the welcome back feast, regulus part 2
To say that regulus had been happy when he had been sorted in to ravenclaw, would be an understatement. his parents had told him that he was to get into slytherin, but that he would not be a digress over being sorted in to ravenclaw. still he knew that when he went home next, a little pain would come. and probably a new scar as well.
But as he sat next to pandora he found himself not caring all that much. he liked her alot, and she would be a nice friend. he was of course still scared of the returning home but less then he would have thought.
But he knew that when he lay in his bed tonight trying to sleep, the feelings would come. The shaking in his hands.
The feeling of not being able to breath.
The tightness in his chest would come.
And every scar would feel like it was on fire.
Not now, regulus thought as things became a little blurry and his hands shook a little. until he felt someone slip a hand into his, and grib his hand. when he looked up he found pandora, looking at him, hints of worry in her pretty blue eyes.
"Are you okay” she said still holding his hand, not letting go.
Regulus mouth feelt dry, and he could not get words out. so he just nodded, and pandora seemed to somehow know what to do as she took up his glass, and pressed it into his hand.
He lifted it to his lips, and the liquid that came into his mouth feelt so nice. even if it was just pumpkin juice.
“Yeah, im okay” he manage to get out, past dry lips. pandora seemed to look him over one more time, before standing.
“Well then lets go, we better found the others” pandora pulled her up and regulus let her because it feelt nice not having to think of anything but just walking.
They found the other just outside the great hall, the 3 of them leaning up against the wall.
“Well there we have the new little ravenclaw” barty said as he pushed of the wall and looked regulus up and down.
Regulus lightly punched him in the arm, and barty pretend it hurt and fell back into evan. but regulus was pretty sure barty just used that as an excuse to have evan’s arms around him. Regulus was not quit sure of their relationship.
“Comeon, we will walk you two blue’s back to ravenclaw tower” dorcas said laying an arm across pandora’s shoulders.
It was not long after they had begun walking that they all heard.
“Regulus!” and they turned around to see sirius, walking toward him. “hey reggie, can we ehm talk?” his brother stopped in front of them, and regulus looked him over.
Sirius had grown since he left grimmauld place. his hair had also become longer. one of the things there mother always hated about sirius. regulus was pretty sure that was why he had grown it out. regulus turned back to his friend.
“We will wait here” pandora said before regulus could get a word in.
So regulus just nodded, then turned around to his brother.
His brother nodded toward a classroom, and regulus followed him. he stepped inside, as sirius took a seat on one of the desk.
“So what did you want to talk about” regulus said crossing him arms over his chest.
“How are you” sirius said picking at his pants. like he was nervous being here, and regulus wanted to yell just how he was.
That he was fucking scared of going home.
That he was made at sirius for leaving him in that house.
Wanted to push up his sleeve on his arm to show sirius the new scars on his arms.
The ones on his chest.
His legs, his everywhere.
But he didn’t. he just took a shaky breath in and said “Im fine”
“Oh bullshit regulus, you're not fine!”
“Well what do you care, you have your friends why dont you just go back to them!”
“Your my brother, i care about you!”
“Since when!”
“I have always cared about you regulus, you just don't care about anyone but your self”
“Oh fuck of sirius, we have barley been brothers since you came home from your first year at hogwarts and all you could talk about was, potter this, potter that. he is you brother!” regulus yelled, then spun on his heal and walked out slamming the door behind him.
He found his friends in the same spot he left them.
“Don't” regulus said when he could see them getting ready to ask about it “just don't, please”
The group seemed to share a look, but none of them said anything about it as they walked back to the ravenclaw tower. pandora pointed out things for regulus along with dorcas. barty and evan walked behind them arguing about something stupid.
“We have to answer a riddle to get in” pandora said as they stood in front of the raven that would let them in to the common room
“I have hands but I can't reach out to touch you, I have a face but cannot see you, what am I?” the raven asked.
Behind the barty groaned talking about this being so stupid. pandora seems to give it a thought, but regulus already knew the answer, to him it seemed obvious. maybe also something to do with his parents making him study riddles, so that he could answer them if anyone was to ask.
“A clock” regulus said, and the raven swung open
“Oh yeah, that would have taken me some time to figure out” pandora said “well bye” she said to her friends and brother and pulled regulus in. regulus waved at the 3 slytherins.
The ravenclaw common room was high to the selling, and with stars painted on to it. high windows, on every wall, and large bookshelves all around. tables with chairs around them. and two stair case leading up, to what was probably the dorms.
“That one leads to the boys dorms” pandora said pointed.
“Im gonna…”
“Yeah i get it, see you tomorrow” regulus was fast up the stairs and pushed upon the door to the dorm with “5” on it.
His 2 other doormates, looked at him. one asked him if he really was sirius blacks younger brother. all regulus did was nod the walked to his bed, took his sleeping stuff and walked to the bathroom.
As he lay in bed, the whole room quiet, he thought that maybe this would not be so bad.
But then the nightmares came
Of sirius screams, and cries of pain
the pain across his chest, seeing sirius on the floor twitching in pain
Regulus sat up with a gasp. the whole dorm was still quiet not a sound but his dorm mates breathing. regulus tired to get his breathing under control. and slowly it went front the gasps to a more relaxed breathing. regulus got out the bed, and stumbled to the bathroom
When he got up of the floor from throwing up, he walked to the sink, splashing water in his face. he looked at himself in the mirror, and stared at himself. the eye bags forming under his eyes, his black curls sticking to his forehead
“your fine, your fine, your fine, your fine” he whispered to himself trying to convince himself that he was okay. he was regulus arcturus black, heir to the noble and most ancient house of black. he was not going to let a night mare take him
regulus laid back in bed, and stared at the ceiling, he hoped that it would be better from now.