Chapter 5
Being inside the Potter’s home was much different this time, Regulus realized as he stands alone in the kitchen, a cup full of whatever mixture of juice and alcohol his brother decided to make. It didn’t taste half bad; perhaps a bit too sweet for Regulus’ taste, but easy to drink nonetheless.
He had arrived at the party about an hour ago and Remus had already abandoned him–he said he wanted a smoke and never returned–so Regulus had no choice but to find somewhere to hide until further notice. Fortunately, the kitchen was pretty empty, the only other people walking in and out quickly in search for something to eat, so here was, sitting on the counter with a plastic red cup being held in one of his hands. He thought about finding his brother, but already knew that he would end up finding his best friend, too, and couldn’t stomach the image.
Regulus had already been told that he was going to be staying the night because James insisted that he and Remus stay safe and sound, so he couldn’t really leave even if he wanted to. He was stuck bobbing his head side to side mindlessly to whatever music was playing on the speakers in the living room–currently it was Genie In a Bottle by Christina Aguilera–while scrolling through whatever social media could distract him the best. If he knew Effie and Monty better, he would go into the spare room that was used as a small office/library area and dig for a book, but he didn’t want to intrude.
As he takes a sip from his cup, he can hear someone walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. He assumes it’s someone else looking for something to quickly settle a case of munchies, so he doesn’t look up form his phone, not really caring to see who it is this time. He hears the fridge door close and waits to hear the footsteps fade away, but there’s a small laugh and the the footsteps are getting closer. Before Regulus knows it, hands on either side of him are pinning him to the counter. He’s about to tell the person to fuck off before he looks up.
Staring back at him are hazel eyes–only slightly hazed over–framed with golden glasses and a lop-sided smile tugging at perfectly plump lips. Curls fall over James’ forehead perfectly, a slight sheen of sweat causing a few strands to stick above his eyebrows. It was clear he had been dancing, most likely the life of the party, because there’s no other role James could take on.
“James,” Regulus breathes out, laying his phone next to him. James’ eyes seem to light up upon hearing his name and all Regulus can think is how pretty he looks like this. Had he not been drinking, he would have had the sense to push the spectacled boy away, but every bone in his body screams that that’s a terrible idea.
“Regulus,” James’ smile grows the slightest bit, showing a few of his teeth. Regulus imagines a small cartoon shine lighting up and can’t help but smile at the thought. “What’s funny?”
“Nothing,” Regulus looks at his lap, shaking his head. He can hear James let out a small, breathy laugh through his nose. Regulus, in an attempt to not give into temptation and look back up, starts digging at the knee of his jeans, fingers searching desperately for a loose string.
“Are you having fun in here?” James bends down slightly so that Regulus can see him. “I mean, it looks exciting and all, but, y’know.”
Regulus lets out a light chuckle, lifting his eyes to meet James’ again. He hadn’t drank much–only about two cups of the mystery drink–but the small amount of alcohol was enough to stop him from being mean. Well, from being mean to James, at least. He was sure if anyone else walked in right now, he would send a glare so sharp it would likely slice them in half right then and there.
“It’s rather exciting in here, actually,” Regulus lifts his head completely, watching as James slowly lifts himself as well. James tilts his head slightly, and Regulus, without thinking, moves a few of the loose curls hanging in front of the boy’s eyes. “I’m learning a lot of gossip by pretending to not be listening.”
“Oh, really?” James’ grin nearly split his face in half. “Mind indulging me?”
“Well,” Regulus starts, adjusting himself the slightest bit to sit up straight, “did you know Severus’ father actually dragged his mum into debt? So, even though he makes fun of the kids attending Hogwarts on a scholarship, the only thing keeping him here is his grandma’s money.”
James’ eyes widen the slightest and he bites his bottom lip and Regulus silently prays that someone knows CPR, because this might kill him. If he was sober, it would be easy to slow his heart, but since he’s not in total control, he can feel the fast thumping all the way in his toes. It’s overwhelming, but he refuses to look away form the sight in front of him.
“So, Snivelus isn’t even a rich snob? He’s just a snob pretending to be rich?” James asks, his eyes glancing downwards. Regulus just nods, eyes drifting back to his lap and starting to feel somewhat lightheaded as James leans closer and closer and…
“Where’s Spider-Man?” Regulus suddenly remembers, and, fortunately, causes James to freeze in place, their lips only inches from meeting. James clears his throat and backs up the slightest.
“You had just missed him, actually. He had stuff to do,” James frowns lightly. Regulus feels himself deflate a little, seeing as he didn’t go see him on patrol last night because he thought he’d be able to see him today. “It’s fine, though, you can go see him on patrol tomorrow night, right?”
“Yeah, if I can convince my mom to let me be out that late,” Regulus nods, tucking a lose strand of hair behind his ear before looking back up at James. James smiles softly at him. Then a song starts playing and James’ eyes widen comically. “What?”
“I love this song!” James exclaims, grabbing for Regulus’–now empty–hands and dragging him off the counter, despite his protests. Regulus listens and thinks of a title and artist, then remembers something James had told him years ago, when Sirius was still living at the Noble House of Black.
James loves ABBA.
Regulus realizes that this is ABBA before the words even start, and he holds back a laugh. He lets James sway his arms loosely to the music, both of them smiling widely. When the lyrics start, the name of the song flows into his head.
“Honey, honey, how you thrill me, uh huh!” James sings along, removing his hands from Regulus’ and pretending to swoon. “Honey, honey, nearly kills me, uh huh!”
Regulus lets out a laugh, now biting his lip, and his body starts to heat up as James dances around him.
“I’d heard about you before!” James sang, pointing a finger at Regulus. Then, he grabs Regulus’ hand and pulls him closer. “I wanted to know some more! And now I know what they mean, you’re a love machine!”
“You’re ridiculous, Potter,” Regulus scoffs, but he can’t forces his smile to dissapear no matter how hard he tries. James just smiles wider.
“Honey, honey, let me feel it, uh huh!” James places his hands on both of Regulus’ shoulders, pushing and pulling lightly to force him to sway to the beat. “Honey, honey, don’t conceal it, uh huh!”
Regulus watches, feeling pure adoration as James sings to him, his heart beating at an unhealthy pace at this point. Without thinking, he grabs the boy’s hands, stopping him from dancing and, subconsciously, moving him closer. He only realizes this when he feels James’ fingers gripping at his waist, and suddenly all control is lost as the next lyrics fall much quieter from James’ lips.
“The way that you kiss goodnight,” James leans in, “the way that you hold me tight.”
Regulus brings his hand up to squeeze at James’ bicep, not being to stop himself when it’s right there. He bites down on his bottom lip again, staring at the muscle before remembering who was in front of him and staring into deep hazel eyes. The same hazel eyes that had driven him insane since his first year at Hogwarts. Regulus glances down to James’ lips one time, and that’s all it takes before their mouths meet.
Kissing James isn’t what he had imagined it to be for years in his dreams. No, it was so, so much better. It felt like the first breath of fresh air after diving into a pool much to deep; like sitting in front of the fire after spending all day in the snow. It was nothing like books described it–no fireworks, no sparks; just warmth and relief and happiness spreading everywhere all at once. It was almost overwhelming when the kiss was suddenly deepend and Regulus was tilting his head back.
Within seconds, Regulus found himself back on the counter, legs wrapped around James’ torso and his hands tangled in loose, damp curls. He felt James’ hands everywhere, and that’s precisely where he wanted–no, needed–them. He needed to feel James’ touch on every inch of his skin, needed him to never stop touching him everywhere. Then, he felt something softly prod at his lips. Oh, fuck.
Regulus opened his mouth hastily for the boy, tongues clashing in a hunger-driven war for dominance. It was magical; that’s the only way Regulus could describe it. The churning in his stomach never stopped, but he also felt so relaxed and happy. It was so confusing, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment. Not when James Potter’s tongue was in his mouth and James Potter’s hands were squeezing at his waist and–
“What the actual fuck is going on here?!”
Regulus pulled away, panting, and James let out a small whine. Regulus felt like he was going to pass out after hearing the noise, and, almost forgetting about the sudden company, he leans in again. Before reaching his goal, though, James is dragged backward and Regulus’ eyes widen as he looks to who would’ve done that.
“Sirius–”
“Reg, what the fuck are you doing?” Sirius’ voice is raised, his hand gripping the back of James’ shirt.
“Sirius, don’t yell at him, I–”
“Shut the fuck up, James!” Sirius lets go of him, pushing him a little bit. Absolutely not. Regulus forces himself off of the counter and walks up to Sirius.
“Don’t push him, Sirius,” Regulus says through gritted teeth. He’s still panting, his lungs attempting to make up for the lack of air that occurred seconds ago. “He can kiss whoever he wants, and so can I.”
“This isn’t cool, Reg! He’s my best friend!” Sirius’ breathing is heavy, too, but that’s likely due to the anger, Regulus thinks. A small vein is popping out on his forehead, something that only happens when Sirius is furious.
“Like Remus isn’t my best friend?!” Regulus snaps, shoving Sirius’ shoulder.
“Let me rephrase that,” Sirius huffs, clenching his jaw and glaring harshly at Regulus. He looks so much like their mother that it makes Regulus shrivel a little. “James is my brother.”
Oh.
Regulus doesn’t know how to respond to that at first, just staring in disbelief as his stomach drops to the floor. His vision goes blurry as he thinks about the implications of the words. James is Sirius’ brother, not Regulus. Regulus gave up that role the night he stayed. Regulus doesn’t have an older brother, but James does. Oh.
“Oh,” Regulus feels his chest tighten and inhales shakily.
“Sirius, that wasn’t necessary,” a familiar voice says. Regulus can’t make it out at the moment, though, because it seems so distant. How distant could it be, though, if they’re in a kitchen? Regulus’ head spins.
***
James doesn’t know what to do, and he knows Sirius and Remus are saying something to each other, but he can’t be bothered by their conversation. Regulus is falling apart in front of them and no one’s paying him any attention. He looks pale; sickly, almost. A tear falls down his cheek and his body is trembling. Why isn’t anyone doing anything?
James looks up to see Remus and Sirius shooting snarky looks and comments toward one another. Still, he doesn’t pay any attention to the two, instead stepping over to Regulus and pulling him into a hug. He had only seen Regulus cry the once, and this seems like so much more than that, so he really didn’t know what to do. He knew he needed to comfort him somehow, though.
“Prongs, back off,” Sirius nearly growled, undoubtedly fuming. “He doesn’t need to be helped. He’s being a baby, just like he always used to do when he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. The tears aren’t working, Reggie!”
“Sirius, what the fuck is your problem?” Remus sounds just as angry as Sirius, if not more. “Why are you being so fucking cruel?”
“I’m not being cruel! He’s being dramatic! He’s always fucking dramatic,” Sirius points a hand in Regulus’ direction, and James can feel a sob shake the body he’s holding.
“Pads, that’s enough,” James swats at Sirius’ hand, earning a look of borderline betrayal. “You’re being mean. I kissed him and he kissed back, and you’re being mean. You’re the one being dramatic and it’s making you act like someone you’re not.”
Sirius blinks, seemingly taken aback, a muscle in his jaw twitching before he stomps out of the kitchen, fists clenched. Remus stays behind, heaving a sigh and pinching his nose bridge.
“I’m going to take him to my room and give him some privacy,” James declares, feeling tension leave Remus’s shoulders as he only nods in response before walking out to, presumably, chase after Sirius.
James does his best to usher Regulus through the crowd of people without him being seen, holding a hand up to cover his face so no one could tell that he was crying. Fortunately, the music was much too loud for anyone to hear anything go on in the kitchen, so no one really pays much mind to the two of them. Barty gives a concerned look, but nods and pays attention to Evan after James gave him a quick thumbs up, silently saying he’s got it.
Once they got to James’ room, Regulus was suddenly clinging to him, and James could feel every shake and every violent sob that wracked the boy’s body. It made his heart break in two when he realized that, if Regulus had been sober, he would’ve likely held all of this back. Getting caught by Sirius sobered James right up, but clearly didn’t have the same effect on the other boy.
“Why does he always choose you, James?” Regulus spoke with no emotion after he was finished, his voice raw and painful sounding. James flinched at this.
“What are you–?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Regulus lets out a bitter laugh and rolls his eyes. “He’s chosen you over me since he met you, and I thought I was used to it, but–” He cuts himself off, his voice breaking, and decides to take a sip of water instead.
“He didn’t mean what he said, Reg. He’s just drunk and angry, you know that,” James was sitting with his legs crossed on the floor across from Regulus, who had since changed into some pajamas. Music was still blasting, the dull thuds of a beat seeping into the bedroom, but James paid it no mind.
“He just looked so much like her,” Regulus scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “He only wanted to hurt me, just not physically. He knows how to get under my skin, and he did just that. I hate him for it.”
“You don’t mean that,” James laid one of his hands on top of Regulus’, who, shockingly, allowed it. Instead of moving away, he sighs,
“I know, but I wish I did,” Regulus squeezes his knees closer to his chest. “We shouldn’t have kissed, we know how he gets.”
“To be fair, I wasn’t thinking of him at all when I kissed you,” James lets out a small laugh, and Regulus gives him a half-smile.
“I wasn’t, either,” Regulus shrugs. “Crazy what alcohol can do to a person, huh?”
“Reg–”
“I’d like to go to sleep,” Regulus states firmly, moving his hand away from James’. They’re silent for a second, and James feels his shoulders sag after understanding that Regulus won’t talk about it. Not right now, at least.
“You can sleep in here, I’ll sleep in my parent’s room,” James pushes against the floor, standing himself up before reaching a hand out to help Regulus up as well. They stare at each other, because it’s far too easy for James to get lost in the steely pools of green, and it’s far too easy for them to make his heart falter. “Goodnight kiss?”
Regulus laughs and rolls his eyes, pushing James’ chest back playfully. “Goodnight, James.”
“Goodnight, Reg,” James smiles softly as Regulus climbs into his covers. “Sleep well.”