Everybody knows that James Potter is head over heels in love with Lily Evans. Still, it was oh-so-easy to fall in love with James Potter. It was easy to love James Potter as it was easy to breathe; in fact, one look was all you needed.
Regulus thought he would hate him, and forced himself to do so a few times, he deserved his hate he thought, he stole my brother he reminded himself. He doesn't even know when he fell for him. In reality, Regulus knows, deep inside, that he fell for the golden boy, not the first look, but the first glance.
He was always carrying a smile, and he was nice to everyone, he talked, but he also knew how to listen, and he was good at school but didn't brag. He was good at everything, and how was it possible that Lily didn't want him?
So, Regulus watched James just like everybody else. He watched how his eyes would brighten up as soon as Lily entered a room, how they would follow her every step. She got him mesmerized, like in a spell. It was just as beautiful as it was painful. So he hated Lily: for being a mudblud, for having green dazzling eyes, for having, sparkly red hair, for being good at school, for having a warm laugh, for being with him, for having his unwanted attention. He hated Lily because he wasn't her.
Sirius left him for good to be with James. He ran away and found a new brother and a new family. He couldn't blame him, Regulus would also leave all behind for James if given the chance. Yet, it was in that year, that lonely year, that he had James' attention.
It came in the form of a drunken James, happy, and thrilled, and joyous and clumsy.
“What are you doing here?”
“Oh, Regulus, Hi!”
“James.” He said. James was looking at him, it had happened before, but it may as well be the very first time he looked at him anyway. “What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for a broom.”
“A broom?” He asked what was happening here and where were his friends, why no one was making sure James didn't harm himself in his drunken state.
“Yeah! You should come too. You fly really good.”
And with those words, James turned Regulus into a mess, into a pup that will follow him and do as he pleases. If James wanted to fly, he would go flying. Maybe that is why and how James is here: somehow if James says something, anything, it sounds like a good idea. So, Regulus was now in the broom closet with James, stuck with giggles and long, strong limbs, and wood, and glances that he never thought he would have.
“I don't feel like flying anymore” James mumbled, and Regulus sighed in relief… he didn't want to be accountable if something happened.
“That's okay.”
Silence happened and it was strange. Regulus was accustomed to the silence, he even liked it and preferred it to the constant extreme noise that happened at the Gryffindor table, but James wasn't silence, so it was weird.
“I should kiss you.”
Regulus must be dreaming because in no world would James ever say those words to him.
“Pardon?” And James had the audacity to giggle.
“Oh, please, I have kissed all of my friends.”
“I am not your friend.”
“You are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
There was silence again, and Regulus didn't know what was happening. James was looking to the ground, his brows furrowing in thought, and when he looked at him with his eyes brightening as if he found the answer to the problem.
“It is my birthday, so you have to do as I say.” And again, Regulus felt himself thinking of that for a moment, he licked his lips in thought because now that was a good argument, and maybe he could give himself this treat. He could indulge just this once. War was coming, he would be just another pawn to the Dark Lord, he knew James would never look at him like that again, as if he was his answer.
“Okay.” He said, and really it was barely a whisper, but somehow James must’ve caught it because he smiled. A grin with all teeth and light and James was kissing him, and it was sweet, it was slow. Regulus felt his heart explode, how his whole body turned into fire and James threw a match at him. He was burning and he loved it. James separated from him and was still smiling at him, looking at him and staring as if he had the answer to his every question as if he was the answer to his existence. Regulus knew that he wasn't his answer, but he knew for a fact that James was his.
“Goodbye James.”
Lily must’ve finally seen in James what everybody saw because they were giggling and holding hands through the hallways. James was free to be and have all that his heart desired, Regulus knew that, still, why would James ever kiss him? Did he want him? Even for just a second? It was okay, really, it was bloody brilliant if you asked him. He was soon to have the mark and it is an honor. It was one thing that he wanted and that he actually could get. And yet, when Regulus glanced back and saw them getting far and far away, he could see how James was leaving with his heart in hand.
Regulus wanted to scream for Kreacher to come back. He was alone, and his limbs were trembling from the curse. He tried to get his wand, he screamed and waved it, howling spell after spell trying to get the inferi to back down. They were thousands and thousands, and they just kept coming, crawling from the river and getting closer to him; suddenly, he thought, that he would’ve preferred to be truly alone. Regulus shrieked when he felt the cold and dripping fingers of one of them latch into his robe.
“Confringo!” He cried and felt how more slippery hands grabbed him from the back. He saw how his wand slipped from his fingers and drowned in the mass of grey that were the bodies of the inferi. Regulus was going to die.
The inferi grabbed at him, dragging him piece by piece until he felt his clothes wet with the river. They were dragging him to his home, Regulus squeals and wails did nothing to help him, he felt the inferi tearing his clothes and then his skin. He shouted but only engulfed water and suddenly they were underwater. He wailed and tried to move his arms and kick his legs, he tried to swim and shake the inferi off of him, but they were too much.
Regulus cried for his mother as he felt his lungs turn into fire, he felt how his throat was being stabbed with every gulp of water, and yet he kept screaming. He called for his mother in hate and with the hope that pronouncing her name would make her appear. Then, Regulus cried for his big brother, who always managed to rescue him, for his brother who wouldn't save him this time. He wished Sirius would come to him at the sounds of his screeches just as many times before, so Regulus screamed harder and drank more water if that was what it took to be rescued.
Finally, in his very last moments, he indulges himself the same way as a couple of years before. He cried for James, wanting to see him just one more time, wanting to feel his warms one last time. He didn't care if it was all experimental, or a joke, or if it was nothing to James, but Regulus wanted to see him again. So, in the middle of the pain and the burning and everything, he settled himself to conjure in his mind the picture of James. James with a big, bright smile. James, who proved to him that lips were made for more than lies and hurt, that magic was there for more than to bruise. James, who without knowing, taught him what was right.
Yet, Regulus black died, drowning and feeling his body ripped apart by the inferi until there was no body left.
Regulus died alone in a cave that became his grave.