Surprise!
Hermione stared at the boy, eyes wide. 'What?'
'I'm pregnant,' Harry repeated and looked down. 'Madam Pomfrey told me.'
'But... but how?'
'Do I need to explain the birds and bees to you?'
Hermione frowned. 'I know how people get pregnant, Harry James Potter, and I know that wizards can too!' she fumed. 'Now is not the time for jokes!'
'Who's joking?' Harry demanded angrily. 'I just found out I'm about to be a fucking...' he trailed off, frowning. 'Am I a mum or dad?'
'You're called the carrier, or bearer,' Hermione said. 'But you can have your child call you what ever you want.'
Harry's right hand dropped to rub at his flat stomach. 'Dad,' he muttered. 'I'll be Dad.'
'Harry, you're serious?' Hermione demanded. When the wizard nodded, she swore loudly.
'Did you just...?'
'I think now's a good time to swear, don't you?' Hermione asked. 'Damn it... how far along are you?'
Harry gulped. It happened... 'A month, about a month,' he said.
Hermione groaned and said, 'A month? You and Ginny have been engaged for three!'
'I know,' Harry said.
'How long have you been cheating on her?'
'It was only once,' Harry said. 'Honestly, Hermione, just one time,' he said when the witch looked at him sceptically.
Hermione sat on the edge of the bath and ran her hands through her tied back hair. It was coming loose and Hermione wasn't making it any better.
'I didn't know you liked men.'
'Neither did I,' Harry said honestly. 'But that Ministry party, the one on my birthday...'
Hermione groaned. 'You mean that one the Ministry forced you to go to? And Ginny refused?'
'Yeah,' Harry nodded and shifted on the floor. His arm was aching from leaning against the toilet and he slid back to sit against the wall.
'You slept with someone at the party?'
'Obviously,' Harry muttered.
'A male someone?'
'I know magic is amazing,' Harry said, 'but I'm pretty sure witches can't get people pregnant on their own.'
Hermione rubbed her eyes. 'Okay, so a male someone had sex with you and now you're pregnant.'
Harry nodded.
'Do you... know this person?'
Another nod.
'And this person was so fucking stupid they didn't use a simple charm?'
'He did,' Harry said. Hermione's eyes narrowed on him and Harry squirmed. 'We'd been... well, he'd already, um...'
'Harry, I'm nineteen,' Hermione said, 'and a woman. I can take whatever you tell me.'
'Fine,' Harry growled. 'He'd already entered me and we'd been fucking for about five minutes when he remembered the charm. I didn't even think about it, it was my first time having sex and... well, I was pretty caught up in it.'
Hermione nodded slowly and leaned her elbows on her knees, chin on her linked hands. 'Why'd you sleep with him?'
Harry noticed Hermione hand't asked who he'd slept with and thanked her for it. He didn't think he could handle sharing that bit of news.
'I just... I was pissed off, at everything,' Harry admitted. 'Everyone was on my back about the wedding, Ginny was being a prize bitch, and it was my birthday. I was so sick to death of the Ministry calling me in to parade about like some fucking hero or something.'
Hermione knew better then to point out that Harry was a hero; her friend hated it.
'I had a few drinks, just enough to loosen me up, I wasn't anywhere near drunk,' Harry continued. 'I started talking to... to...'
'The father,' Hermione offered.
'The father,' Harry agreed, 'and we both bitched about the Ministry, the war, we just... argued about a lot of stuff. It was fun though, getting it off our chests and teasing everyone. It wasn't until three hours later I realised we'd been flirting.'
Harry's cheeks darkened and despite the situation, Hermione smiled.
'We, um... he a-asked if I'd e-ever... um...'
'Had sex with a man?' Hermione said when it looked like words would once again fail the wizard.
'Yeah,' Harry mumbled. 'I told him of course not, I wasn't gay, I was engaged to a woman. He pointed out I'd been flirting with him and leering and... next thing he kissed me.'
'And?'
'And what?' Harry asked.
Hermione rolled her eyes. 'Did you like it?'
'Um... well yeah, it was great,' Harry said. 'Obviously, because then I slept with him in a goddamn broom closet.'
'Oh, Harry,' Hermione shook her head. 'Only you could get pregnant from a one night stand just a month before your wedding.'
'I don't want to get married,' Harry muttered.
Hermione looked him over carefully. She'd thought that Ginny and Mrs Weasley had been pushing Harry, that the green-eyed teen hadn't seemed too thrilled about getting married. It was the first time Harry himself had said so.
'Harry, have you and Ginny had sex?'
'No,' Harry said.
'Why?'
'I just... waiting,' Harry mumbled.
Hermione scoffed and her best friend looked at her. 'Harry,' she said kindly, 'you've kissed... what, two girls?' Harry nodded. 'And you were honourable enough to wait until after being married to have sex with Ginny. Yet you flirted with, kissed, and had sex with a man in a few hours.'
Harry turned red.
'Do you think that maybe you might be gay?'
Harry gaped at her. 'What?'
'It's accepted in the magic world,' Hermione told him. 'No one will look down on you for being gay.'
'But I... I like girls,' Harry tried.
'Harry,' Hermione said softly, 'you're currently hiding in the bathroom on your wedding day, throwing up because you're pregnant with another man's child.'
Harry sighed.
'Well?'
'The thought of sleeping with Ginny...' Harry said slowly, 'it just seems... terrifying.'
'Why?'
'Well... what would I do?' Harry asked. 'She's all... curvey and soft.'
'And men are slim and hard?'
Harry blushed again.
'Face it, Harry,' Hermione said, 'you're gay.'
Harry's head thumped against the wall. Anger, fear, annoyance and surprise were all rolling through him and threatening to tip over.
'Great,' he muttered, 'two surprise in one day; gay and pregnant.'
Hermione smiled and Harry looked at her.
'Why are you taking this so calmly?'
'What do you mean?' Hermione asked.
'I cheated on Ginny,' Harry said. 'Aren't you... mad?'
'Do you want the truth?' Hermione asked. When Harry nodded, she continued. 'I've always suspected that you were gay,' she said honestly. 'You never looked at girls, besides Cho and Ginny, and you never did much but kiss them. You didn't join in all the girl talks Ron and his brothers had, you prefered playing Quidditch. Then there was sixth year when you stalked Draco Malfoy.'
Harry's cheeks darkened even more.
'You've just never seemed completely happy and comfortable with Ginny,' Hermione said. 'Now I know why.'
'So you don't hate me?'
'You shouldn't have cheated on her,' Hermione said, 'but Molly and Ginny pushed you to get married, I think you're too young. You didn't have time to realise you were gay before a hot guy was taking you into a closet.' She smiled. 'He is hot, isn't he?'
Harry chuckled and let his eyes close. 'Mm, definitely,' he said. 'Gorgeous.'
'Okay,' Hermione nodded. 'So... what are we going to do about the wedding?'
Harry groaned.
'We can't stay in here forever.'
'They'll kill me.'
'No they won't'
'Ron will.'
'He'll try, I won't let him,' Hermione said. 'Fred and George will definitely side with you, they've always asked me if you were gay.'
'WHAT?'
Hermione smiled and stood. 'Come on, Harry. I'll be with you when you tell Ginny. If things get ugly, I'll apparate us. You can only side-apparate.'
'Why?'
'It's bad for the baby,' Hermione explained. 'Your magic is being used to make a womb for the baby and protect it. Apparting uses too much magic, so try and steer clear of using spells if you can,' she said. 'Side-apparating is safe because my magic's transporting you, not yours.'
Harry took the hand Hermione offered him and stood. He washed his face again and rinsed his mouth. He looked himself over; dark bags under his eyes, hair messier then usual, and clothes all over the place.
Yeah, he definitely looked like he wanted to get married.