“Imagine if we added–” George whispered.
“-oh, I know. It would be brilliant–” Fred interrupted.
“-yes, I’ll write it down–”
“Don’t forget–”
“I know, I know. Shush–”
“I am being quiet!”
“Shh. Or else she’ll find–”
“Oh,” Hermione said, tapping her foot in irritation, “she’s already found out.”
The Weasley twins sat up in surprise, nearly bumping heads for how close they were sitting in a dark corner of the common room. Trying to be secretive, no doubt. Well, too bad for them. Hermione Granger could sniff out mischief from a mile away.
She held out a hand. “Hand it over.”
“No!” Fred cried, clutching the parchment to his chest.
She raised a brow.
George leaned back in his chair. “Don’t worry yourself, love. It’s nothing that will interest you.”
“Oh, I think I find it very interesting, actually,” Hermione said. “Especially because it is only the first week of term and you’re already making plans. Plans that I know are meant to be tested on the first years. Which I expressly forbade you to do.”
“We wouldn’t dare–” Fred began.
“-go against your orders,” George finished.
Hermione narrowed her eyes. “Oh, really? Then hand it over. Prove it.”
“No!” The twins yelped.
George shrugged casually. “Only because it’s private. Not because we’re afraid you’ll use your prefect-ness to give us detention or anything.”
“It’s private,” she scoffed. “As if. The two of you don’t know the meaning of the word.”
George grinned. “I beg to differ, love.”
Fred smacked his shoulder. “What he means,” he shot his brother a glare, “is that we understand your concern, but wish to soothe your worries. This has nothing to do with a prank. It is simply a plan for our blossoming future.”
“Uh-huh,” Hermione raised a brow. She didn’t believe a word out of their mouths. The prank part really didn’t bother her. She was inclined to turn a blind eye to most of their shenanigans simply because they were entertaining. But where she drew the line was at eleven-year-olds. Those poor children did not deserve this, especially when the Weasley’s ‘tests’ often involved throwing up or breaking out in a rash or worse.
She held out a hand again.
Fred sighed.
George smirked. “Well, come and take it then.”
Hermione, not one to back down from a fight, lunged forward over George in an attempt to snatch the note out of Fred’s hands. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the most athletic witch; she missed, and her faulty landing left her draped over George’s lap, bottom’s up. He howled in laughter and wrapped his arms around her torso in an attempt to keep her in place, but Hermione continued reaching for the paper. Fred grinned and held it high above her head.
“Don’t let go of her, Georgie.”
“Not to worry, Freddie-boy. I’ve got her tight.”
Hermione wriggled around but simply could not get out of the boy's clutches, much less reach the paper. She finally sighed in defeat and stilled. Bloody quidditch players and their rippling muscles.
“Oh, alright. You’ve got me,” she groaned.
“I sure do,” George agreed.
“You can let me go now,” she tried.
“Absolutely not.” George chuckled. “Why on earth would I let you leave when you’re being so pleasant? I simply adore the feeling of your curls up my nose.”
She huffed. “Well, if you’re not going to let me go, and you’re not going to give me the paper, will you tell me what it is? I promise not to take off any points. At least until I’ve heard you out.”
Beside her, or as well as she could tell with her face pointed at the floor, Fred straightened. He clapped his hands. “Brilliant. We could use your input, you know.”
Hermione elbowed George in the ribs. “Let me flip over, will you?”
He allowed this but kept her locked in place. When she leveled a glare at his chin, he simply shook his head. “No freedom until you hear us out and promise not to ruin it all.”
Hermione sighed. Then she wasn’t getting out anytime soon. “Go on, then,” she said to Fred.
Fred complied eagerly. He shook out the wrinkled paper with a flourish. “So, you see, during our time at Hogwarts, George and I have spent a great portion of our time dedicated to wreaking havoc on the school, as well as all of its occupants.”
“Understatement,” Hermione muttered. George pinched her side.
“And,” Fred continued, “while that was all fun and good, we’ve realized that occasionally, it is a waste of our time. We are quite intelligent creatures, and while mischief is our middle names, collectively, we wondered what would happen if we truly put our heads together–”
“Like in the womb,” George added.
“That’s not even how it works,” Hermione groaned.
“-and started planning bigger things. Greater things. More magnificent things.” Fred wagged his eyebrows.
Hermione, flat on her back across George’s knees with her legs dangling, found the angle in which she observed Fred’s facial expressions quite comical. She bit down a giggle and nodded seriously. “Fascinating.”
“We certainly think so,” George agreed. He took up the story. “Anyway, after we wondered about this, we had a realization. We wouldn’t be able to keep pranking the school forever. Eventually, we would graduate or be expelled or something, and would find ourselves in the big wide world with no purpose.”
“No presence,” Fred added.
“No passion.” George concluded.
Hermione snorted. “How terrible.”
George nodded, then tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “As such, we realized that we could transform the energy that we have up until now been offering for free–”
“Like it’s a gift…” Hermione rolled her eyes.
George ignored her. “And turn it into a business. A proper one. So, on this sheet–where I assure you, you will find no mention of underage test subjects–we have begun listing possible assets and categories for products. Freddie. Give it here.”
Fred handed over the sheet of parchment to George’s outstretched hand. Still keeping her trapped with his other arm–although she really had no interest in escaping, she was now far too curious–he held the page above her face so that she could read.
And read she did.
Hermione’s eyes flickered back and forth over the page, and with every word her eyebrows raised. By the end of it, she was honestly impressed. She blinked. “Wait…so you guys want to open a business? Like…like Zonko’s? For…selling pranks?”
“Not like Zonko’s,” Fred shook his head.
“Better.” George nodded. “Much better. More products, better prices, more efficient assembly and pitching.”
“A lab above the shop, so that we don’t waste travel time or funding just to test products–”
“And different categories for age levels to ensure the safety of younger kids, and also to protect us from possible lawsuits–”
“What did you say?” Hermione sat up. Or, she tried to at least, but George’s arms were back around her waist. Fred had taken back the parchment.
“Hmm?” Fred murmured.
“What did you just say?”
George laughed. “Oi, Freddie! We’ve won her over. We’ve done it.”
Hermione wriggled. “Tell me you didn’t just say you were trying to ‘ensure the safety of younger kids’.”
“And protect ourselves from lawsuits-”
“Yes, yes,” she rolled her eyes. “Whatever. That too. But are you serious? You’re…actually putting down real plans to keep children safe?”
Fred laughed. “Yeah, Mi. You’ve finally gotten to us. We’ve listened.”
George looked down at her, eyes sparkling. “We told you that you’d want to listen.”
Hermione blinked. Her brain was running through everything she’d read. The plan was clever, so clever. As long as they found a location that would gather a lot of foot traffic and had enough space, it could be done. And with their personalities, the marketing would be a piece of cake, and within a few years, they could be bloody rich. She really believed they could do it. Warmth bloomed in her chest–this was a wonderful way for them to spend their time. Much better than flooding the corridors for no reason. Merlin help her–she was proud.
“Well,” George asked, still looking down at her, “what do you think?”
Fred scooted forward in his chair expectantly.
And Hermione laughed. “Boys, I think it’s brilliant.”
George released her, and the twins high-fived. Hermione rolled out of George’s lap and begged Godric Gryffindor himself that she wouldn’t regret this. The boys tackled her in a hug, and talked her ear off for the rest of the night, bouncing around ideas and drawing out sketches for various items. Crazy as it was, she welcomed the distraction. The Weasley twins had a way of lifting her spirits even on her worst days, and she really was excited for them.
Hermione was looking forward to being able to brag that she was close friends with the richest wizards in England.