Chapter 10
It's been a few days since Halloween Night and Black's attack on the Fat Lady portrait. Everyone has been talking about it nonstop and no one seems to figure out how he got in. I, also, have some theories of my own, none worthy enough to voice out loud, though.
All the professors (and Weasleys) have started taking Harry's safety even more seriously now, and considering they were all over him before, it says a lot about the severity of the situation. Ron, Hermione, and I (yes, me too) try to stay close to him at all times. Even Percy will not leave his side, always around the corner looking for danger.
I've spent the last week trying to think of a way to bring up what I think I found out about Lupin. I have no idea if Harry'll believe me. Hell, I don't even know if I believe me.
Its the day before the first match of the year. Our team was supposed to play against Slytherin but yesterday at lunch Kathy told us that Cedric told her they were playing the first match because Malfoy - in her words - is being a whiny little bitch.
Now I have to listen to him whine some more for his shit act that, quite frankly, doesn't fool anyone. "Ah, if only my arm was feeling a bit better!" he sighs.
I feel like punching him in the face every single time I see him. Fred said I should start working on my violence tendencies when I almost Flipendoed Malfoy's ass three days ago and he had to physically drag me away. And that was before I even found out that his whining has cost unnecessary stress to all my Quidditch playing friends.
Harry also told me that McGonagall almost didn't let him play. Thankfully she didn't make him sit this match down because then we'd have been completely hopeless. And honestly I don't think Harry would be able to handle all of the stress people are putting him under right now without the distraction Quidditch is offering him.
I'm on my way to DADA class with Hermione and Ron, Harry is probably still at practice with Wood. It's still weird being around them. I don't know how to act and I don't know where I stand with them. Hermione was - still is - my best friend but I really don't know how she views me. And Ron, he's Harry's best friend and our relationship doesn't feel like anything more than that, at the moment.
When we get to the classroom Lupin isn't there. In his place stands Professor Snape with his usual frown/scowl/generally ugly expression on his face.
"What is Snape doing here?" Ron whispers, crouching closer to Hermione's left side.
We both shrug at him. "Maybe Lupin is sick?" Offers Hermione.
The full moon...
I try not to jump to conclusions as I sit down next to Hermione, Ron in the table behind me. The class is about to start and Harry still isn't here.
A minute later, Snape closes the doors with a quick wave of his wand. Without any explanation as to why he's the one teaching us and not Professor Lupin, he begins the lesson. "Today's lesson will cover a new subject." He says. "As Professor Lupin hasn't left me with clear instructions of what he was going to teach you this week or what you've already covered, I took it upon myself to pick a particularly interesting topic for you."
Hermione's hand shoots up, no doubt to list all the topics we already covered with Lupin. I bit her to it, voicing my curiosity without waiting for permission to do so. "Where is Lupin? Why are you teaching us today?"
Snape doesn't even look at me when he answers, "Professor Lupin is unfitted to teach today's lesson, he asked me to fill in for him. Now, as I was say—"
"What's wrong with him?" I ask, cutting him off.
"Nothing that should concern you, miss Potter." He hisses, cutting his creepy gaze to me. "And the next time you speak without permission will cost your house ten points."
Before he can continue the lesson the door opens hastily and in walks my brother. "Sorry I'm late, Professor Lupin, I-" He halts in his spot at the door once his eyes lend on the greasy haired man at the top of the classroom.
"This lesson began ten minutes ago, Potter, so I think we'll make it ten points from Gryffindor. Sit down."
Harry doesn't move. "Where's Professor Lupin?" He asks, just as I did a moment ago.
Snape sighs, "As I already explained to your sister, he says he is feeling too ill to teach today," he says. "I believe I told you to sit down?"
Harry stays where he is. "What's wrong with him?"
Snape's black eyes glitter with anger. "Nothing life-threatening," he says, looking as though he wishes it was. "Five more points from Gryffindor, and if I have to ask you to sit down again, it will be fifty."
Harry walks slowly to his seat next to Ron and sits down.
Snape looks around at the class. "As I was saying before both Potters interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far –"
"Please, sir, we've done Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas and Grindylows," says Hermione quickly, no longer able to contain herself. "and we're just about to start –"
"Be quiet," says Snape coldly. "I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organisation."
"He's the best Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had," defends Dean Thomas boldly, followed by a murmur of agreement from the rest of the class. Snape looks more menacing than ever.
"You are easily satisfied. Lupin is hardly over-taxing you – I would expect first-years to be able to deal with Red Caps and Grindylows. Today we shall discuss –" he flicks through the textbook, to the very last chapter, which he must know we hadn't covered.
"– werewolves," says Snape, and I feel the blood leaving my face. I freeze, not even able to breathe. There is no way this is a coincidence. No way. But why would he do this? Why would he lead us to the clues to finding out what Lupin is?
"Miss Granger," says Snape, bringing me out of my head. I was so disoriented by what Snape did that I didn't even hear what Hermione said. "I was under the impression that I was taking this lesson, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page three hundred and ninety-four." He glances around again. "All of you! Now!"
I open my book with shaking hands. I look at the pictures on the page. I feel a little dizzy, I think I might be sick.
"Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?" Asks Snape.
What's he doing? What is he up to? I can't make sense of what he is doing. Why would he help Lupin with his... condition, when he wants people to find out what he is. Or maybe he didn't have a choice but to help him. Maybe Professor Dumbledore knows about it too and asked him to help Lupin, surly he can't say no to Dumbledore.
Everyone is silent, everyone except Hermione, whose hand, once again, shoots straight into the air. It's not like I don't know the answer, I just don't want to participate in this little mind game.
"Anyone?" Snape says, ignoring Hermione. His twisted smile is back. His eyes land on me for a brief moment as I glare at him.
I know what you're up to, I tell him in my head.
"Are you telling me that Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between –"
"We told you," says Parvati suddenly, "we haven't got as far as werewolves yet, we're still on –"
"Silence!" He snarls. "Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognise a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are..."
"Please, sir," says Hermione, whose hand is still in the air, "the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf –"
"That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," says Snape coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."
I hate him. Truly, I do. Not to mind the fact that both me and Harry have spoken "out of turn" he decides that Hermione answering the question is the thing to focus on. I glance at Hermione who went very red, she puts down her hand and stares at the floor with her eyes full of tears. I focus my gaze back at Snape ready to give him a piece of my mind when Ron speaks up. "You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be told?" He glares at Snape. I've never been this proud of him in my life.
Snape comes up to Ron slowly, "Detention, Weasley," he says silkily, his face very close to Ron's. "And if I ever hear you criticise the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed."
No one makes a sound throughout the rest of the lesson. We sit and make notes on werewolves from the textbook, while Snape prowls up and down the rows of desks, examining the work we have been doing with Professor Lupin. The more I read about them the more I see the signs that Lupin really is a werewolf.
When the bell rings at last, Snape holds us back. "You will each write an essay, to be handed in to me, on the ways you recognise and kill werewolves." And suddenly I understand. I understand why he is doing this. He wants Lupin to read those essays, he wants to hurt him. "I want two rolls of parchment on the subject, and I want them by Monday morning. It is time somebody took this class in hand. Weasley, stay behind, we need to arrange your detention."
Harry, Hermione and I leave the room with the rest of the class. When we are far enough from him that he cannot hear us they burst into a furious tirade about Snape.
"Snape's never been like this with any of our other Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers, even if he did want the job," Harry says. "Why's he got it in for Lupin? D'you think this is all because of the Boggart?"
"I don't know," says Hermione pensively. "But I really hope Professor Lupin gets better soon..."
Ron catches up with us five minutes later, in a towering rage. "D'you know what that tosser is making me do? I've got to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing. Without magic!" His fists clench in anger at his sides. "Why couldn't Black have hidden in Snape's office, eh? He could have finished him off for us!"
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It's been a few hours since our lesson with Snape. I'm making my way to the common room from dinner, deep in thought. Lupin wasn't at the Great Hall neither for lunch nor dinner. How bad was the full moon? What if Snape is making the potions wrong on purpose so he would feel worse afterwards... I can't help but worry about him, even though I don't really know him, even though he might be helping Sirius Black and endangering my brother.
I don't think I've said a single word since we left class. Harry, Ron and Hermione still aren't sure, just as I am, how fragile our relationship is so they didn't push me to talk or tried to ask me about what I'm thinking. Eventually they just kind of left me alone.
Fred and George on the other hand...
They catch up to me halfway up the tower. "Well, hello there. How is our favorite Potter girl?" One of them asks. I'm not paying enough attention to them to make the distinction.
I think I say something that resembles the word "fine."
"Charlie?" Someone is touching my shoulder, shaking me gently.
I look up to him, it's George. I look between him and Fred, shake my head to get my thoughts in order and answer again. "Yeah, I'm- I'm fine."
"Very convincing." Says Fred from my right.
"What's the matter?" Asks George, a bit more sympathetically.
"Nothing," I say even though I know they won't believe me. "I was just deep in thoughts."
They share a look over my head. "Is it about Billie?" Asks Fred.
I frown at him. "Why would you think it was about Billie?"
He glances at his brother for a second, then at me. "He got into a fight with Russell earlier today." Then, when he sees the look of confusion on my face he asks, "You didn't know?"
No, I didn't know. I haven't even noticed if he was at dinner. "No."
"Well they were shouting and shoving at each other outside, at the courtyard." He explains. "We broke it off before a professor caught wind of it."
"Why were they fighting?" I ask them. It's not like Billie to get into fights, he must've had a good reason.
"We're not sure." Says George, not very convincingly.
I fix him with a harsh look.
"Well, we weren't there when it started so we don't really know why it did, but..."
"But what, George?" I urge him to continue.
"They were shouting and we heard Russell saying some mean stuff about Billie... and you." He poses to look at his brother.
Fred picks up instead, "Maybe you should talk to Billie about this."
I frown "Tell me." I look from Fred to George. "What did he say?!"
They share a look. "It's really not our place to say."
I roll my eyes and start running up the stairs to the entrance to the common room. I say the password to Sir Cadogan (who's replacing the Fat Lady at the moment), I look for Billie as I enter the common room.
He's not here.
I go up to his room, he's not there either. When I go back down to the common room Fred and George have arrived inside, as well as Jamie (and no Billie).
"Jamie!" I yell, running down the stairs.
"Oi, what were you doing up there?" He asks, kind of amused.
"I'm looking for Billie, have you seen him?"
"Not since our last class." He shakes his head. "He said he wanted to catch up on his reading but I thought he'll be done by dinner time."
"So, library?"
He shrugs "I guess."
"Brilliant," I hate the walk to the library at night. "Ok thanks."
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When I get to the library I look if Billie is sitting in any of the tables, when I don't find him I go through the aisles, one by one. I get a little frustrated as I get closer to the end of the hall but then, on the last raw, I find him sitting on the floor, a book perched on his lap.
"Billie!" I say and flinch a little at the loudness of my voice.
Billie looks up from his book, the look on his face tells me he'd been dreading the conversation that's about to happen. He looks down again. "I found this book," he says, frowning. "It's a Potions book." He looks up at me.
"Ok.." I say, coming closer.
"I've been trying to figure out whether what he said is true. I didn't want to believe him but I don't see how he could be lying." He says this looking at me but it sounds like he's talking mostly to himself.
"What are you talking about?" I ask. "What did Russell tell you?"
"Did you give me a love potion?"
What??
"Excuse me?" I say.
"Did you?" He asks again, getting up from the floor.
"No!" I say, insulted. "Why would you think I did?"
"You borrowed this book." He holds up the book.
I did take it, it's one of the books I've been using to find something that would help me with the notebook for Hermione's birthday. It doesn't just have potions, though. It has a lot of spells, too.
"So?" From me borrowing a book to me using one of the potions from it on him is a big jump.
He looks at me like I know exactly what he's talking about and am making a poor attempt at hiding it. "So why would you need a book for advanced potions and spells for?"
"Right," I roll my eyes. "Because the only reason I'd want to look for complex potions and spells is to make you fall in love with me."
At that, he frowns. "Russell told me you used it on him as well-"
"What?! When-"
"He says that's why he's been obsessed with you lately, can't stop thinking about you. That he never used to and then one day he couldn't get you out of his head."
What the actual f—
"And now I can't help but wonder if that's what you did to me." He says, looking me in the eyes. I feel like crying. "Did you give me something so I'll be unable to get you out of my mind?"
"Billie," I look at him meaningfully so he'll know I'm serious. "No. I would never do that to anyone."
"So what the hell happened?" He asks, stepping closer to me. "One day you're a girl I had one detention with and sometimes see in the halls and the next you're all I can think about. It's not something that just happens, Charlotte."
"What, exactly, did Russell say to you, Billie? I heard about the fight."
"He asked if we were together."
I blink. That was not what I expected him to say.
"He told me I was a fool if we were, because you've been giving love potions to half the castle."
I sort of snort but it's more of a shocked chocking sound.
What the hell is he talking about.
"And I got angry." He nods to himself. "I deafened you. I said that it was bullshit and that he was shit for saying stuff like that about you, and then I punched him."
"It is bullshit. I never gave anyone a love potion."
"But then I couldn't stop thinking about it." He says, ignoring me. "Why would he admit to being obsessed with you if he was lying? And why did what he said made so much sense."
"How?? What part of me doing this king of thing makes sense to you?"
"The part where I feel the same as him. The part where so many people we know are so invested in you-"
"What people??" This is insane.
"Weasley-"
"What- Ron? He's my friend." Sort of.
"And Fred?"
"Also my friend." I cross my arms over my chest.
Billie rolls his eyes. "Malfoy. Longbottom. Tom!"
He's got to be imagining things. Malfoy?? He hates me. And Tom and I had like five conversations at most. And Neville, I didn't even think he was interested in girls. This is all a big misunderstanding. Maybe Billie has some feelings for me but that doesn't mean I gave him a love potion for the love of god.
"Billie, are you even hearing yourself? Do you really think so little of me?"
"I don't know what to think." He looks away.
"Well maybe I should give you some time to decide." I say, backing away.
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I can't stop the tears from rolling down my face as I knock on his door. I'm so hysterical I can't breathe. I ran all the way from the library and I feel like my lungs are going to explode.
It was so humiliating. I can't believe this, I really thought we were friends. We are friends. Maybe. Sort of. I don't know now. I genuinely had no idea that he liked me, if I knew I might have - I don't know - gone out with him? Probably not. Or maybe I would've, I really never considered the possibility.
Fred opens the door, then frowns when he sees the state of me.
"Hi" I say. More like choke out.
"What happened?" He says, stepping out into the hall.
"He told me what happened. He thinks I-"
"Yeah, I know."
"Do you think I did that?"
"No" he shakes his head.
"Do people think that? Is Russell just going around telling people I gave him a love potion?"
"I don't think anyone believes him, he's fucking rubbish."
"Billie believed him." I say and I feel my throat closing up as I start to cry again.
Fred pulls me in for a hug. He wraps his arms around me as I bury my face in his chest. He places his chin on top of my head and says, "he's just panicking 'cause he realized that he likes you. I could have told him that weeks ago."
I cry harder.
"Come on" he says pulling me inside his room. I don't bother objecting as he sits me on his bed and tucks me in with the blanket. I'm so tired I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but not before I hear him say "it's going to be ok."
It's not.
because the first friend i made for myself now hates me.