Sixth Year
SUMMER
Sirius had only just holed up in his room, where he planned to spend as much of his summer as possible, when he heard an urgent knock on the door.
“Sirius? It's me.”
“Reg? Come in.”
His brother entered quickly and closed the door behind him. They looked at each other in silence for a few moments. They didn't talk as frequently or as easily as they used to. Sirius had kept coming home because he didn't want to leave his brother here without him, but every time he looked at Regulus, he felt anger flare up in his chest at what he had grown into.
“You have to go,” said Regulus.
“What?”
“Get out of here. As soon as you can.”
“Why? What's happened?”
Regulus glanced back nervously at the closed door, as if he was afraid of being overheard.
“I know who your soulmate is.”
Sirius froze. “What?”
“Snape saw the two of you together. He wanted to tell our parents personally, but I convinced him to let me do it, so I could warn you first. But you have to go. If I don't tell them, they'll –“ Regulus broke off, but Sirius was pretty sure he had the gist of it.
“And you're going to?” Sirius waited to feel angry, but he was filled with a cold numbness.
“I have to,” said Regulus, his eyes pleading. “They'll know if I don't.”
Sirius took a deep breath. He had been planning to leave for so long, but his plans had never been practical. They'd involved big, dramatic exits, and long speeches to his family about how they'd wronged him. He had never really thought through the logistics of taking his trunk and leaving the house in the middle of the day.
Sirius had never really been one for logistics, after all. He was one for grand gestures and big ideas. He could feel adrenaline replace the numbness running through his blood, and he imagined trashing everything in his way as he stormed out of the house.
Instinctively, he pulled up his left sleeve to look at his arm, just as the words “Don't do anything rash” began to appear. His emotions must be running really high, he realized, if Remus could feel it. He grabbed a pen from his pocket and responded, “Tell James I'm coming.”
There. That was one step done. If he could just tackle one thing at a time, he could do this. And he wasn't alone. He had Remus, and James, and even Peter, and –
“Regulus.”
His brother had been standing there quietly, but he met Sirius's gaze.
“They can't know you've helped me.”
“I know.”
“I'll hex you.”
Regulus blinked at him.
“You can tell them that I was planning to leave already,” continued Sirius, forming the plan as he spoke. “And that you tried to stop me, but I Stunned you.”
“I won't be able to distract them while you leave, then.”
Sirius felt a sharp pain in his heart at that. He and Regulus had grown so far apart in these last few years, but when it came down to it, both of them had each other's backs.
“I'll be fine,” he promised. He turned to his trunk and started digging through it. He handed Regulus his mirror when he found it.
“Take this. I'll get the other one back from James. If you ever need me, say my name into the mirror, and we'll be able to talk, okay?”
Regulus swallowed and nodded. Sirius turned back to his trunk, and murmured a vanishing spell under his breath, sending it to sit just outside the wards of the Potters' house. He grabbed his broom, clutching it in one hand and his wand in the other. Then he turned back to face his brother.
They regarded each other for a few minutes. Their family had never been one for physical affection, so Sirius held out his hand, and Regulus shook it.
“Thank you,” said Sirius. “Ready?”
Regulus nodded.
“Stupefy!” said Sirius, watching as red light flashed towards his brother. He hit the floor, and Sirius could immediately hear voices below reacting to the noise. Sirius jumped over Regulus's body and made for the door.
He just had to get beyond the wards. They would guess he was going to the Potters', but he didn't think they would expend the effort to chase him. And once Regulus had told them about Remus, they would likely disown him.
As he ran towards the staircase, Kreacher poked his head out of one of the rooms along the hallway.
“Mistress!” he screeched, in what seemed like an unnaturally loud voice for such a small creature. “Master Black is running!”
Sirius swore under his breath, but didn't stop. He had no doubt that his footsteps were audible to the whole house, anyway.
His mother appeared at the bottom of the stairs, blocking his way. He slammed to a stop at the top of the staircase, panting for breath.
“Expelliarmus!” he cried before she could hit him with a spell. Not pausing to think, he followed up with a Confounding Charm, and she let him brush right past him.
“MASTER REGULUS!” he heard Kreacher scream as he turned the corner to the foyer. He was so close, he could see the door –
– and he could see his father standing calmly in front of it.
Sirius froze. His father always had that effect on him, of his whole body turning cold and forgetting how to move.
“Going somewhere, Sirius?” said Orion, not bothering to look at him.
Sirius said nothing.
“It seems to me,” his father continued, “that you are still underage and still living under my roof. And that you have performed magic against two members of our family so far tonight.” Orion's eyes swept over him. “I don't think the Ministry will be very sympathetic to anyone who takes you in after that.”
Sirius tried to block out all the fears that his father's words brought rushing into his mind. He didn't want the Potters to get into trouble. And what if they didn't want him once they heard he'd Confounded his own mother?
They'll understand, a tiny voice inside him said. They always understand. They told you to come to them. They want you to leave. It wasn't that he didn't believe what the voice was telling him, but he didn't quite believe it enough to unfreeze his limbs.
His father made no move towards his wand. That was part of Orion's power; his absolute confidence that everyone would do what he said with no further threats necessary.
“I am sure that your Gryffindor friends would tell you that you're being brave, trying to leave like this,” Orion continued. “But we both know you're not, are you? You're running away instead of standing strong by your family. If you had an ounce of courage, you'd stay here, where you belong, rather than running off to those filthy Mudbloods and blood traitors.”
Remus, that small voice reminded him. He wants to see Remus dead.
And that, more than anything, gave Sirius the push to spring into action. This wasn't really about Sirius and Orion, not really. It wasn't even about Remus. This was about demonstrating what doing the right thing looked like. This was about showing that even the oldest pureblood families could break with tradition.
And this was about showing Regulus a way out, if he was ever ready to take it.
“I'm leaving,” Sirius said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I've already decided, and they're already expecting me. But it's your choice, Father. You can let me leave now, or I can leave after you've locked me in here and the Ministry has come to investigate what might have happened. I hear they're looking much more closely at families associated with Dark Magic these days....”
It was part bluff, really. Sirius had no idea whether or not the Ministry would be able to force an inspection of Grimmauld Place. But he did know that the Ministry had been taking rasher action recently, folding to demands that they do something about this Dark Lord, and Sirius was willing to bet that Orion was just as uncertain about what they might do as he was.
“You're a disgrace,” snarled Orion. “If you leave this house, you're done. When your friends see you for the coward you really are, you'll have nowhere to go. You'll be no son of mine.”
“That will be a relief, then,” said Sirius. He forced his legs to start moving him towards the door. Orion didn't move, but Sirius didn't slow his pace. There was just enough room to get through the door around his father, but the space was small enough that Sirius knew Orion could stop him if he chose to.
Sirius held his breath as he twisted the knob and stepped outside. He was ready to take his first breath of truly free air when his father's hand gripped his shoulder.
“Don't ever come near any member of my family again,” Orion hissed.
Before Sirius could respond, the door had slammed behind him.
On shaking legs, Sirius walked to the sidewalk, where the wards ended. He mounted his broom, and started the flight towards the Potters'.
***
James's own anxiety for Sirius was amplified tenfold by Remus's presence in his living room.
Remus had Flooed the Potters letting them know that Sirius was on his way, and shortly after, Remus and Peter were both in his living room, along with James's parents.
Remus had been sitting almost perfectly still on the couch, head in his hands. It was driving James crazy.
“I have to stay calm,” Remus had explained when James had snapped earlier. “If I get too scared, he'll be able to feel it, and it will only make things worse.”
So James contented himself with pacing the room and exchanging worried glances with Peter. What could have happened on the first day of break that Sirius was already running away?
The most exciting thing that had happened so far was the arrival of Sirius's trunk. His parents had floated it into Sirius's usual room, which now looked almost haunted without Sirius himself filling it up.
After what felt like forever, Remus looked up.
“I think he's on his way. He must have made it out.”
James collapsed onto the couch besides Remus. “Thank Merlin. It will be for good this time, right? He won't go back again?”
Remus shook his head. “I don't think so, but I still don't know what happened.”
“That's him!” said James's mum at last, as his dad mumbled the spells to let Sirius through the wards.
Remus was running to the door, James and Peter right behind him. The second Sirius landed in the driveway, the three of them threw themselves at him, squeezing him between them, desperate to make sure he was okay.
“You're all here? I thought I'd finally gotten away from you lot,” Sirius joked weakly. James released him, and the other boys followed suit, although Remus kept a hold of his hand. James took a step back to survey Sirius. He looked shaken, but unharmed.
“What in Merlin's name happened?” he asked his best friend.
Sirius sighed. “Let's go inside. I'd rather tell everyone at once.”
***
Remus wasn't sure that he'd ever be able to thank the Potters enough. Not only for taking in Sirius, but for being ready to rescue him from the moment Remus had Flooed. They treated him like a son, and Remus knew that was so much more than Sirius ever got from his own family.
Both of Remus's parents were now at the Potters' as well. Sirius had insisted it was a good idea for them to get out of their house while they considered next steps, since he wasn't sure how his family would react to learning his soulmate's identity.
It was different, having his parents around. They both knew about Sirius and had met him, of course, but Remus had always taken care not to be overly affectionate in front of them. But every instinct was screaming at him to stay close to Sirius, to make sure he was okay.
For now, Remus had to content himself with holding Sirius's hand as they all sat around the kitchen table.
“I don't think they'll do anything,” Sirius said. “They've already disowned me, so what I do shouldn't matter. But they're completely mad, so I can't say for sure.”
“You are all welcome to stay here for as long as you'd like,” said Mrs. Potter, looking each of the Lupins in the eye.
“Our wards are pretty strong,” said Remus's mother. “Lyall did everything he could to strengthen them after....” Her eyes slid to Remus, and he knew what she meant. After the werewolf that bit me got in.
“I've been adding to them the past couple years,” Remus added. His parents stared at him. “Just a few charms I've been working on. I knew being my parents might put you at risk, at some point.” Sirius squeezed his hand.
“You've been doing underage magic...that you invented?” his father repeated.
“What do the spells do, Remus?” asked Mr. Potter, cutting off his own father's anger.
“Well, one is modified based on Vampirian magic theory, which also forms the foundation of the Fidelius Charm,” said Remus.
“Vampires!” scoffed his father. “What do they know? They're nothing but – “
“Half-breeds?” Remus asked coolly. His father flushed, but Remus didn't have the energy to be angry about it, so he continued, “The charm should keep anyone out who hasn't been invited. And I've been working on a modified Muggle-repelling charm, which I haven't had a chance to cast yet. If the charm can target Muggles, there's no need it can't target any group we want. I think I should be able to have it target anyone who has cast an Unforgiveable Curse. While that won't necessarily include everyone who might wish us harm, I think it should get a wide chunk of the group.”
Mr. Potter was nodding along. James beamed at him proudly, as if he had just figured out how they were going to pull off an exceptionally clever prank. But his parents were both still staring at him.
“Why didn't you tell us, Remus?” breathed his mother. “We had no idea you were so worried, or that you had been inventing spells at all.”
Remus shrugged. “I didn't want to worry you.” His mother let out a laugh of disbelief.
“Right,” said Mr. Potter, and Remus felt a surge of admiration for how he was always able to keep focused on the task at hand. “Remus, why don't you and I go take a look at the wards, see what we can tighten up, and then we can decide if it makes sense for the three of you to stay there?”
“He's just a child,” his mum whispered. “He shouldn't be the one protecting us.”
“I was a child when I was five, mum,” said Remus, quietly. “I've been protecting you ever since, in a way.”
It was true. His parents had protected him as well as they could, and in turn, he had protected them as much as he could from the pain of his transformations, from how much it hurt when he noticed them avoiding him near the full moon.
He stood up and followed Mr. Potter to the fireplace, where they Flooed to his house.
***
“I'm sorry,” Sirius said for what seemed like the thousandth time once they were finally alone.
Even though Mr. Potter was confident that the Lupins' house was secure, they were all a little spooked and had decided to spend the night at the Potters'. Remus was glad his parents hadn't protested when he and Sirius had proceeded to their usual room together.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Remus made sure to hold eye contact while he said it, wishing he could make Sirius believe it.
“It's because of my crazy family that you're in this mess! If you were anyone else's soulmate, you wouldn't have to – “
“And if you were anyone else's soulmate, you wouldn't have to deal with the risk of living with a werewolf for the rest of your life,” Remus cut him off. “Your family is not your fault.”
He closed the space between them and rested his hands on Sirius's waist.
“I'm so glad you're out of there, Siri. Please don't blame yourself for what they do.”
“I can't believe I've really left,” said Sirius. “Even if my parents try to fight the emancipation application, it won't get resolved before the summer's over, and then I'll be of age by next year.”
Remus grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the bed. He positioned himself so they were lying side by side, facing each other. He traced his fingers over Sirius's jawline as he tried to work up the courage to ask the question that had been creeping into his mind for the last few hours.
“So,” Remus began, positive that Sirius could feel that his heart was pounding, “when we get back to Hogwarts...will everyone know?”
He felt selfish for even thinking about this when Sirius had just run away from home and his own parents were spending a night away from home out of fear for their own safety, but an image of him and Sirius sitting properly together in the common room had planted itself in his mind and refused to be shaken.
“I don't know. I'm sure Snivellus will tell as many people as possible.”
“Meaning all of Slytherin will know.”
“Most likely.”
“I don't want it to be only people who hate us who know.”
Sirius kissed him, and it felt so warm and comforting and grounding after the day of fear and anxiety that Remus wished he could just stop caring about things like Hogwarts and who knew what.
“I never wanted to have to keep this a secret, Moony,” Sirius said softly.
“I know. So can we stop, now?”
“It's not only Slytherins who might have a problem, though. There are all sorts of people who might not be comfortable with it.”
“Yeah. But that will happen even if it just stays a rumor spread by Snape. If people have a problem with us because of this, I'd rather we dealt with it together, rather than trying to deny it.”
“I just hate the idea of doing anything that might put you in more danger.”
“I can't live in secret like this, Pads. And I don't think you can, either.”
“No.” Sirius sat up suddenly, grinning in a way that Remus had come to associate with trouble. “We'll have to plot the most legendary way to let everyone know. Something people will be talking about for years.”
“Or, we could just, you know, hold hands in public and roll our eyes at anyone who says anything.”
“You're no fun, Moony. I've been holding back on grand romantic gestures all year! It's not in my nature to be quiet, you know that.”
“Oh, the tattoo wasn't enough for you?”
“We weren't even dating yet! That doesn't count.”
“Why does 'grand' have to mean 'public and embarrassing'?”
“We have all summer to plot, and we have all the Marauders under one roof to help us! We'll come up with something you like, I promise.”
Remus considered. While his insides squirmed at the idea of doing anything Sirius would consider “legendary,” he was also thrilled at the idea of showing the whole school that Sirius, quite possibly the most handsome student at Hogwarts, was his.
Something of this must have shown on his expression, because Sirius grinned and said, “I knew you'd come around.”
“Fine. As long as I have veto power.”
“Of course.”
They lay there in silence. Remus thought about how they had been sleeping in Sirius's bed at Hogwarts the night before, trying to stay awake all night and memorize the feel and look of each other, not knowing how long it would be before Sirius could escape his parents' house. And now here they were, in a different bed, but together again, the very next night. It felt like when you say goodbye to someone, only to realize you're still walking in the same direction for a little longer.
And they were once again in a state of some uncertainty. Remus didn't feel right sending his parents back to their house alone, when he felt somewhat responsible for the danger they were in. So he wasn't sure if he'd be leaving the next day, or when he'd be returning. It was one thing to be apart from Sirius when Sirius was trapped at Grimmauld Place, but it was different to be apart when Sirius was free, and they could conceivably be spending time together.
“You could come to my house, you know. For a bit,” offered Remus.
Sirius squirmed. Remus knew his parents made Sirius nervous.
“Don't you think they'll hate me, after all this?”
“No,” Remus assured him. “But I would like you to get to know them.”
“I know. Just...not right away, okay? Let's let things settle for a bit first.”
“Of course.”