Lockdown
The first thing Regulus Black did upon entering the bookstore was inhale deeply, releasing a sigh that lessened the tension he had been carrying in his chest and shoulders for what felt like weeks now. He imagined that he could still smell the essence of books, the crispness of ink on fresh paper, newly baked chocolate chip cookies and coffee grounds conjuring a sense of peace.
In reality, he mostly smelled the stale air-and-vanilla-mint-chapstick-and-laundry-detergent scent that lived in the fabric of the black mask he had pulled up over his nose and mouth. Had he been asked a year ago—no, even three months ago—if this was where he saw things headed, the answer would have been a resounding no. And yet, here he was, borderline-jittery about visiting a mostly empty chain bookstore on a random Tuesday night.
Regulus sort of liked wearing a mask—he liked the feeling of anonymity it provided, like being in disguise. Not that Regulus needed to be incognito—even if he hadn’t just moved to a new town where he knew absolutely no one, apart from his brother and his fiancé. The mask was like a safety net, an excuse not to falsely smile just because he happened to make eye contact with a stranger. Smiling had never been Regulus’s default mode. It’s not that he was an unhappy person, he just wasn’t… overly happy.
He stopped at the café first, ordering one of the giant chocolate chip cookies and tucking it into his French blue messenger bag, already anticipating enjoying it over a cup of tea and a good book. He couldn’t resist ordering a hot cocoa with cinnamon and extra whipped cream, and he discreetly pulled his mask away and sipped it as he browsed, green headphones clapped over his ears and rendering his curls hopeless as he listened to his chill playlist.
Peace, he thought, was a bookstore and a warm beverage and soft music.
He settled deeper into the giant hoodie that Sirius had left at his place—a hoodie that Regulus is fairly certain Sirius stole from Remus. It does not matter. It was cozy and broken in and hung on Regulus’s admittedly delicate frame, creating additional armor between him and the rest of the world.
The chocolate and cinnamon danced on Regulus’s tongue as he plucked books from the shelf, snapping photos of the covers so that he could remember to add them to his ever-growing TBR. He perused the young adult section, looking for something breezy to break up the slog through his current read, War & Peace. He settled on one called Life As We Knew It, which was on one of the featured young adult tables and seemed so appropriate that he couldn’t help himself from huffing out a slightly bitter laugh.
*****
The April evening was unseasonably cold, a sharp wind taking Regulus by surprise as he walked briskly to his car upon exiting the shop. He got into his car, removed his mask and tucked it over the gearshift on the center console, locked the doors, and leaned over to use the sanitizer he now kept in the cup holder. He sighed, rolling his eyes as he somehow managed to squirt sanitizer on the windshield, onto his forehead, and on his hands. Bloody useless.
Regulus had always been a bit… neat, is how Remus described him. Fussy was Sirius’s word of choice. People were just so disgusting sometimes and it wasn’t Regulus’s fault that he preferred to use a paper towel to open the door in a public restroom or to remove his shoes and outdoor clothing before resting in his home. This pandemic was making him a bit neurotic, and as the weeks went on with no end in sight, he caught himself spiraling on more than one occasion.
He still didn’t know his way around this new town, but GPS existed for a reason and quarantine was driving him a bit mad. He was listening to Brand New’s The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me album and trying to squint around the smear that the hand sanitizer left on his windshield. His little hatchback was too low to the ground and everyone in this wretched town drove a gigantic vehicle and insisted upon using their high beams, causing a horrid glare.
Mercifully, he hit a stoplight and tried to lean forward to clean it off with his sleeve. Somehow, he made it worse. It was dark, the road was slick and glaring off the headlights after the rain earlier, and vehicles soared around Regulus as he dialed down the volume and slowed down to ensure he didn’t miss his exit.
Which… of course he did. He made a wrong turn, got lost, and ended up on another exit leading to Mary only knew where.
The whole thing felt rather treacherous—there were too many intersecting roads, and people drove poorly, and he himself was not an exceptionally confident driver. Regulus much preferred to walk or sit in the passenger seat. Driving was one time he was perfectly fine with relinquishing control, though the pandemic had not been helpful in his getting acclimated to a new town, to which he had move to be closer to Sirius and Remus.
“Speed check ahead,” the GPS announced, feminine, smooth.
“Oh fear not, I’m bloody crawling because I’ve no idea where I am!” he snapped aloud in response to the GPS’s cool robotic voice.
Talking to inanimate objects was never a good sign. Regulus sighed, inhaling and exhaling as he allowed the device to reroute him to his new home.
*****
Regulus finally arrived home, dropping his messenger bag rather unceremoniously by the door. He had left the light on—he hated coming in to a dark house—and paused at the silence.
“Cosmic?” he called. “Cosmic Creepers, where are you?”
He smiled softly to himself as the pattering of paws marked the enthusiastic arrival of his tiny black puppy, tail wagging so much at the sight of Regulus that his entire back half was wiggling. Regulus scooped the minute creature up into his arms and was rewarded with frantic licks all over his face.
Sirius had talked him into getting a pet for his home when he first moved (“Make it less like a moody crypt in here, Reg,”) and Regulus was now the proud owner of a lockdown pet.
They had been sitting in Sirius’s living room, eating a charcuterie tray that Remus had prepared and sharing a bottle of wine, and somehow they’d ended up browsing photos of puppies ready for homes. Regulus had been adamantly against it until he scrolled to a photo of the sweetest creature he’d ever seen on four legs, and it was under the influence of those doleful puppy eyes, his persistent brother, and perhaps too much white that he reached out and made the necessary arrangements. Sirius had crowed with joy, which prompted Regulus to say, “if you’re so excited, why don’t you get a puppy?” before Remus shot him a withering glance.
Somehow two bottles bled into three and they had ended up reminiscing over childhood movies, trying to explain between the two of them the plot of Bedknobs and Broomsticks, which had been a favorite. (Remus hadn’t seen it.) They hadn’t had much as children that they could look back on with anything other than horror, but the times that Regulus was able to stay up late with his brother and watch movie after movie, learning about the world, hoping against hope life was better elsewhere—well, those were among his fondest memories.
Within moments, Remus had found the film in question on the telly and they began watching it, Remus with a wry smile playing about his lips as Sirius mouthed the words to certain parts. When the cat, Cosmic Creepers, made its entrance, Sirius sat up and exclaimed that that should be the name for Reg’s new dog. Regulus sat there, rolling the name around in his mouth and tasting the feel of it, and so Cosmic came to be.
Now, Regulus led the little puppy to the kitchen, where he bustled about preparing the tea kettle and serving the pup its final bit of food for the day. He quickly changed and lit a candle, preparing to relish in the peaceful mood he had established since returning home after the Purell Debacle. He’d just settled into the coziest spot on the sofa, warmed cookie and mug of tea within reach, book in hand, when his phone lit up, drawing his attention.
Regulus threw his head back, groaning. Of course Sirius chose this moment to FaceTime. He stared darkly at the silently ringing screen (his phone hadn’t been off of silent mode for a decade), contemplating not answering, but he knew Sirius would just continue to call—or worse, drive over.
Better answer then.
“Oh there you are, Reg!” Sirius grinned. “Thought I was going to have to drive over there.”
Regulus rolled his eyes—he knew his brother too well.
“That’s really not necessary,” Regulus said pointedly.
“You haven’t texted me back all day—could be lying dead in a bloody ditch.”
“Oh yes, my life is simply fraught with peril,” Regulus said sarcastically, flipping the screen to display the puppy nestled into his blanketed lap, tea, candle, and pastry in the background.
“Ah, reading then?”
Regulus bit back another sarcastic retort.
“I was about to, actually—it’s been a bit of a long day,” he said.
“Everything all right?” Sirius asked, tossing his hair and leaning closer to the screen, as if he were actually able to get closer to Regulus that way.
“Yeah, just getting a bit redundant, you know? I went to the bookstore tonight,” Regulus said. “Bloody weird, felt like a ghost town.”
“All the swots are staying home,” Sirius chuckled. “Actually, that’s why I rang.”
Regulus raised a brow.
“I’ve got to get out of the bloody house,” Sirius continued. “Remus is having an affair.”
Regulus’s heart dropped to his stomach—an achievement, considering he was nearly horizontal.
“H-he what?!” Regulus sputtered.
“Yeah. Bastard keeps picking Animal Crossing over me,” Sirius whined.
“Anim—what? Sirius, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” Regulus exclaimed.
“We’re Blacks, darling, of course we’re theatrical,” Sirius lifted his chin. “Anyway, he plays that ruddy game twelve hours a day, I swear.”
“Don’t listen to him, Regulus!” Remus’s voice called from the background.
After a moment of shuffling, the top half of Remus’s head emerged in the upper right corner of the screen.
“Hiya Reg,” Remus grinned.
“Hello, Remus. Pleased to hear I won’t have to hex you or hire a hitman or something,” Regulus said drily.
“Anyway,” Sirius said, sliding back into view. “I need to get him out of the house so he can remember how amazing I am and how there is more to life than his imaginary island.”
“I see,” Regulus said, though he didn’t see at all.
“He wants to go for a hike, Regulus, and he wants you to come with us,” Remus said, casting a not-so-patient look at Sirius in spite of the fondness of his tone.
“Oh, er…” Regulus quickly rolled through his mental rolodex of excuses, coming up short.
“Oh go on, Reggie, you’ve got nothing else on—we’re in a bloody pandemic,” Sirius said.
“All right then, fine,” Regulus said, somewhat petulantly. “I’ll go.”
*****
And that was how, that Saturday morning, Regulus found himself lacing up his until-then-mostly-aesthetic hiking boots and heading to meet his brother at the nearby wildflower reserve.