Snape’s Spite
Severus had known that Potter would be joining the student body that year, he had been as mentally prepared to see James Potter’s son as he could be.
There had been nothing to prepare Severus for Sirius Black to have had a son the same age as Potter’s.
A Black and Potter in the same year, in Severus’s house.
The cherry on top of the torment that Severus was experiencing had been Albus contacting Remus Lupin and asking him to teach defense.
It was Severus once again trapped in a castle with an arrogant, bullying Black; a self-absorbed, overly-favored Potter; and the werewolf that once nearly killed Severus.
Truly, if Albus had wanted to force Severus‘s resignation, he should have found a way to bring Pettigrew back from the dead and hired him for history.
Severus had barely had time to relish Black’s death before he was faced with his spawn. And the boy was the exact image of Black, it was very in character for Black’s genes to have overtaken any that the mother might have wanted to pass along.
Potter’s son too looked overly similar to James Potter, though Lily’s genes had fought through in a few physical characteristics.
The boys were their fathers reborn in personality though and Severus should have known that Minerva and Lupin would fawn over them. The boys had a small talent for magic and then strutted through the castle showing off at any moment. There had been multiple instances where Severus found them yelling and gesturing wildly only to realize that they had charmed themselves to only be audible to each other.
It was infuriating and only Albus seemed to understand that the beasts were dangerous, though he had taken a peculiar stance on them.
Albus had been troubled by Black’s existence, as if he should have known every transgression of Black’s when none had expected his worst one. It further troubled Albus to discover that Black was yet another boy born at the end of July; another boy that could have been the prophesied child.
Black certainly had the ego and arrogance to be the prophesied child. He also, in what had been reported to Severus then taken to the Headmaster, carried many of the same traits as the Dark Lord.
“He’s a Parslemouth?” Albus said, his face grave and drawn.
“I was told by multiple students that Black and Potter see no need to use a password when the common room is too happy to admit a Parslemouth,” Severus said stiffly.
What a glorious gift, so wasted on Black.
“That is interesting,” Albus said, though Severus thought that he had many other terms he would have preferred to use.
“Keep a close eye on them, Severus,” Albus said. Albus stared at the cabinet where his pensieve was stored and there was something disturbed in his eyes.
“They could become something much more than either of their fathers before them…”
It was interesting to see Lily’s son as enraptured with Black as Potter had been with the elder Black. Severus also found it interesting that Black had named his child after the elder Potter, only a year before turning the Potter family over to the Dark Lord.
Severus wished fiercely that Black and Potter would be Minerva’s problem, but he had seen Black the instant Potter was sorted. If Slytherin had not been immediately recommended to Black then Severus would wager that Black had demanded it.
Even the elder duo had not been as overly attached as Black and Potter were. Where one was, the other was nearby, often revolving around each other in an unconscious manner.
Severus had even heard comments from students that they shared a bed, an impropriety that Severus planned to explain to Potter in no uncertain terms was to end immediately.
Potter… Severus gnashed his teeth as he prepared for the medical exam the boy required that evening. It was Severus’s standard practice to ensure that all members of his quidditch team were healthy enough to play the season.
Typically, it had been Minerva who placed the boy on Severus’s team. It had likely also been Minerva who purchased the anonymous Nimbus 2000 specifically for the ‘1991-1992 Slytherin Seeker’ to use.
Severus had been tempted to pass Potter along to Poppy for the exam, but with the full moon that night and Severus’s bitter joy at assigning Potter and Black separate detentions…
Thus, Severus would have to administer the examination.
Severus had planned on administering a brief examination then setting the boy to clean cauldrons until Severus could no longer hear Black drawling ‘Snivellus’ in his mind. If Severus were stuck with one of the beasts for the evening, Potter was the preferable one.
Potter was quieter than Black, less aggressive. It only made him Severus’s second to last choice as a student whose presence he would choose to suffer through.
Severus had expected Potter to be angry, angry over the injustice of the detention Severus gave him, possibly wrongfully-angry on behalf of Black.
Severus had not expected the whirlwind with which Potter stormed in the classroom. The boy’s eyes were burning and despite his juvenile size and immaturity, there was a cold wind surrounding him that drove Severus to his feet.
“It was you.” Potter stomped directly to Severus’s desk without a hint of fear or respect in his eyes or voice.
Severus would never admit it, but he felt unease at the depth of the anger that burned within the boy.
“Pardon?” Severus snarled, refusing to cow to the child.
“You. You heard the prophecy and you told Voldemort, didn’t you?” Potter demanded. When his words took Severus by momentary surprise, Potter slammed his hand on Severus’s desk.
“YOU TOLD VOLDEMORT ABOUT THE PROPHECY AND HE KILLED MY PARENTS BECAUSE OF IT!”
It was true, every word.
Potter should not know it.
“You will watch your tone, Potter,” Severus said for a lack of other immediate response. It was a blatant stall and the boy knew it, he knew.
Albus would not have… would the wolf have known?
It must have been. Albus must have told James Potter at least enough that Potter had made correct guesses. He had told his so trusted friends… Lupin had told Potter’s son.
What was Severus meant to say to the boy?
‘It was I that caused the death of your parents, I only regret half of it’?
‘Shut your mouth or I will wipe it from your memory’?
Severus… Severus could wipe it from the boy’s memory… Albus would never need to know…
The wolf would know. With the full moon high, Severus would never have time to wipe the memory from the wolf’s mind. If Lupin told Albus, Albus’s fury would be unmatched, Severus was certain.
“I asked for you to come here for a medical examination,” Severus said in a monotone. “If you plan to participate in Slytherin’s upcoming quidditch match, you must have an examination on file.”
The fire in Potter’s eyes flickered for a brief flash of uncertainty.
Good, Severus would be disparaged to be the only one in their meeting to be faced with something he had not expected.
“You’re not even denying it,” Potter said with disbelief. “You’re not even denying that you were the one that sent Voldemort after my parents.”
“I need you to drink this.” Severus pulled the milk-colored potion from where he had it stored on the shelf beneath his desk and placed it in front of Potter. “Once you have, I will cast a charm to do a thorough medical examination. Many times, this will find a variety of illnesses that you may have forgotten about. You will not be an exception and it is no reason to panic, do you have any questions?”
“Were you really friends with my mum?” Potter asked. “Why won’t you deny it? SNAPE! WHY WON’T YOU DENY IT?!”
Severus could not deny it, it was true. There he was, faced with the orphaned-consequences of his past decisions.
Despite it being Potter, it was oddly painful.
“Take the potion so I can administer my exam,” Severus said, the only thing he knew to say.
When Potter looked Severus in the eyes, when Severus was hit in the face with the boy’s anger and pain, Severus never even considered skimming the boy’s mind. It was clear what he thought:
If they were in any other situation, Potter would kill him.
If they were in any other situation, Severus might let him.
“One day you’re going to need me for something.” Potter never looked away from Severus as he smoothly grabbed the bottle and uncorked it. It took Potter a single swallow to down the potion and then he placed it gently, calmly, on the desk.
“When you do, I’m going to look you in the eyes and remind you that it was you who sent Voldemort after my parents,” Potter said, too calmly calculated for a child. “I hope you see your once close friend when you die and you can tell her that I wouldn’t lift a pinkie to save your life.”
It was a chilling promise, eerie with the way Potter spoke. Severus had heard rumors that the boy was a seer, he had assumed that it was folly of the boy’s own making. There may have been truth to it, there was certainly something off about Potter.
“I expect that when I die, I will be in a very different place than my once close friend,” Severus replied truthfully. He leaned across the desk and tapped the top of Potter’s head to complete the exam as if Potter had not just threatened Severus’s life.
Potter had nothing to say when the parchment appeared for Severus.
It was meant to be a standard examination, nothing strenuous. Which meant that Potter had to be an anomaly.
Harry James Potter
DOB: 31.07.1980
Age: 16
Severus paused at the patient information listed in the header.
Potter was eleven…
Had Severus misbrewed the potion? Cast the charm too hastily? It had never happened to him before, yet he had never been confronted by a righteously angry student before either.
The anomaly of the examination information still paled in comparison to the results.
Past History:
-Left Shoulder Dislocation
-Right Wrist Sprain
-Occipital Lobe Contusion
-Right Ankle Fracture
And so it went. There were nearly two dozen injuries listed in Potter’s history that would have meant nothing as singular incidents. To have so many of them though?
Severus let his eyes skim over the list of contusions, sprains, fractures, and one concussion to find the current diagnoses.
Current Diagnosis:
-Malnourished
-Anemic
-Diminished Vitamin D Level
Severus studied the parchment for a few minutes of which Potter, who had been so filled with hot anger, stood entirely still.
It was difficult, but not impossible, to look at the report and ignore the name at the top of it.
If it were any other student…
“What’s it say?” Potter asked.
The boy sounded nervous then, nervous and working hard to conceal it.
Severus held a hand up for silence and tried to reframe Potter’s diagnoses without the past medical history. The boy could have an eating disorder… except Severus had seen him during meals and heard no reports of purging.
“It says nothing,” Severus lied. He rolled the parchment and pocketed it. “Go.”
“Wait a second,” Potter scoffed and looked at where Severus had pocketed his results. “That’s mine and I want to know what it says.”
It was a simple request, Severus had no true reason to refuse.
“No.”
“Why not?” Potter demanded, his face flushing with what Severus thought might have been embarrassment.
“Because I am the professor and I said no,” Severus said. “Good night.”
Severus waited for Potter to puff himself up, glare, scowl, make his childish huffing noises. When the boy saw that Severus would not budge, Potter conceded.
“Who are you going to show it to?” Potter asked.
Who? No one.
“Who are you attempting to keep it from?” Severus asked instead.
“That depends on what it says.”
“Professor,” Severus corrected him. They had gone so far past what was acceptable between Professor and student that it was laughable, yet Severus needed them to return to the status quo.
Severus needed to not have evidence that the Boy-Who-Lived was abused in his pocket. He needed Potter’s son to not know that it was Severus who tipped the first domino in Lily’s death.
Potter certainly found humor in Severus’s request. He tilted his head and glared at Severus with a sardonic smile twisting his lips.
“You can give me detention every day, you take all the points you want from Slytherin. If you think you need to take me off the quidditch team and enact a lifelong ban from the sport, you do that too,” Potter said quietly. “But if you think I will ever address you with a hint of respect again, you’re wrong.”
The scales between them had tipped so badly that there would be no recovering it. There was nothing for Severus to say, no title of respect he could demand, even a detention would only make Potter laugh.
Potter left Severus standing there in silence, floundering in how to proceed with the information he had and the information Potter held.
Severus did nothing with it that night, he only ruminated on it while he waited for the full moon to pass.
Lupin would be the only viable candidate to dump the information on. It was his fault that Potter knew what he knew, it seemed fair that Potter’s home life became Lupin’s problem as well.
Severus had to wait for dawn before he could go to Lupin’s quarters and interrupt the man from sleep. Again, it was fair as Severus had received no sleep during night.
“Severus?” Lupin was disheveled and sagging in the doorway of his quarters. It seemed to have been a painful night for him, pity.
“No, please, come in,” Lupin deadpanned when Severus pushed past him to enter the quarters.
It was sparsely decorated, clearly Lupin hadn’t yet had time to hang what Severus could imagine were dozens of Gryffindor banners and photographs of the friends he once had. Maybe he would add a photo of Potter and Black for sentimentality.
“I had an interesting conversation with Potter,” Severus said as he slowly made his way across the room to glance at Lupin’s bookshelf. There were a few defense volumes, a couple of advanced brewing tomes, mostly it was muggle novels.
“Harry?” Lupin asked. Severus could hear him limping to his sofa and the squeaking springs when he sat down on it. “Is he alright?” he asked with concern.
“He’s anemic,” Severus said. He pulled the parchment from his pocket and sent it floating behind him to Lupin. “Malnourished. I believe there was an expected vitamin deficiency as well.”
“What?” Lupin sputtered and Severus ignored his muttering while he read the results. Severus amused himself by checking which novels were more worn, which had never had their spine cracked.
Lupin seemed to prefer romance novels, typically.
“This says he’s sixteen,” Lupin pointed out, as if that were the glaring issue in ink.
“I was preoccupied when I cast the charm,” Severus said, waving the smallest issue away. He turned to face Lupin and could see in the man’s pallor that Lupin had only seized on the incorrect age as a distraction.
Severus curled his lip, it looked as if Lupin were going to cry.
“Do with that as you please,” Severus said. “I would keep it to yourself though, as Potter was adamant that none should read it.”
“What am I meant to do with this?” Lupin asked, waving the parchment. “Severus! He’s your student, shouldn’t you take this to Albus? Have a talk with Harry about - about his home?”
“Why would I do such a thing when you are the one who finds time for such frequent chats with the boy?” Severus asked with a bitter twist to his words. “The boy refuses to so much as address me with respect. That is entirely your problem, Lupin.”
“Frequent chats? What?” Lupin shifted and Severus could see a wound peeking out from the bottom of his shirt hem. It looked deep, possibly painful; it had to be self-inflicted as Severus had given him the Wolfsbane Potion.
Pathetic.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to Harry at all outside of the classroom,” Lupin said. “He’s always with - he’s busy. I’m busy. I’ve barely spoken to him.”
Lupin tried to cover himself, but Severus could piece together what he had not said.
“He’s always with Black?” Severus said in a soft taunt. “Does it hurt you, Lupin? To see further evidence of Black’s disloyalty? Ah, you and Black would have been together when he fathered his little bastard, correct?”
“Stop it, Severus,” Lupin said quietly, turning his head away.
Severus would not stop, Severus had to endure looking at Potter for another seven years while they both knew what had happened. Severus would not stop.
“Did he not tell you?” Severus asked, a soft and malicious taunt. “Were you unaware that while you mourned your lover that his son was preparing for school? Did the boy’s mother never hint at it? The two of you had been friends as well, correct?”
“Severus… please…”
“You trusted him again and again,” Severus reminded him. “What was it you told me? Ah, yes, ‘Sirius might be reckless, but he loves you’. I wonder if he told Mary the same thing—”
“DAMN IT, SEVERUS! SHUT UP!”
Lupin had made it to his feet and he was crying, awful silent tears that streamed down his face. Severus refused to feel anything toward Lupin, not when Lupin had made his own bed and invited the fleas in it.
“Severus? Can I - can I talk to you?” Remus was tall, lanky, tired. He propped his shoulder against the wall and had his head ducked so that his sandy hair fell in his face, hiding his eyes.
Severus had been perfectly hidden, so perfectly that he didn’t doubt that Remus had to use actual magic to find him. Severus didn’t bother to uncurl his legs or to lift his head from where his chin sat on his knees.
“No,” Severus said, embarrassed deeply by the croak of his voice, the proof of his hurt that felt never-ending.
“Severus, please…” Remus kneeled on the ground beside Severus and tried to reach out as if he were going to place his hand on Severus’s arm. When Severus twitched away, Remus dropped his hand.
“I’m so sorry,” Remus said. “I never meant for you - I never thought he’d… God, Severus, I’m sorry. You - you have every right to hate me.”
Good, because Severus did. Severus hated Remus and he hated his secrets that seemed to last forever. Severus hated Remus’s disease and he hated his lycanthropy.
“I do,” Severus said, scowling as hard as he possibly could. Severus refused to look at Remus, he refused to let him see that he had managed to finally injure him.
“You should,” Remus said. “I’m so sorry. You could have been killed.”
He could have, but that wasn’t why Severus was so angry.
“You were sitting with Black this morning,” Severus sneered. “He should be expelled.”
“I don’t think he meant for it to get so far,” Remus pleaded. “And I’m not speaking to him, I’m furious. He keeps talking and talking and I didn’t talk to him at all.”
He would, Severus knew he would.
“He did it on purpose,” Severus muttered, knowing it was true. “He wanted you to kill me.”
It was what Potter did, notched to a new degree of aggression. Potter saw Severus and Lily being friendly and he had yet to quit abusing Severus daily for it. Black saw Severus deluding himself into thinking that Remus was more than a partner on a defense project and he had tried to kill him for it.
Severus would never again delude himself into thinking that he had friends. Lily would eventually leave him for Potter, Remus would forgive Black. It was only Severus who had no great love to defend him when anyone so much as glanced in his direction.
“Go away,” Severus snapped. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”
Severus would rather take a failing grade on his project than associate with Remus Lupin in any capacity again.
Severus had his wish for years, until the day that Black had died in Azkaban. That had been the first time that Severus allowed himself to think of Lupin, to wonder if he was mourning or rejoicing.
It had gone quite downhill from there, clearly.
“Get out,” Lupin told him, gesturing tiredly to the door. “I’ll - I’ll talk to Harry. Just… go. Please.”
Severus did. Severus left and hoped that Lupin would spend just as long ruminating on his past decisions as Severus would continue to do.
Let Black haunt Lupin as Potter haunted Severus.