evan saw– detached himself from some random girl and came over. “Me and your baby brother just got married!”

“Oh? Oh. Oh!” Sirius went from being confused to weirded out to excited very quickly. He roped James into a one-armed hug. “Can I be the best man?”

“To whom?” Regulus asked. “James or I?”

“Can’t I be both?” Sirius looked confused at the idea. “I can be the best-est of men!”

“Wow, you’re even more sloshed than me, Pads!” James’ eyebrows raised. 

“We’re all clearly way too drunk.” Lily's eyes widened as she blinked. “Because I just married two, drunk Slytherin fourth years and Sirius is okay with James and Regulus. This is either the result of far too much firewhiskey or we’re in an alternate universe. Either way, I think I’m going to go ahead and get to bed. I’ll see you all tomorrow!”

“Bye, wife!” Barty called to the retreating girl.

“Bye, husbands!” She called over her shoulder, a single hand going up as a lazy wave.

“I feel like I should be really concerned.” Remus said, walking over. “Why and how is Lily Evans married?”

“Lily Rosier.” Evan corrected.

Remus looked at the blond boy flatly. “She married you? The boy with another dude in his lap? Who is Barty in this scenario? The mistress? The side whore?”

“How dare you!” Barty gasped, hand to his chest. “I’m the main whore! I’m no one’s side chick. She’s married to me as well.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at him and looked over to Regulus for support.

“Don’t look at me, Lupin.” Regulus crossed his arms and leaned back into the chair. “I’m now married to Potter.”

Remus ran his hand down his face. “Of course you are.”

“Are you upset that we didn’t invite you to the wedding?” James pouted. “If we had more time, we would have invited you.”

“You’d be the ring bearer.” Regulus added, flatly.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I don’t actually care. I came over to ask James and Sirius something.”

“Oh?” Sirius looked up, hearing his name.

“Yeah, can I have the dorm room for a bit?” Remus asked.

Barty and Evan wolf whistled.

The colour drained from Sirius’ face in an instant and even James looked shocked but nodded. “Sh- sure. Go ahead. Don’t take too long.”

“That’s mean.” Remus winked before leaving.

Barty turned to Evan, making him ignore whatever James and Sirius were saying. Barty had the tendency to do that with Evan. If Barty gave Evan attention or required his attention for something, Evan’s mind just gave it to him, no questions asked. He really ought to think about why his best mate had this uncanny ability to just grasp his attention whenever he wished, but Evan didn’t really want to think about that. He was sloshed right then, let that be his excuse.

“I think we all got lucky tonight.” Barty whispered. “We got married, Regulus got married, Remus is getting laid, Pandora got to hang out with her crush, and Dorcas is getting pretty cosy with a certain, blonde Gryffindor at the moment in the window.”

Evan snuck a peek and Dorcas was in fact sitting with none other than Marlene McKinnon in the windowsill. Evan looked back at Barty, unable to look away again from those crystal blue-grey eyes.

Evan wrapped his arms, which were just laying limply beside his thighs, around Barty’s waist and rested his head against his best mate’s chest. Barty’s arm fell over Evan’s shoulders.

“We’re very lucky indeed.” Evan whispered.

And it felt true.