SIMP
6 November
Future Chemists
3:44 PM
[Reggie] HAVE YOU TWO ACTUALLY CHECKED THE ASSIGNMENT SLUGHORN SET US
[Reggie] GO CHECK IT RIGHT NOW
[Reggie] I’m about to go guzzle some bleach
Reggie changed their name to Regulus
[Marls] ITS 14 PAGES LONG
[Marls] IS HE INSANE
[Pete] It's double sided so actually its 28
[Marls] FONT 11
[Marls] i’m going to poison his food
[Pete] i WONT be right back, im gonna throw myself into oncoming traffic
[Regulus] this is going to take ages
[Marls] Chat I can’t do this one last minute i fear
[Pete] marlene you have to get off tiktok
[Marls] i’m going to have to delete all social media for the next 5 days if this is going to get done
[Pete] you’ll be busy all day friday with practice in the morning and lessons in the afternoon, saturday because of Regulus and Sirius’ birthday party, hungover sunday and a full day of lessons monday and it’s due tuesday
[Marls] omg i’m gonna have to be a nerd and do it now
[Marls] fuck
[Regulus] if you’re doing it now then so am i
[Marls] fuck okay
[Marls] meet me in the library
[Marls] i’ll get us a table
[Marls] peter you’re coming too get a move on
[Pete] well i WAS going to get you a red bull but i guess ill just come straight to the library
[Marls] love you peter
[Regulus] what about me?
[Pete] rubicon raw?
[Regulus] yes please <3
[Marls] you’re so gay
[Marls] drink red bull like a real man
[Regulus] and what are you??
[Marls] a lesbian?
[Pete] you sure?
[Marls] fuck off and hurry up
New group
4:06 PM
Peter shared 5 images
[Peter] chat, this is an unexpected pairing
[Marlene] YOU LITERALLY YELLED AT ME FOR SAYING THAT NOT 20 MINUTES AGO
[Sirius] is marlene… doing homework…. the day it’s set????
[Marlene] i’m gonna burn the jumper i gave you
[Sirius] NO THATS MY FAVOUROTE PRESESNT I GOT
[Remus] that 'present' was a jumper marlene literally stole from my wardrobe and wrapped up in tesco bag
[Marlene] okay and?
[Barty] wtf why wasn’t i invited to this study sesh
[Lily] because last time you went to a study sesh you kept throwing MY pencils at sirius
[Sirius] THAT WAS YOU????
[Barty] no. this is slander
Pandora shared 4 videos
[Barty] okay it was me
[Barty] i was coerced
[Mary] by who
[Lily] me
[Lily] but that’s besides the point
[Peter] Regulus is on the verge of tears
[Regulus] am not
Marlene shared 1 image
marauders
4:16 PM
[moony] SIMP
[prongs] IM NOT A SIMP
[wormtail] what
[padfoot] james has just SPRINTED out the dorm with a bag of haribo strawberries to cheer regulus up
[wormtail] SOQODJW
[padfoot] for the love of god please record him
[wormtail] marlene’s on it
New group
8:44 PM
[Dorcas] ARE THEY STILL WORKING ON THIS STUPID CHEMISTRY ASSIGNMENT
[Barty] let me check
[James] are you not sat with them??
[Pandora] we got banished to the other side of the library
[Sirius] why
[Evan] Barty stuck his tongue in Regulus
[Evan] REGULUS’ EAR
[Evan] IN HIS EAR
[Evan] NOT IN HIM
[Peter] wanky
[Barty] they’re on page 9
[James] out of?
[Barty] 28
[Dorcas] ffs
[Mary] doesn’t the library shut at 10
[Sirius] regulus is practically Pince’s child, she’ll let him stay as long as he wants
[Regulus] damn right
[Regulus] she’s already given me the keys to lock up <3
[Marlene] and she said she’ll give slughorn a bollocking for this abomination of an assignment
[Peter] there’s nothing practical about it either
[Peter] it’s ALL theory
[Regulus] i’m on the verge of tears again
marauders
8:55 PM
[moony] AND HES OFF AGAIN
[padfoot] AHHA
[wormtail] this is an interesting development
[padfoot] i’m not sure how i feel about this
[padfoot] we’re TWINS, does this means prongs is attracted to me as well
[wormtail] you’re not identical sirius
[wormtail] with your logic that means remus is attracted to regulus as well
[padfoot] MOONY?
[moony] absolutely not
[moony] he is pretty tho i’ll give him that
[padfoot] WTF?
[moony] oh please, you know you’re gorgeous
[padfoot] that i do
[wormtail] I CANT WITH THIS MAN
[moony] what’s he done
[wormtail] he’s literally just sat next to regulus telling him how smart and amazing and beautiful he is
[wormtail] makes me sick
[padfoot] where’s gideon
[padfoot] maybe we could put him and james in a competition
[wormtail] i actually have no idea
[wormtail] i sent him a voice note to rant about the assignment but he’s not opened it yet
[moony] he normally opens your messages before you even send it
[padfoot] he sees you’re typing and jumps to open it immediately
[wormtail] he’s probably just busy
[wormtail] oh my god are they dating?
[moony] james and regulus?
[moony] i don’t think so
[padfoot] james would have told me if they were
wormtail shared 1 image
[padfoot] IS REGULUS SAT IN HIS LAP
[wormtail] marlene is wetting herself rn
Peter Pettigrew and Bartemius Crouch Jr
9:01 PM
[Barty] am i seeing what i think im seeing
[Pete] what do you think you’re seeing
[Barty] Regulus and James
[Pete] then you’d be correct
[Barty] ARE THEY DATING
[Pete] the general consensus is no
[Barty] ffs
[Barty] i’m gonna be hearing regulus whinging about this when we get back to the dorms
[Pete] don’t think you will actually
[Barty] ?!?!
[Pete] he’s fallen asleep on james
[Pete] we’re going back to the dorm now
[Barty] WTFWIJD
[Pete] wanna come with?
[Barty] yeah sure
[Barty] Evan is coming too
[Barty] Pandora is off to find lily and dorcas
[Pete] 👍
[Pete] marlene told me to tell you to tell pandora to wait for her
[Barty] both of you get a move on
[Pete] you got your ipad?
[Barty] always
[Pete] wanna play roblox?
[Barty] always
7 November
Gideon Prewett and Peter Pettigrew
1:02 AM
[Gideon] are Barty Crouch and Evan Rosier in your room with you?
[Pete] not right now, no
[Pete] they were, why?
[Gideon] wdym they were?
[Pete] as in we were hanging out
[Gideon] doing what?
[Pete] cooking crystal meth
[Pete] then me and Barty sacrificed Evan
[Pete] what do you think we were doing?
[Gideon] well i don’t know what you were doing
[Pete] me and barty were teaching Evan how to play dress to impress
[Gideon] okay
[Pete] okay?
[Pete] where have you been all day?
[Gideon] classes
[Gideon] gn x
[Pete] night then
New group
6:55 AM
Marlene shared 4 images
[Marlene] looking sexy and academic
[James] don’t you have practice in an hour
[Peter] she does
[Regulus] we don’t
[James] are you still doing your chemistry work?
[Peter] I haven’t slept
[Regulus] i took a 2 hour nap
[Peter] i want to sleep
[Sirius] if you sleep now pete ill make sure you’re up for your afternoon lessons
[Peter] <333
SLUGHORN CAN SUCK MY DICK
1:15 PM
[Pete] someone tell me why my assignment has been FINISHED
[Marls] HOW?
[Marls] YOUVE BEEN ASLEEP?
[Pete] I HAD LIKE 8 PAGES LEFT AND THEYRE ALL DONE
[Marls] i sure as hell didn’t do it
[Marls] send me the answers rn
[Regulus] hold on
Regulus Black and Bartemius Crouch Jr
1:20 PM
[Regulus] care to explain?
[Barty] explain what
[Regulus] you did Peter’s assignment for him?
[Barty] no
[Regulus] don’t lie to me
[Barty] did I get it right?
[Regulus] yes but that’s not the point
[Regulus] how did you manage to do it
[Barty] snuck in and stole it from his desk, completed it at the library then snuck it back in
[Barty] i also left him some lunch because i know for a fact he didn’t eat breakfast and he was up all night
[Regulus] why didn’t you do mine
[Barty] didn’t feel like it x
[Barty] it’s all the same questions is it not?
[Regulus] some are different
[Barty] tough shit xoxo
[Barty] don’t tell him it was me
[Regulus] why not?
[Regulus] he’d really appreciate it Barty.
[Barty] just don’t
[Regulus] don’t want people to know you have a soft spot?
[Barty] I don’t want people to know i have a soft spot FOR HIM
[Regulus] is this you finally admitting you fancy him
[Barty] fuck you
[Barty] cunt
[Regulus] now there’s the barty i know and love
[Barty] don’t be gross
[Regulus] don’t be gay
[Barty] no can do 🫶