Regulus always thought the concept of soulmates was stupid, because why should the universe decide for him who's his perfect match? The idea of someone or something choosing for him a random stranger and making them the perfect partner, the one that's supposed to make you happy and love you unconditionally was making Regulus angry. Because it should be his decision.
Or maybe he didn't always think it was stupid, a long time ago when he was just a small child he used to adore the idea of his one, true love waiting somewhere for him. He used to beg his cousins to tell him stories about soulmates and often would fall asleep fantasising of his future soulmate saving him from the awful house he grew up in like some sort of white knight.
It all changed when he grew up and realised it would never be the case for him, after all he was the heir of The Noble and Most Ancient Hose of Black. Even thought he was second after his brother it didn't save him from the family duties and one of them was to marry a pure blood witch of his parent's choice.
So he abandoned his dreams of a perfect soulmate and started to hate it instead.
Is it some twisted cope mechanism? Maybe. Is it healthy? Regulus doesn't know nor does he care. Does it work? Yes, and that's all that really matters in the end.
The only fault in this plan is that if he ever meets his soulmate he will be heartbroken and deep down Regulus knows it but is afraid of admitting it to anyone, even himself. So now he hopes he'll never meet his soulmate, and even if he does meet them, he'll make sure to never find out.
The thing with soulmates is that everyone is born with a handprint in the place your soulmate first touches you. At first it's bright red, like it's begging for everyone to notice it, try if it's yours, see if you're the lucky one. When the magical touch finally happens it's supposed to be warm, not like is burns but more like the feeling of holding a cup filled with hot tea, nice and happy. And then it becomes pink, it's still noticeable but not in a flashy way anymore, it's more subtle. Just a remainder that you found the right person, your special person.
So from his eleventh birthday when his mother cruelly informed him that he should give up his hopes of ever marrying his soulmate until it would be someone appropriate for his status, Regulus decided to protect his left hand no matter what. He never touches anybody who he hasn't touched before with it, when in crowded places he always makes sure to hold something in it to prevent any accidental touch, mostly he just avoids strangers completely but if he has to interact with someone new he makes sure to always greet them with his right hand, it's not only polite but also safe.
The only people who are allowed to touch him these days are Barty, Evan, Pandora, Dorcas and his brother. Regulus figures it's also alright if someone with a pink soulmate mark would touch him, but at this point he's already so unfamiliar with it that he'd prefer not.
His hard work payed off well so far, at sixteen he hasn't meet or discovered who his soulmate is, and Regulus plans to keep it that way. His life is relatively simple, he mainly focuses on his studies, socialises only with his close friends and tries to enjoy what little of freedom he has while being at school.
This was until the start of his 6th year, when all of a sudden his brothers best friend James 'The Golden Gryffindor Boy' Potter started to behave strangely towards Regulus. It started innocent enough with the older smiling at Reg whenever they caught eye contact or a small talk here and there when they passed each other in the corridors. It wasn't like they were strangers for the past six years together at school, but they weren't friends neither, and what should make Regulus suspicious was the absence of his brother every time these small interactions happened. The only reason why the younger Black had any association with Potter was because of Sirius, with the older boys being best friends at first sight or as they liked to joke 'platonic soulmates', and the Black brothers trying to maintain their difficult relationship as close as possible, they had been familiar with each other through the years. It was never like this though, this felt personal, as if James wanted to get closer to Regulus on his own, not only for Sirius's benefit, which should alarm the Slytherin, it really should, but he really enjoyed the attention so he let his guard down.
And you can't really blame him for that, James Potter is fit, so bloody fit it makes Regulus feel things he'd rather not feel about him, or anyone for that matter. Ever since 'the accident' as Reg liked to call it when he saw the Gryffindor Quidditch captain shirtless at his brothers birthday party last year he couldn't get the older boy out of his head. Up until this point Regulus was just confused about himself, in denial, but after this event he couldn't lie to himself any longer he was gay with a big, fat crush on James Potter.
But it wasn't only about his looks, the Gryffindor was unbelievable charismatic, there was no one in the castle (maybe except Snape) who wouldn't like him, his pranks as annoying as they are, can always make Reg laugh as long as they are not aimed directly at him. He is really smart which reflected in his grades, and him being the Quidditch captain proved not only that he was good at this sport but also his determination and hard work he has had put into it.
So yeah, maybe Regulus had a crush on James and was really pleased with the sudden attention he was getting from the older, so what? He was just a hormonal teenager sue him. And also there would be no harm in getting a little bit closer to the Gryffindor boy as long as he doesn't act on these silly feeing, would there?
Oh how wrong he was.
♡♡♡♡♡
"Hi there." Regulus almost jumped from his seat in the library where he was just moments ago quietly doing his charms homework, when James approached him "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
It only took a moment for Reg to steady his heartbeat from the sudden noise, he looked up at the Gryffindor as he sat down next to him with a guilty look on his face.
"What do you want Potter?" he tried to not sound as annoyed as he was but judging from the older boys face he failed to do so.
"I was wondering if you're free Sunday afternoon." the older boy said shyly with a faint blush creeping on his cheeks, it was so out of character for him it was amusing.
Regulus raised an eyebrow looking surprised at the others question "Are you asking me out Potter?" he asked with a smirk.
James watched him closely and as soon as the words escaped his lips his blush became deeper as he gasped uncomfortably "What? No, of course not. I- I just-" he took a deep breath running his fingers through his hair "I was just wondering if you could-" he paused suddenly the puzzled look on his face was adorable.
"If I could what?" Reg pushed after a moment of silence from the other trying to cover the saddens in his voice caused by James denying as if he'd try to ask the younger out. He would say no of course, but James's reaction to his small joke was a bit hurtful.
"Sirius's birthday is coming up and since it's Hogsmeade weekend I was wondering if you could help me buy a gift for him?"
The younger boy was sure he looked like a fish out of water as he looked silently, suddenly feeling a loss of words. The request was just completely ridiculous because in what world would James Potter have a problem with buying a gift for his brother? And what would make him thing asking Regulus of all people would be a good idea?
"Why don't you ask one of your many friends for help?" he finally chocked out after what felt like hours of silence.
"Can't. Everyone's busy."
"And what gives you the impression that I am not?"
"Nothing? I literary asked if you are free."
He had a point Regulus couldn't argue with, the whole situation was just so bizarre he didn't know what to think of it and he had no doubt he wasn't thinking at all when he said "Fine."
"Yeah sure, maybe another tim-" it was fascinating for Regulus to watch as Potters face changed from disappointing to shocked just to lit up like he'd just find out that Christmas came early this year "Wait really?"
"Yes Potter, I will accompany you to Hogsmeade this Sunday to help pick you a gift for my brother's birthday." he didn't need to say it like that but at the same time he did, because this whole thing was just so strange it seemed unreal "But if I find out it is a prank, I'll hex your balls off."
"NO, no I swear it's not."
They starred at each other for a moment James grinning like a lunatic, Reg's cheeks hurt just from watching that as he tried to maintain a neutral expression.
"Okey, cool, awesome. Meet me at the Entrance Hall at noon? Or should I pick you up form the Dungeons?"
"The Entrance Hall is fine Potter."
"Yeah, awesome, see you then."
And with that he left a very confused Regulus alone again, because what did just happened?
Did James Potter really just asked him to Hogsmeade with this truly absurd excuse, and more important did he really agreed to that?
♡♡♡♡♡
"You did what?"
Regulus tried to keep his little outing with Potter a secret, but after his friends nagged him for hours on what's the matter with him, he finally let it split. There was no use in keeping it quiet when there was a chance somebody could spot them together anyway.
It was a Friday evening just two days before his meeting with James, and as usual when there's no party going on Regulus and his friends meet at the Slytherin boys dormitory for some gossip and Firewhisky. Dorcas always sneaks Pandora in and for some reason Reg doesn't want to know Barty's got a pretty impressive stock on the alcohol hid under his bed.
"Oh you got yourself a little date with Potter, it's hilarious." said Barty who was lying on the floor with Evan, laughing more with every word Regulus said.
"Oh piss off, it's not a date."
"But you wish it was." Dorcas was really lucky the younger Black was too comfortable lying in Pandora's lap to grab his wand.
"Stop doing that you'll get wrinkles." the girl scolded him massaging gently the spot between his brows "And yall stop giving him a hard time about it."
Regulus relaxed a little knowing at least one of his friend's got his back, maybe it is because she isn't a Slytherin or maybe it is her gentle nature but right now he regrets admitting his crush on Potter to all of his friends expect from Pandora.
"But Dora you have to agree it is funny."
"No it really isn't." her hand now stroking his hair "It's sad how Reg lost his opportunity for a real date with James with his snarky remarks."
Barty started to laugh again while Regulus sat up straight on the bed next to the blonde witch looking at her with deer eyes.
"Now that was just plain cruel Panda, giving him false hope like that."
But Pandora wasn't like that, like the rest of their friends group. Don't get Regulus wrong he's not judging them, if the roles were reversed and it was someone else in that position he'd mock them just as hard as they did him.
"I'm not, but Reg doesn't want to hear it. And I don't think you're ready to hear it just yet anyway." she sighed throwing herself back on the bed.
And Regulus tried for her words to not get to him, he really tried not to get any false hope. He knew Pandora meant well, just trying to be optimistic. But that night as he was falling asleep he tought about golden eyes and wondered how it'd feel to touch the sun.
♡♡♡♡♡
When Sunday came around Regulus found himself wide awake at the crack of dawn and figuring he won't fall asleep again he tiptoed out of the room, not to wake up his sleeping roommates and made his way for a early breakfast.
The Great Hall was mostly empty considering it was a Sunday morning and most of the students slept in, even the teachers table was almost empty.
He would never say it out loud but he was nervous and even considered standing Potter out , but it wouldn't be polite. And he didn't really wanted to do that either.
So after eating a really light breakfast because he was sure his stomach couldn't handle much he went back to his dormitory. After making sure his friends are still fast asleep he decided to take a long, much needed shower.
He drawn out the shower for as long as he could, going throught his whole skincare routine twice trying to hide the fact that he barely slept.
When he went back into his room Barty and Evan were still asleep on the latter’s bed, he climbed into his own bed with the intention to read something in order to calm his nerves but somehow he managed to fall asleep instead.
When he woke up again it was because of the bed shifting beside him "Reg wake up, it's time to get ready." it was Dora which meant it was ten thirty in the morning as she promised to come over and help him out with picking out an outfit.
Still half asleep the Slytherin rolled to his side and snuggled into the girls arms. Usually he wasn’t a touchy person, and Merlin forbid he’s ever touch a stranger, but it was Dora his best friend, favourite person (don’t tell the others) and the only person besides (once) his brother he didn’t hold back from touching. Also she gives the best cuddles.
“Tell him I died.”
“None of that, you promised him a date and you won’t chicken out of it.”
“It’s not a date!”
“Whatever makes you sleep at night, now chop-chop, we don’t have all day. Get up and go take a shower, you look like you need one.”
For someone as calm and gentle like Pandora, she didn’t tolerate no bullshit and didn't hold back from telling her friends off if needed. Not wanting to piss her off, after all she was here this early to help him out, Regulus obediently got up form bed and went to have (another) shower, but he did make it quick this time just to fresh up a bit.
When he came back to the dormitory Panda already woke Barty and Evan up claiming they need as much help as possible to make him look hot enough for Potter to drool. Half an hour later Dorcas joined them, still in her pyjama, meaning she literary just woke up and didn't bothered with changing.
Between making some more fun of Regulus (Barty and Evan), bickering about everything (Barty and Dorcas) and judging every clothing item Regulus owns (Barty and Pandora) they managed to come up with an good enough outfit consisting of basic black slacks (Dorcas said his ass looks amazing in them), the same colour button up and Barty's soft green sweater which was simple but could do. It was still warm enough outside so he didn't need to wear a coat which he was glad for because it'd ruin the outfit.
He arrived at the main entrance on the dot just to find Potter already there, chatting with none other than Lily Evans but the conversation apparently wasn't that important because the second his gaze landed on Regulus he quickly excused himself and came straight to the younger "You actually came."
"Of course I did, I obligated, it'd be rude no to show up."
"Yeah, the pureblood etiquette, whatever, I'm glad you came." the older smiled like it was the best thing that happened to him and Regulus couldn't not roll his eyes seeing that.
"Yes whatever shall we?" and without waiting for a response Regulus just went off like he knew Potter would follow, and he did.
The walk to Hosmeade was relatively peaceful, Potter made a comment from time to time, told a joke or two but seemed happy with staying quiet as well, which in Regulus's mind was out of character for him. But at the same time Reg had no idea what the older was really like in person because apart from some small talks and what his brother told him, he had no opportunity of getting to know the Gryffindor Chaser.
When they finally reached the village the Slytherin was pleasantly surprised, he thought that by that moment he'd want to kill Potter at least once.
"So where do you want to go first"?
"I? It was your idea in the first place. I bought a gift months ago and didn't put it off until the last minute like somebody."
"Ok, alright, that's fair. I was thinking Zonko's?" of course he did Regulus thought rolling his eyes again, but didn't respond just followed the older into the shop.
Regulus was at that place once or twice before but a Joke Shop wasn't his cup of tea and he felt really out of place there. James on the other hand was having the time of his life even thought it looked like he knew the shop merchandise by heart it didn't stop him from looking at every single item. It was both hilarious and annoying at the same time. In the end they didn't find a gift for Sirius because nothing was good enough according to the older but he did buy a whole bag for himself (more like for theirs little group pranks).
Next was the Quill Shop which in Regulus's mind was not a good idea at all, because what would they possibly find there that would be an appropriate gift for his brother? And like he predicted they didn't find anything there, but he wasn't complaining since he did buy himself a new Quill so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Honeydukes was the only shop both of them enjoyed together, and by the time they got there Regulus relaxed enough to start actually enjoying the little outing with Potter, even thought they didn't make any progress in finding the gift. Both of them bought some sweets, Reg only his favourites; Toffees and Fudge which wasn't much comparing to James's full bag of sweets which he swore he didn't buy all for himself.
"I promised Moony to buy him a month worth of sweets so he would keep Sirius in the castle today." he grinned obviously proud of himself for thinking it throught "I also promised him the dorm would be free, so I had to brag Wormy with sweets for that to happen." and that Regulus would rather not know, thank you very much.
Regulus knew of his brothers relationship with Lupin, it wasn't common knowledge considering their parents but at the same time they were quiet obvious, and it was a miracle nobody cought up on that yet.
They wandered around the village, window shopping to see if anything would caught their attention, they thought about something Quidditch related, looking at the equipment shop exposition. In the end they voted against it as Sirius already had everything he needed brand new and he didn’t play in the team anymore anyway. Hogsmeade was small, so small that within two hours they walked around it with no luck.
"You can always owl order something, there's still enough time to do that." Regulus said as they were heading back.
"Yeah, I guess I'll do that." James's tone was cheerful as always "Would you like to go to Madam Puddifoot's? It looks like we missed lunch."
Regulus was well aware that they indeed missed lunch and because of his way too early and small breakfast his stomach has been growling like crazy for the past hour so he didn't hesitate in agreeing to the older boy's offer. The fact that Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop was a common date localisation didn't meant anything, right? It was closer and better than The Three Broomsticks so it was a reasonable choice to go there. Nevertheless Regulus couldn't shake off that weird, happy feeling inside of him.
When they got to the Tea Shop it was mostly empty, they decided to sit by one of the tables in the back.
"What do you want? It's on me since you went throught all that trouble."
"I-"
"Oh they have the seasonal hot chocolate already! Did you eve drink it? It's not as good as the one I make at home but close enough."
"No-"
"Would you like the classic or the caramel one?"
Regulus took a deep breath "I never had a hot chocolate before actually ." he finally got to say.
"Oh. " James got quiet for a moment obviously shocked with the younger boys statement.
"Yeah according to my mum it is 'too childish'."
James smiled at him a bit sad, probably already used to hear similar things from his best friend "Would you like to try? I promise it is worth it, and if you don't like it we can always order something different."
Regulus couldn't help but smile "Can I have the caramel one please?"
After receiving their orders Regulus wasn't even ashamed of agreeing with James, the hot chocolate was really tasty, but the smile on the older boys face even better.
The Gryffindor was telling a story, something about one of their pranks but Reg was only half listening, most of his attention was on the other boys right hand, just casually resting on the table with the red mark for everyone to see. Regulus had to fight the urge to touch it.
♡♡♡♡♡
It was almost a week later when Potter approached him again, not like he didn't try but Regulus avoided him like the plague, so James had to be smart about it.
It was a Friday afternoon in late October, Barty an Evan got themselves a detention till later in the evening. Actually it was Barty who got a detention first and Evan being the pathetic bastard that he was got one right after just so he could accompany his boyfriend.
So it was just Regulus and the girls who decided they wanted to enjoy the last days of sun and dragged the boy out to sit by the lake.
Regulus wasn't pleased with that but he didn't complain either.
He was sprawled on the grass with his head once again in Pandoras lap, his eyes closed as she was trying out her new, glitter eyeliner on him. Regulus didn't really feel like talking so he let the girls do all the work, he was dozing off listening to Dorcas complaining how much work 7th year is.
The boy was in the last stage of falling asleep when he noticed it got suspiciously quiet around him meaning the girls stopped talking ,which wasn't common for them at all. In order to check what's going on he slowly opened his eyes just in time to see someone sitting down on the grass right in next to them. He blinked twice and tried to rub his eyes just for Pandora to smack his hands away "You'll mess my hard work." She scolded him.
"Hi Reg, tought you were sleeping."
"Potter." Regulus's heart started beating faster as he clumsily sat up to face the older "What do you want?"
The Gryffindors hair was even messier then usual, his brown skin shiny and an exhausted but happy look on his face. Judging from his Quidditch uniform Reg figured he just finished practice and he was sitting close enough that Regulus could smell him, Merlin it should be illegal to smell this good after physical exercise.
"It's nice to see you too Regulus. I'm fine thanks for asking. And how are you feeling on this beautiful day?"
At this moment Regulus decided he was way too tired for Potters childish jokes and goofy smile "I was just fine before you decided to annoy me." he rolled his eyes "What do you want?"
"Oh Reggie you wound me. Cant' I just want to have a simply chat with you?"
"You wanted a chat, we just had one now you can leave."
If he was to harsh on James the boy didn't show it with his eyes glowing when he laughed out loud, the sound giving Regulus goose-bumps, he'd never admit to. If someone notices he'll blame it on the chilly wind.
"Okay, okay. I actually did want something."
"Come on Potter, shear with the class while we're still young." honestly up until this point Regulus forgot that they weren't alone and Dorcas voice snapped him out of the illusion.
"So we're having a surprise birthday party for Sirius-"
"Surprise party? What are we ten?" the older girl sneered apparently participating in the conversation now.
"Oh I actually think it is a lovely idea."
"Right? Thank you Pandora it was obviously my brilliant idea. The planning was a bit hard-"
Reg shoot a deathly glance at stare at the blonde which, because what was she thinking agreeing with Potter, it was a betrayal and it irritated him "Back to the point Potter."
The moment Regulus spoke James's attention was immediately back at him, his chat with Pandora stopped mid sentence "Yeah right, as I was saying, the party's tomorrow and I wanted to invite you. Of course all of you are invited including Barty and Evan, where are they anyway?"
For a split second Reg tought about saying no, just because it was James who invited him, but it was his brothers birthday, 17th birthday to be more accurate and obviously Regulus would come. Their relationship may not be the best but they were trying after all.
What shocked him was inviting his friends as well, being invited to Gryffindor parties was nothing new for him, even thought he almost never went his brother always tried. And as strange as the invitation was, Regulus figured it's be nice to have some familiar faces with him.
"That's not relevant. When does it start?"
"Oh, so Moony will bring him to the common room around six, but we asked everyone to be half an hour earlier just so we have enough time to hid for the surprise."
Regulus turned to the girls asking silently if they agree to come with him, Dorcas nodded her head yes, and Dora had the biggest smile on her face "We'll be there."
"Really? Awesome, that's awesome." and Reg wasn't sure how was it even possible for Potters grin to go wider but somehow it did and the younger felt something warm in his chest knowing it was because he agreed. Or they agreed but whatever.
"Was it all Potter?" this time he was really grateful for Dorcas interrupting because he really needed for James to finally go, not trusting himself around him right now.
"Yes right. I'll see yall then." he finally stood up ready to leave "Oh and Regulus, please wear that eyeliner tomorrow, you look absolutely stunning in it."
♡♡♡♡♡
Regulus considered arriving to the party fashionably late to avoid the whole surprise part but his friends had other plans, he couldn't blame them, everyone knew Gryffindor parties were always the best in the castle and he was sure that one was about to be the most epic one yet. It was his brothers 17th after all. He was nervous, not that he'd show it but after Potters comment yesterday he couldn't shake the warm feeling off his chest and it made him feel uneasy.
When Barty and Evan came back from their detention it was right before curfew so it was too late to sneak Dora in for their weekly gossip, but Dorcas made sure to fill them in what they missed, unfortunately for Reg no Pandora meant there was no one to defend him from the other Slytherins teasing so he had to suck it up until they got bored and found a more interesting topic.
The five of them got ready together in the Slytherin boys dormitory and somewhere between the pre drinking and Barty fighting Dorcas because she stole his favourite shirt Regulus felt relaxing.
So here they were at five thirty sharp the four Slytherins too deep into their bickering on who's supposed to knock on the portrait door to notice that Pandora already asked the Fat Lady to inform the people inside that they're here.
Luckily for Regulus it wasn't Potter who opened the door but Peter complaining under his breath about that they're late and how they're almost here and none of them had the time for a snarky remark because they were rudely rushed to hide.
A wave of panic swept over him when he saw the crowded room and he clenched his left palm into a fist, seeing that Panda immediately took his hand into her own two and lead them after Dorcas to hid behind one of the furthest couches. Just a moment later they heard Potters excited voice calling out "They're coming." and the room felt silent.
Regulus tried to look around but he couldn't see anything form the spot he was hiding in so he tried to relay on his hearing sense instead, after a few silent seconds he heard the door opening and his brothers laughter "That's odd, why is no one here?"
In that moment the common room lights brightened and everyone jumped out screaming 'Happy Birthday'. Regulus saw his brothers face shocked but it changed to happiness right after, all the people gathered around the older Black in order to give him their wishes as he fake sobbed. Regulus rolled his eyes at that behaviour and hang back with his friends waiting for the crowd to disperse.
He watched as Potter made his way over to pull his brother into a hug and to whisper something into his ear and both of them looked over at his group.
"Oh Reggy you're here!" Sirius screamed closing his arms around the younger in a tight embrace "And you brought your little gang too! Good, the more people to celebrate me the better."
"Yeah whatever. Happy birthday I guess."
"Enthusiastic as always I see little brother." after longer than necessary Sirius finally let go of him, because everything the older did was dramatic so the hugs were no exception "Regulus Arcturus Black are you wearing make up?!"
"Stop shouting you prick. It's not a big deal, Dora insisted."
"Yeah sure, we'll get back to that conversation. Anyway, how cool is my jacket? Reggie tell me my jacket looks cool."
"I think it's gorgeous, it really brings out your eyes." Reg really wished Pandora stopped being so nice to everyone especially to the Gryffindor's.
But this time it wasn't only Panda who decided be disloyal and Regulus couldn't believe what he was hearing when Evan agreed "Yeah, it is indeed a neat jacket."
"He is cool. Rosier you can officially be one of my friends." Sirius threw his arm around the blonde shoulders and if looks could kill he'd be long dead from the way Barty was staring at him but Regulus was distracted quick enough with the next sentence that came out of his brothers mouth "Prongs got it for me, it's custom, muggle made so it had to take months. Isn't that so special?"
"How long?"
"Muggles don't have magic remember? And this jacket was made by hand not on one of their weird machines so it must take a long time to make."
The younger Black wasn't sure what to do with that information, because why would Potter need his help in finding a gift if he already had one? It wasn't like he was looking for something to add because clearly that jacket was more than enough, not only thoughtful but also over the top expensive.
Pandoras words were echoing in his head 'lost his opportunity for a real date', he blocked it out before he started to overthink it more then he was supposed to.
The party was in full swing and Regulus watched a bit envious at his friends having fun on the dance floor, because if there was something most people wouldn't expect of him was that he really liked to dance, but he couldn't, he'd never risk accidentally touching someone, so instead he made his way to the opposite side of the room to refill his drink.
He poured himself another glass of Firewhisky and leaned back against the table it wasn't long before he spotted the brown skinned boy, and Merlin what a sight he was. His dark hair looked just a little less messy than usual meaning he tried but failed taming it, his eyes were shining from happiness and his smile was blinding as usual. He was wearing a rich maroon shirt with the two top buttons undone and Regulus felt his knees weakening at the view. The shirt fit him like a glove, hugging all of his muscles perfectly.
Suddenly James turned his head and now he was looking directly at Reg, his grin turned into a smirk and the younger felt his cheeks burning up, he was caught checking Potter out.
He quickly looked away but the damage was already done, and now James Potter was heading his way.
The older boy stopped next to Regulus and without a word filled his glass with more alcohol, then turned around and made himself comfortable imitating the Slytherins position "Are you having fun?"
“I’m having the time of my life, can you tell?” Regulus could handle his alcohol pretty good, and it wasn’t even like he drunk a lot that evening, but something about Potters presence made him feel tipsy.
The older boy laughed out loud and Reg has never heard a more beautiful sound in his whole life, him being the reason of it was making it even better "Why aren't you on the dance floor?"
"I don't like dancing."
"Oh you won't fool me, I see the look in your eyes. I know you want to."
"Since when are you an expert of knowing what I do and do not want Potter?"
"Since quite some time actually." the older laughed again and held out his right hand "Dance with me?"
Regulus felt not only his knees but his whole body weakening this time, he tightened grip on the glass in his left palm, fighting the urge to accept the Gryffindors offer. To his horror he did seriously considered it for a moment, looking at James's red soulmate mark the younger Black tought there would be no harm in touching it with his right hand, right? But something about the idea of touching the older with his 'safe' hand didn't seem right to Regulus, somewhere deep inside him was this strong need to tough the other boys soulmate mark with his own, too try if it's his other half.
But Reg couldn't do that, so instead he said "Piss off Potter. You don't know shit." the hurt look in James's face made younger regret how harsh he was instantly but there was no coming back from that now.
Feeling like he couldn't trust himself around James any longer, without another world the younger pulled from the table wanting to leave.
"I may not know shit but I know one thing for sure." Potter's deep voice made Regulus stop in his tracks "You look absolutely divine tonight."
And with that it was James who left first, leaving Reg too stunned to speak. The words made the warm feeling in his chest come back and Regulus couldn't handle overthinking it again, not right now.
"Oh Reg here you are." fortunately for the younger it was Barty followed by Evan, the two of them were pretty drunk already judging by their looks alone "Merlin Panda's at Dorcas's ass again about talking to that Mckinnon girl, it's so funny."
"It's so fucking annoying, like why can't she just say 'she's your soulmate', why does she need to play these little mind games of hers?" the blonde boy said, mimicking his sister's voice almost perfectly.
Because the thing about Pandora was that she had a gift, of telling when two people are meant to be together and the four of them found it out on the very first school day. Regulus knew both the Rosier siblings and Barty before Hogwarts, he wasn't as close with them as he is now but they meet a couple of times on different occasions on the other hand Evan and Pandora didn't know Barty before and he didn't knew them so it was up to Reg to introduce his only three friends to each other on their first train ride. So he did that and after the four of them found an empty compartment to sit together; Pandora next to her brother, Regulus opposite her and Barty next to him she looked between the two boys facing each other and bluntly announced that the two of them were soulmates. And she was right. Too shocked by the statement they didn't check it out right away, Barty tought it was hilarious and laughed it off as if nothing happened. But after the boys got sorted into Slytherin together and got closer the curiosity got the better of them and eventually they proved Dora was right, they were indeed soulmates.
This was the only time she said it directly, as she grew older Pandora became more subtle at telling people who their soulmate is, with small hints and advice here and there. But she was never once wrong which was fascinating and unsettling at the same time.
"How are the two of you even related?" Barty laughed leaning into his boyfriends arms who in response kissed him on the cheek, usually they weren't this affectionate in public, but the alcohol always turned a switch in them.
"I'm pretty sure she was switched at birth. Anyways, who's ready for shots?"
♡♡♡♡♡
Breakfasts before Quidditch matches always had a specific mood to them, the competing houses wearing all kind of merch since the early hours of morning and everybody being just overall excited and today was no different, maybe just a little bit more insane. It was Gryffindors first match of the season and everybody felt a weird kind of tension caused by the teams captain.
Because it was James’s last year everybody expected him to graduate with a bang; winning the Quidditch and House Cups, ace each one of his N.E.W.T.s. and make a prank so epic everyone will be talking about it for years. It was way to much pressure for one person at least in Regs opinion.
The Head Boy didn’t seem to mind but Regulus has been watching him closely for years now and he caught on the change in his behaviour immediately. Quidditch has always been a big deal for Potter and he had always a strict routine before the matches; wake up at 5 a.m and go for a run (that part the younger never actually saw with his own two eyes but it is what his brother told him), take a shower (that one Regulus didn’t see as well which was a shame really), a full British breakfast with a glass of fresh orange juice and a cup of strong black coffee, a bit more of exercise either on the pitch if it was available or muggle style work out before finally getting ready for the match.
Regulus noticed the change first thing in the morning when be went into the Great Hall and saw James eat an omelet while drinking tea, which was alarming but the younger tried not to think too much of it.
“Reggie wait.” Reg turned around just to see his brother rush after him “Aren’t you going to wish me good luck on the game?”
“You aren’t even on the team.” the younger responded with an eye roll.
“But as Captain’s best friend and biggest supporter I’m basically a honorary member of the team!”
Reg rolled his eyes again, of course his brother would think something like that. “Did you want anything specific or may I go?”
“Yes baby brother I actually wanted to ask if you’d go to the game with me?”
“Why can’t you drag your boyfriend with you?”
“Mooney’s off to some Prefect duty, and Pete’s the commentator for the match, so I thought we could have some quality time as brothers instead!”
And that was something Reg should have expected, he didn’t spend time with his brother in a while and it was just a matter of time before Sirius would approach him with something like this. It wasn’t a bad idea actually, Quidditch was a mutual passion of theirs and a game was a safe space considering none of them would make a big scene in public.
And it would be a good excuse to shamelessly stare at his crush in his tight uniform.
Speaking of said crush James lazily came out of the Great Hall in the company of Lily Evans and Regulus felt sick all of a sudden. Don’t get him wrong, Lily is a great witch the younger Black got to know her a bit thanks to their joint Prefect duties and he has really grown to like her, just something about seeing them together didn’t sit right with him. Call it jealousy, he is just a teenager after all.
“Fine, but I am not wearing anything Gryffindor related.”
Somehow Sirius managed to drag Regulus into the Gryffindor stand, Slytherin was not an option because the older would get hexed within a few minutes, Huffelpuffs were too annoying for Reg and both of them didn’t want to look like they are rooting for Ravenclaw so now the younger had to suffer.
They were an hour into the game, the Golden Snitch nowhere to be seen (actually Regulus has spotted it a few times already but the other Seekers were blind), and the whole game has just been odd.
“What’s his deal today?”
“Huh, who’s?”
“Potter’s.”
Sirius looked at him at him funny “What do you mean?”
“He hasn’t scored one goal.”
“Yeah well, it happens sometimes.”
Sirius focused on the game again, but Regulus couldn’t shake that odd feeling away, like something’s just not right.
“No, there’s something’s strange about him today. Did Evans turn him down again or something?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Everyone knows about Potter’s little crush, don’t try to deny it.”
The Gryffindor bursted out laughing and this time it was the younger who looked at him funny “What?”
“James stopped with that last year, they’re just friends.”
“Oh, I saw them this morning and I thought-“ what did he thought exactly? He wasn’t sure, he felt jealous but he couldn’t say that to his brother.
“Yeah, maybe you don’t pay as much attention as you think you are because if you did, you’d see James has a new crush.”
“Oh-“ Regulus felt his cheeks turning red, he was busted, luckily Sirius’s attention was still on the pitch so he tried to play it cool “Which poor soul is his new victim then?”
“Believe me you’re not ready to hear that.”
A goal scored by the Gryffindor made the older jump from his seat and ended the conversation. The younger brother looked at the pitch again and saw James lifting his hand in victory.
That moment for Regulus he shined brighter than the sun.
♡♡♡♡♡
Regulus never knew how his brother could keep his soulmate a secret from their parents for so long. After all Sirius was a dramatic, over the top person who did everything loud, and nobody would expect that love would be the only thing he did quietly. Maybe he was able to hide it for so long because his soulmate mark wasn't in a very visible place, or maybe it was that he was determinant enough to make it work.
Not many people were aware of his relationship with Remus Lupin let alone that they were soulmates. But Regulus knew how much his brother loved his partner, and keeping it quiet was the most responsible thing to do.
Maybe keeping it a secret was the only way of fighting for it.
But the illusion of a happy ending fell apart on the very first night of Christmas brake, when their parents announced that Sirius will be married off as soon as he graduates. After that all hell broke lose.
And Regulus should have see it coming, he really should. Wasn't that the reason why he hated the concept of soulmates? If it wasn't for his mothers cruel words all that years ago he'd still dream of finding his soulmate. Maybe he'd found them already if he wasn't so afraid of touching everybody?
But none of that mattered right now, he made his peace with never his finding true love. But for his brother? He really wished his brother would have his happily ever after, if there was someone who deserved it, it was Sirius. Even if it meant Regulus couldn't.
So for the first time in his sixteen years of life he tried to fight his parents but it was no use, he was put under the Imperius Curse and ordered to stay in his room until someone came to get him.
So he waited, his mind foggy from the curse but sharp enough for anxiety to get throught. He wasn't sure how much time has passed, he guessed it must have been at least a few hours. A few long, silent hours.
He tried to fall asleep with no effect so when his door finally cracked open he was wide awake and too afraid of even move.
"Reggie?" it was a weak whisper but Regulus recognised his brothers voice immediately "Reggie wake up, we have to go."
"Siri?"
"Come on, we have to get moving, pack a bag."
He finally got up form the bed, the room was dark but he could see his brothers tired face in the faint moon light coming through the window. There were no physical injuries visible which was good, but he was sure their parents hurt him in much worse, magic way.
"What? How? The- the Imperius."
"She said someone didn't specify who, so we should be good. Come on." Sirius didn't wait any longer, he grabbed Regulus’s bag himself and started throwing random things into it.
"But what are we going to do?"
"I- I contacted Prongs. We have that mirror - that's not important right now. He'll be waiting for us but we just gotta get out of the house."
Regulus watched for a few moments how his brother moved around the room, he felt paralysed, anxiety creeping harder than before.
Could it be possible for them to run away? It was for Sirius, he was already seventeen, but Regulus? He was only sixteen, his parents wouldn't let go of him easily for sure. Maybe it was his turn to save his brother this time? Maybe he should just let him run on his own. If he was to stay his parents would still have a heir to fill in so maybe they would leave Sirius alone?
"I'm not leaving you behind Reggie."
Regulus hesitated for a second but seeing his brothers hopeful eyes he couldn't make himself to stay, because if he did he would disappoint his brother. So he nodded taking the bag from the older boys hands and quickly finished packing.
When they finally left the room the real darkness of the house hit them, they tried to make as little noises as possible to not disturb the quiet. It wasn't an exaggeration to say their lives were literary in danger right now. And the old house wasn't making it any easier with the stairs creaking every step they took, and no windows to let at least a bit light in, they somehow managed to make it to the ground floor.
They were almost by the door, almost out, but almost wasn't enough when suddenly all the lights went on and they heard their mothers loud voice.
"Run!"
And Regulus did as his older brother told him. They both ran to the door and were out, tripping over the stairs and their own two feet. Sirius was faster so he lead the way down the road where Regulus could spot three figures waiting for them. Their mothers voice was still chasing them, the sound louder with every second but Regulus didn't dare to look back. They were almost there, close enough that now he could identify the people waiting for them as Potter and his parents, he recognised them form the train station. He saw how Sirius ran straight into the woman's arms, and they disappeared.
Only a few meters were between him and his freedom, him and James when something caught him around the ankles and he felt his body fall forwards. He tried to brake the fall with his hands but it only caused a sharp pain in his left wrist.
At least Sirius is safe he tought, his eyes started to fill with tears he'll have his happy ending.
"Regulus!"
His head snapped up and throught the blurry vision he could see James, Mr. Potter held him back since he tried to run to the Slytherins rescue. The older boy tried to fight, to jerk the man off but his fathers strong embrace didn't allow him to move. On the ground Regulus looked behind, his parents were still coming his way but much slower than he expected, wands still in hands but not aiming anymore.
And Regulus may not be as brave nor daring as a Gryffindor, but something in James's eyes told him he could be, so in a split second he made his decision to not give up.
He stood up as fast as he could and not looking back anymore he started running again. With jiggly legs form the Tripping Jinx he overcome the rest of the way and took James's hand into his own.
Everything went black, he couldn’t breathe and his whole body felt itchy. There was a great pain in his head that made him want to scream but he couldn’t even do that. Somehow through all of that he still could feel James’s touch, which for some twisted reason was comforting.
He wasn’t sure how long it was, could be hours, was probably minutes but slowly it wore off and next he knew he was on solid ground again. It didn’t last long before his legs gave up and he collapsed, vomiting right there.
“I am sorry.” tears rolled down his cheeks while he apologised all over again “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Sirius and Mrs. Potter rushed to his side, he was shivering, panic creeping all over him. The woman disappeared the mess he made with a wave of her wand, his brother held him tightly “It’s ok Reggie. We are safe.”
“Oh darling it’s alright. Are you hurt?” the woman's voice was warm and soft, something in the way Sirius ran straight to her made Regulus trust her enough to let her help him.
“I- my arm.” he sobbed out looking at her.
“Which one darling? Can you show me, so I could check it please?”
He shifted his weight awkwardly, weak legs could barely support him even in a sitting position, but eventually he managed to gather enough energy to rise his injured wrist.
Everything around him faded away, the whole world stopped when his eyes fell on the soulmate mark.
It was pink.
It wasn’t bright red anymore.
It was pink.
Tears filled his eyes again, anxiety overtook his body once more.
No.
No.
No. No. No. No-
He was so careful. He protected it so well. This couldn’t happen to him. No.
His mind raced through all that happened this evening. The fight, the curse, Sirius coming for him, the run, the fall, James.
He took James’s hand.
He finally looked up, eyes focusing on the third boy who stood there with his right hand in the air, looking completely shocked at Regulus.
“I’m sorry.” he started apologising all over again “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry James.”
“I-“
“Not now James please.”
“But-“
“Baby please, you’ll have all the time to talk tomorrow, he needs to rest. Take Sirius to your room, I’ll take care of Regulus.” His mother’s pleading gaze was enough to make him stop arguing.
Everything after that was a blur. After calming the younger down and helping him up Mrs. Potter took him to what Regulus figured must have been a guest room, where he slowly changed into fresh clothes she brought. James’s dad healed the hurting hand while his wife made some tea, which she later made the youngest drink along with a potion.
He stayed silent for the rest of the evening, with everything that happened feeling too much, nothing felt real anymore.
♡♡♡♡♡
The next day Regulus had no intention of leaving the room, call him a coward but he used all his courage yesterday and the thought of seeing James seemed dreadful.
They needed to talk sure, but what was he supposed to say? I’m sorry that I’m your soulmate?
Regulus made peace with never finding his soulmate a long time ago, he never intended to find out their identity so he had no idea how to act right now.
And James, beautiful, kind, lovely James deserves better than someone who wanted to keep their bond away from him.
So no, Regulus didn't plan to leave the room any time soon.
Mrs. Potter (who insisted he calls her Effie) checked on him every hour, bringing food, snacks and tea witch each visit. She asked how he was feeling and tried other small talk but never once pressed him to answer, nor did she ask him to go out.
Sirius came to see him as well, they didn’t talk much, both of them curled on the bed, just cried quietly together like when they were kids.
“Would you have predicted that?” Sirius didn’t need to specify what he meant, clearly looking at the younger boys palm.
“I had a feeling.”
They stayed silent after that, something in his older brothers embrace made Regulus feel safe again, and all that crying wore him out enough to fall asleep again.
It was dark outside, according to the clock hanging above the bed it was already after midnight and figuring everyone’s asleep Regulus decided it would be safe for him to finally leave the room. He desperately needed a shower so after taking a change of clothes Effie provided him with he made his way to the bathroom.
Not wanting to risk waking anyone up he took a way too short in his liking shower, before going back to bed he decided on stopping by the kitchen for a glass of water, since Effie assured him he was more than welcome to feel like home. She also provided him with a description of the house lay out so he had no problem with finding his way there.
What Regulus didn’t expect was for the kitchen to be occupied.
"Oh-" was everything Reg was able to put together seeing James who seemed tired with his hair messier then ever and dark circles under his eyes the younger never saw him looking this miserable.
"You're wearing my clothes."
The two of them stared at each other for a few moments, the air felt heavier with every passing second and Regulus didn't know what else to do "I'll go."
"NO! No please stay. I-" James jumped form his seat, almost knocking out the mug Reg just now noticed the older had in his hands "Would you like some hot chocolate?"
“I’m-“
“Please don’t apologise again. I- We don’t even need to talk, I promise. I-I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, I don’t mind waiting a bit more, just stay, please.”
And that cought the younger off guard enough for him to just nod. He sat by the table, on the opposite side from where the Gryffindor got up from, while the other boy made his way to the kitchen counter. Regulus saw James’s face relaxing, but his muscles were still tense as he moved around the kitchen.
They drank their hot chocolates in silence, and Regulus didn’t say it out loud but James’s one was really better than the first one the younger drank at Madam Puddifoot's Tea.
♡♡♡♡♡
For the rest of the brake it became a tradition, every night Regulus would go to the kitchen to find James already there with two cups of hot chocolate and the most beautiful smile the younger has ever seen.
Some nights they didn’t speak at all, just sat there in quiet, sipping their drinks and holding hands, but more than that the two of them did talk. About everything and nothing.
James told him how everyone thinks he should pursue a career as an Auror or professional Quidditch player, but he’s not sure what he wants to do after graduating just yet. He’d love to take a gap year and travel the world.
In response Regulus expressed how he always thought he would never be allow to have a say in his future, but would love to become a professional Quidditch player.
They talked about Quidditch a lot but also about their favourite foods, animals and colours.
He two of them didn't discuss what they are just yet but when James said a story of how as a kid he used to imagine his happily ever after, slow dancing, picnic dates, stargazing and growing old withq his soulmate, hearing that something broke inside Regulus.
"I always dreamed of my soulmate saving me from the awful house I grew up in like some sort of white knight."
The confession left James speechless. With tears in his eyes he took Regulus's left hand and placed a soft kiss on his faded mark.
None of them needed to say it, but both of them knew what the other was thinking.
And he did.
♡♡♡♡♡
It was early February, Regulus was desperate for some peaceful and quiet place to catch up on his school works so he ditched his friends in favour of going to the library on his own.
After the Christmas events he was rarely left alone. All of his friends as well as Sirius and his friends were fussing over Reg as if he was a baby. It was really annoying (and a bit sweet but he’d never admit it out loud).
He managed to do most of his work by the time he got interrupted “Hi.” And of course it was James with his goofy (beautiful) grin and shiny golden eyes that made Regulus melt.
Over the last month the two boys got a lot closer, but despite the fact that they were soulmates they were not a couple just yet. Regulus wanted to take it slow, still getting used to the fact that he is allowed to be with James and the older was understanding about it, keeping his world and patiently waited for Reg to be ready. It didn’t mean that they avoided each other it was quiet the opposite actually, they spent as much time together as they could which was a bit difficult with James’s exams coming up and Regulus’s friends constantly at his ass, but they were determinant to make it work. They studied together, went for walks, once even sneaked into the astronomy tower to watch stars, James showed the younger all of the hidden places around the school and Regulus loved every second of it.
"What do you want Potter?" he tried to sound harsh but his voice cracked betraying him.
"I was wondering if you're free Sunday afternoon."
"Are you asking me out Potter?" he asked with a smirk, having a Déjà Vu.
“Yes I am Black.” the Gryffindor smiled shyly taking Regulus’s hand into his own “You see, it is Valentine’s Day on Sunday and I thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to take my soulmate for our first date?”
Reg will never get used to seeing James Potter being shy and him being the reason for the Quidditch captain shyness will always be flattering for sure.
“That’s too sappy even for you Jamie.”
“You called ma Jamie, so it must be a yes!” and he was right of course but Regulus couldn’t hold back the eye roll at the boys ridiculous way of thinking “Please say it is a yes.”
“Yes, I am free on Sunday and yes I will go on a date with you.”
“Oh awesome, meet me at the Entrance Hall? Or no, never mind, I’ll pick you up from the Dungeons at noon. I’ll be the best date in your life I promise.”
And Regulus knew it would be, because it was James, no matter what they’ll do it will be amazing