“‘Mione, something is clearly wrong,” Fred hissed. The twins had attacked her in the hallway and shoved her into a broom cupboard. Hermione wasn’t even surprised. How did this keep happening to her?
“Agreed,” George nodded, “and we are here to get to the bottom of it. Just because our stupid brother doesn’t notice, that doesn’t mean we’re quite so dense.”
“So spill.”
“Now.”
“Or else–”
“Or else what?” Hermione interrupted wearily.
The twins exchanged a glance. “Hermione, you skipped Ancient Runes.”
“And you love Ancient Runes.”
“So?”
“So…” George frowned, “something is horribly wrong. Or else you aren’t really Hermione Granger, because she was absolutely horrified just by being a few minutes tardy last year.”
Fred nodded solemnly. She glanced between them. Well, hell. They actually were concerned. She should run and tell the others–no one really believed the twins cared for anything but their pranks. Hermione tried to shake off their grips on her shoulders. “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit.”
“Bollocks.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why do you care? You’re leaving any day now right?”
Another silent exchange between twins, then George clicked his tongue. “Clever–I’ll admit we didn’t realize you knew, but–”
“-you aren’t getting out of this conversation,” Fred finished.
Hermione sighed. “Gods, what do you want me to say? That I’m depressed as hell?”
They blinked. Ten points to Hermione–rendering the twins speechless was an honor. Apparently, they hadn’t been expecting the blatant honesty.
“You…what?”
She shrugged. It was the truth.
“But…why?”
She shrugged again. “Teenage angst? Can I go now?”
They released her with identical frowns. Without a word, Hermione shoved her way out of the broom cupboard, pushing past a confused pair of third years. The boys wouldn’t let the topic drop completely, she was sure they’d bring it up again sooner rather than later, but for now she was free. Thank Merlin. Hermione trudged down the stairs to the library. She was late.
In hindsight, she should’ve known the twins never gave up on anything that easy.
That night, as she was calmly trudging her way back to the dorms, she was jumped. Like full-on body-checked in the hallway, tossed into the air, and thrown over a shoulder. She didn’t even have to ask, and quite frankly was so exhausted with life in general that she merely sighed.
“Really George?”
“Oi! I’m here too,” Fred snapped from her left.
“And Fred,” she amended.
The slighted twin hummed in satisfaction. As she was currently folded over George’s back, she really didn’t have a view of anything but the corridor behind them, so she simply crossed her arms and waited. It would be useless to try and escape, and she didn’t have the energy to wrestle. She’d just have to be patient.
“Where are you taking me?”
“Don’t be rude–”
“And ruin our fun.”
Hermione blew a curl out of her face and frowned. “Twins,” she muttered.
George tightened his grip on her legs and upped the pace. If she wasn’t so tired, she might appreciate the show of athleticism. Alas, depression. She didn’t really have it in her to care at the moment. She closed her eyes.
This lack of argument seemed to alarm the twins because they began walking even faster.
“Hurry up, Georgie.”
“I’m moving faster than you, idiot.”
“Nuh-uh. Look at me. I’m ahead now.”
“Sto–stop it! You’re not carrying a dead weight!”
“You could always put me down,” Hermione helpfully suggested.
“No!” They both shouted.
Well. It had been worth a shot. She blew another curl out of her face. Seriously, this angle was the worst. She had way too much hair tickling her nose. Merlin, what time was it? Surely, she should be doing something productive, right?
On second thought, that sounded terrible. This…yeah, this was fine. The homework could wait.
Hermione glanced at the floor and realized they were going down the stairs. Hmm. To the kitchens? She knew the twins snuck off for extra snacks sometimes. The house elves seemed to love them. But no, they made a wrong turn. Then where…
Ah. The courtyard.
Sure enough, the boys’ steps clacked on the stone as they passed through the archway and marched into the empty courtyard. She had completely lost track of time this evening, so she wasn’t certain where all of the other students were. Possibly studying in the library and various common rooms. Or maybe she was completely off and was missing dinner. Oh, well. She wasn’t hungry anyway.
George abruptly pulled her forward and set her gently on her feet. He had a goofy grin on his face, one that his twin was sporting as well.
Finally, Hermione’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on?”
“Sit,” Fred pointed to the stone bench behind her.
“Now,” George added.
Hermione shrugged and sat.
The twins blinked at her continued lack of argument. George seemed to shake it off first. “Alright, love. You have obviously been out of sorts lately, and Fred and I have determined this to be for lack of our particular brand of amusement.”
“Therefore,” Fred said with a wave of his wand, “we have prepared a show for you, and only you.”
“To remind you that we adore you.”
“And we implore you–”
“To give us a smile–”
“It’s been such a while–”
“So please sit back–”
“Observe our knack–”
“For making noise–”
“We are your boys!” Fred finished proudly.
Hermione raised a brow. “Surely you have better rhymes than that.”
Fred scowled, but George grinned wickedly. “Cue the music, Freddie.”
As commanded, Fred flicked his wrist. To Hermione’s surprise, a small gramophone appeared on the stone, and at once, a song began to play. The intro was a lovely bit of piano, but Hermione really couldn’t see–
The twins began to dance. And she was so startled she could only gape. They raised their arms, swayed their hips, and twirled around each other. Hermione’s mouth dropped open in horror. “Oh my god…”
Then the lyrics began.
Fred held his wand up to his lips like a microphone and belted, “Each morning I get up I die a little…”
“Can’t barely stand on my feeeeet,” George sang.
“Take a look into the mirror and cry,”
“Yeah, yeahhhh,” somehow, George hit this in the highest falsetto Hermione had ever encountered. She buried her face in her hands. Gods. This was mortifying. She prayed to Merlin no one came out here. Please.
Unfortunately, they were not finished. The next few lines were muffled due to her hands over her face. Who knew that Queen was destined to become her mortal enemy? Bloody hell, she’d liked this song!
George pranced around her bench. “But I just can’t get no relief, Lord…”
“Somebody.”
“Somebody!”
“Somebody.”
“Somebod–”
“Can anybody find meeeeeeeeeeeeee,” Fred wailed.
“SOMEBODY TO LOOOOOOVE,” George screamed, voice amplified in the stone courtyard.
And gods, she tried. She really, really tried, but she couldn’t fight human nature. It was simply an inescapable and inevitable response, something that even the strongest suppressors of emotion could never fight and win.
She laughed.
And it only seemed to give the twins more fuel. Their movements became even more ridiculous, and they began to take more liberties flouncing about her. Tugging her hair, dodging in to kiss her cheek, flicking her shoulder–until she was squirming and practically crying in laughter. Godric, they were the worst. She couldn’t stand them. But when George hit the high note in the second chorus, reaching out a hand to her, she couldn’t help but take it.
He pulled her to her feet and twirled her around, passing her to Fred and then back again, all while never breaking from their lines. With another snort, Hermione realized that they must have rehearsed it, and that surely there was someone in Gryffindor House that had been forced to listen to it the first time. Gods, it was the funniest thing she’d thought of in ages. She shrieked as George dipped her so low she almost hit the floor but expertly swung her back to him. As she looked up at him, George smiled.
It wasn’t his I’m-about-to-cause-trouble smile, nor was it his smugly arrogant grin. It wasn’t the smirk he flashed his sister when she said something especially vile, or the one he used to suck up to Molly. No, this one was just for her. Just a sweet smile that told her he really had been worried about her and was willing to go to ridiculous lengths to make her laugh. When she glanced at Fred, he too was beaming at her.
Too soon, the song came to an end, after an impressive air guitar solo by Fred, she might add, and the three of them fought to catch their breaths. In that moment, she was so, so thankful for these silly boys. Especially George, though. She had a feeling it had all been his idea.
They looked at her expectantly.
Hermione grinned and offered them a round of applause. “Truly a dazzling show, boys.”
The twins high-fived and whooped in unison, and Hermione laughed again. She’d probably feel badly again tomorrow. After all, nothing in her life had truly changed. But it was nice to laugh now, and she had a feeling that the twins would do what they could to make this happen again. She kind of loved them for it.
Glancing between them, she said seriously, “Thank you.”
They each linked an arm through hers and tugged her back inside the castle. “Anytime, Hermione,” George said. “Anytime.”