The Oblivious Leading the Oblivious

James was wearing a giddy smile as he sat opposite Lily at the dinner table and this time she didn’t even attempt to contain hers as she allowed a mirroring smile to stretch across her face.

Despite the apparent bumps in their operation (which Lily had to stop herself from throttling James over when he reported back to her on how his aspect of the plan had gone) it seems to have been a success and now the pair couldn’t help but revel in their success.

Whilst there had been no confessions, Sirius and Remus seemed to have settled into their feelings better with much less defensiveness (Remus) or solely fantastical yearning (Sirius) whenever the other was mentioned. It warmed Lily immeasurably when she casually mentioned wanting a helix piercing like Sirius had gotten recently and instead of responding with a curt insistence on indifference, a fond smile graced Remus’ features as he affirmed that he really liked Sirius’.

Of course it seems that perhaps Sirius will never unlearn his intense desire for Remus and that in itself is not an issue, in actuality it is very endearing. What is an issue is when this desire becomes hopeless yearning and Sirius refuses to face any of the solid facts that prove his feelings are requited, opting to form a fantasy when he could have the reality right in front of him if he only let down his barriers enough to catch a glimpse of the truth.

Yet James had informed Lily that when Sirius had been in one of his restless moods and James suggested that perhaps a walk round the lake with Remus would help, his usual faraway wistfulness was replaced with eyes shining clearly with adoration yet unclouded by fantasy and he simply nodded agreeing with tenderness that it was a good idea as Remus was always so patient with him when he was in one of his moods.

That’s all Lily could ask for really, for her friends to be happy, for them to open themselves up to happiness. She looks round the table now basking in the feeling.

Lily loves to complain about how annoying the four boys can be, with their level of codependency being somewhat concerning. Yet the more time she spends with them she can’t help but admire them for it, the extent to which their dedication to one another reaches and their unfailing ability to be there when they are needed. Currently Peter is relaying to the other three boys about some trouble he is having with one of his herbology projects, the boy being much more skilled in this area than his friends, in fact Lily is not too certain the others know anything about the topic Peter is speaking on, and yet they are listening to him intently with reassurances that they will help him fix it. Lily watches as Peter visibly calms from their support and finds herself feeling grateful to know such caring souls.

Lily then turns to her right where Marlene had just launched into assigning everyone what biscuit they would be, Marlene proudly appointing herself as a Jammie dodger which has Mary countering she can’t just give herself that one because it’s her favourite. And the entire conversation is being carried out with a level of seriousness far too severe for such a trivial matter but she loves it. Loves being around these people who she can turn to always, whether to laugh or cry with, they will be there for her and she has no doubt of that.

Amusedly Lily notices that while Mary and Marlene are having this ridiculous debate they are making breakfast for the other without paying attention to it, as though they know the other so well their body moves without the mind making the active decision to do so. Marlene absentmindedly adding the exact amount of milk and sugar to Mary’s tea before passing it over at the same time Mary passes a neatly jammed slice of toast (working to get it before Remus has it in his grasps).  Although the two girls are bickering it contrasts to the lightness of their touch as they brush their hands against the other in a silent thank you.

As she looks back across from her she finds her eyes immediately locking with James’ as though he was already looking in this direction, with an inscrutable expression on his face.

*

“So you look through the little square here and then when you’re ready to take the picture you press that bu-” the flash goes off right in Lily’s face as she is leaning forward to explain to James how muggle camera’s work. “As I was saying when you’re ready to take the picture you press that button” she looks down at him eyebrow raised and hands on hip in an effort to project exasperation which is undermined when she has to press her lips together to prevent a full smile blooming as James looks back at her with his big brown doe eyes and lopsided apologetic smile.

A lot of purebloods had such miniscule knowledge on anything muggle it bewildered Lily so much, of course she could appreciate that magic made most things a lot easier but there was a certain kind of magic she felt that always ran through muggle inventions that shouldn’t be ignored. The idea that someone worked tirelessly to make an idea they had a reality, doing all the research, finding all the materials, putting it all together in such a specific manner to create something that feels as though it should be impossible to make from the ordinariness of the materials found in the muggle world.

Purebloods often didn’t want to consider this alternative from of magic, they saw it as inferior and unworthy of their time. Which is why James’ interest has shocked her so much. She knew he would not have the reaction most do simply because of who he is, she is noticing more and more how tirelessly he works to ensure those around him feel appreciated and heard. Meaning she perhaps expected him to listen to her talk about muggle things with polite indifference. What she wasn’t prepared for was the level of curiosity and enthusiasm he displayed.

Lily explained to him about the topics muggles learnt at school and his attentiveness felt so comforting. Lily had enjoyed attending a non-magical primary school and at times missed the lessons she would do there even all these years later and with the magnitude of brilliance she experienced through Hogwarts. Petunia barely ever spoke to her at home beyond telling her dinner was ready or that she was taking something of hers. It hurt. Immeasurably so. That unique love that can only be felt from a sister being brutally pried out of her grip.

Sometimes she gets angry at her infantile self who had experienced her sisters love without even a consideration she would ever go without it, without painstakingly engraving every moment into her memory so she could watch it back and feel an ounce of what she felt in those moments.

That was one of their things when they were younger, science. Lily had always had this thirst for knowledge which petunia had always lacked. But not when it came to science. They would spend their weekends collecting different rocks or leaves to inspect and evenings making what they perceived to be groundbreaking creations, naming them “The Evans’ Epic Inventions” not the most creative but it filled them with pride and that’s all that mattered.

James didn’t understand much of this, in fact he didn’t understand anything about it. Both in regards to the workings or science, or the pain that can only be inflicted by an estranged sibling, or how this disconnect from her muggle childhood meant a loss of part of who she was. How all the time she spent neglecting that part of her she was neglecting herself.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know because he cared. He cared in a way that seemed he was not simply doing it to appease Lily but rather was affected by the passion she had for the topic and wanted to be part of that in any way he could.

Sometimes it was simply listening. Lily loved to explain the inexplainable, let her mind run away with processes. She’d missed getting to talk about these things, and James’ reactions only encouraged her more. Whether it was a simple affirming nod or hums of interest, she felt his constant presence as a soothing weight cast over her.

Other times he displayed such open inquisitiveness. Questions and eager responses. The questions were often so simple in nature, things she’d learnt as a child. Yet it didn’t matter, she found herself getting lost in this bubble they created, a sphere blocking out anything else so they could simply exist in this realm of fun and possibilities.

James was never worried about sounding stupid or seeming overly-excited, it was beautiful. Lily liked to think of herself as a self-assured person and ultimately she was, she never let others dictate who she was or what she did. But there was a difference between not allowing others to change her and not letting others perceptions raise a storm in her mind of insecurity and fear of judgement.

Whilst Lily is aware James is not untouchable, a fact that she’s found herself feeling the need to remind James that that’s the truth and that’s ok, the way he carries himself still inspired her to try more forcefully to dispel these weights of pressure that often burden her to be perfect in every way she can be.

James was being that comforting constant to her now, whether he realised or not, as they sat under a tree basking in the warm sun, teaching him how to work a muggle camera.

Lily had become somewhat enthralled with using polaroid pictures as bookmarks and James had noticed one time, with a picture of her, Mary and Marlene from when they had gone to the beach one summer holiday. It was one of Lily’s favourites, with the picture capturing such a wonderfully peaceful moment of them all grinning big smiles at the camera as the wind whipped their hair and they squinted against the blazing sun.

Lily wasn’t sure how long James had been holding it for when she glanced up at him startling him as she spoke mentioning that it was a muggle photograph and that was why it wasn’t moving. Her comment prompted James to draw his attention back to the photo and it seemed as though he only just then realised that it hadn’t moved the way all the other pictures he was used to did. Then his expression was invaded by one of raw curiosity as he stumbled into a multitude of questions about how it worked, how interesting it was and how he “just must have one of his own.”

Lily looked at him fondly as James held the polaroid picture in his hands like it was a rare treasure eyes wide as though if he blinked the development of the picture would be ruined.

“Some people say shaking it helps it to develop faster” Lily informs him.

“No way, it just keeps getting better and better” he responds to Lily, elation filling his face comparable to that of a child on Christmas day.

Over the weeks they have spent together what started as genuine exasperation transformed into feigned exasperation, yet now as she is enveloped by James’ exhilarated energy she can’t even find it in herself to feign distaste because who in their right mind could do anything but attempt to preserve James’ happiness.

They sit in companionable silence, with James vigorously shaking the Polaroid all the while, until it eventually developed.

“Oh this is brilliant” James chuckled, clearly very pleased with himself. Lily rolled her eyes but shuffled closer to inspect the picture herself.

“Hand that over right now” Lily gasps as she looks at the picture that consists of a rather horrifying close up of her face.

“Never, I’m going to treasure it forever. And what an honour it should feel for you to be the subject of my very first paused picture” James taunted giggling maniacally. Paused picture only James would come up with such a bizarre yet entirely accurate name.

He tucked it his pocket before Lily could protest, then went back to taking various pictures seemingly entranced by the contraption, muttering to himself all the while.

Lily decided to leave him to his amusements. Stretching her legs out and leaning her head back with her eyes closed, bathing in the warm sun and lyrical sounds of life around them. She eventually moved to open her eyes again and when she did it was to catch James in the midst of taking another picture of her. He seemed uncharacteristically flustered at being caught.

“Sorry you just looked kind of magical with the sun shining down on you like that I couldn’t help but want to make the scene permeant” Lily felt her cheeks darken at his words, but they were just so lovely it couldn’t be helped.

She tried to compose herself before speaking again “well I suppose you need a nicer one to make up for the one you insisted on keeping.”

“Ah yes a nice documentation of the duality of Lily” Lily huffed out a laugh in response.

She contemplated James for a second and found herself speaking again without making the conscious decision to. “It’s only fair that I have one of you too” Lily thought he had earned it after all their shared time over the past few weeks, the endless smiles and laughter he had bought out of her, the immense comfort that hadn’t left her since.

“Oh Lily I thought you’d never ask” he sighed dramatically. Then they continued to spend the next few minutes trying to come up with the most interesting poses ranging from an angled picture that made it seem the tree was coming out of James’ head to a precariously timed picture of Lily mid cartwheel.

The pair laid next to each other on their stomachs excitedly waiting to see if their attempts were a success. For added dramatic effect James insisted on turning it over while it developed and a drumroll for the big reveal.

They turned it over absolutely thrilled to find it was in fact a success, letting out pleased yelps and meeting one another in a high five in a manor that would’ve seemed something much more drastic than a cartwheel picture had taken place.

It was added to their collection they had built up over the afternoon, Lily gazing over them all, an absentminded grin adorning her face as she took each one in. Interrupted by a gentle nudge of James’ shoulder against her own.

“Let’s take one together” he suggested, and so they did. With the afternoon sun casting them in a vibrant glow, leaves decorating the background, and matching smiles as they leaned into one another slightly as the snapshot of the camera went off.

When it developed Lily was taken aback for a moment and the fondness that washed over her as she took in the picture. There was just so much something emanating from the picture. Warmth, comfort, happiness, l-

“Moony!” came the unmistakable sound of Sirius, a laughing lilt in his tone.

Both Lily and James snapped their heads up first to look at each other then in the direction the sound was coming from. The other two boys were certainly near, yet their view obstructed by a bush Lily and James had ended up sat behind after Lily expressed her tendency for getting sunburnt.

In an instant James was up once again taking on this spy persona. Crouching low to the ground attempting the mouth nonsense to Lily and using hand signals she couldn’t possibly understand. This time he even went as far as diving into a dramatic forward roll, startling a laugh out of Lily.

They both froze looking at each other with alarmed eyes both trying desperately to hold in their laughter. It reminded Lily of the first time they found themselves in a situation like this, back in the library. Back when James was just a friend of a friend and not someone she’d grown to find such affection for.

Giving in to the bit, Lily joined James crouching down low and drawing closer to the bush. James made another attempt at a series of frantic hand gestures and mouthing words. Lily looked at him blankly waiting for him to finish before she spoke.

“You’re going to need to translate that for me” she whispered raising an eyebrow.

“Let’s go through here” Lily struggled to comprehend how all those movements amounted to such a short sentence but decided it best to simply accept it and move on.

“You want to go through the bush?” James nodded affirmatively.

“And why would we do that when we could just peak round the corner?” Lily questioned.

“For the drama, for the thrill” James responded as though it was obvious and Lily realised perhaps this is what always gets them caught when James or Sirius are the ones in charge of their pranks.

“Good luck with that” Lily spoke completely unpersuaded by his statement, patting him on the back as she moved to look round the outside whilst James insisted on going through the bush.

The moment Lily peaked round the corner it was evident that Remus and Sirius were much closer than they had originally accounted for and now had all their attention focused on the fact that the bush was shaking quite substantially.

Sirius yelped and jumped behind Remus, which earned him an incredulous look from Remus that clearly said really?

Sirius gestured to the bush with a look of horror on his face encouraging Remus to get a closer look. “Not very Gryffindor, rock n roll of you” Remus mutters.

“Hey! There could be anything in there I’m well within my right to be concerned” Sirius retorts in a defensive whisper, because of course no matter how much love the two share they haven’t been able to help their trivial bickering since they first met. If anything Lily thinks it makes them even more perfect for each other, quarrelling like an old married couple.

Remus rolls his eyes but reaches forward to separate the branches of the bush while Sirius peers cautiously over his shoulder.

“Prongs?!” they screech in unison, Sirius reaching to pull James out. Who stumbled out with a sheepish grin and a variety of leaves and twigs poking out of his wild mane of hair. It’s such a ridiculous situation Lily can’t contain her laughter anymore, which startles Remus and Sirius yet again, causing her to laugh even harder.

“All three of you are ridiculous” she exclaims trying to catch her breath.

“We’re ridiculous?! You guys are the ones creeping around in bushes” Sirius exclaims not yet letting go of his grip on Remus’ arm which either they haven’t noticed or they’re choosing to ignore it.

“Yeah what on earth are you guys doing?” Remus adds, much more calmly than Sirius.

Lily does not enjoy being caught off guard or in situations where she is out of control or out of her depths. Which is why she makes a habit of remaining organised and always preparing for potential outcomes in advance.

Yet in the short amount of time that they made their decision to spy on their two best friends via a bush, Lily had not quite had the time to prepare for potential excuses or reasoning they could provide upon the chance they may get caught.

She walks over to James and looks at him widening her eyes in a signal for him to come up with an excuse, he in return grimaces slightly inclining his head in a gesture for her to explain. She can feel Remus and Sirius observing the exchange with faint amusement. Lily raises her eyebrows as she crosses her arms, deciding she is in fact not taking responsibility for this mishap when James was the one who decided to go through the bush instead of around. James seemed to accept his fate quickly, becoming increasingly accustomed to Lily’s stubbornness.

She almost felt bad for James as he floundered to explain until his panic was slowly replaced with his signature grin and she watched that spark in his eyes he gets when he’s just had a terrible idea.

“Honestly I think you guys need to just leaf us alone” so he’s going for the defensive approach, Lily doesn’t exactly think this will make them seem any less suspicious but she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Remus looks at him incredulously “did you just say leaf instead of leave?”

“I would never make such acorn-y joke” James gasps in fake mortification. Lily would like to feel disappointed in him, but honestly it’s doing the job of distracting them and she’s actually rather impressed by his on the spot creativity, so she simply watches the scene unfold, intrigued by how many more he can come up with. 

“James-” Remus tries again, but Lily knows that face and can tell there’s amusement there. Sirius is doing a much worse job at hiding how much he’s enjoying it.

“No really I’ve just never personally branched out into those kind of jokes before” that one gets even a laugh out of Remus.

“Have you two been down at the greenhouses or something?” Sirius questions bemused.

“You’re barking up the wrong tree making such accusations” this has Sirius and Remus laughing fully now, Lily isn’t quite sure what it was about this specific one that set them off so much but Lily is enjoying it all regardless. Enjoying witnessing first hand the contagious laughter that is possible thanks to a certain James Potter.

Lily can’t help herself but join in “James I’m going to need you to stop” she starts sternly, trying her best to sound unimpressed and fed up. It seems to work based off the way James’ smile falls from his face as he turns to her. She realises in that moment she never wants to be the cause for James’ loss of smile because what a tragedy it is. Which is why she rushes to add “I’m sycamore puns.”

The smile returns to his face with renewed energy and he lets out a surprised laugh.

“Lily not you too” Sirius laughs.

“Don’t worry cedar some good ones left” James adds getting far too carried away with the puns. He ends up having to lean an arm on Lily’s shoulder to stable himself as not to fall over from laughing so much. It’s as he does this she realises just how many leaves and branches have found their way into his hair. She starts carefully trying to manoeuvre as many as possible whilst James’ chuckles subside.

“Well we’ll leave you guys to… whatever it is that you’re doing” Sirius comments from where he’s leaning up against Remus’ side. Lily can't help but notice how perfect they look together, as though there is no world where they do not exist by one another’s side. Interestingly they are both watching her and James with a particular expression that she does not understand, but regardless they wave goodbye walking their own way.

“Tree puns James really?” Lily asks yet where she was trying for bewilderment it came out sounding doting, which in fairness is more accurate to how she was currently feeling.

“It worked didn’t it?” James responds pleased.

They both turn to look at the two departing. Remus is walking leisurely whilst Sirius walks backwards so he can face him making hyperbolic arm movements, a massive grin on his face, and when Remus turns his face to the side for a moment the same grin is reflected on Remus’ face and he seems to have given in to Sirius’ infectious enthusiasm. They really do complement each other so magnificently. Remus with his ability to ground Sirius, and Sirius with his ability to draw Remus out of his mind.

“They’re soulmates” James sighed wistfully.

“They really are” Lily agreed, still absentmindedly plucking foliage from James’ hair.

“Wow never though I’d see the day Lily Evans turned into a hopeless romantic” James turned to meet her eyes and it became suddenly apparent how close they were as she carded her hands deftly through his hair.

“It looks like you’ve finally got to me, James” Lily spoke more quietly, almost worried to shatter their bubble.

“What ever will we do?” James responded, matching her tone and wearing his smile that could heal any wound. Lily felt something in her heart stutter, it was probably nothing.

*

“This might just be it. The showstopper. The pièce de résistance if you will” James declared with a dramatic flourish of his arms. They were sat in the common room plotting their next part of the plan before their friends came down to go to Hogsmeade together.

“James, I’m just as excited as you are. But let’s remember we’re talking about a Hogsmeade date here” Lily provided. They’d made excellent progress so far and were ambitious enough to hope that perhaps their two best friends would have been pushed enough at this point to complete the last part themselves; The Date.

Clearly they had forgot who exactly they were dealing with and as the time went by and there were no further implications of a date forming, James and Lily once again took things into their own hands. One could not simply ask them out on a date on the others behalf, however, which is what led to their brilliant plan of tricking them into a date.

“Not just any old Hogsmeade date. The Hogsmeade date to end all Hogsmeade dates, one that will be spoke about for years to come, that will finalise the love between them. In fact I’ll get ready to write this into my best man speech immediately.”

Lily’s smile faltered slightly. Hogwarts carried a general acceptance for queer relationships, asides from a few Slytherins who carried a general hatred towards everything. It was something Lily was grateful for, something that she had not been used to growing up with her muggle family who were against anything and anyone who held any kind of differences. This general acceptance in Hogwarts, however, did not follow through into wizarding law with same-sex marriage still being illegal. A fact that both bewildered and infuriated Lily. Because she knew these two people, who were destined for one another, who made her believe in soulmates and true love, who deserved more than anyone to celebrate this love with one another and their loved ones. Yet they were not allowed.

James must have picked up on her change in mood at his words because he confidently assured “I’m going to legalise it.”

It was a silly notion really, coming from someone who was not yet even an adult, who as far as Lily was aware did not have much of an interest in politics, without the power to make real change. And yet if there was anyone who would make it happen by sheer force of will and belief in love then it would be James Potter.

They went back to their scheming and began discussing how exactly they could construe the situation in a way that ensured Sirius and Remus could get their date alone.

“Mary and Marlene told me they were going to walk with us, but if it was alright had something they needed to go off and get by themselves once we got there” Lily had assured them it was fine partially because it helped ensure Sirius and Remus’ alone time but also because she was never one to be jealous of any time the two spent together.

Although she had been growing increasingly concerned lately. The three girls had always been close. Mary and Marlene had a slightly different friendship but never in a way that left Lily out, and Remus got Lily in a way that no one else did but that never affected just how much she valued Mary and Marlene’s involvement in her life.

Yet lately she was feeling some kind of distance. Not physically, more emotionally. Like the indestructible string that bound them together was being pulled taught, causing a pit to grow in Lily’s stomach at the thought of it possibly snapping. They still spent much of their time together and they still spoke relentlessly about anything and everything. But maybe it wasn’t everything anymore. Because with increasing frequency there would be moments where Lily could tell Mary and Marlene were holding back. She had asked them and they assured her it was fine.

Lily didn’t want to make a problem out of nothing and yet she decided she was going to make it more clear just how much she adores them both and was there for anything they may need her for.

Lily was startled out of her thoughts by James, “so we just need to make sure Peter isn’t with them.”

They pondered silently for a moment. If James led the action of parting from Remus and Sirius there’s a chance Peter would comply. However, Lily has noticed just how much Peter enjoys all his friends being together, it’s really rather sweet, and so there’s a chance he may suggest they all just go to the places they need to together.

“I mean we could trust to tell him our plan” Lily spoke aloud.

“I don’t know… I think we should try just getting him to come with us first” James countered, which is probably the safest option. While Sirius and Remus have progressed there is no way of knowing how they would react to their plan without having solidified their relationship first.

“Maybe something to do with quidditch you would want to show him” Lily put forward.

“Sirius would want to see that” James conceded. “Taking Peter to get his favourite sweet?”

“Remus would want to see that” Lily pointed out.

They let out synchronised huffs of frustration before making as best attempts as they could and configuring a list of excuses they would try that would get Sirius and Remus their Hogsmeade date to end all Hogsmeade dates, as James so eloquently put it.

*

Soon after the rest of their friends joined them in the common room. Sirius can, unsurprisingly, be heard from the moment the boys’ dorm room door opens.

“Absolutely not, I will not accept this” Sirius strops, stomping down the stairs like a child. Peter follows closely behind, shaking his head with amused exasperation.

“Hey Prongs settle something for us yeah?” Lily immediately knows this is a bad idea. James is a people pleaser, particularly when it comes to ensuring his friends’ happiness, and so if this is a question in which the outcome will inevitably displease one of his friends James might just malfunction.

“Who’s better at keeping a secret, me or Pete?” Lily watches with amusement as James’ eyes widen, looking between his two friends who are both looking at him expectantly.

“You’re both good at keeping secrets” James attempts to appease.

“Yeah but who is better at it” Peter reminds.

“I mean- erm- maybe-” James splutters in response yet is saved from Marlene and Mary each taking one of Lily’s hands in theirs and pulling her up from where she is sitting on the sofa.

“Lets go so we can beat the rush” Mary comments.

“Yes, lets” James agrees clearly very keen on taking his out of the question, but because Lily finds Sirius’ dramatics hilarious she takes on an air of nonchalance as she speaks.

“I’d chose Peter to be my secret keeper over Sirius any day” before briskly walking ahead with Mary and Marlene, to cries of outrage from Sirius.

“Just you wait Evans, you will rue the day you ever said such a thing!” she rolls her eyes at his dramatics.

The walk to Hogsmeade fills Lily with a sense of peace and comfort. The sun is shining but there’s a steady breeze that removes any stifling humidity. The flowers along the path have just started to bloom and she stops every few minutes to admire and breathe them in. At one point she sees the most beautiful tulips she has ever seen, with a burning orange-red that fuses into a lively yellow. Perhaps it is a silly notion but she feels some kind of connection to the flowers, like they drew her in to hold a mirror to her and reflect precisely how she feels. The vibrancy of the happiness she has been feeling represented in their image. She lingers for a moment more before returning to her friends.

When they eventually reach their destination, Mary and Marlene immediately excuse themselves with a promise to meet them back there later to walk back together. Leaving hand in hand with matching smiles adorning their faces.

“We’ll be off now too, come on Peter” Remus speaks, already turning with a hand on Peter’s shoulder to guide him along.

“I think Peter was going to come with us” Lily interrupts, hoping desperately that no questions of why are put forth and instead Remus hands him over without argument. Remus had got in there so quickly Lily and James hadn’t even had a chance to enact any of their poor excuses.

“I don’t think he was” Sirius contributes a bright smile on his face that seems rather strained.

“Yes he was, I wanted to see the chess…” James pauses seeming to realise he has absolutely no knowledge of chess terminology “… thing.”

“You what?” Peter pipes up, confusion embedded in his features.

“Well I guess you’ll have to do that another time because I need to see the chess…” Sirius also paused evidently sharing a lack of knowledge for chess “… thing, like immediately” Remus begins nodding frantically in agreement.

“I’ve been trying to get you guys into chess for six years where has this sudden interest come from?” Peter asks baffled.

“I can assure you I’ll be a much better chess student, for starters I actually know the names of the pieces, I really just need to know which set to buy, so if you could-” Lily tried before being interrupted.

“It will be really quick if you just-”

“We desperately need your expertise-”

“I’ll pay for your chess thing as compensation for your struggles” Lily looks over at Sirius eyebrow raised in what she hopes conveys bribery? Really? Sirius shrugs abashedly in response and for the first time she pauses to wonder why Remus and Sirius are trying so desperately to get Peter away from them until Peter draws their attention again.

“Look I appreciate all your sudden… enthusiasm” he looks sceptically at them all, which Lily really doesn’t blame him for given their bizarre behaviour “but I already agreed to meet Hestia and Edgar to stock up on herbology supplies for our current project. I would cancel given how… urgent” he pauses again still in the depths of befuddlement “your guys’… situations seem, but if I don’t get these supplies now the plant has a 50/50 chance of either exploding or continuously singing opera.”

Well, Lily can’t help but feel rather embarrassed by their outburst given that Peter had it solved all along.

“Of course you go on”

“Its alright mate have fun”

“We’ll see you later”

They all chorused, encouraging Peter on, which only seems to heighten his confusion.

As he leaves he turns one last time to add “also I think you guys have got chess mixed up with something else because it certainly doesn’t require whatever you think it is that needs a multitude of opinions to go shopping for… chess things.”

Poor Peter, Lily thinks as he trudges off with a few cautious glances back to them as though he’s afraid they are going to pounce on him at any moment demanding chess advice. She makes a note to apologise to him once their plan has been successfully completed.

She is startled as she feels hands round her shoulders pushing her forward, it’s Remus. She makes no effort to stop him despite her confusion. Instead she looks to the side to see James being pushed forward by Sirius.

“Pads what are you doing?” James asks, shrugging out of Sirius’ grasp.

“Just moving you on your way” he chirps cheerfully “we will meet you guys back here later on, have fun.”

Lily stands there in shock for a moment. All of this stressing about how they would get the two boys by themselves and it has all been done for them, perhaps the universe really is working in their favour. Remus is also looking at them with a pleased smile that stutters slightly when Sirius reaches for his hand to pull him away. Remus normally works very hard to conceal his feelings, particularly for Sirius, with Lily only being able to pick up on them because she knows him so well. Yet the shock of the touch seems to have rendered Remus’ barriers redundant, and anyone with a brain would take one look at Remus now and be able to deduct the look on his face was pure infatuation. The two traipse off, Sirius completely oblivious to the love coursing off of Remus as he trails behind him like a love-sick puppy.

“Bloody brilliant” James comments shaking his head in disbelief, sharing Lily’s astonishment at how easy their plan had been made for them.   

It seemed important for Lily to understand why it had been made so easy. Could it be that Remus and Sirius had become more open to their feelings and could be honest both with themselves and others about their feelings? Far too optimistic of a prospect, and they had been wanting to keep Peter with them which rules out that option. So the aim was to have Lily and James by themselves. But why?

James clears his throat purposefully, causing Lily to look over at him. He has his arm bent out to her in offering, an eyebrow playfully raised.

“You’re ridiculous” and yet she takes his arm in hers, linking them together. She likes it. A lot. Being this close to James, feeling the comfort of his presence next to her. They begin their wander around Hogsmeade, no particular destination in mind, simply enjoying the others company, and Lily is gradually becoming obsessed with being attached to James like this.

How their proximity means that when he laughs she almost feels as though it reaches the depths of her soul lighting her up further, or how when he gets particularly carried away with talking about something he begins gesticulating wildly, a common occurrence Lily has grown accustomed to but whereas she is normally observing it from afar she feels the movements as he makes them. The first time it happened she went to drop her arm, taking it as a cue that James needed his space to express himself to his full extent, yet James reached out with his other hand and rested it against her arm in a clear signal to keep her arm there muttering a quick “sorry” that he had jolted her before returning to the story.

Up close like this Lily could really appreciate the deep brown of his eyes and the way they conveyed everything he felt with such clarity, the way his grin was slightly lop sided in the most endearing way, that he had small lines around his mouth and eyes as a result of his ever present smile and laughter, as though even when he wasn’t smiling the joy he released into the world around him was so powerful it left a mark. He had a dimple in his chin that Lily felt an increasing urge to reach out and touch.

What was happening? What was she doing? Why was she thinking like this?

She suddenly felt like she was somehow infringing on James’ privacy studying him this way, observing the small parts of him that most people wouldn’t get to witness or experience, that she perhaps shouldn’t be. She didn’t let go of his arm, not quite able to tear herself away, yet she did shake her head slightly in an attempt to rid herself of this brewing storm of thoughts about James, instead choosing to focus solely on the words he spoke and not the way their arms seemed to fit into one another perfectly.

Desperately she looked around for a distraction so she didn’t have to address with herself whatever that was and realised with a start they were outside Madam Puddifoots. Lily stopped abruptly pulling James to a halt with her.

She gasped as she peered into the display window “no way!” she shrieked.

“What?” James asked shocked by Lily’s sudden outburst but also wearing an amused smile.

“They have pineapple upside down cake, I’ve never seen that anywhere that isn’t muggle before. Sorry James but I have to have some you can wait out here if you want it shouldn’t take too long.”

James looked at her perplexed “why don’t we just go sit inside? I have nowhere I particularly need to go so I’m happy to spend a bit of time eating.”

Lily finally pulled her eyes away from the absolute beauty of a cake and took in the earnestness of James’ expression. Did he not know? Madam Puddifoots was renowned for being a date spot and widely detested by the male population at Hogwarts for its pink and frilly design. The more she ponders the more it occurs to her that James does not seem like the type to be revolted by such trivial things but as much as she is beginning to feel as though James is something extraordinary she must remind herself that ultimately he is still a teenage boy and so feels the need to point out the facts to him before he commits to entering the shop.

“You don’t mind going in? Some people are rather horrified by the place, I’ve heard a direct quote that it looks like ‘a flamingo vomited sprinkles all over it and finished it off with a bow’” Lily informed, to which James burst out laughing.

“No I am not anti-pink, in fact red is my favourite colour” a fact Lily and probably everyone who has ever come into contact with James would be aware of “and really pink is just a variation of red so what’s not to like. Besides I’m entirely too intrigued by this pineapple inside out cake now” Lily let out a small giggle at his misnaming of the cake and yet felt that same tug of gratitude in her stomach again for James Potter. For living with such freedom and joy, always open to anything and ready to support his friends in whatever they desired.

They went into the shop finding a table. Immediately they were bombarded with so many public displays of affection Lily felt she had to avert her eyes to the floor, and so she purposefully marched towards one of the more secluded tables in the corner in hopes it would block out the rather profane scenes she was currently being subjected to. Belatedly after being thrown a wink by one of the other tables, she realised most people who went for these tables did so to have more privacy to eat each others faces off, and Lily couldn’t help but blush at the implication.

Soon they had settled down each with menus, James procuring a tea recommendation as requested from Lily as he was amazed to find the multitude of different tea flavours that were offered there.

“No way!” Lily shrieked again.

“Ooo I know what that means, what cake have you seen?” James leaned forward conspiratorially.

“Black forest gateau, James, black forest gateau. I would sell my first born child to have black forest gateau every day for the rest of my life.”

“Now, now, we can’t have that. I’ll just have to get it and you can get your pineapple back to front cake, then everyone’s happy and no children are being sold” James finished leaning back with his arms out open in front of him as though he had just solved all the world’s problems. And so that’s what they do.

When their cakes and tea arrive they both stare in awe at them for a moment and Lily is very pleased James is just as appreciative of how magnificent they look.

Lily immediately picks up a fork and digs into the pineapple cake, as she tastes it she lets out a contented hum and can’t help the little dance she does because it tastes even better than she remembers. When she opens her eyes James is looking at her with an expression she doesn’t understand what it means but one she is enchanted by, it’s so unbelievably soft and almost glowing it takes her breath away. After a moment she remembers herself and plucks James’ fork out of his hand.

“You have to make sure you get the right proportions of pineapple and sponge, sorry but as the amateur that you are I just can’t trust you to get that right” causing James’ grin to bloom on his face once again.

“Of course don’t let interrupt the cake connoisseur, do your thing” he concedes hands raised in surrender.

Lily constructs the perfect bite before passing it back to James and watching him expectantly.

“Mmm this is nice” he says as soon as he tastes it but Lily can tell this is just the response he would provide to anyone who gave him anything because he is too nice to want to disappoint anyone in any way even if that is something as ridiculous as not liking a cake they like, so she waits a moment longer for his real reaction. “Oh wow this is really nice, no not nice that doesn’t encapsulate the true brilliance that this is. How have I lived so long without this in my life?” Lily leans back with a smug grin, very pleased by his reaction.

He goes to go for another bite but Lily pushes the plate away with a mock scold and a waggle of her finger “uh-uh now you have to try this one” James nods sincerely in hyperbolic understanding of the seriousness of the process. This time they both take a bite at the same time.

“What on earth do they put in these, they’re like literal magic” James comments around a mouthful and Lily claps in delight both at the taste and James’ shared appreciation.

Next it’s time to taste the tea. Lily had recommended to James the kiwi and lime, being a huge fan of fruit teas herself. She watches James closely, becoming entranced by all his reactions. He lifted the cup to his face smelling it first and inspecting the contents and Lily had to bite back a grin at the foolishness of him taking it so seriously.

Then he takes a sip and his features curl in disgust, yet only for a moment before he puts on a weak smile and musters an entirely unconvincing “mm really yum.” Lily bursts out laughing unable to hold it back any longer at the image of James trying his best to conceal his grimace.

“James you’re allowed to not like it you know, it’s not like I was the one who made the tea” Lily got out in between bouts of laughter.

Her laughter had seemed to spread to James as he let out “oh good because that is horrific I never want that anywhere near me again”

Lily let out a gasp “oh merlin Madam Puddifoot is behind you she’s just heard you slating her tea” at this James blanched, snapping his head around to discover she wasn’t there which only made Lily laugh harder, at one point even letting out a snort. She covered her mouth in horror eyes meeting James’ before they both broke into laughter again.

“You, Lily Evans, are a menace” James manages to get out pointing a finger at her.

The rest of their time there goes much the same way; good cake and laughter. They bounce from topic to topic with no cohesion as to how they reach each one. Sometimes it has them at loss of breath from laughter and others it has them listening intently allowing the other the room to say whatever they need to say.

Throughout this they continue devouring each cake. James realises he likes the flavour of cherries but not the texture so he absentmindedly moves them to Lily’s plate throughout the course of their conversation and it reminds Lily of the way Sirius always puts his unwanted pizza toppings on Remus’ which he accepts without ever having to say a word.

At some point James hooks an ankle round Lily’s, swinging their legs absentmindedly as they talk. Lily feels embarrassed to admit that a small touch from him on her ankle of all things sends something sparking through her. Not for the first time she wanders how she ever lived without James’ presence in her life, how if not fuelled by his brightness. Then she thinks of the possibility of a future without him there. They have only been spending so much time together because of their plan to help Remus and Sirius, when this plan is eventually completed will they go back to how they were before, polite but distant, with no reason to spend time together. Her heart breaks at the thought because now she has been fortunate enough to know the full extent of all that James is, she would never be able to go back to treating him as a mere acquaintance because that’s not what he is. She is so sure this regression in their friendship would leave a cataclysmic James shaped hole in her life that would permeate into each aspect and leave her distraught.

“Are you alright?” James asks gently brow furrowed with concern clearly having picked up on her sudden spiral. And oh that’s it, the way he cares. The care he takes with everything he does and everyone he meets. To be cared for by James Potter is the biggest blessing a person could receive. Lily wants to always be cared for by James and always care for him in return.  

Lily wants to always be cared for by James.

Lily wants to always be loved by James.

Lily wants to always be loved by James and always love him in return.

Lily loves James.

Merlin, she’s an idiot. She’s an idiot because she managed to fall in love with her accomplice to helping their two friends who are in love realise they are in love. How ironic.

“Lils?” James asks again in the absence of a response nudging her lightly where their ankles are still resting against each other, and does he want to kill her with that Lils right now?! She can’t possibly handle him calling her by her name, or touching him, or that absolutely adorable expression that’s on his face right now with his big soulful eyes and furrowed brow, the way he is worrying his lip between his teeth. Oh my, his lips?!? She cannot do this right now. It’s suddenly all too much and yet not nearly enough.

“Sorry, yeah I’m fine, just think I’ve had a bit too much cake is all” Lily forces out and has to stop herself from cringing at how breathless she sounds. She tries to dig deep and find that calm, collected aura she has perfected… for most the time anyway. She thinks she has been successful until she looks up and meets James’ eyes again and her brain feels the need to overflow with everything she loves about James, which as it turns out is a lot.

“That’s alright, maybe a bit of fresh air would help” James responds with a comforting smile (merlin his smile!!!)

“You haven’t finished your cake though I’m fine to wait honestly” curse James Potter and his kind ways for making this even harder for her right now.

“Don’t worry I’ll ask for a takeaway box and we can have them later, then we get to enjoy these wonderful cakes twice” James reassures her and the promise that they will be spending more time together later sparks a flurry in her stomach (ah so that’s what that feeling has been), which is utterly ridiculous really because they literally share a common room so the chances of them seeing each other would have been high anyway. Her heart, however, chooses to ignore this supplying a steady stream of he wants to see you, he wants to spend time with you, he enjoys your company.

Lily wants to scoff at herself, she always swore she would never turn into one of those people who lost all rationality in the face of love and yet here she is. Her mind and heart are in a vigorous battle currently for control. As her mind applies logic that things are just the same as they were a mere few minutes ago when she made this realisation and so there is no need to be so on edge and yet her heart is countering with all these new horrifically distracting comments of how beautiful James is, how lovely his soul is, how good Lily Potter sounds (her brain personally chides her heart for that because wow she needs to get a grip). But then her logic and emotions join forces to impose on her with worries of what if he doesn’t love you back, he probably doesn’t he would shown as much by now, this is going to ruin everything.

They pick up their things and James goes to request some takeaway boxes, all the while sending worried glances back at Lily ensuring she’s alright, and with each glance she feels her heart stutter in her chest.

Eventually they make their way out, when as they are opening the door they are met with two familiar faces.

“Lily?” Mary questions at the same time Marlene questions “James?”

“What are you guys doing here?” all three girls ask in unison, Lily would probably laugh at the habit they’d picked up if it weren’t for the fact she was so on edge from her newly discovered feelings. James seemingly oblivious to the suspicious glances being thrown between the girls begins prattling on.

“We just stopped in for some cake and guys trust me you have to have the pineapple-” he paused looking at Lily for confirmation.

“-upside down cake” she offers unable to keep the fondness out of her tone.

“Right, yes, and the black forest gateau. Honestly guys it will change your life” he then leans closer and in a whisper adds “just between us though steer well clear of the kiwi and lime tea” he nods as he backs away as though he has just departed some higher wisdom on them.

Mary and Marlene both mutter their thanks but still keep flicking their gaze back and forth between James and Lily an unsaid question in their eyes. Surely they can’t see through Lily’s feelings already, if she took this long to realise them herself it seems unfair for others to realise so quickly.    

She’s about to make an attempt to leave before they can question her anymore because whilst the truth is that they are not on a date, it is not the truth that Lily doesn’t wish it were but she doesn’t feel like she can verbalise any of that right now and so she just wants to move on. But then there’s that reminder again that they are acting just as suspicious.

“What did you say you guys were doing here again?” at Lily’s question their demeanours immediately switched and they went from interrogating to looking interrogated, less suspicious squinted eyes and more skittish widened eyes as though they had been caught doing something wrong. Lily will admit it confuses her a bit that the reason they needed to go off alone was that they wanted to go for tea, but they are also well within their right for that and perhaps they were doing something else before that was more private. Madam Puddifoots is an interesting choice is all, then again Lily is there for a different reason than most others, she genuinely just wanted cake. Yet with that being said most people are here if they are-

“Thanks for the advice we will see you guys later” Marlene interrupts dragging Mary away. What has got into all of their friends lately. Lily feels like she’s on the outside of it all at the moment, too many changes, too many feelings, too many false pretences being put up, it’s making her head hurt. The day had started so positively but now somehow the sweetness had turned saccharine. At that moment she feels a weight on her shoulder. James held open the door for her a small smile passing from him to her like a secret, like something she wanted to hold onto forever. It grounded her somehow in spite of the fact her newfound feelings were part of her troubles.

They walked outside together and whilst her mind was swimming with questions and concerns, she allowed herself to just be here with James. James who maybe he loved her back, maybe he didn’t. Maybe he would care for her always, maybe it was only temporary. But one thing was for certain was that he cared for her now, was caring for her in the way he allowed their sides to brush as they walked and spoke soothingly because he had picked up on the spike in her emotions. She needed him now and he was here doing as such without her having to express that with words.