Harmful Resolutions and Pity Parties

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
M/M
G
Harmful Resolutions and Pity Parties
Summary
Because at the end of the day, all of them wanted to be better, smarter, or more accomplished. And they would spend half of their lives consumed by the trivial need to do so, be so. And the other half wishing they'd have the time back from when they were objectively much better off.
Note
This was the last thing i remember writing, relating to this fandom in the past 2 years and i haven't been able to write since, the last breath i took and what a mighty small volume of air was pushed into my lungs.

Sometimes Remus wished he was shorter, in the way that his legs didn't take up all that space when he sat down, or in the way that his clothes never fit perfectly like they did Sirius.

Sometimes he wished his hair wasn't curly and short in an unruly way but fell clean and elegant like Sirius' hair.

Sometimes Sirius wished he wasn't so short, especially times when he didn't quite measure up to his father's height. The way it made him feel small and incompetent standing next to him. Childish and Immature.

He wished his hair wasn't so stiff in the way it fell but instead more natural, the way Remus' hair looked perfect without having to try, the curls tumbling over his eyes effortlessly.

James wished he was calmer when it came to how he moved. Wished he could hide the way he would get excited about something and spoke too loudly when it happened. Or the way his body moved carelessly, obnoxiously and how people disliked it when he did that.

He couldn't seem to stop himself at the moment, always leaving happy moments with a bitter aftertaste.

Peter wished he wasn't so quiet all the time, the way people would walk over him and assume the marauders were only friends with him because he shared a dorm with them.

Often wondering if maybe that was the actual reason he was mates with them.

Lily wished she wasn't so stubborn in the way she often discounted other people's opinions by talking over them or infantilizing them when she thought she was right.

Wishing she didn't get angry so quickly and hurt people because of it.

Marlene wished she was more than just how 'pretty' people thought she was, she wished she had something else that made her worthy, not just genes she was born with, she wished she was intelligent or funny or even just good at one other thing that she'd actually managed to achieve herself.

Regulus wished he was more interesting the way Sirius or James were, the way everyone stopped and listened to their stories when they spoke, but only listened to his because he was standing beside them.

He wished he was kinder to people and not so swift in disregarding them, even just giving them a chance, letting them in.

Because at the end of the day, all of them wanted to be better, smarter, or more accomplished. And they would spend half of their lives consumed by the trivial need to do so, be so. And the other half wishing they'd have the time back from when they were objectively much better off.

But alas such is the way of life, cruel enough to put us out of our misery only when we're 6 feet under. Luckily for them, it was quicker than they'd thought.