the black dog

Flashback – 1st October 1976
James’ POV

James was in History of Magic, the only class where the Professor assigned their seat and desk partner. Since this was one of the subjects the Gryffindors had with Hufflepuff, he had ended up next to a girl named Amelia Bones. She was a nice girl who mostly kept to herself which suited James. His preferred way of spending this lesson was passing notes to his pen pal.

It was the perfect opportunity for him to do so without being caught. His desk was at the back of the room, away from the prying eyes of Peter and Sirius. The Professor had given this seating arrangement on the third lesson after a prank involving squid ink had ended badly. Honestly, a lot of their attempted pranks had gone wrong since Remus had left in March earlier that year. There was less heart put into the pranks and Sirius seemed less concerned about being caught.

The only time where Sirius took it seriously to not get caught was the nights of the full moon. The first full moon after Remus left the three of them had waited in the Shrieking Shack. Much for Sirius’ sake, who was convinced that Remus was going to return for his transformations.

But Remus didn’t return in April of that year. Or May. Or June.

And then it was the holidays and he and Sirius were back at Potter Manor for the full moons in July and August. And then they were back at school in September and when Remus didn’t return to school, James watched another light go out inside of his friend. And when the night of the full moon came, Sirius had gone to bed early and James and Peter followed. None of them had gone to the Shrieking Shack.

Or at least, that was what James had initially thought.

He had woken up in the middle of the night and saw that Sirius’ bed was empty. His first instinct was to check the bed that Remus was once occupied as it was common for Sirius to climb in there when he was missing Moony. He was there more often than not. The first few weeks after Remus left Sirius spent every night there in his emotionless state. James believed it was because the sheets still smelt faintly like Remus, and he was sure Padfoot’s nose was even more sensitive to it. But Sirius wasn’t in Remus’ bed the night of the full moon a month ago, and James knew that Padfoot was waiting in the Shrieking Shack for Moony.

Sirius had changed a lot since Remus left. He was still the same bubbly person on the outside but it was more forced. If anyone that knew Sirius looked him in the eyes they could see that he was the same yet so different. For example, while James was in the back of the History of Magic classroom passing magical notes to his pen pal, he could see the back of his best friend’s head as he slumped in his assigned seat at the front of the room.

Fuck. Remus leaving had hurt James but he still exchanged letters with him. Something he hid from Sirius to stop him from entering his dissociative state. Sirius had sent Remus letters and received no reply. The letters were all returned unopened as if the owl could not find Remus’ house.

James forced his eyes away from his best friend and back to the note he was writing.

merlin do all of your stories have to end in someone drowning??

He sent the note off, waiting patiently for the soft sound that announced that a response from his pen pal had arrived. And when that noise came, he folded open the parchment and read the elegant script of his pen pal, complete with capital letters and full stops as always.

A lot of tragic heroes drown.

His responded almost instantly.

really?

He waited several minutes for the letter and once it seemed that nothing was going to come he tried to pay attention to what was going on in the classroom. However, another minute passed and the whoosh sound broke his forced engagement with the material his professor was discussing.

Icarus, Helle, Aegeus, Leander, Vritomartis.

James hummed as he looked at the weird names that his pen pal had listed across the page in an elegant script. They had a deep fascination with muggle history, particularly Greek mythology. He hadn’t given much thought to the identity of the person he exchanged these notes with, yet, he was almost certain that they were either muggleborn or a halfblood. He couldn’t imagine a pureblood taking an interest in this topic.

He ultimately was hit with an idea, quickly writing four words across the page and sending them off.

give me a quote

The response time was about half a minute.

A quote?

James smiled to himself as he wrote his answer.

give me any quote that speaks to you right now

You assume I have a quote off the top of my head?

He swore that he could hear the sarcasm in the response. Suppressing a laugh, he wrote his response, emphasising his point with the punctuation he rarely used.

not assume. know.

The note that came from his pen pal was just as sarcastic as the last.

You know me that well? You don’t even know my name.

As much as that was true, James believed that he did know this person well. And he knew as if this person knew him better than anyone else. Possibly even Sirius. So, he wrote out his response, something that would be taken as a joke but he was still hoping would eventually happen.

are we going to exchange names now??

James had to clasp his hand over his mouth to suppress his laugh at the note he got back, disguising it with a cough as Amelia turned in her chair to look at him curiously.

“My name is Nobody.”

He picked up his quill and wrote out his response.

???

The response gave him clarification on the last message.

That’s your quote. It’s by Homer.

He wasn’t familiar with the name, wondering if it was something he had seen in the library. Yet, he was reminded of how Sirius believed that Bowie was a wizard and wrote down his note and sent it off.

that sounds like a wizards name

Flashback – 13th October 1976

James was once again in his History of Magic class when he took out his rock and placed it on his desk. Once he was certain his Professor wasn’t looking in his direction, he reached for his quill and wrote a single word on a piece of parchment.

quote?

It was several minutes before a whoosh noise alerted him that the parchment had arrived.

“A last request—grant it, please. Never bury my bones apart from yours, Achilles, let them lie together . . . just as we grew up together in your house.”

Before he could send another note there was another whoosh sound and he opened a second note from his pen pal.

It’s another quote from Homer. The one you think could be a wizard.

Flashback – 29th October 1976

It was the Friday before Halloween and James was hunched over a desk in the library, Lily sitting across from him with her head in a book when he sent another note off through the aid of his rock.

quote?

The response time was longer than usual. He pretended to be interested in reading a book as he tapped his foot anxiously and kept checking his pocket in case he had missed the sound of the note arriving. Once the sound did come, he jolted with an intensity that had Lily looking at him with a frown. Before he reached for the note he made sure that Lily was focused on the book again, only then opening it behind the safety of the book in front of him.

“The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend as to find a friend worth dying for.”

This might have had to be his favourite so far. It reminded James of him and Sirius, who he was certain he would die for. Instead of replying with that, he asked a question he was almost certain he already knew the answer to.

Homer?

He smiled at the response.

Of course.

Flashback – 1st December 1976

It felt like a routine now as he wrote out his response to the letter he had just received.

quote?

What he didn’t expect to receive was a page filled with more than ten lines of writing. As he began reading, he was certain that it was a poem of some type. But he paid more attention to the sections that his pen pal had underlined and circled with words written in the margins of the parchment around it. The words of the poem were written in the language of old times, as many of the quotes were, but it made more sense with every section that his pen pal had broken down and written his thoughts to. They had managed to turn the poem into something that made little sense into something that was beautiful.

It was a poem about the power of love and how it could transform a person that was lost and insecure. Or at least, that was what James had interpreted from his pen pal’s notes.

i feel special today with an entire poem. more homer?

The response was quick as if his pen pal had been anxiously waiting for James to reply.

Shakespeare. It’s Sonnet 29.

As it was another unusual name, James couldn’t help but write:

wizard?

He smiled at the note he received back.

Perhaps.

Present – 12th June 1983

James was in the apartment he shared with Sirius, searching for whether they had a sober-up potion for his friend. He knew that Sirius had taken advantage of the Quidditch victory party last night and used it as an opportunity to get himself so drunk that he was still affected the morning after.

James had to stop an intoxicated Sirius from walking out of The Black Dog with a man who was clearly taking advantage of him. Once he and his best friend were safely back inside, Sirius had cried into James’ shoulder and—just as James had promised—he was there for his friend. Robot Sirius was almost officially gone now, the numb replaced with a blubbering man who “craved love from somebody that didn’t want to give it to him.”

So, the morning following it was James’ self-appointed task to help his friend now that he had left his impassive state. James had spent much of last night holding back Sirius’ hair as he released the contents of his stomach into the bucket he had left beside his friend’s bed. Then, he climbed into Sirius’ bed and let the man curl up in his arms, continuously running his hand through the man’s hair in a comforting gesture. And, once Sirius was softly snoring in his embrace, James let his own tears fall from his eyes. Tears that—unlike Sirius’—were unaccompanied by loud sobs, but tears all the same.

He hadn’t got much sleep last night, his thoughts stuck with the ring that Sirius had tucked into his fist with a smile once he had left the Quidditch change rooms yesterday. He was in disbelief as Sirius told him that Regulus had watched the game and asked him to pass it on to James until he came back for it. By the light of the moon, James had finally taken the time to study the ring. To take in the etchings he had made into the metal years ago. When Sirius had first pressed the object into his hand and James had realised what it was he had thought that Regulus was giving it back to him. That Regulus was telling him that they were walking their separate ways for good. But Regulus was using it to force himself to come back. Clearly, this little object that James had spent hours on in his sixth year was still important to Regulus. It also meant that Regulus was going to talk to James eventually.

And of course, James wanted that. But a small part inside of him had started to scream that Regulus wasn’t going to tell him that he wanted to get back together. That Regulus needed the incentive to come and end things officially. To tell him to his face that the past was the past and they would never have a future.

James wasn’t a pessimistic person but when it came to Regulus he didn’t know what to think. He was no longer an optimist when his thoughts were consumed by the man. It was like a part of him wanted so badly to return to how they were before the 10th of June 1978. In two days it would be five years. Five years since he had last pressed his lips to Regulus’ lips. To his neck. To his jaw. Five years since Regulus had ended their relationship because of a misheard conversation.

He braced a hand against the kitchen counter, forcing himself to even out his breaths. He needed to keep himself together. He shouldn’t be imagining this future conversation with Regulus. He should let it happen. If Regulus wanted to walk away from him he would make himself okay. He had lived the last five years surrounded by his Quidditch team and his friends. Who needed a partner or a love life when you had them? He and Sirius could just be the cool single uncles who spoiled their friends’ children.

Because he knew that it was the same for Sirius. His best friend had idolised a future in his Hogwarts days where he spent the rest of his life with one person. Remus was it for Sirius the same way that James had known from the letter he had found in that Potions book that Regulus was it for him. There wouldn’t be anyone else for them. There hadn’t been anyone else for them in the years since they had parted from Remus and Regulus.

If only they knew with certainty that the two men felt the same.

In the quiet of the kitchen, the silence only broken by his deep breaths he heard a familiar soft whoosh sound – something he hadn’t heard in the last five years. It couldn’t be. Surely his brain was imagining things. His delusions must be reaching a new level.

Yet, he still found himself reaching a hand into his pocket, searching for the familiar object he had kept on his person for many years. The rock—the gift from Regulus that was still adorned with the same googly eyes still lived in his pocket. It was his lucky charm. It likely meant as much to him as the ring meant to Regulus.

But as his hands brushed against the magical item buried deep in his pocket he paused. His fingers brushed against a piece of paper. His brain scrambled for any other reason for how it had ended up there. Did he forget he put it there? Did someone else slip a note into his pocket last night?

He pulled out the folded piece of parchment to reveal a blank page. He reached for his wand on the kitchen counter and uttered a spell, feeling his heart skip a beat as it revealed the familiar slope of writing that he had stared at constantly in his later years at Hogwarts. Regulus’ handwriting was still as elegant as ever, honed by the tutors the Black family had given the two brothers.

But as James stared at the short message—a quote to be exact he found himself trying to decipher the meaning.

“Any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.”

He was almost certain Regulus had sent him this quote before but he couldn’t figure out when. Knowing Regulus there had to be a deeper meaning behind this, some unsaid message that was tied to the series of letters that had been sent to each other back at school. And although he had kept some of these letters—keeping them in a box in his childhood room in the Potter Manor—there were still hundreds of them.

James had hung Regulus’ ring from a silver chain around his neck, keeping it tucked into the front of his shirt. He removed it so he could clasp it in his fist as he studied the note, trying to search his mind for the meaning behind this letter. He felt as if he was left with no choice but to go to his parent’s house to search his box of letters and notes from Regulus.

He released the necklace from his hand and tucked it back out of sight, letting the cold metal press against his chest. With a sigh, James folded the note back up and returned it into his pocket. In an attempt to push any negative thoughts of his situation with Regulus out of his head, he returned to his task of searching for the sober-up potion for Sirius. He dug through the cupboard, carefully reading the bottles his dad had carefully labelled and given him. He hadn’t realised he and Sirius had used up their supply of sober-up potions—something he didn’t want to explain to his dad when he inevitably had to go to the Potter Manor to get more. He pushed aside pepperup potions and other liquids of various viscosity and colours.

By some stroke of luck, he found one sober-up potion hidden in the back of the cupboard—more than likely the very last one in the entire apartment.

Placing the bottle on the kitchen counter, he retrieved the note out of his pocket, needing reassurance that it hadn’t disappeared.

His best friend stumbled into the kitchen, still as attractive as ever even in his drunk haze. “Why’d you let me drink so much?” Sirius slumped down into one of the seats at the table, his head pressed against the wood. “I feel like the Whomping Willow hit me in the head.”

James scoffed, walking over to the table to place the potion beside Sirius. “I think you forget how competitive you are. As soon as Marlene challenged you with those firewhiskey shots there was no stopping you.”

“I shared a whole bottle of firewhiskey with Reg and didn’t feel this way.”

“Well, you had a lot more than just those shots last night.”

“Never again.”

Sirius unstoppered the top of the potion and pressed the bottle to his lips, downing it in one go. James saw the moment it kicked in, Sirius lifting his head in relief. His friend’s eyes narrowed on the note that was still in his hand, looking up at James in curiosity.

“What’s that you got there?”

James shrugged, folding the note and putting it into his pocket beside the rock. “A note.”

“Who from?”

“Regulus.”

Sirius appeared confused, furrowing his eyebrows as if something about the circumstance was troubling him. Seconds later, the expression was wiped from his face and replaced with a smirk. “How’d he get our address?”

James, feeling as confused as Sirius looked seconds ago replied with, “He didn’t.”

“Shame,” Sirius sighed, leaning back in his chair to prop his feet up on the table, crossing one over the other. “I’d love to have him around. I’m certain the little shit knows exactly where my leather jacket is.”

“My mother would have a heart attack if she saw what you were doing right now,” James told his friend as he sat down in the chair across from him.

“I wish my mother would have a heart attack.”

James, who was completely used to statements like this from Sirius, knew it was a way for his friend to joke about his history in that house. However, he knew with absolute certainty that Sirius wished his mother would drop dead.

Instead, James returned to the original conversation. “You were wearing your jacket last night.”

“My other leather jacket. The one I left at the devil’s house the night I left,” Sirius clarified with a scowl. “He always had his eye on it.”

James couldn’t help but smile in amusement. “I can’t imagine Reggie in a leather jacket.”

“Well if Reggie happens to have my leather jacket then I would very much like to have it back.”

Sirius uncrossed his legs and placed them back on the floor, leaning forward and propping his chin on his hands. James felt as if he was supposed to flinch under the intensity of Sirius’ face as his friend studied him.

“If it wasn’t owled by Regulus how’d you get the letter? Did Lily or Marlene pass it on?”

James sighed and pulled out the best thing he had to explain the situation. He placed the rock on the table so it sat between him and Sirius.

“Your pet rock?” Sirius said with a short chuckle. “Does this replace an owl?”

James rolled his eyes, as he smiled fondly at the object that had accompanied him for all these years. “It’s a magical object that transports letters between me and Regulus.”

“You mean to tell me that Regulus has been walking around with a rock with googly eyes in his pocket?”

“At Hogwarts, yes. I don’t think he was that attached to it after he ended things,” James said. “And no. Regulus’ rock does not have googly eyes.”

Sirius sighed. “Of course. He probably had a snake on his.”

James got up to make himself a cup of hot chocolate, leaving Sirius at the table to examine the magical rock. He was certain his friend was surprised that such an object existed, even more, that it was one of his little brother’s inventions.

As he sat back down at the table, Sirius placed the rock back down and tilted his head at him.

“Can I see this letter?”

James sighed and removed the letter from his pants, passing it over to his friend. It wasn’t like there was anything in that letter that Sirius would be able to understand. He knew nothing of the kind of notes that he and Regulus had exchanged back in their school days.

James watched Sirius’ eyes scan the short note, his face pinching as he examined the words on the parchment. “What is this?” Sirius asked once he looked back up at James. Before he had the opportunity to reply, Sirius was continuing, “And fucking hell why is my brother so formal. This thing has punctuation and capital letters.”

“It’s a quote,” James replied, lifting his mug to take a sip of his drink.

Sirius’ eyes returned to the note. “What does it mean?”

“I think I have to figure it out.”

His friend sighed. “Of course Regulus leaves you a fucking riddle as his version of grovelling.”

James felt a pang of hope rock his body. Maybe this wasn’t Regulus’ way of saying goodbye? To confirm Sirius’ interpretation he looked at his friend desperately. “Is that what you think this is? Grovelling?”

Sirius’ eyes snapped up from where he was reading the parchment to drill into James’ face. “What do you think it is?”

“Some elaborate way of ending things.” James grimaced, taking another long drink from his mug to hide the sour look on his face.

Sirius frowned, his eyes returning to the letter. “Prongs, he calls you lovely in this, doesn’t he?”

“He also says we are doomed,” James sighed. “I need to go to my parents’ house. I’m gonna get dad to brew us more sober-up potions while I look through the old notes I kept.”

Sirius slid the letter across the table to James. “Give me a second to freshen up. I’m coming too.”

James groaned as Sirius climbed to his feet, heading towards his bedroom. “It’s just my mum and dad. No need to dress up.”

“Oh, Prongs,” Sirius called out. “I can’t show up to Effie’s house looking like this.”

“She’s seen you in your pyjamas. I don’t particularly think she will care.”

James didn’t expect the stinging hex Sirius sent to his hand, causing him to drop the note. Fuck. He hoped that this visit to his parent’s house would clarify where his and Regulus’ relationship stood right now.

Present – 23rd June 1983

James hadn’t seen Regulus in person since their last conversation. Twenty-four days. Every second felt like hell. It was twelve days since Regulus had parted with his ring with the intention of using it to force himself to find James. He had thought that it was going to be a few days—no more than a week—and Regulus would appear at The Black Dog to retrieve the piece of jewellery. But the ring remained on the chain around James’ neck, hanging close to his heart.

He had received another note about a week ago. Another quote that had the potential to be—in Sirius’ words—grovelling. But also didn’t completely leave James pushing away the possibility that Regulus was building up to the moment where he found James, collected his ring, and they went their separate ways.

“I am one who loved not wisely but too well.”

This he had been almost certain was one that he had not been sent before. He was sure that he would have recognised this much like the first one.

The whoosh sound was something he had been beginning to imagine over the last few days. He would swear to hear the sound of a note arriving, only to reach into his pocket and find nothing there but the rock. He felt like he was starting to go crazy.

He had considered sending a note back but decided against it. Whatever he wanted to say could be said to Regulus’ face when he inevitably came to talk to him. It was difficult to convey emotions and intentions through writing, and James was scared that what he would try to say would get lost in translation.

He had just finished training with his quidditch team when the sound of the letter arriving filled his ears. He was walking with Marlene back to the changerooms, listening to her talk about her and Dorcas’ plans to decorate their new apartment and found himself freezing on the spot. But something about it felt different, and he was almost certain that this sound was not one that he had imagined.

Marlene stopped with him. “You okay, James?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Go on ahead and I’ll catch up,” he told her. Marlene gave him a curious look before she ran off to catch up to Orla and Jerry, who had been walking just ahead of them.

He reached timidly into his pocket, feeling his hand brush against the rock and a piece of parchment. He clasped the latter between two fingers and pulled it out, muttering the words to reveal the contents of the note.

“There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.”

Oh.

It was clear now. James truly had no reason to doubt what Regulus’ intention had been with the last two notes. He couldn’t help but let the smallest amount of doubt linger. He didn’t want to get his hopes up.

But yet this felt like a slap in the face. It was so different from the last quote Regulus had sent.

And if the quote said anything—it was that the time that Regulus would come looking for him should be soon.

Present – 25th June 1983

Coincidentally, James’ next Quidditch game fell on Regulus’ twenty-second birthday. Whether that was some sort of sign, he didn’t know. But Sirius was desperate to see his brother in an attempt to make up for all the birthdays he had missed. However, he was finding it difficult to find out how to contact him to achieve this.

His best chance was likely to go to St Mungo’s to see Lily and ask her to pass on a note to Regulus. Yet, Sirius had only come to that conclusion the day of Regulus’ birthday—which James was certain was a day that Lily did not work at the hospital.

Now, Sirius had turned to pestering James to use his rock to send a note to Regulus on his behalf. Of course, James had told the man no, but his friend was stubborn.

“James. He’s my brother and it’s his birthday,” Sirius whined as James was doing his routine check of his broom before the match.

“Sirius,” James sighed. “I told you I can’t do that. I’m sure Dorcas will be in the crowd and you can ask her to pass on a message.”

Sirius groaned. “That’s so much work.”

James stopped checking his broom and released an exasperated breath. “If my broom breaks today it’s your fault.”

“Fine. Fine. I’m going to go scout the crowd for Marlene’s girlfriend.” Sirius saluted James before he walked off through the tunnel that led to the Quidditch pitch. Just before he reached the pitch his friend opened the door to the right, ducking his head through and heading into the stands.

It left James standing alone in the tunnel, halfway between the entrance to the changerooms and the pitch. He couldn’t help but think: was Regulus in the crowd? But another part of him claimed that it was ridiculous. Why would Regulus watch James’ Quidditch game on his birthday? It was impossible. But yet James had some resemblance of hope inside of him. A feeling that today would be the day.

“James?”

He turned around at the sound of his manager—Edith’s—voice. He was surprised that his brain did not pick up on the clicking of the woman’s heels against the ground. James was certain he had never seen this woman with a different type of shoe on her foot.

“Yes?” He replied, slightly confused as to why she had approached him before a game.

“You’ve been asked if you are up to a pre-game interview? It’s a brief one for a newspaper,” Edith replied, tapping her pen against her clipboard.

“When? Now?” He asked. He had never been asked for a pre-match interview. He knew that his captain often had them before big matches but this wasn’t a final match and he did not lead the team.

Edith nodded. “The reporter is waiting for you just to the side outside of the tunnel.”

James looked down the tunnel and didn’t see any people standing at the exit. Whoever they were, they were hidden from his view.

“Do you want me to tell them no?” His manager asked after several seconds of silence. “This is another important game for the team. I’m sure they’ll settle for an interview after the game if you would prefer that.”

“No. I can do it now. I have time before the coach wants to talk to us.”

Edith nodded and gestured towards the exit. “I’ll walk you there.”

As they made their way through the tunnel, James turned to his manager. “Do you know what questions I’m going to be asked?”

Edith, who had been flipping through the papers on her clipboard as she walked, looked in his direction. “I assume it will be about your predictions for the game and thoughts about the final leaderboard. Questions like that.”

“Hm,” James hummed. “Makes sense.”

They left the tunnel, moving under the shelter that hid them from the crowd. Yet, it didn’t do anything to block the excited screams of the fans as they waited for the match to begin.

James turned to Edith expectedly.

“He’s just waiting for you out here,” Edith told him with a smile, nodding her head towards the reporter who seemed to be waiting somewhere behind James.

“Okay. Thank you, Edith,” James told her, watching as she turned back and began walking back through the tunnel towards the changerooms, her heels clicking as she went.

He turned around to meet the reporter and froze. He swore his heart skipped a beat as he stared at the figure with a navy blue scarf wrapped around his neck. And fuck it looked good on him. James found himself wanting to see the man in a navy blue jersey, particularly with a certain surname across the back.

Twenty-six days since he last saw this man’s face. Twenty-six days where Regulus had given him time to think. Too many days, if you asked him. James had truly only needed one to know that he didn’t want to part with this man ever again.

And here he was, standing in front of him wearing the colours of his Quidditch team. Regulus was here on his own birthday to see James.

James knew he was staring but he couldn’t help it. It had been far too long since he had seen this man and he needed to take him in once again. He truly believed that he would not ever get tired of seeing Regulus. This man would never not be beautiful to him.

“Hi,” Regulus whispered as he took a step towards James.

“Hi,” James replied. “Are you my interviewer?”

“Supposedly,” the man replied, his eyes fixed on James’ face as if he was too studying him to see if anything had changed since the last time they were face-to-face. “I assume you got my letters?”

“I did.”

James was tempted to pull the rock out of his pocket and show Regulus that it hadn’t left his person since the day Regulus had left it in the library for him.

“Okay, good,” Regulus released a breath of relief. “I was wondering whether you had left it at Hogwarts or thrown it into a river when I didn’t receive a reply.”

“You thought I would throw away a brilliant invention?”

Regulus shrugged, finally looking away from him to focus on his shoes. “You never replied. I figured you either lost the rock or you didn’t want to speak to me. I assume it’s the latter.”

“Reggie,” James said gently, reaching out to put a hand on the man’s shoulder. Once Regulus had moved his eyes from the floor and back to his face, James continued, “I didn’t want to reply with a note in case I said the wrong thing. I didn’t want to fuck this up even more.”

“Oh.” Regulus’ mouth dropped open slightly as he sucked in a breath of air.

James pulled his hand away from Regulus and tucked it into his pocket, curling his fingers around the rock there. With his other hand, he removed the ring from where it was hidden underneath his jersey.

“I assume you are here for this?”

He noticed a look of relief cross Regulus’ face at the sight of the chain around James’ neck. He couldn’t help that a stab of pain went through his chest at the expression on Regulus’ face. It reminded him that the main reason why Regulus was here was for the piece of jewellery. The ring that James had gifted him exactly six years ago for Regulus’ sixteenth birthday.

Yet, when James went to unclasp the necklace from his neck Regulus shook his head. “Not just that.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Do I have something else that belongs to you?”

Regulus tilted his head, a blush crossing his face. “Not exactly.”

“Then why else?” James asked, trying to hide the hope and desperation in his voice.

“I’m here for you.”

James’ heart sank. Right. He was here to watch him play Quidditch.

He forced himself to smile at Regulus and nod, turning his head away to look at the Quidditch pitch to hide the pain on his face. “I do appreciate the support. You can sit with Sirius if y—”

“No.” Regulus cut him off. “James. Jamie. I’m here for you. If you’ll have me.”

James was at a loss of words. Was this really happening? Was he dreaming? Did he imagine the words that left Regulus’ mouth much like how he had imagined the letters that were never there?

“Oh. Reg—”

“Wait.” Regulus pressed a finger to James’ lips. “I love you, James. And it’s hard for me to be open with my feelings not knowing if you still feel the same—if you ever did. But I’m trying because I know that is what you deserve. I’m sorry for not talking to you about what I overheard and I know that all this wasted time is my fault. I understand if what I did was unforgivable and you don’t feel the same. But I still have to tell you that I love you because I do. I do love you. Je t'aime, Jamie. Je t'aime.”

He stared at the utterly lovely, beautiful, amazing man in front of him, processing the words that just left his mouth.

Regulus loved him?

He blinked.

Regulus loved him?

Regulus shifted uncomfortably. “Are you just gonna stand there? Because I feel like an absolute idiot standing here not knowing—”

James pressed his lips against Regulus, looping his arms around his waist and stopping any more words from leaving the man’s mouth. He felt Regulus melt against him, throwing his arms around his neck to pull him even closer. And James let him. He let him because he needed the comfort of this closeness. Fuck, it wasn’t his birthday and he had just received the best gift in his entire life. He had Regulus back. And Merlin how he had missed him.

One of his hands moved from Regulus’ waist up his back to bury itself in Regulus’ hair, relishing in the familiarity of the soft, loose curls there. It was a heated kiss fuelled by raw emotion, a fierce claiming of lips, teeth and tongue as James did not hold himself back. He never thought the day would come when he would once again be kissing Regulus Black. And Merlin be damned if he wasn’t selfish at this moment.

The two of them broke apart with panted breaths, still wrapped in each other’s arms.

This had to be the best interview he had ever had.

He rested his head against Regulus’, not knowing if the tears on his face were his or Regulus’—likely both. He closed his eyes in the comfort of the man’s embrace, listening to his heart beat loudly like it was singing a song of joy.

He wanted to stay in this moment forever. He didn’t want to part himself from Regulus to go play. For once he wanted time to freeze, rather than to reverse back to when they were happy and together at Hogwarts. All felt right again now he had Regulus back in his arms with no intention of letting him slip away ever again.

“Did you get it, Barty?” A familiar voice called out.

James’ eyes snapped open, his head straightening up away from Regulus’ to look towards the source of the voice. Regulus unhooked his arms from around his neck, trying to take a step back from James as he glared at his friends. James—who wasn’t about to let that happen—kept his arms securely around the man’s waist, holding him tight against him.

It occurred to him that the crowd was roaring around them, impossibly loud for the fact that there was yet to be a player enter the pitch. He had been so lost in the moment with Regulus that he hadn’t noticed the change in volume.

But it became clear to him as he turned to see Barty standing next to the man who controlled the camera that projected onto the big screen around the stadium. Evan was standing a few paces away with a massive grin on his face.

Fuck. These two were just as chaotic as ever.

“Perfect shot,” Barty told his boyfriend, sticking a thumb up.

Regulus’ cheeks flushed as he looked away from his friends and back to him. “The kiss cam?”

James nodded. “Seems like it.”

The camera official turned around and began walking back to the pitch as the screen likely switched to a camera focused on a different couple in the crowd.

Regulus’ head was once again turned towards Barty and James could hear the scowl on his face as he reprimanded his friend. “When I asked for your help Barty it was only to get the manager, not to bring the kiss cam.”

“I was doing you a favour,” Barty replied with absolutely no concern for the look on Regulus’ face. A true crazy person (but James would never tell him that). “I was letting all of James’ crazy obsessive fans know that he is off-the-market. Now they know just how in love you two are.”

“That was an invasion of privacy,” Regulus rebutted.

“You are in a public place,” Evan cut in, earning him the Regulus glare.

James looked on in amusement, unsure whether or not he should give his own piece on the situation. A part of him understood where Regulus was coming from. But another part—the slightly obsessed and jealous part—was glad that the stadium had seen the two of them. Hopefully, people like Silas would back off from Regulus now.

“Fuck off,” Regulus told his friends.

“See you in the stands, Regulus,” Evan said as he grabbed Barty’s hand, interlacing their fingers.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Barty winked as he and Evan walked off towards the door to the stands.

Regulus turned back to James with a guilty expression on his face. “I’m sorry about them.”

“Don’t be,” he replied, pressing a kiss to Regulus’ lips before frowning. He once again reached for the clasp to the chain around the next. However, he found himself stopped once again by Regulus placing his hand against his chest over the ring.

“I’ll get it back after the match.”

“Do you still need an incentive to come talk to me?” James asked jokingly, reaching out with a hand to cup Regulus’ face.

Regulus smirked. “No. But I like knowing you are out there flying with something that belongs to me.”

“Ah,” James said as a wide grin stretched across his face.

Somewhere behind them, a person cleared their throat. Fuck. They had come to take him away. Marlene had appeared, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and a raised eyebrow. “As cute as this is, the coach is asking for everyone, James.”

James turned to Regulus, debating whether staying here with Regulus was worth his Quidditch career. It definitely was. However, Regulus went up on his tip-toes to press a kiss to his cheek before taking a step away from James with a soft smile.

“Go win that game, Jamie.”

Hearing Regulus call him by that name instead of ‘Potter’ was heavenly. Seriously, James hated being called by that nickname by everyone except Regulus. To the marauders he was ‘Prongs’, to his mum he was ‘Honey’ and to everyone, he was just ‘James’. ‘Jamie’ was saved just for Regulus’ lips, just as he was certain ‘Reggie’ was meant for only his.

He managed a few steps away from Regulus and towards Marlene before he was back in front of Regulus, pressing a hard kiss to his lips followed by a brief, softer one. His hands were on either side of his face as he rested his forehead back against Regulus’

“I love you,” he whispered. “Happy birthday.” Then Marlene was there, pulling him away by his arm, keeping a firm grip on him to ensure that they made it to the rest of the team without James running off again.

With a smile he clasped his free hand to the necklace, feeling the cool metal press against the palm of his hand.

He thought of the inscription he had engraved inside the ring when he was seventeen years old.

Amor est vitae essentia.

‘Love is the essence of life.’

And Merlin, that was true.