Chapter 13
Lily tips her head back, downing her first firewhiskey of the night, sure that it won’t be her last. She spies Remus nursing his own drink and sighs knowing she won’t be able to persuade him to not drink no matter how hard she tries. He really shouldn’t be drinking so soon after getting injured on the mission but she figures he deserves it.
The past few days had been long and exhausting, Lily and Gideon working constantly to ensure Remus stayed stable. With Remus’s status as a werewolf and an obvious opponent of Voldemort, it would’ve been impossible to get him treated safely at St Mungo's so Lily and Gideon had to pool their limited knowledge on dark magic to get him back to health. Thankfully, they were successful and Remus was now meandering around the Potter’s backyard, drink in one hand, Sirius’s hand in the other. The two had been completely attached at the hip since Remus was injured, never letting one person out of the other’s sight.
James and Sirius had decided that in the aftermath of Remus’s recovery they had to throw an epic party and now here she was, hoping to drink enough alcohol to let her forget the past week.
An odd but fun mix of the Hobgoblins, Bowie, the Weird Sisters, and Queen played in the yard over some magical sound system that Lily can’t figure out.
The two oldest Weasley children are chasing each other across the great expanse of grass that made up the Potter’s backyard, narrowly dodging the party-goers, while Percy, at age three, runs after them on unsteady legs.
Molly is chatting with her brothers as the twins wobble around them in an adorable display of cuteness. The Weasley children are a huge source of light to the Order, a beacon of innocence in a time that is trying to crush everything good in a person, and a huge boost to morale. None of the older members of the Order are in attendance: Kingsley, Moody, McGonagall, etc., keeping the party lighthearted and fun.
Lily heads over to the long table set up on the lawn filled with foods and drinks. She briefly wonders how James and Sirius managed to get so many refreshments when going into Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley was practically begging to be stopped by Death Eaters but then remembers the parties they threw at school and promptly decides to not question it.
She takes a pumpkin pasty and another firewhiskey before noticing Peter standing alone by the manor. Remembering his intense dislike of the alcoholic drink, she grabs a butterbeer and walks over to him.
“Hey Peter,” Lily says softly.
Peter jumps a little, his head shooting up. “Oh, hey Lily. I- I didn’t see you there.”
“I got you a butterbeer.” Lily holds the drink out to him.
“Thank you, I was just about to go get one.”
“No problem,” Lily says with a small laugh. “How have you been doing?” The war is difficult for everyone but she's noticed it’s been hitting Peter particularly hard.
“I’m doing fine, all things considered,” he says with a smile
“Glad to hear it. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you here at the manor, how have you been spending the days?” Lily asks.
“You know, I’ve been exploring the area, seeing how the muggles live. I found this really cool coffee shop nearby, the waitress is super nice,” Peter says shyly. “Have you been hanging around here a lot? I thought you shared a flat with Mary?”
“I’m so glad you’re getting out of that flat and getting some human interaction,” Lily says. “And yeah, I’ve been staying here while Mary is out on a mission. The flat is too quiet without her.”
His eyes widen the slightest bit and some butterbeer splashes out of the glass onto his long sleeve shirt though he doesn’t seem to notice. “Well I’m sure she will be back from wherever she is soon enough.”
“Thanks, Peter.”
Lily chats with Peter a bit more, getting into a fun conversation on gardening in London, before she’s pulled away by James asking her for a dance.
“I thought we were past this Potter?” She arches an eyebrow.
“For old times sake, Evans. Just relax, have some fun.”
“I am relaxing. I’ve had two drinks and a lovely conversation with Peter about gardening. A dance with you is the opposite of relaxing,” Lily says drily.
“Oh so you do remember our dance from that Gryffindor party in sixth year.” James smirks. “I thought you would have forgotten it, with all the alcohol you consumed that night.”
“Shut it, Potter. I had to give Sirius a run for his money as Drinking King of Gryffindor Tower.”
“Well, sorry to say, you lost. Maybe tonight is the night for a rematch?”
“Nice try,” Lily scoffs, “I learned my lesson. No one can beat Sirius in a drinking competition. Except maybe Remus,” she adds thoughtfully.
James laughs. “It depends on the night. Now, about that dance.”
Half an hour later and a full blown dance floor has been established in the middle of the yard. The music has been turned up and Lily is spinning in the arms of Sirius Black to a Celestina Warbeck song.
Marlene has her arms wrapped around Dorcas’s neck and the two girls are slow dancing to a song not meant to be slow danced to but attempting it anyway. Marlene throws her head back in a laugh at something Dorcas has whispered into her ear; Lily thinks all the trouble James and Sirius could’ve gotten into making the party happen was worth it if it gives her friends a reason to laugh like this.
James has somehow gotten Regulus onto the dancefloor. The younger Black brother finally seems to be enjoying himself, a tiny smile on his face as James tugs on his arms in some semblance of a dance.
Frank stands near Fabian, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot until the Prewett twin grabs his arm in a manner not dissimilar to what James is doing with Regulus and forces him to loosen up.
Lily lets out a shriek of laughter as Sirius suddenly dips her low, her hair brushing the ground, before she’s being pulled up again as the song ends. Breathless, she puts her hands on Sirius’s shoulders, stopping him from trying to rope her into another dance.
Sirius pouts but lets Lily pull away. As she leaves the dancefloor, she spares a thought for her best friend for the second time that night. She knows Mary would’ve loved this party, she always loved the Gryfindor parties back when they were at Hogwarts. The thought fills her with nostalgia but she pushes the memories out of her head, certain that Mary would yell at her for moping instead of partying if she were here. Lily decides then and there that she would force James to throw another party once Mary returns. For morale.
– - – - –
James was not thinking about his almost-kiss with Regulus. He wasn’t. He was too preoccupied thinking of Regulus’s soft hands in his as they danced. Of Regulus’s perfectly styled hair, not a strand out of place. Of the gorgeous green color of Regulus’s eyes. Of Regulus’s slightly chapped lips. And, fine, maybe he was thinking just a little bit about the almost-kiss.
He had been sorely disappointed at Sirius’s interruption at the quidditch pitch, but neither of them had brought it up since and James certainly isn’t going to now, three drinks in to a party all his friends are at.
James knows Regulus is equally buzzed, knows it is probably the only reason he agreed to go on the dancefloor in the first place, though James would like to chalk it up to his sweet-talking skills and pleading looks.
They’ve been dancing for a while though and James can see Regulus growing less enthusiastic about being up and surrounded by people so he takes matters into his own hands.
“Follow me!” James shouts over the music.
Regulus shoots him a confused look but acquiesces, grabbing James’s hand as James leads them away from the rest of the party. James waves to Lily who is now sitting next to Remus on the outskirts of the dancefloor but keeps walking until the music gets a little quieter.
“Where are we going?” Regulus asks.
“To my second favorite place on the grounds.” James grins.
“The first is the quidditch pitch, of course,” Regulus adds with an eye roll.
“Yep!” James doesn’t mention that Regulus is still holding his hand and doesn’t let go either.
They reach their destination quickly and James studies Regulus’s face as the younger boy takes in the view.
“It’s beautiful,” Regulus breathes, staring out at the expansive garden that goes up to touch the outer wall of the manor.
“It was my mother’s. I’m not the best with plants but I had the house elves maintain it after she passed. She often grew ingredients for my father’s potions. Nothing deadly though.” James looks out fondly over the blooming flowers. Unlike the last time he talked about his parents with Regulus, he doesn’t feel like he’s drowning. It might be the alcohol.
They stand in silence for a few seconds, listening to the party continuing without them in the background. They can still hear the music, though James can’t make out any of the lyrics, and the voices of the Order are within hearing distance but unintelligible.
“Thank you for showing me this, James,” Regulus finally says and James recognizes the tone he’s using. It’s the same way he said James’s name right before their almost-kiss.
James turns his head slowly and finds Regulus already looking at him.
“Reggie-,” James barely gets the nickname out before Regulus is stepping closer to him and pressing his lips to James’s.
James thinks his brain short-circuits and he’s frozen in place until Regulus begins to pull away and then James is lurching forward, chasing Regulus’s mouth. Regulus continues the kiss eagerly and brings his hands up to cup James’s face. James brings his own hand up to tangle in Regulus’s curls, the other hand wrapping around the younger boy’s waist. Regulus’s lips are warm and gentle and James smiles into the kiss.
They pull back after a few seconds and Regulus presses his forehead to James’s, both boys breathing heavily. James shifts to trail soft kisses down the side of Regulus’s neck and relishes in the quiet sound Regulus can’t quite stifle. Regulus’s hands have left James’s face and are now resting on his shoulders.
The hand on Regulus’s waist brushes against a sliver of skin beneath his shirt and James can feel the boy shiver. Regulus draws James’s face back to his and captures his lips again in a kiss, this one more passionate than the last.
James can smell the firewhiskey on Regulus’s breath and he falters. What if Regulus was only doing this because of the drinks? He’s about to pull back, whether to ask the boy straight up or just to breathe for a moment he doesn’t know, when he notices the odd silence that has fallen over the grounds.
“Reggie,” James says.
Regulus immediately pulls away and looks up at James, concern clear on his face.
“What is it?” Regulus asks.
“Just listen.”
The boys are silent for a beat and the lack of music and talking coming from the party is immediately obvious.
“Come on,” James says, getting worried, and he tugs on Regulus’s arm until they are both jogging out of the garden.
When they reach the rest of the party, James sees Kingsley standing in the grass. He’s obviously not here for the party which leaves a limited number of reasons for his presence. Either a raid is happening somewhere that needs immediate backup or someone is grievously injured and Lily and Gideon’s assistance is needed. James refuses to consider another option.
James slides up to Sirius’s side and whispers quietly, “What’s he doing here, mate?”
“I dunno, he hasn’t said anything yet. I really hope we’re not being sent on another bloody mission,” Sirius whispers back and James nods fervently.
James focuses his attention back to Kingsley and sees the man open his mouth before closing at again. Lily steps forward, her hand unconsciously drifting to her wand.
“What is it, Kingsley?” she asks and guilt flashes across the man’s face.
“I have… news. It’s regarding a friend of yours,” Kingsley says hesitantly and James’s heart plummets. He shares a worried glance with Sirius.
“A month before the mission to the muggle factory, it came to my attention that Emmeline Vance and Mary McDonald had not made contact with MACUSA as was their mission.” Kingsley’s voice wavers on the names and James clenches his fist.
“Emmeline,” Kingsley takes a deep breath and restarts, “Vance has been confirmed dead and Mary is missing. She’s been presumed dead.” The words come out in a rush and the yard stills for a moment, like the world has held its breath.
The stillness is broken by a single movement and it’s like a dam has shattered releasing whispers and small movements meant to comfort. Friends and brothers grasp for each other's hands and lovers search for each other in the crowd. But in all the quiet motions, one person, the one who broke the dam, is still and silent. Lily brought to her knees in the grass, her hands pressed against her mouth.