Chapter 8
The thing I love most about quidditch is the amount of practices Oliver makes the Gryffindor team attend. Mind you, I hate the sport, but between that and my "project" (Hermione's birthday present ended up being more complicated than I thought- I didn't finish it on time so I just gave her the quill and some of my old books that I thought she'd like- I'm still working on the notebook, though) mine and Harry's schedules rarely align. We haven't spoken about our fight yet, we just kind of moved past it and decided to not bring it up.
Like we always do.
It's been over a month since the party and I haven't really talked to Fred either, nor George, nor Billie. I just sit by myself in the library for the majority of my days, sometimes Hermione joins.
I'm currently sitting on the sofa in the middle of the common room, reading a book. There is a lot of noise and excitement around me, people are talking about the first Hogsmeade trip, which was just announced. I hear the portrait entrance open and look to see Harry and the rest of the quidditch teem coming back from practice. "What's happened?" he asks Ron and Hermione, who are sitting in two of the chairs next to my sofa.
"First Hogsmeade weekend," says Ron, pointing at the notice on the old notice board. "End of October. Halloween."
"Excellent," says Fred. I keep my head down and eyes on my book so I don't accidentally catch his eye. "I need to visit Zonko's, I'm nearly out of Stink Pellets."
Harry throws himself onto the sofa beside me.
"Harry, I'm sure you'll be able to go next time," Hermione says. "They're bound to catch Black soon, he's been sighted once already."
"Black's not fool enough to try anything in Hogsmeade," says Ron. "Ask McGonagall if you can go this time, Harry, the next one might not be for ages –"
"Ron!" Says Hermione. "He's supposed to stay in school –"
"He can't be the only third-year left behind," says Ron.
"You know I'm staying as well, don't you?" I ask, closing my book.
"Yeah..." says Ron, "you two, then, just ask McGonagall if you can come, go on–"
"Yeah, I think I will," says Harry, not bothering to look at me.
"I don't think that's a good idea," I say and Hermione nods. "She more than likely will turn you down, and besides, I d-"
"You're right." Says Ron, interrupting me. "She'll probably say no to Harry but I'm sure she'll agree to sign yours. You can go ask her for him and we'll copy the signature."
"Ron!" Hermione scolds. "We can't just fake Professor McGonagall's signature. Do you realize how much trouble you can get in?"
"Yeah, and I'm not even-" I try to say but get interrupted again.
"No one will know, they can go at different hours and we'll hide him well." Says Ron.
"If you're going to hide him then what do you need the signature for?" I ask, irritated.
"Well—"
"You know what? It doesn't matter because I'm not helping you. It's dangerous for Harry to go out there right now and I'm sure he'll be able to go on the next trip." I say.
"Here we go again." Harry says under his breath.
"Excuse me?"
He sighs and turns to look at me, "You think you know what's best for me better than me. You do this all the time." He says with an exhausted kind of tone.
I'm honestly shocked beyond words right now. How can he say that when the reason we barely talk for this entire month is the fight we had about him doing the exact thing he's accusing me of? I guess ignoring our problem isn't working for us anymore. It just gives him the impression that he's right and did nothing wrong.
Ron and Hermione are saying nothing. They just sit there looking at each other, waiting for one of us to say something. They won't defend me, they never do. But I think they don't really want to take Harry's side, either. If they did Ron would have said something by now.
"I'm just trying to help you," I say calmly. "You're constantly putting yourself in danger, constantly looking for trouble. And sneaking into Hogsmead so everyone'd think you're in the castle and Black could easily get his hands on you is really reckless."
"Char, nothing will happen—" Ron starts saying but then is cut off by Harry.
"Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot. Like I'm a helpless child and you're my all knowing savior." Harry says to me, "I am very much capable of keeping myself safe. I don't need your help."
"You just asked for my help." I say through gritted teeth. "That's what we're arguing about, isn't it?"
"No. We're arguing because you keep telling me what I should and shouldn't do and I don't want to hear it anymore."
"Okay, I won't share my opinions anymore." I mumble.
"Don't you dare make me feel like an asshole for this." He points an accusing finger at me. "I just don't want to be fussed over like a baby by my twin sister. You're constantly around me, constantly trying to protect me. I don't need you to protect me."
"Fine" I say pointedly. I take a shaky breath, "Excuse me." I get up from my sit and stock off, out of the common room.
I feel like crying, which has been my mood for the past month. I can't control it. I wish I could, I don't want to be that person who whines and makes a scene every time they don't get their way. But it hurts, Harry knows that I love him and want to help him. He doesn't trust me and I can't do anything to change it.
And Hermione and Ron... They don't see me as their friend and I'm not going to pretend otherwise any longer. I need to find new friends. Go my own way here. I don't want to feel like an intruder on them anymore.
I lean back on the wall just outside the common room, needing a minute to compose myself before I can go back inside. And I am going back inside. I'm not going to let this get to me. Not anymore.
"Are you alright?" Someone asks me. I look to see Fred standing outside the portrait.
"No" I breathe out. I lean my head back against the wall. "But I will be in a few moments."
"I heard what he said. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you."
"Yeah..." I sigh. I want to ask him why is it always like this. Why don't I matter to them. But I don't, I just promised myself I won't let it affect me. "I'm sure he didn't."
I push away from the wall and start walking towards the stairs. I need to get out of here, get my head straight before I go back and pretend like I'm fine.
"Where are you going?" He asks, following me.
"I don't know, I need to think." I don't stop walking. He doesn't, either.
I get to the main entrance, walk through the doors and out to the courtyard. I look behind me at Fred, "What are you doing, Fred?"
"We're going for a walk, aren't we?" He grins at me.
"No, I'm going on a walk. You are going back inside."
"Am I? I didn't realize."
"Yes, you are. I want to be alone." I turn away from him and start walking again. He follows me.
"Fred." I scold.
"Charlotte." He mimics.
"Why are you following me? We haven't talked in weeks."
"And whose fault is that?" He asks, coming to stand in front of me so I'd stop walking.
"You could've taken the hint." I say, crossing my arms. I instantly feel bad for saying it but I really just want to be alone. I need to be able to pity myself in private.
"I'm not good at those." He says softly.
I sigh, look down at my feet. "I don't need your pity, Fred."
He's silent for a while and I look up to see him frowning down at me. "I don't pity you."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because you are my friend. I don't want you to be upset."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"Why am I your friend."
"I- because." He says. I raise an eyebrow, urging him to continue. It's petty but I want to know what he thinks about me. He's the only one that came after me and I appreciate it but I need to know if he really think of me as his friend regardless of our siblings. "Because you're Charlie." He sighs, "You're smart and funny and - I don't know- just because. You know I'm not good with this stuff. Feelings."
I hug him. He didn't give me much to work with but I appreciate it nonetheless.
"'You okay?"
"Yeah." I say against his chest.
"I have an idea." I look up at him. "Come with me, I want to show you something." He releases me and takes my hand, leading me back inside the castle.
"Where are we going? I don't want to go back to the common room yet."
"We're not going back to the common room." He says, simply.
"Then where?"
"Surprise."
He takes me all the way up to the third floor and through a corridor until he stops in front of a statue of a witch. Fred looks around us, probably to make sure no one is looking, then taps his wand to the back of the statue and whispers something. The statue moves slowly to the side and reveals a secret tunnel. Fred walks inside the tunnel, still holding my hand.
I stop him, taking my hand back.
"Come on." He says, nodding towards the tunnel.
"You're not going to take me out to the woods and kill me, are you?" I ask cautiously.
He snickers, "I can't promise anything." He takes my hand again and drags me inside and after him. Behind us the statue moves back to cover the entrance and we're enveloped by darkness. "Lumos" says Fred and the tip of his wand lights up.
"Seriously, Fred, where are we going?" I whisper.
He stops walking and turns to look at me "Ok, so here is the deal;" he says, "we're going to go down a small slide now, at the end of which there's this low and narrow road, so you'll need to be careful. Then we'll have to climb up some stairs. When we get there you'll find out where we're going."
"But-"
"I think you should go first." He cuts me of. "Just so I can see where you're going and make sure you don't get lost. Not that there is how to get lost in there."
I blink at him, a bit puzzled. He nudges me forwards and I start walking.
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We've been waking for over an hour and climbing stairs for about 10 minutes when I bang my head into the ceiling.
I hear Fred laughing behind me, "Sorry, I should have warned you." I turn to glare at him, rubbing my hand over my head. "Ok, now open the door carefully, try not to make too much noise." He says.
I reach up and feel the door for a handle. When I find it I push on the door lightly but it doesn't move, I try to push harder until it gives a little and the door opens upwards. I climb up and look around, we're in some kind of a storage room.
Fred climbs after me and heads to the door with no hesitation. He obviously knows where he's going, he's been here before. "Come on" He says.
I go after him. looking around, I note all the shelves that are filled with candy. We walked for a long time, too much time for us to still be at school. I think Fred took me to Hogsmeade, considering it's the closest human civilization to Hogwarts, and I mean, where else would he take me?
He stops me in front of the door, "We need to be quick and very quiet." He says. "Have you figured out where we are?" He asks, a glint of mischief shimmers in his eyes.
I nod slowly, "We are in Hogsmeade."
He grins and nods, too. "We are in Honeydukes' seller. We just need to go out to the shop without being noticed and we'll be fine."
"Ok..."
"Don't worry." Fred says, noticing my unease. "I've done this a thousand times already, we won't get caught." He turns to the door, opening it slightly and looking out to see if anyone is around. "Come on."
We duck out into Honeydukes and crawl away from the seller's door. When we're far enough we get up and I start looking around. I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the smell of sugar and chocolate.
Fred grins at me as I stare wide-eyed at the colorful array of sweets. "Welcome to Honeydukes," he says, taking my hand and leading me deeper into the store. "What do you want to try first?"
We spend what feels like hours sampling every candy in the store, from the acid pops that make my mouth pucker to the chocolate frogs that leap out of their boxes. I feel like a kid in a candy store, which I suppose I am, in a way. Next, Fred takes me to Zonko's Joke Shop, where we spend even longer giggling over the assortment of pranks and tricks. We even set off a few fireworks in the store.
As we wander through the village, I can't believe how much there is to see and do. I'm so grateful for Fred, showing me all of his favorite spots and introducing me to the shopkeepers, he really brought my mood up and I cannot thank him enough. But as the day wears on, I start to feel a flutter of anxiety in my chest. What if we get caught? What if someone sees us and tells a teacher? I don't want to get in trouble, but I also don't want this adventure to end. It's the first time I've done something like that. I'm not a person who takes these kinds of risks. Standing up to bullies, provoking Snape, even using magic outside of Hogwarts (which I didn't actually do), these are the risks I'm willing to take. But sneaking out just for fun, going on adventures with Fred, it gives me a kind of thrill that I never felt before. Probably because it is mixed with hesitation.
Fred must sense my apprehension, because he takes my hand and leads me to the Three Broomsticks. We slide into a cozy booth by the fire, and I'm struck by how warm and comfortable it feels. "Don't worry, Charlie," Fred says, squeezing my hand. "We'll make it back to Hogwarts without anyone noticing." I nod, feeling a sense of trust and connection with Fred that I've never experienced before. We talk and laugh and share butterbeers until the sun starts to set and it's time to head back.
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Ron seemed to be in a bad mood with Hermione all day. He barely talked to her all through Herbology, even though he, Harry and Hermione were working together on the same Puffapod. I decided to work with Neville instead.
We had Transfiguration next. I set next to Emilia Greenberg, a nice Ravenclaw girl. And even though I really tried not to, I kept looking over at Harry, Ron and Hermione. I hadn't talked to any of them since I came back from the village with Fred yesterday. And I can't help but feel a little bruised because they haven't even tried to talk to me.
When class was over McGonagall stopped us from leaving, "One moment, please!" she called, "As most of you're in my house, you should hand Hogsmeade permission forms to me before Halloween. No form, no visiting the village, so don't forget!"
I looked over at Harry again, Ron was pushing him to ask McGonagall, just like yesterday. I didn't want to stay and watch the rest of the exchange so I packed my books and left without a word. Besides, I already knew what she was going to say.
I'm on my way to lunch now. On my own. I get to the great hall and look around. Fred and George are not here so I don't really have anyone to sit with. I consider going to sit with Lavender and Padma but then I notice Billie and his friends at the Hufflepuff table and decide to take my chances with them.
The first person to notice me approaching is Jamie. He sands me a warm smile and I already feel like I made the right choice by coming over. The rest of them turn to look at what Jamie is looking at and grin at me as well.
"Hey, stranger." Says Billie, looking up at me.
"Hi," I wave my hand awkwardly. "Is it alright if I sit with you guys?"
They all answer with sures and of courses. Billie shuffles aside to make space for me to sit.
"We were just talking about the first quidditch game of the year." Kathy informs me.
"Gryffindor vs. Slytherin." Says Jamie, grinning. "We're going to crash them." Jamie is a Gryffindor like me and Billie, he's not on the quidditch team, but I assume he's a big supporter.
"I'm glad you're so sure of our team." I smile at Jamie, "When is it, anyway?"
"Three weeks from today." Says Kathy, "After that we are playing Ravenclaw. And then we'll take you out too." She points her knife at Jamie, he laughs. Kathy is a Hufflepuff, she plays for their quidditch team.
"You're a Chaser, right?" I ask and Kathy nods.
"Best one in our year." Says Laura.
"I don't know Lore, I hear Katie Bell is getting quite good." Billie teases.
"And anyway, you don't have a chance at beating us. Not with Harry as our undefeated Seeker." Jamie says.
They all glance briefly at me. I pretend not to notice.
"Well, we've got Cedric, and he's a really good Seeker, too." Says Kathy, "Don't you worry about us."
"Speaking of Cedric." I say lowly, nodding my head towards him. He is making his way through the hall and it looks like he's headed our way.
Kathy turns her head to look for him and I catch the lightest shade of pink coating her cheeks.
He gets to our table and stops right above Kathy and Laura. "Hey, mind if I join you guys?" he says with a smile.
Laura nods eagerly, glancing at her friend for her reaction but Kathy can barely speak.
He sits between the two girls, "I just came back from a meeting with Madam Hooch. She's cutting our time on the pitch until the game. You know, to give more time for Gryffindor and Slytherin to practice." He tells Kathy.
I watch as Kathy regains her composure and processes what he just said. Her face falls but then the confidence from a few moments ago shows up on it again. "That's alright. They need all the practice they can get if they don't want us to crush them completely." She says sassily, shooting a smug look in Jamie's direction.
He gives her the middle finger.
Sitting here looking at these people, at their interaction, it all feels easy. And even tho I haven't talked much since I set down it feels like I could be a part of this group, like I belong here. At least more than I ever belonged with Harry and his friends. I like these people and I think they like me back and I'm not going to push them away or hide behind the excuse of having a famous brother. I'm going to let them in.