Chapter 31; April 13th, 1975
Sirius is alone in the dorm. He’s working on homework, trying to make up for all the classes he missed. He still isn't really going to lessons, but James is getting him all the work and helping as much as he can.
Sirius looked up as the door opened, immediately looking away when he realized it was Remus. They haven’t spoken since the breakup, at all. Sirius hasn’t been to any of the moons and Remus is barely ever in the dorm.
Something was up though. The way Remus was standing by his bed, looking at the ground. He wanted to say something, that much was clear. He wanted something. A favor.
They stayed quiet for a while, the only sound was the record player and the scratching of Sirius’s quill.
Sirius knew he wanted something, and he wanted to tell him that he’d do literally anything he asked without a second thought, but he can’t just say that, at least he can't let himself.
After another little while, Remus finally spoke up. He was quiet, nervous. “You can say no..”
Sirius practically fell apart just by hearing his voice, but he wasn't about to let that show. “To what?”
Remus scratched at a scab on his arm. The moons started getting bad again.
“Can you go tonight?” Remus mumbled, still not looking at Sirius.
As soon as he asked, Sirius felt his stomach drop. He forgot. He’s never forgotten before, and this time he did.
But Remus didn't really even have to ask. Of course Sirius would go, as long as he was wanted there.
“Yeah.” He said, acting like he wasn't all excited inside.
~~~
Sirius walked with James and Peter down to the shack, just like they used to, the only difference is the nerves running through Sirius.
That all faded away once they were in the room though. As soon as the door was closed Remus had his arms wrapped around Sirius, holding him tightly. Sirius hugged back. He hasn't felt so comfortable, so safe, in months. He missed him. A lot.
They stayed like that for a while, silently holding each other, only letting go when the first ripple ran through Remus’s back.
Sirius backed up and turned into pads, getting used to the senses again and curling up in the corner, like he always did.
Not much happened that night, mainly pads and moony laying together. The wolf missed him, meaning Remus did too. He didn't know if knowing he missed him made it hurt more or less.
Sirius stayed, even after he changed back. He stayed as pads, laying on Remus’s chest, soaking up the comfort while he had it. James and Peter already left.
Remus was petting him softly, almost subconsciously, but he hesitates for a second before petting him again. Sirius didn't move. He couldn't let himself. He couldn't lose this. Not yet.
Sirius changed back, he didn’t really think about it, something was just telling him to, so he did, fully expecting Remus to push him away, but he didn't, instead he held him closer, playing with his hair.
They still weren't saying anything. Sirius changed back when he heard Pomfrey coming into the room. She’ll think he’s just a stray and not question it.
~~~
They're in the hospital wing now, laying together, still not saying anything. Sirius wasn't going to be the first one to say something.
Being this close to him hurt, but it felt so right.
He doesnt think either of them are planning on saying anything. They're enjoying whatever this is for a bit, and it’ll all go back to normal after. As normal as it can be with them being broken up at least.
Sirius doesn’t want to seem desperate.
But he is.
They stayed like that for a while, not talking. Just laying with each other, holding everything in, like they used to, before they were together, before they were them.
“Alright, Black. Up you get.” Pomfrey said, walking around the side of the curtains. Remus’s arms immediately tightened around Sirius. Sirius didn’t move. Or answer. He couldn’t leave yet. He couldn't lose him again.