Show Me How
Peter Pettigrew
Sunday | September 14th, 1975
“I think you’re being stupid.” Peter said firmly.
“So grateful for your opinion, as always, Pete.” Remus rolled his eyes. They were walking together to the greenhouses, but not to smoke (their usual reason for going to the greenhouses just them).
“He likes you! He clearly likes you!” Peter exclaimed. “He’s been flirting with you!”
“Maybe, he just has a flirtatious personality.” Remus shrugged, still not looking at Peter. Which was annoying. Especially on the account of being the tallest and the shortest of the marauders, Peter’s forehead was usually aligned with Remus’ collarbone. So without Remus directly looking at him, Peter couldn’t even really see his face. “You know, like Sirius or Mary? They flirt with me as well, but we’re just friends. Platonic.”
‘ Yeah,’ Peter thought, bitterly. ‘ I’m not sure that Sirius’ feelings are quite so platonic anymore ’.
Peter had no evidence that Sirius had a crush on Remus. In fact, Peter also had no evidence that Sirius was even not-straight. It was just a feeling. Sirius stopped flirting with Remus this year, and the way that Sirius had looked at him when he was high… (both times but especially last night). Peter was super sure that Sirius liked Remus like that but had no way of actually knowing for sure.
“Pete?” Remus’ words broke through Peter’s thoughts. “You okay? You went silent.”
“Michael doesn’t flirt with me.” Peter said. “They only flirt with you.”
Michael had also just come out to Peter the other day when they were all by the lake.
“Maybe they’re the most comfortable with me.” Remus suggested. “We’ve only been friends with him for a week.”
“Really? Really, Moons? They’re more comfortable with you than the three guys they’ve been on the quidditch team with for years?” Remus didn’t have a response to that. Peter continued, “Why won’t you just admit that they like you, you like them, and you could do something about it!?”
“What, Peter!?” Remus burst out. “What can I do about it, Pete? Fucking date them? At this fucking school? Please! And, even if we weren’t torn to shreds for being a queer couple, what would happen when they notice that I get sick every month? At the exact same time.”
“Maybe they won’t notice the pattern?” Peter offered. Remus gave him a flat look. “ We didn’t figure it out until second year.”
“I avoided you a lot for almost the entirety of first year.” Remus reminded him.
“Yeah, but we were your roommates.”
“And they’d be my partner.” Remus said wryly. “I think they’d notice.”
“What if we lied?” Peter offered. “They’re in the year above you so you don’t share any classes. You just say you have detention or prefect rounds or something outside of that. You’re the best liar out of all of us.”
“That’s not exactly something I’m proud of, Pete.”
“But, it’s something you could use!”
“Okay, say I lie about getting sick around the moon, what about my scars?” Remus said. “I’m not foolish enough to think that a teenage relationship will exclude shagging. Everyone’s used to the scars on my face, but I think that Michael might start asking questions when he realises that I’m covered in them.”
“My relationships exclude shagging.” Peter grumbled, crossing his arms. Remus gave him another flat look. Peter rolled his eyes. “What do you tell the muggles you date over breaks?”
“The truth!” Remus exclaimed. “They’re muggles! When I say that the scars are from a werewolf, they think I’m joking and assume I don’t want to talk about it and move on but, Michael is a pureblood! That won’t work.”
“Is it really so bad if they find out you’re a werewolf?”
Remus glared at him and Peter immediately shrivelled up. A ‘Remus glare’ was a truly frightening thing. Peter had only ever seen a few times and all of them had been directed at Sirius after ‘the Prank’.
“Got it. Bad idea.” Peter grumbled. The glare was lifted.
“I don’t understand why you want us to get together so bad.”
“You deserve to be happy, Moony.” Peter murmured. But, of course, Remus heard him (super werewolf hearing and all of that).
“I am happy, Pete.”
“You deserve to love .” Peter amended.
Remus bit his lip, clearly not agreeing.
They made it to the greenhouses and Peter led the taller boy near the back where his project was. Then, an idea sparked.
“What if he didn’t see them?” Peter asked quietly.
“What?”
“Do you know what plant this is, Remus?”
“No. You’re the herbology expert here.” Remus huffed, crossing his arms. “Not me.”
“Atticitus Morpheaiti.”
“The urge to say ‘bless you’ is strong.”
“It’s really difficult to grow, but at the end of the month, it’ll be ready to be harvested and used.”
“Okay? Good job.” Remus smiled. It was a genuine compliment. No matter how confused he might be, Remus never lied about being proud or gave out fake compliments– one of the biggest reasons Peter liked him so much. “What’s it used for?”
“Lots of things.” Peter shrugged. “But, the biggest one is disillusionment potions.”
Remus’ eyebrows raised, but he didn’t jump to conclusions, even if he was starting to see where this was going.
“What if– and hear me out, Remus– you magic your scars away.” Peter suggested. Remus opened his mouth, but Peter beat him to it. “Yes, I know. Magic scars can’t heal. That’s why your werewolf scars won’t go away but you’re not healing them, you’re temporarily hiding them. The potion only lasts five hours or so, and it won’t take you five hours.” Peter felt himself pale, looking at Remus with big eyes. “ Will it?! ”
Remus smiled and raised his eyebrows. “No, it won’t take five hours.” Remus leaned back onto the greenhouse table. “It’s not a bad idea, but what about full moons?”
“You don’t have to be with them every night.” Peter said. “Like I said, you don’t share any classes with them so you don’t have to lie or hide how sick you are during the day. We already have detentions somewhat regularly and you can always just be doing something else. Like studying with Marlene or hanging with Mary or prefect rounds with Lily.”
“Michael is a prefect too, he’ll know my rotations.”
“So, don’t lie about that.” Peter grinned; he loved plans coming together. They’re like puzzles or a game. Maybe that’s why he loved chess. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll help you, Remus.”
Remus looked at Peter earnestly. “You’d do that for me?”
“Anything for our Moony.” Peter smiled. Remus smiled back.
“You’re a good friend, Wormtail.” Remus said, wrapping Peter in a side-hug.
“You deserve it, Remus. So, you’ll date them?”
“If they ask me, I’ll think about it.”
“Good enough for me.”
~ ~ ~
“I win.” Peter declared, flopping into the chesterfield beside Mary. Lily and Marlene were in opposite armchairs.
“Win what?” Lily asked, looking up from her chess match with Marls.
“ I convinced Moony to date Michael.”
“No way!” Marlene gasped, abandoning the game.
“What? How? I tried Friday, and he ended up calling me out and making me question my relationships.” Mary pouted.
“Someone had to.” Lily said under her breath. Mary heard and stuck her tongue out at her.
“So are they dating now?” Marlene leaned forward, elbows on knees.
“No, but Remus is actually open to it now.”
“Why wasn’t he open to dating Michael originally?” Marls asked.
“That’s up to him to tell you.” Peter said. “Just know that he’s finally okay with dating wizards.”
“I always wondered why he only ever dated muggles.” Marlene leaned back.
“They’re easier.” Mary and Lily said in sync. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“Hey, Wormy!” James slid down the stairs and jumped up to the couch, leaning over his hands on the back. “Marauders meeting. Upstairs. Come on!”
Peter rolled his eyes and stood up, following James and sending an apologetic look to the girls. He looked at James, “What for?”
“Prank planning.” James opened the dorm room door.
“Without Moony?”
“He’s on the way.” Sirius said, not looking away from the map. He was laying on his stomach on his bed, feet kicked up on the headboard.
Peter raised his eyebrows. “Are you tracking him?”
Sirius immediately dropped the map like he got caught– which Peter, of course, noticed and added to his mental folder labelled ‘ Evidence that Sirius has a crush Remus ’. Sirius– not as subtly as he probably thought– checked the map again. His eyes widened and he shoved the parchment off the bed, just as Remus walked in.
Peter snorted. Remus noticed (werewolf senses and all that) and looked at Pete questioningly, which made Peter have to stifle his laughter.
“So,” Remus started, walking straight to the window, popping it open with a practised flick of his wrist, pulling out a fag, setting it between his lips, and snapping his fingers to light it. Peter wasn’t attracted to guys, but he could really understand where Sirius and Michael were coming from. “Marauders meeting?”
“Yes!” James grinned. “Prank planning. It’s what? The end of week two of the marauders being at Hogwarts and not even a single dung bomb? What is this? Amateur hour? Who even are we?”
“I think we’re a little past dung bombs, aren’t we, James?” Remus said, with an unimpressed raise of the brow. He blew smoke out the window. Peter checked on Sirius and had to stifle his laughter again. Sirius was about to start drooling, it looked like.
James rolled his eyes. “That’s not the takeaway here, Moons. It’s the fact that we used to do pranks twice a week and now look at us. We’ve gotten boring!”
“We’ve gotten older.”
“Tomato tomato.” James flicked his wrist as if brushing Remus’ comment away. Remus rolled his eyes fondly. “What are we thinking, lads?” James tilted his head at Sirius, smiling knowingly ( so he knows as well , Peter thought). “Pads? Any ideas?”
Remus looked over at Sirius and that seemed to wake the long-haired boy up. “What?”
“Any ideas? For pranks?”
“Oh, um.” Sirius furrowed his brows, worrying his bottom lip. “We could replace the coffee with that fake coffee stuff.”
“Decaf?” James suggested.
Remus gasped, looking absolutely affronted and appalled at the idea of it. Peter laughed.
“I think that if we want to eliminate the possibility of Remus murdering anyone before our first class, we’ll think of something else.” Peter smirked. “Moony wouldn’t survive without his coffee.”
“It keeps me nice.” Remus returned the fag to his lips. Peter watched as Sirius followed the motion.
“What about sticking the furniture to the ceiling?” James offered.
They all (minus Remus) suggested multiple ideas, all of which got shut down (‘we can just set off fireworks in the Great Hall, that needs to be the flash ending to something else’). Remus didn’t suggest anything. He tended to– from what Peter had gathered after five years of friendship– observe and only say an idea when he was sure it was good.
Then James mentioned (as a joke) giving everyone gillyweed and flooding the hallways, and Peter saw the spark light up in Remus’ eyes. It was that exact look that Remus got every time a prank or idea formed. Peter watched his eyes wander around the room unfocused, which meant that Remus was visualising everything that needed to go into the idea.
Remus had once tried to explain to Peter (in third year or so) how he thought in 3D. Peter didn’t understand but he could only imagine what was going through their Moony’s twisted little mind then.
Sirius and James must’ve recognized the look as well because they both stopped throwing out suggestions and looked over at Remus.
“What if…” Remus looked up, eyes focusing again just to see everyone’s attention already on him. He looked shocked for a moment but quickly recovered. “What if the ceiling in the Great Hall wasn’t so fake?”
Peter felt his brows furrow in confusion. The ceiling in the Great Hall was enchanted to always project the sky outside. What would… oh. Oh, wait.
This was going to be cool.
~ ~ ~
Tuesday | September 16th
The entirety of Remus’ plan was to find a way to enchant the ceiling of the Great Hall to act like what it was projecting. So– specifically on a rainy day– the rainy clouds would actually rain down on the students.
However amazing the plan was, it still required a lot of research, which is why all four of the marauders were around a secluded table in the back of the library. Remus had covered the area with a perfected silencing spell (‘ muffliato’ which made the boys able to hear each other but no one outside the table could hear anything) and some sort of basic disillusionment charm (because everyone knew that the all four marauders in the library meant trouble).
“So,” Sirius closed his book. Peter knew that Sirius was already almost at his limit for sitting still at one time. Sirius never had to study (perks of having an almost perfect picture memory) which worked out well for him because he could never stay still for long. Even when sitting ‘still’, he had to be playing with his wand or pen or hair or tapping his fingers against the desk or something. “Why are weather altering spells so hard? This is taking forever!”
James checked the time. “And Sirius and I are going to have to head over to practise soon anyway.” James looked up at Remus and Peter. “Call it a night?”
Peter looked at Remus, they nodded.
“Yeah, we’ve done enough.” Remus shrugged. “You two head to practise. Pete and I can clean up and return the books, yeah?”
“Cheers, Moons.” James smiled.
“Thanks, Moony.” Sirius stood up, and the black-haired boys left.
Remus waved his wand and Peter felt the light pop! of the silencing charm being lifted. They cleaned up, returned the books, and started back to Gryffindor Tower.
“That’s not how it works, Pete,” Remus rolled his eyes as they walked.
“Why not?” Peter said indignantly.
“Because you have to consider all of the variables!” Remus said. He took a breath. “I’m just saying-”
“Saying what?”
Peter and Remus both turned to see that Michael had appeared and was just walking beside them.
“We’re talking about the logistics of weather spells.” Remus said, deadpan.
Michael smiled. “Nice. What for?”
Peter and Remus exchanged a glance.
“Nevermind. I don’t actually want to know.” Michael said immediately. “Marauder prank business. I want absolutely no association.”
“Good plan.”
“I knew this year was going too smoothly.” Michael sighed wistfully. Remus and Peter laughed and Michael bumped their shoulder against Remus’. “So, when is it? You know, so I know what day I’m conveniently sick.”
“Well, we need some stuff from Hogsmeade potentially.” Peter said. “That’s what? Not this weekend but the next?”
“So, after that. Maybe.” Remus finished, looking at Michael. “Before the quidditch match the weekend after. We also have to wait for the potential potion to brew-”
“Want to go to Hogsmeade with me?”
“And, we’ll have to wait for it to actually ra-” Remus cut himself off with a click. He stopped walking in the middle of the hallway, turning to Michael. Michael had gone a few more steps forward so they had to fully turn around to smile at Remus. “Wait, what?”
Peter grinned and took a few steps away.
Michael took a step forward towards Remus. “You heard me. Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?”
“Like a-”
“Like a date.” Michael finished with a confident smile.
“You’re asking me out on a date?” Remus specified, incredulous. “Actually?”
“Yes.” Michael took another step forward, still smiling. “Unless you don’t like me like that or don’t want to-”
“ No !”
Michael raised an eyebrow.
“No, I want to.” Remus amended. “I want to go.”
Michael smiled and let out a breath. “Thank Merlin . Because it was going to be bloody difficult for me to try and pretend that I meant it platonically.”
Remus smiled back.
“ Finally !”
The two of them looked over to Peter.
“Took you long enough, Michael.” Peter rolled his eyes.
“Actually, if you all don’t mind,” Michael said, rubbing the back of their neck. “I think I’d like to go by ‘Micah’ from now on. It’s more gender neutral.”
“Ace.” Remus smiled. “Now, you have a nickname too.”
Micah’s smile grew.
~ ~ ~
Thursday | September 18th
The girls had all cheered and immediately demanded drinks when Remus told them the news about his date with Micah. Which is why they showed up to Thursday morning Transfiguration slightly hungover. McGonagall definitely noticed but didn’t say anything (a win in Pete’s books. He was there when they were drinking).
Now all of the girls and marauders were in the boys’ dorm, seated on the beds and floor while they planned both the party that they were going to have after the quidditch match and their Hogsmeade plans.
“We need decorations,” James said. He was the only one standing; in the centre of the group, pacing while checking his clipboard (something Peter and Remus always tease him about afterwards). “Lily, Marlene, can you-”
“Got it covered.” Lily interrupted. She was on Remus’ bed, right beside Remus, who was unbraiding Mary’s hair for her (she wanted her curls back for Hogsmeade).
“Brills as always, Evans.” James grinned that dopey grin before turning back to his clipboard. “Mary’s got out-of-house invites covered, right?”
“Right!” Mary sang, filing her nails.
“And then we need alcohol.” James continued. “Remus, you usually get that, so at Hogsmeade, you and I can go stock up…”
“Actually,” Remus cleared his throat. He pat Mary’s shoulder to let her know that she was finished. “I can’t. I’ll be busy.”
James stopped his pacing and everyone looked up at Remus. The girls and Peter knew what he was about to say but the other two boys didn’t. James looked confused and Sirius looked almost appalled or concerned.
“What?” Sirius pushed himself up onto his elbows. He had been laying on his bed (in a Remus jumper, Peter thought to mention). “Why? What will you be doing?”
“I have a date.”
Peter watched as Sirius stilled, paling significantly. James glanced at Sirius.
“With who?” James asked, knowing that Sirius was unable to find the words.
“Um, Micah.”
~ ~ ~
Sirius Black
Micah.
Micah.
Remus was going on a date with Micah.
Micah.
Who’s Micah?
Micah.
As in Michael?
Michael Evont?
Michael’s a boy.
Remus was going on a date with a boy.
With Michael Evont.
Remus was going on a date with a boy.
Remus.
Moony.
Moony liked boys.
Moony.
Remus.
Remus.
R e m u s.
“Micah?” James asked.
“You know,” Remus said. Sirius looked up at him. “Evont.”
James’ eyes widened even more. “You’re going on a date with Michael!?”
“Micah.” Peter corrected.
“Yeah,” Remus cleared his throat and straightened his back. “They told me that you two– James, Sirius– were the only ones that they hadn’t come out to yet-”
“They?” James looked as confused as Sirius felt.
Remus. Date. Remus. With a boy. Remus. Gay? Remus. Remus. Moony. Remus. Remus.
“I’m getting there,” Remus said. “Micah is queer.”
“Queer?” Sirius parroted. Remus looked at him and Sirius couldn’t handle that. Remus had that spark in his eye, the one that said that he was prepared to fight if need be. Remus. Remus. Moony. Remus. Moony.
“I didn’t realise that ‘queer’ was a label.” James thought aloud. Remus turned to him and Sirius was able to breathe. “I thought that it was an umbrella term.”
Remus looked pleasantly surprised. “It’s its own term, and it’s the label they chose.”
“I’m still confused about the whole ‘they’ thing.” James said. “Are we still talking about Michael or are we talking about multiple people? Wait, are you going on a date with Michael and Micah? Are they two different people?”
“Micah is Michael.” Remus explained. “Micah doesn’t have a gender so I use ‘they/ them’ pronouns.”
“I don’t think I understand.” James said earnestly.
“So, you’re a bloke, Prongs. When I talk about you, I use the pronouns ‘he’ and ‘him’,” Remus stood up and leaned against one of the posters on his bed. “Lily’s a girl. When I talk about her , I use ‘her’ and ‘she’. Micah isn’t a girl or guy, they don’t have a gender, so I use ‘they’ and ‘them’ when I talk about them.”
“Oh,” James hummed. “I didn’t know that that was a thing. I get it now, I think.”
Remus hummed.
“You’re going on a date with Michael.” Sirius repeated.
“Micah.” Remus corrected coldly, not looking at Sirius.
“ Micah ’s not a girl.”
Remus looked at Sirius then, looking at him like he was being stupid. “Really? Really, Sirius?”
Remus rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the pole. He grabbed the two boxes off of his bedside table (a cigarette pack and his card deck box), his zippo, and the folded map. He walked out, angry.
The door slammed closed and Lily whirled around to face Sirius. “ Sirius! ”
Sirius looked up at her. She looked vexed but Sirius didn’t care. All that was going through his head was Remus.
Remus. Remus. Remus on a date. On a date with a boy. A not-boy? Remus. Remus. Sirius is a boy. Sirius isn’t Micah.
“What the hell, Sirius!?” Lily shouted.
“Hey, Evans, calm down.” James tried to walk over to her.
“Piss off, Potter!” She stood up and stormed over to Sirius' bed, standing right above him. “What the actual hell, Sirius?! I thought you’d be okay!”
“Hey, Lily.” Mary tried.
“No, Mary! Don’t stand up for him!” Lily hissed over her shoulder and turned back to Lily. “Why-”
“Lily!” Mary yelled. Lily shut her mouth and whirled on Mary– who had walked right up to Lily– fully ready to yell at her too. “He’s not being bloody homophobic!”
“How would yo-”
“Because I’ve come out to him! And I’ve come out to James too!” Mary exclaimed hotly. “They’re not homophobic!”
“Well, maybe-”
“No!” Mary cut her off. “Trust me. They’re– he’s – not homophobic! He’s just in fucking shock! Remus didn’t even come out Sirius and James before this. Let Sirius fucking adjust to it first and then maybe yell at him. Yeah?”
Lily bit her tongue, shot a glare at Sirius, and stormed out. Marlene stood up. Mary and the three boys turned to her expectantly.
“I know you two aren’t homophobic.” She said to James and Sirius. “But, someone has to… I’m going to go talk to her.”
She left.
“Sirius?”
Sirius turned. James and Mary had knelt down beside him. Peter was now standing, a ways away.
“Are you okay?” Mary asked gently. “I know you-”
“ Don’t .” Sirius whispered, shutting his eyes. “ Please .”
“Sirius,” Peter said. Sirius opened his eyes to look at him. “I know.”
Sirius looked at him, mask falling into place, building up.
“I know how you feel about Remus.”
Sirius showed no emotion. No emotion. Emotion was weak.
Weak. Weak.
Emotion. No emotion. No feelings.
You’re back there…
No emotion. Weak.
Weak.
Weak.
“Sirius?” James called again. “You’re okay. You’re safe. It’s fine. It’s all okay.”
“Remus is going on a date.” Sirius said blandly. “He’s going on a date with Micah. I’m fine.”
Sirius stood up. Mary and James followed suit.
“It’s Thursday.” Sirius said. No emotion leaked through his voice. “I don’t want to be late.”
“Late?” Mary looked at James, confused.
“Sirius meets up with Regulus on Thursday nights.” James explained.
“I’ll see you all later.”
And Sirius left.