Something Great

5 September

New group

5:32 PM

[Lily] when is he picking you up

[Peter] 28 minutes

[Marlene] Pete you’ll be fine

[Peter] i know i will

[Mary] OH THIS IS SO CUTE

[James] we took pictures

[Peter] this isn’t my first time going on a date guys.

[Sirius] no but it’s your first time being taken out on a date

[Sirius] i feel like a proud mum

[Marlene] why not proud dad

[Mary] CAN I BE THE PROUD DAD?

[Sirius] oh yes

[Sirius] wife me up macdonald

[Lily] why not two mums

[Dorcas] or two dads

[Lily] homophobia?

[Marlene] because daddy durkheim says same sex families are failures at socialising children

[Peter] NUCLEAR FAMILIES FOR DA WINNNNN

[James] was it durkheim?

[Marlene] it was one of the old fuckers

[James] i’m so excited

[Sirius] same

[Sirius] i’m literally on the edge of my seat

[Peter] can you stop

[Pandora] are you guys not at your room?

[Peter] they were pissing me off so i banished them to Lilys room

[Remus] not me tho

[Remus] i’m cool like that

[Marlene] I CANT WAIT

[Dorcas] 20 minutes

[Mary] any last minute advice for our darling peter?!!?

[Marlene] if he asks you to pull his finger, don’t

[Regulus] marlene how old are you

[Pandora] if things get awkward i normally just start listing off facts until it sparks a conversation

[Evan] since when have you been on a date

[Evan] why haven’t i known about this?

[Evan] with who????

[Mary] i’d say shagging on the first date is always a no go

[Peter] shagging in general for me is a no go

[Evan] really?

[Peter] yeah

[Peter] problem??

[Evan] NO no problem

[Evan] would be a bit hypocritical of me if i were to have a problem

[Peter] no way

[Peter] i can feel us bonding already

[Mary] i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable with that Pete, i didn’t know

[Peter] you’re all good mary don’t worry about it xx

[Mary] <3

[Remus] 5 minutes

[Peter] STFU

[Peter] i’m turning my phone off

[James] NO?

[Sirius] ABSOLUTELY NOT

[James] PETER DONT YOU DARE

[Barty] woah?

[Mary] dramatic much

[Peter] what on earth???

[Regulus] bet you ANYTHING they’re planning on stalking you on life 360

[Barty] don’t mention life 360 PLEASE

[Peter] can we talk about ANYTHING else

[Peter] i’m nervous enough as it is

[Regulus] can we talk about how evan once fell out of a two story window trying to get away from a spider

[Marlene] WHAT

[Dorcas] STOP IT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

[Pandora] i’ve never ever forgotten about it

[Pandora] i took a picture of him from the window as he was lying on the floor and it was my lockscreen for over a year

[Mary] find it now.

[Pandora] on it 🫡

[Evan] STFU

[Evan] THAT THING WAS MASSIVE

[Evan] AND I DID NOT FALL OUT

[Regulus] you JUMPED out

[Barty] i can tell you that’s 110% worse

[Peter] how big was it

[Barty] wanky

[Regulus] it was microscopic

[Evan] the size of my hand

[Pandora] i think you might have been hallucinating

Pandora shared 1 image

[Marlene] OH MY GOD?

[Dorcas] HAHA

[Sirius] that’s insane

[Lily] stop what tf is he wearing

[Evan] Regulus’ clothes

[Regulus] i’m wearing Evan’s, you can see me in the bottom right corner on the floor laughing

[James] why are you wearing each others clothes

[Regulus] for the laughs

[Pandora] this is the spider he almost killed himself over

Pandora shared 1 image

[Peter] that’s tiny wtf

[Marlene] thats what she said

[Evan] we could ALSO talk about the time Barty thought it would be really funny and cool to do a backflip off my desk and he ended up just falling backwards and knocked himself out

[Sirius] WHAT?

[James] STOPWJI

[Mary] OMFG

[Regulus] i had it on video but SOMEONE stole my phone and deleted it

[Pandora] “Watch this guys, it’s gonna be so cool!”

[Barty] that’s not funny

[Pandora] it really really is

[Pandora] i can laugh about it now

[Dorcas] you laughed about it then too

[Regulus] she laughed so hard that no sound was coming out just tears streaming down her face

[Barty] AS I WAS UNCONSCIOUS ON THE GROUND

[Peter] were you alright

[Barty] no

[Barty] i am now tho

[Peter] good

[Peter] OAKAY HSA NOW GTG BUE

[Remus] that translates to “okay he’s here now gtg bye”

[Lily] WE LOVE YOU PETE

[Sirius] DONT DO ANYTHING I WOULD DO

[Mary] UPDATE US

[James] STAY SAFE

[Marlene] BRING ME BACK SOMETNING FROM THE ARCADE

[Remus] TRY NOT TO EMBARRASS HIM TOO MUCH XX

[Sirius] what do we do now

[Pandora] we wait for updates

7:43 PM

[Peter] i’m currently winning

[Peter] i’m fucking awesome

[Peter] he’s so hot i wanna die

[James] AHKQKDOQKAO

[Sirius] WHERE IS HE WHY ARE YOU TEXTING WHATS JAPPENEINGJWOAKSKQN WNKSQNO DIDJQ

[Peter] he’s gone to get us a refill on our drinks

[Lily] what a gentleman

[Mary] i love gideon so much

[Mary] such an icon

[Peter] stfu he’s coming back bye

[Marlene] we will NOT stfu

[Mary] this is so exciting

[Marlene] my baby pete all grown up on a date

8:56 PM

[Peter] okay we’re on our way back now

[Peter] should be around 40 minutes, there’s loads of traffic

[Sirius] HOWS IT GOING

[Marlene] sirius you’ll probably hear about it when he gets back

[Mary] considering you guys LIVE TOGETHER

[Lily] please don’t ambush him the second he walks through the door

[James] oh we will

[Regulus] sirius are you watching him on life 360

[Sirius] yes

[Dorcas] stalker much???

[Sirius] just making sure he’s on the right way home

[Pandora] anyone in my psychology?

Pandora shared 1 document

[James] OMF I FORGOT ABOUT SCHOOL

[Barty] fuck meeeee

[Barty] why did i choose economics

[Regulus] because EVAN chose economics

[Evan] ur obsessed

[Mary] i feel unwell

[Mary] who the hell does economics

[Evan] i’m doing Economics, business, maths and further maths

[Marlene] YOURE DOING FOUR??????

[Evan] yep

[Lily] Marlene babe, so am i

[Remus] and me

[Marlene] you lot are mental

[Marlene] actually insane

[James] wait lily what four are you doing

[Lily] History, Psychology, Biology and English lit

[Lily] Pandora i’m in your psych x

[James] i’m in a different psychology class what the fuck

[Regulus] you’re doing psychology?

[James] yep

[Sirius] £50 to whoever can guess what subjects i’m doing

[Barty] Art, Drama, Criminology

[Sirius] wtaf

[Remus] LMFAO

[Barty] am i right??

[Sirius] yes.

[Barty] i’ll message you my bank details

[Sirius] i’m not giving you 50 quid

[Barty] why the fuck not

[Sirius] you must have cheated

[Barty] no, you’re just predictable

[Barty] you did art and drama at GCSE, both of which you got a 9 in. when i was at your dorm on Monday you were banging on about how you were taking an “ology” subject, so that narrowed it down to psychology, sociology and criminology. You said you were upset you and james had no classes together so that ruled out psychology, you have no interest in sociology as a subject since you zoned out when james, pandora, mary, marlene and peter were talking about them taking it at GCSE, so that left criminology

[Remus] wtf

[Evan] damn

[Marlene] i’m strangely turned on rn

[Dorcas] AHQDI

[Sirius] did you actually work all that out

[Barty] no reg told me

[Regulus] BAHWIODQO

[Marlene] i already hate chemistry

[Regulus] same

[Regulus] i regret it already

[Mary] i regret all my choices

[Mary] my history exams alone are gonna be over 3 hours long

[Barty] three hours?????

[Evan] damn

[Mary] well for me they’re 3 hours

[Mary] i get extra time

[Evan] you do?

[Evan] did you get it for GCSE?

[Mary] mhm

[Mary] i was in a separate hall for all my GCSE exams because i have a reader 

[Evan] a reader?

[Mary] someone who reads out the questions to me if i want them to

[Marlene] FUCK ME YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE GREAT HALL DURING PHYSICS PAPER 1

[Sirius] STOP IT

[Sirius] DONT MAKE ME THINK AGOUT IT

[James] IT HAPPENED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

[Mary] STFU

[Mary] i don’t wanna hear it

[Regulus] i still don’t understand how i didn’t hear snapes table collapsing

[Barty] i remember looking right over to you when it happened and you were writing away like normal

[Barty] EVERYONE looked to see what had happened

[Marlene] i genuinely peed a little from silently laughing too hard

[Lily] JWOFJWO

[James] the way he just sat there in his seat looking at his table on the floor not knowing what to do

[Pandora] his paper had flown all the way down the hall as well

[Pandora] it landed right next to me

[Remus] james you should have seen his face

[Marlene] HE WAS FUCKING MORTIFIED

[Mary] Marlene is snorting now with how much she’s laughing

[Marlene] I CANT

[James] anyone remember slughorn burping during the english mock

[Remus] isn’t that what started “professor foghorn”

[Mary] even i heard it and i was in the next room

[Mary] it fucking echoed

[Mary] i remember looking at emmeline thinking the world was ending

[Regulus] genuinely thought the man was about to be sick

[Marlene] NO STOP IT

[Marlene] I cried during that entire mock

[Marlene] i remember being so distraught then just hearing the most revolting possible sound coming from my right and seeing slughorn cover his mouth with his hand and go “pardon me”

[Sirius] You cried during EVERY mock exam

[Marlene] you filthy liar

[Marlene] I didn’t cry during the sociology ones

[Marlene] because i am amazing

[Pandora] liar

[Pandora] you cried during paper 2

[Pandora] i remember me and you fixing our eyeliner in the bathroom afterwards while ranting about the questions

[Marlene] damn i forgot you were here

[James] PETERA HOME

[Lily] OHMYGOD

[Mary] WHATS HAPPENING

[Sirius] they’re talking outside the door

[Marlene] WHATS BEING SAID

[Remus] it’s all muffled

[Evan] do all 3 of you have your ears pressed up against the door

[James] no

[Remus] no

[Sirius] yes

[Sirius] i hear kissing

[Regulus] you shut your mouth

[Mary] HELLO WHATS HAPLENING

[Marlene] I FEEL SO ON EDGE

[Dorcas] yk we could all just come over

[Lily] HELLO

[Peter] marlene you also cried during sociology paper 1 during the february mocks, don’t lie

[Marlene] ffs

[Peter] anyone who wants a debrief, get your ass over here

[Lily] was it a good night?

[Peter] absolutely

[Dorcas] we’re bringing popcorn and haribos

6 September

New group

2:04 AM

Pandora shared 1 video

[Barty] FUCK YOU OMG

[Peter] imagine not being able to do a backflip

[Barty] i can do a backflip

[Peter] doesn’t look like it there mate

[Pandora] get rekt

[Barty] I WAS NINE

[Peter] NINE AND TAKING CARE OF YOU

[Regulus] TAKING CARE OF ALL OF US

[Peter] i’m sending you all the shameless edits that come up on my fyp now regulus

[Regulus] mickey is my spirit animal

[Barty] both of you stfu

[Barty] i can do a backflip NOW obviously

[Marlene] do it then

[Barty] i’m not stretched

[Peter] so many jokes

[Peter] so many

[Peter] I CANTKWODKW

[Marlene] is that dorcas wheezing in the background of the video

[Barty] yes

[Barty] they were all laughing until they realised i was literally UNCONSCIOUS then evan and dorcas actually went and got help

[Peter] what did regulus and pandora do

[Pandora] drew on his face

[Regulus] i took so many photos

[Lily] you had phones at the age of 9?

[Pandora] i didn’t

[Pandora] regulus did

[Regulus] perks of being rich

[Pandora] i AM rich?

[Regulus] not as rich as me

[Lily] jesus christ