four
{Kit’s POV}
|September 2, 1995|
I have a free hour before dinner, so I go to the library. For the past few years, my friends and I have more or less claimed one of the tables in the corner of the upper level. When any of us are studying, that’s the table we go to so the others can find us more easily.
I put my bag down and start browsing the nearby shelves. I’ve already read tons of the books in the library, but you never know when the catalogs will be updated. I end up grabbing a book on wand cores I haven’t seen before.
I sit down and pull out some scraps of parchment, ink, and my quill. I open the book and begin reading. However, I only get through the introduction before I am pulled out of my head.
“Kit?” My head whips around.
I sigh in slight relief. “Draco. You scared me.”
He smiles. “Sorry. I’ve been standing here for a minute or so. I didn’t really want to disrupt you.”
“It’s fine. Come, sit.” I wave at the seat across from me.” He puts his bag on the table and sits down.
“What’re you reading?” he asks.
I show him the cover. “Wand cores. I’ve never seen this book. Must be new.”
He nods in approval. “That’s nice. Is it interesting?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’ve only gotten through the intro,” I explain. He makes an ‘oh’ sound. “I have plenty of free time after Herbology tomorrow. I’ll probably read a bunch then.”
Draco looks slightly concerned. “Will someone be with you to keep track of the time?” I roll my eyes. “Seriously. I can keep you company and make sure you get to lunch on time.”
Holy shit. “Yeah. Sure. That would be appreciated.”
“Cool.” And then I do something I did not fully think through.
“How was your summer?”
He looks at me with confusion. “Haven’t I already told you? It was boring. The same countries we always visit.”
“I know that part. But how was it really?” I press.
He takes a second. “Long, exhausting, borderline depressing. I missed this god-awful school so much. I missed all my friends way too much. I missed you.”
Oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods. “I missed you too.”
“That house is way too big.” He puts his head in his hands. “It’s so big. Only three of us live there. And recently it’s only really been me and my mother. My father has been spending near-days at the Ministry. He’s trying to convince them that he isn’t loyal to You-Know-Who anymore. But of course that’s a lie. It’s a shitty lie that everyone is believing. I can’t understand them. He is obviously still in leagues with him. Why can’t the Ministry see that? It’s like they’re all blind. They don’t even have the guts to use veritaserum on him. It isn’t like they don’t have any on hand! It’s easy to make when you have the money to make it.” His hands are shaking slightly. His voice had gotten steadily louder and now the librarian was shushing us from her desk.
Draco lets his head drop on the table. “I’m not even supposed to be talking about this. I was specifically told to shut up about my father’s standing with You-Know-Who and the Ministry. He’s gonna fucking kill me.”
I’m confused. “How is he going to find out you told me?”
Draco looks at me. His grey eyes are full of pure agony. He repeats himself. “Veritaserum is easy to make when you have the money to make it.”
My eyes widen in realization. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah,” he agrees.
“Well, you’ve already started, so why not just go for it? I’ll listen to whatever you want to get off your chest.” I smile at him fondly.
He looks really uneasy and sort of timid. He bites his finger lightly. It’s a habit he picked up a few years ago. “I don’t know, Kit…”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to share anything with me. I just want you to know that I will listen to you. And if something is meant to be confidential, I will keep it confidential.”
“You promise?” He looks incredibly unsure. Which, I mean, fair enough.
“Yes,” I say quickly.
He takes a second to think it over. “Fine.”
My heart settles. “Good. Anytime you need to rant about something, just tell me.”
“Alright, Ollivander. I get it. I will.” He laughs, all the negative emotions leaving his face.
A minute of us just staring at each other passes before he speaks again.
“How was your summer? I mean, how was it really?”
“Not too bad. My mother was gone for all of July.” I don’t make eye contact. “We just goofed off for the whole month. It was really fun. And then I had that wood excursion with my grandfather for two weeks in August. So I didn’t really have to deal with her much. It was nice. But I obviously missed all my friends. Thea and I hung out when I got back from Grandpa’s.” I finally look at him. His eyes are observing me. I don’t see anything specific in them. It’s just… investigative.
He notices me looking at his staring. “That’s really good, Kit.” His voice seems to be genuine. But his eyes are drifting into the back of his thoughts, I can tell. I don’t press.
“Did you get a new owl? The one I saw earlier didn’t look like Ulysses.”
It takes him a second to adjust to the sudden topic change. “Oh, yeah. I did. My father claims that Ulysses was getting really old and slow so he got rid of him. My new one is Thyme. She’s 4 already.”
“I thought Ulysses was only a few years old?”
Draco’s eyes grow distant. “He was. He had at least three more years of healthy life left. I would know. I’m the one who took care of him. I would know if he was getting too old or sick or tired!” His voice is elavating again. “My dad only ever interacted with him when I first got him. He barely even remembered his name.”
I put my hand on top of Draco’s. He calms down his voice. “He was my owl. Not my father’s. He had no right to take him away from me.”
I rub his hand gently. “I’m so sorry that happened, Dray. It’s a really shitty thing to do to your kid.”
“At least he replaced him,” he adds, letting out a shaky laugh. It is painfully obvious to me that it hurts a lot more than he’s letting on. “And Thyme is great. She’s awesome. I love her and I’ve only had her for a month.”
I don’t move my hand off of his. He makes no effort to move his from under mine. We stay like that for a few minutes. Draco is taking breaths to stop himself from crying. Or from falling into further panic. I don’t know exactly.
At last, he lets out one more shaky breath. “Thank you for being here, Kit. You have no idea how much better I feel right now.”
In response, I get up and walk around the table to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a hug. I whisper softly. “I know.”
He reaches his hands up and holds onto my arms. Neither of us move for a few minutes. He pulls away first and turns around to face me.
“Could you help me find a book?”
My eyes brighten. “What kind of book?”
He does not hesitate. “Owls.”
I grab his arm and we spend the next half hour looking through all the books about birds the school has. When we leave the library and head to dinner, he has two thick books that are entirely about owls. His smile is gorgeous.
“Actually,” he says, stopping in his tracks. “Can we drop these off in my dorm? I’d rather they not be seen by untrustworthy people.”
Typical Draco Malfoy behavior. “Yeah, we can.” I turn in the opposite direction of the Great Hall. He thanks me as we walk.
When we reach the stone wall, Draco says the password and we begin the descent down the stairs. There are a couple people scattered around doing homework or reading or playing Wizard’s Chess. We pass by all of them without anyone saying anything to us.
I continue to follow Draco to his room and watch as he takes the two heavy books out of his bag and tosses them on his unmade bed haphazardly. Then we start walking back to the Great Hall. But this time, someone does stop us in the hallway.
“Hey! Are you related to Kole Ollivander?”
I look around. It’s a random first year. “I am, yes. I’m his older sibling. Why?”
“No reason. He just said that I should tell you that he says hi.”
“Thanks. You can tell him the same thing back, I suppose.” The kid runs away before I even finish my sentence. I look at Draco. “What the hell is going on today? I’m imagining this whole day, right? It’s a dream, right?”
He shakes his head sadly. “I’m afraid not.” And he grabs my robe sleeve and drags me up the stairs. “I’m hungry.”
“Sure. Let’s go to dinner then.”
Pansy and Blaise have our seats saved when we get to the Great Hall a few minutes later. They already started eating. I plop down next to Pansy and grab food. I take a big gulp of water.
“Today is really weird. I want it to end. I’m tired. I want to sleep,” I say to the vicinity. “I don’t think I’ll survive doing this all year, guys. I’m so done with this school already.”
“Noo!” Pansy says mockinlgy. “I need you, Kit! Don’t give up yet! You’re too young!” I grin at her.
“I don’t know, Pans. It’ll be tough.” She flicks my ear playfully.
Blaise blinks at us. It’s been four years, but he still doesn’t fully understand mine and Pansy’s dynamic. “You two are ridiculous,” he and Draco say at the same time.
They look at each other and the four of us fall into that kind of laughing fot where your back hurts and you’re crying and just looking at each other makes it start up again.
The people around us are most definitely annoyed beyond belief. Do any of us care right now? Nope. Will some of us probably care later (*cough* Draco *cough*)? Yes. Definitely. Will I care later? No.
The laughing fit luckily calms down after a few painful minutes and we continue eating our dinners. The rest of the time we indulge in random conversations about the events of the day.